The mind, however vaguely defined, is a very powerful tool.
It can make or break you.
Psyching oneself out is a strange occurrence of the mind.
Where am I going with all this ambiguous mumbo-jumbo?
Well, just as the mind creates or eliminates your obstacles in life, it does just that in courtship and pick-up.
One of the biggest ways that a guy goes about creating unnecessary obstacles for himself is by rating women’s looks
Now, I know we all in pickup are guilty of this: “She’s an HB1, HB20, HB8.6”! But I find that to be more of an illustrative factor than something taken seriously by the guys.
Nevertheless, this rating of women will produce a back-firing effect on most guys: be they Aspiring Pick-Ap Artists or your Average Frustrated Chumps trying to get by. And that is because unskilled PUA’s and AFC’s lack the internal wherewithal to keep their shit in check.
When most guys get the privilege of having a hot girl say hi to them, their giddy hearts begins to flutter, their nerves go topsy-turvy and their palms begin to perspire as though they had used an entire bottle of baby oil to moisturize their hands before leaving their abode.
The more women you sleep with, the less this spontaneous reaction occurs (if at all).
Hot women become regular items on the shelf instead of commodities.
In my case, I never get the jitters when faced wih women of impeccable beauty [my fingers almost fell off just from typing those words: that a woman can have impeccable beauty].
I do NOT put women on pedestals! I do NOT rate women above an 8 on the looks scale!
I rarely even classify a woman as hot.
It isn’t that I’m actively trying to be a dick about things. It is merely because I know the psychology of psyching oneself out by his or her own mind!
The instant your eyes, heart and dick begin to sell yourself on the idea that Jane Doe is a 10, your mind concurrently buys into your own bullshit, believes it (that Jane Doe is a walking, talking Madonna), and the process of pedestalization kicks off to where the girl becomes larger than life, having more value than you do- and “bang”- your chances vanish like a magician making poofing the trick before your eyes.
Admittedly, when it comes to genuinely rating women high, just as every other dude, I too was a victim of such social mind-fuckery until I realized that it was having a stymied effect on my chances with hot women.
To clear the air on something here, just to avoid possible confusion about my position: I am not making a case that all women are equal on the looks scale, or that there isn’t such a thing as a super-hot girl.
Surely there exist ugly chicks, not-so-ugly ones, cute/cutish girls and gorgeous ones.
What I’m actually saying to you here is that outwardly, you should react to super hot girls no differently than you do to ugly ones.
Treat them no differently!!!
By virtually (and literally) separating the hot ones from the ugly ones, you inadvertently create a situation where your mind says Girl A has more value than Girl B because Girl A is way hotter.
Girl A- the way hotter girl- then begins to play on your mind…in a bad way. Not only will you not have a shot with Girl A because you’ve put her into the goddess frame, but it’d be next to impossible to contain your nerves when in her presence or via some form of communication with her.
Therefore, to avoid this whole clusterfuck, just as I began doing some years back, Rate no woman higher than a fucking 8!!!
I DON’T GIVE A RAT’s ASS if she’s a reincarnation of the youngest version of your favorite porn queen from back in the days to whom you wanked to bed every night as a teen! She’s no hotter than an 8!!!
Now, what does this achieve on a psychological level?
Not only does it level the playing field in respects to you and her, but it humanizes your perception of the girl.
If she’s no longer deemed an HB10.10 goddess in your mind; there’s no reason to fear her.
There’s no reason to get all jittery and iffy about your approach to her.
Look at it this way too in illustrating a point that I made previously: would you get all nervous and petrified if for some reason, an ugly chick were to approach and try to make conversation with you?
Of course not!
You may feel uneasy by the thought that people may mistakenly put 1 and 2 together and try to pin you both as a couple: you and the ugly duckling. But by no means would you feel intimidated, un-confident and afraid to engage her.
Shit- you may likely even carry an air of aloofness and condescension!
Conversely, let’s sub that ugly duckling in the illustration for a drop-dead gorgeous birdie.
How would you feel if that drop-dead gorgeous chick were to approach you to strike up a random convo…for whatever reason?
You would probably shit your undies! 😯 😆
You would likely stutter, pant, gawk, experience a chilling air of non-confidence and insecurity, you name it!
A question: who’s actually causing this?
Is it the girl or you?
Your mind fucks you into believing that because the girl is hot(ter), she’s worthy of more value, deified, cherished, thus rendering you neutered and petrified.
This isn’t the girl’s fucking fault!
It’s all perception at the end of the day!
You, as the beholder, determines whether she’s hot or not!
Hence you determine how you’ll treat her, and how you’ll react to her accordingly: if she’s hot, you treat her graciously. If she’s not hot, you treat her derisively or with an air of nonchalance.
Well I’m saying to you that you should treat every prospective lover with an air of nonchalance, regardless of her hotness!
Is this easier said than done?
However, you can shortcut this process and ultimately nip it in the bud by re-framing your perception of hotness and the way in which you reaction to women based on their hotness.
•Rate no woman higher than an 8!
•Fight the impulsive drive to want to separate women based on their facial affectations.
Thirdly, and this is the most frightening of the 3 hacks:
•Get accustomed to approaching hotter girls!
As you become acclimated to the exclusive environment in which hot girls breath [pun intended], you ultimately/gradually become desensitized to their hot-girl ways, charms, wits and glams.
Hot girls will have no longer impressed you based on sheer looks.
All of her hot-girl bullshit gets neutralized as you become accustomed to them. But this can only be achieved by jumping into the proverbial fire or the frigid pool (i.e. approaching so-called how women)!
Over time, those HB10’s, those dime pieces, become 5’s in your eyes.
Their looks are obviously still the same. But your perception of them (hot women) will have changed, hence the way you react to them and around them.
In conclusion and summary: it does matter how stunningly beautiful a girl is to me, I rate her no higher than an 8, and I treat her no differently than I would an ugly duckling.
Therefore, on an internal level- within my being or psyche- this otherwise super-hot 10 is reduced to a -minus 8. Externally, because of my inner reframe, I behave towards her accordingly (like a -8), whereas I no longer perspire like a gym-rat on cardio day, nerves in check, speech in check (I no longer stammer and fight for words) and everything goes much smoother from thenceforth.
With that, if you’re having difficulties getting over this hump where you pedestalize hot girls, simply reframe your outlook and perception by firstly verbalizing it (internally and externally):
“There is no such thing as a 10”!
Then act like you really believe this!
Over time, and with the previous 2 tips I’d cited above, you will have massacred your fear of hot women.
What is the benefits of that you may ask (no longer fearing and pedestalizing hot women)?
Well- clearly- attracting the hottest women whom you were previously petrified of, becomes a reality.
Sleeping with those hotties whom you would’ve deemed 10’s, becomes a reality as you will have psyched yourself up into become a confident chap in the face of goddesses on Earth!
If you need some one-on-one encouragement or clarification on this, hit me up on Skype by booking your session at the link below.