Example Of Girl Trying To Put Me Into The Boyfriend/Provider Frame After + Truths About Relationship

Women are very cunning and subtle in their attempts to corral and lock high-value Alpha males into monogamous entanglements, otherwise known as relationships.

I tell guys this all the time, particularly those who are gung-ho about getting a girlfriend:

“Quickest and easiest way to get a girlfriend is to have sex with the girl first”.

Hence, your aim should always be to sleep with the girl. Anything else (such as a relationship) should be secondary.

Once you will have slept with her, she is likely to try to become exclusive and to change up on you in subtle ways.

However, guys being the idiots they are, go about this (relationship) the wrong way by chasing girls down and begging them to be with them. Instead, by merely banging the girl, there’s a 7 in 10 chance that she will try something in hopes of trapping you into a relationship.

Hence, it becomes a situation where the girl chases you for a relationship, and not you chasing her for it.

In conjunction with that, is an attractive Alpha-Male frame.

What do I mean?

Well- if you want a girl to want you on a serious level, 1 way to shortcut this is to become (or act) like a man who’s well desired.

I won’t get into details on Alpha qualities right now. But general principles of an attractive man apply.

Thus, once you would’ve slept with a girl, while having this Alpha aura about yourself, 7 in 10 girls will try to angle and devise ways of quickly getting you locked down in a relationship.

Last night, I had the following text exchange with this girl whom I’d been banging for the past 4 weeks or so.

We’d only had sex on 4 different occasions.

Watch how she tries to push the relationship frame on me.

By the way, last night she was to meet me at a karaoke spot for drinks then go back to her spot. But because she took so long to show up, I suggested going by her instead in 1 swoop.

Pay close attention to what she does/says when it comes to sex.
[My texts in green. Hers in white]

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Now, I knew what she was up to from the get-go, since I go through something similar to this on a monthly basis with every 4 in 7 girls I would’ve slept with.

I knew that the reason she was trying to take sex off the table and to cuddle instead, was a ploy in hopes of getting me used to the boyfriend role of just hanging at her house, watching TV and so forth.

My answer was quite simple: NO!!!

If we’re not fucking, I am not coming by you!!!

Hence the reason I told her “fuck it; I’m going home instead”.

Most guys would not have called it off: largely stemming from a frame of desperation.

However, once you have abundance with women, you won’t accept positions which compromise your ultimate goals.

This have been the 2nd time this chick tried to pull this clingy shit on me, which was why I responded the way I did out of annoyance (though I was exaggerating annoyance somewhat).

She knows I’m not looking for anything serious but to hook up. Yet she attempts these subtle tricks in order to force me into a relationship/provider type of frame.

As I mentioned earlier, every 7 in 10 girls will attempt this once you would’ve slept with her (provided you’re an Alpha with options in her eyes).

Okay, so why is she trying to lock me down? Because she sees me as The Alpha Male.

She sees me as a guy who can enhance her social status and social standings.

Those 3 things are what they come down to with most girls:

Status, Standings and Social Value.

She wants the ego-boost of being able to brag to her girlfriends that she has captured and tamed an attractive wild man (attractive in the sense of personality and NOT looks).

This is bragging rights for women!

Secondly, another reason why she’s trying to lock me down (and this relates to the 1st point), is simply to get me off of the proverbial dating market, away from other women.

Again- the competition factor- with bragging rights as a spoil of victory.

If she manages to remove me from the dating market, she succeeds in having me for herself.

This is all fine and dandy if I wanted a relationship. But since I don’t; I know better than to allow myself to be cajoled and caged into such entanglement.

Furthermore, there’s a hidden reason why most girls will push for an LTR (Long-Term Relationship): They don’t want to appear slutty.

What is a woman’s #1 fear as we teach ad nauseum in the pickup community?

Her primary fear is to be perceived a slut.

No girl in her right mind would want to give off the impression that she’s okay with casual sex over a protracted period of time.

Hence, she will either do 1 of 2 things:

1.) Try to lock the guy down into a relationship

2.) End the fling altogether in order to save face

Realistically, a fling cannot last indefinitely (forever).

A fuck-buddy situation either transitions into a monogamous relationship, or the fuck-buddy situations ends. But it cannot last on a consistent basis for a long period of time without the girl (or the guy) catching feelings.

With that being said, in order to save face in hopes of not being perceived as a wanton harlot, a woman will try to trick the guy into a relationship unbeknownst to him.

That is why and how the vast majority of relationships evolve from sex: the girl tricking the guy into exclusivity, by consciously pulling back on sex, while simultaneously getting the guy to accept cuddling, watching TV, hanging out, etc.

Next thing you know, within 2 weeks time, the girl is referring to you as babes, baby, bae, “my man”, etc.

This is all a subtle plan/trick on the girl’s part, as a way to protect her reputation, image, esteem and social standings.

It has nothing to do with this cushy idea of love and mutual feelings!

It’s all about protecting her social value, while taking you off of the market from other women.

I wrote about this at length in a controversial article some years back.

Don’t let her tame you

In relation to the girl written about in this post, we had been hooking up for about a month now.

She knows, just as I do, that hooking up with no strings attached has a due date.

It has only been a month, we only had sex 4 times tops, and she’s already trying to push the boyfriend agenda by scaling back on the sex while trying to get me to do more of the boyfriendy stuff.

On a related note, this is where most up-and-coming PUA fail on their journey towards mastery.

They get into pickup as novices/newbs while they struggle over the course of 6 month with slow progress.

They eventually manage to pull and get their first lay.

Now, instead of moving on from that 1st lay or fuck-buddy relationship to gaming other girls, they stupidly succumb to the power of novel pussy and women, and- “POOF”- they quit the game of pickup, to instead embark on a relationship with the first girl whom they’d managed to f-close.

Having had just minimal experience with women, these guys aren’t relationship-ready in the least, thus their new relationship sours quickly due to their Beta-Male idiosyncrasies, and the girlfriend subsequently cheats on them and dumps them for another guy.

In my estimation from the analysis of data throughout the PUA community, this happens to more than 70% of guys who get into pickup.

They prematurely rush into exclusive relationships with the first girl they managed to sleep with.

They feel that they no longer need to learn about pickup and women- since after all- they have the prized girlfriend…until they get smacked with the rude awakening 4-5 months later.

Saying all that to say, the lure of having a woman to claim as your own, is a very power 1 for most guys.

Just as women want bragging rights to say that they have a boyfriend. Most guys want to brag and show off their new girlfriend also, to their family, buddies, post pics on social media, etc.

It is very fucking addictive (the lure of claiming someone).

However, a serious relationship just isn’t worth it, until you’ve at least slept with a moderate to generous amount of women, whereas you would’ve gained experience and knowledge about women and dating.

Therefore, always be on the alert for the subtle tactics employed by women whom you’re currently sleeping with.

Stick to your fucking guns!

If you truly desire a relationship with that particular girl- by all means- go for it!

However, if you aren’t looking for anything serious, and you desire to play the field, then you ought to be aware of the almost inevitable situation where the girl will try to suck and sucker you into monogamy.

I’ve been through this hand over fist! So I speak from experience as it relates to the subtle trickeries of women.

Alright, for argument sake, let’s say that I had conceded and agreed to hanging out with the girl last night: with no chance of sex.

The key difference here is that she’s someone whom I’d hooked up with before. This would not have been a problem if I’d never slept with her before.

Anyway, so had I gone by her last night to hang out, watch TV, cuddle and eat pizza or some shit, with no chance of sex happening since she made it clear that it isn’t on her agenda, what would’ve been the notable frame set?

First off; I would not have benefited an ounce from last night, since sex is all I wanted, and she wasn’t up for it.

How about her psychological gains?

She would’ve managed to slowly push her agenda of exclusivity and monogamy.

Now, let’s say that last night would’ve happened that way- I visited her to chill, and no sex- chances are, she would suggest the same thing on another occasion, perhaps inclusive of sex the following occasion.

What will eventually happen is this (perhaps on the 3rd occasion from that point): I would be lying in bed, thumbing through my phone, probably texting other girls, etc. with no trepidation or fear since we aren’t together, then the girl will likely say something as follows:

“Why don’t you give the phone a rest”

Or:

“Out of curiosity, who are you texting so often”?

You get the picture, right?

Those questions and statements will surface as a way for her to feel me out, gauge the relationship push, and to subsequently lead me into the direction she wants to go.

Over time, I would gradually begin to either hide the fact that I text others (in her presence), or put away my phone altogether.

Technically, I would’ve had nothing to hide since I am NOT beholden to her!

However, on a subconscious level, it will play on your mind! You will feel as though you are doing something wrong by interacting with other women in her presence.

You may get a phone call from another girl whom you’re hooking up with. But you’ll decline to answer…though you logically shouldn’t decline.

You see what’s happening here?

The girl manages to put this into your psyche and subconscious, by making you feel as though you shouldn’t engage other women.

Gradually, perhaps 2 weeks down the line, and unbeknownst to you; you are now locked in a monogamous relationship which you didn’t agree to, since you had no idea it would’ve led to this.

When men think of relationships and how people ought to get into them, we think of mutuality: a relationship should be mutually agreed on by both parties.

Does it ever happen that way beforehand?

NEVER!

In a woman’s mind, a relationship shouldn’t, or doesn’t have to commence on mutual basis.

As long as she wants it bad enough (in order to protect herself from being perceived as a slut who sleeps around); that’s all that matters to her!

Since guys think that relationships are firstly discussed by both parties before entering them, we often times get blindsided by the relationship when we happen to find ourselves in it a month later.

Why don’t most men just pull out of relationships after they would’ve realized that it was unfairly hatched and manipulated by the girl(friend)?

Three things:

•Complacency

•Sex

•Scarcity Mentality

Complacency: “Why the heck not!? How bad can it be after all”?

Sex: “The sex is awesome. For crying out loud, I don’t want to go back to fucking my palms at night like a fap-monkey”.

Scarcity Mentality: “I have no other options. This is all I have. If I walk now, I may not get another girl to fuck for the next 3 years”.

Those are the 3 reasons why a guy will never protest and walk, upon discovering that he’s been tricked into the boyfriend frame.

In less than no time, like a crooked government, the girl will have stripped away your rights to engage in any activity concerning another woman.

Interestingly, men who eventually go on to cheat, are those who resent the girlfriend for what they (the men) perceived to have been a wrong and an injustice perpetrated against them: stripping away of their rights, etc.

On a subconscious level, the guy feels justified in cheating because he’s now fount himself in a relationship that was ill-conceived without him having a say.

Women reading this article should let that sink right in whenever they complain about a cheating boyfriend.

Perhaps the guy resents you for having tricked him into monogamy before he was ready for it. ❓

As for myself on an even more personal level, as you’d seen from the screenshots above; I don’t find myself imbued in, and bogged down in such sticky situations because I block any attempt by the girl to trap me into an unwanted LTR (Long-Term Relationship).

In spite of that, it isn’t akin to rocket science. Women will try their earnest best to ration sex while indirectly blackmailing you into exclusivity aka a monogamous relationship.

Again- if that’s what you truly want then let it happen!

I on the other hand, enjoy abundance with women, and I have tons of options from which to choose. Not because I’m anything inherently special, but I’ve worked to create and cultivate those leads. Hence, there’s no incentive on my part to putting myself in a position where a girl will try to put me in the boyfriend zone by switching things up on me.

Thus why I was able to flat out tell this girl in no uncertain terms was I coming over. Also, if it isn’t about sex, I am not coming to her house to fucking watch television and cuddle.

With options, no 1 girl becomes anymore special than the next.

How To Deal With An Unruly Girlfriend

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“It All Begins Rosy

Hey fellaz, it’s been a great while since I knocked up an extensive article on any deep-subject matter.

Such an article is long overdue I would say…so let’s get started.

All relationships kick off peachy and wonderful.

This “rosy” phase is coupled with 2 factors:

    •NOVELTY

    •IMPRESSIONS

Let’s tackle “Novelty”.

Remember that giddy, boyish feeling of finally getting your paws on that new smartphone, new gadget, or getting that novel race car as a kid?

We all are familiar with the feeling.

Well- that is the same sensation we as humans experience when in new/novel relationships.

No different than landing that new job where everything seems surreal the first few weeks and months.

Keywords: “first few weeks and months”.

What happens to novelty, or as time passes by, after you would’ve had that once new smartphone, for about 5 months?

It loses its newness and novelty.

Do you see where I’m going here?

Stick a pin in that point for a second.

Let’s touch on the 2nd factor as to why relationships begin almost perfectly: IMPRESSIONS.

The ‘Impression’ Phase: Everyone’s An Actor

We’ve all heard of the cliche, “first impressions are lasting”- and that is TOTALLY true- however, I’m going to take it a step further in saying that we all pretend at the outset of a new relationship: whether it be work-related, sex-related, romance-related…doesn’t matter!

If I introduce Tim, a fellow pick-up artist buddy of mines, to a girl name Tammy, Tim and Tammy are likely to put on their social masks just to make a good impression- and they will- or at least try their darned best to make a great impression.

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On a personal level, whenever I’m at work [outside of what I do in relation to pickup advice] and dealing with new customers whom I’m meeting for the first time; you best believe my smile is much more radiant than if I were dealing with the run-of-the-mill, same-old customer whom I’m accustomed to seeing everyday.

Hence, the actor factor of impressions is put on.

In relation to LTR’s (Long-Term Relationships], impressions work the same way.

We meet someone novel, we strive to put on our best act, best face, and to hide our shortcomings and ill-mannerisms, in order to preserve the good impression that we’ve managed to finagle and finesse up to that point.

However, there reaches a point in every relationship, when and where the actors have to be unmasked.

Our true selves are exposed to the other party.

Things aren’t looking so peachy now that the newness has worn off, and the impression mask has peeled away.

It is at this stage of the game where once charming girlfriends are liable to become unruly bitches.

Why Good Seemingly Girls Go Rouge…In Relationships

The impression factor aside, which we’d dealt with in the previously passage; good girls go bad for various reasons.

Not to crush any guy’s cushy-little dreams of the perfect girlfriend, but most seemingly good girls go bad because they were never good in the first place.

I don’t mean this intrinsically as a human being. But history-wise as it relates to their decision making and behavioral patterns in the past.

Most girls who turn out unruly, were always unruly. But they had managed to lull the new boyfriend into a false sense of security, by giving him the “I’m a well-mannered princess” impression, to then overnight, make a subtle transformation into something out of a horror flick.

An impression can only last for a time.

The average girl in a relationship would’ve backslidden around the 4-6 month mark.

Her not-so-adorable ways would be on full display by that time.

Coincidentally, and this solidifies the point, most relationships (at least in the western world), last an average of 4-6 months (the median being 5).

This acceleration towards the crumbling of the vast majority of relationships, is fostered and fueled by the occurrence of the bad girl being unmasked around that time frame.

Apart from that- the fact that good girls go bad because they were never quote-unquote good girls to begin with- there exists slew of other reasons (existential and micro in nature) as to why most girls go rouge as the relationship hits the 4-6 mark.

Just to list a few common ones:

   •Relationship boredom

   •An ex-boyfriend back in the picture

   •Girlfriends leading her astray

   •She wants out

   •You were only a rebound guy for a time

Now, those are just existential and auxiliary factors to the bigger accelerant which I mentioned throughout the article thus far: she was a pretender at first, but unable to keep up the jig, hence exposed herself.

“She Has Gone Bad: Now What”?

As the boyfriend in the relationship which has taken a turn for the worse, you are left with 2 options:

   A.) Haul ass and leave!
   B.) Find a solution!

Hauling ass is the easier route on paper.

However, easier said than done, after you [the guy] would have invested so much emotional and physical capital into that relationship.

Kenny telling you to “just move on bro”, is a non-starter.

Finding a solution to the unruliness on the part of your girlfriend, is the likely avenue which most guys will have taken, once faced with such a precarious dilemma.

Before I go there, allow me to shed some light on the why’s of why guys won’t abandon ship so quickly.

The Investment factor is hugely important as to why guys get locked into relationships which are seemingly sinking (and why women don’t).

Due to the traditional structure of courtship and relationship in the western world- and perhaps the world over- men are forced to invest more, while women passively go along for the ride, without investing nada!

Need some examples?

Guy meets girl.

Guy proposes date.

Guy spends and pays on date because he’s expected to…according to societal standards and protocols.

Guy continues to invest emotionally, psychologically and physically: he has to get more creative for future dates, he may buy flowers, etc. He burns up more credits and minutes placing phone calls since- well- he’s the guy- and men are supposed to do the bulk of the courting, calling, texting, etc.

With that, the guy is constantly on the offensive, making moves, planning, calling, texting more than she does, vying for the opportunity to become her boyfriend.

Meanwhile, the girl on the other hand, would’ve virtually played a completely passive role, having everything handed to her.

She has invested very little or nothing into this affair thus far.

Note: the one who invests the least [the girl], stands to lose the least in the end.

Hence, the way that modern courtship is now structured in these parts, guarantees women a soft landing, in such a way that if things crumble (and they likely will), she emerges virtually unscathed.

The guy on the other hand, virtually the sole contributor from courtship phase to 4 months into the relationship, he has no route in which will guarantee him a soft landing.

Hundreds, to even thousands of dollars which he had invested into this girl and the relationship; any guy would be a dodo to not try to salvage things, before allowing that ship to completely capsize at sea!

Hence, in a sense, the boyfriend is held hostage in a catch-22 paradox, where:

   A.) If he bails prematurely, he loses everything and gained virtually nothing

   B.) If he sticks around and continues to invest in hopes of salvaging the relationship; there’s no guarantee that the rogue girlfriend would even want to stay on board

In fact: the more he invests, the more he loses.

Either strategy is lose-lose for the boyfriend.

Continued investment will chase the girl away even further.

Bailing will have rendered his time spent and investment placed, futile.

With all that being said, that is the primary reason as to why guys just don’t leave when things are bad.

Too much invested!

Therefore, having been in this situation in the past, and with my current girlfriend, I can empathize with any guy who reaches this crossroad.

Saying to those guys: “Just move on”, simply won’t cut it!

This is why I advocate that before bailing, every guy should exhaust every mean, and contemplate every solution, in order to get his unruly girlfriend back in line.

By “solution”, I neither mean begging, crying, whining nor pouring more money into the girl or the relationship.

In that case: what is a man supposed to do once the ship is sinking because of his girlfriend’s unruly behavior which is the cause of major problems in the relationship?

Let’s firstly address 1 of the worst moves to which a guy can resort.

Begging, Asking, Inquiring…

Whichever way you desire to phrase it: begging and pleading with the unruly girlfriend for her to get back in line, is a losing strategy.

One of the underlying reasons as to why she’d gone rogue in the first place, is because of your beggy-vibe and supplicative ways.

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Most guys make the mistake of spoiling their girlfriend. And when she repays them with ingratitude, guys are left at a lost as to the constant problems surfacing.

With that, being a pushover, and someone who spoils his girlfriend without warrant, is the fastest way to have that girl not respect you, and get unruly.

Sounds counter-intuitive as hell, since every guy should aim to meet his girlfriend’s every desire. And doing so will have ensured that the relationship remains afloat and happy.

Well- that’s how it works in the movies.

In reality; women are very ungrateful beings.

Read: Pampering women will never profit you.

They are liable to take kindness coming from a man, as a sign of weakness in the man.

This is why any kindness towards a woman, has to be rationed out like during a climactic crisis of sorts.

Everything mentioned, at least in this sub-passage, ties into supplication, begging and seeking answers.

Seeking answers during problematic occurrences between your GF and you, is another way to make yourself look weak in the eyes of an unruly lass.

What is the stereotypical image of a strong man aka a real man?

Someone who’s decisive and doesn’t ask questions.

Right?

Right!

I am not saying that this alone, is what exclusively makes a real man a real man [decisiveness].

However, being decisive is a very sexy and attractive trait in a man…according to women.

The antithesis/opposite of decisiveness is indecision.

Indecision denotes questions.

Moreover, if you ask questions, it means that you’re unsure and indecisive.

Within a female’s brain- within the confines of a relationship- indecision, un-surety and asking questions on the part of the boyfriend, signifies a handicap and weakness within that guy’s manly armor.

In other words; “If you’re a man, you shouldn’t have to ask what the fucking problem is”!

Hence, whenever dealing with conflicts within a relationship- whether from an unruly girlfriend or one who is largely in line- you NEVER want to operate from a position of asking…as in asking, “What’s the matter babes? Why are you acting that way”?

Always aim to operate from the more decisive and stronger frame of assumption!

Read: Assume Attraction

If you get it wrong: she will correct it in subtle or overt ways!

Now, just to put this in context for those who are challenged 🙂 ; in no way am I saying that inquiring and asking are don’t-do’s- period!

Saying to your girlfriend, “Hey babes, where is the butter? I put it here but can’t find it”, will NOT diminish your manliness in her eyes, just because you are unsure as to where the butter is.

Those are the most trivial matters of no significance.

On the other hand, saying to your girlfriend during conflict-resolution time, “Babes, why won’t you tell me what the problem is”(?), will potentially and likely, cause her to see you as a beacon of weakness and indecision, opposed from a guy who’s supposed to know what the fuck is going on at all times!

Furthermore, women rely on men for certainty.

Let that marinate for a bit.

Women rely on men for certainty and surety.

Women are creatures of indecisiveness and indecision.

In other words: they don’t know what they truly want, why they want, and how to logically obtain this want.

Case in point: survey every girl on the planet and ask her what does she desire in her ideal man, and she will give you a list of all the elaborate qualities she desires in a man: someone who cooks for her, brings her breakfast in bed, massages her body to sleep, knight in shining armor…you name it!

That is every girl’s ideal type.

That’s what she claims she wants! But who does she go for?

The partying riffraff who doesn’t know how to cook [I’m one of them 😉 ], wouldn’t give her a massage with a 10-feet pole, unruly to the core, etc, etc, etc.

She keeps falling for the guys who don’t align with her criteria of the ideal man…in the least.

Read: She has no type

She cannot make up her mind!

She truly doesn’t know what she wants!

Therefore, she relies on a man for surety in decision-making.

Now, as the man in the relationship, approaching someone (the girlfriend) who doesn’t know what she wants, yet seeking clarity and answers from that person, how do you expect to get forthright answers? And how do you expect to get resolution? Furthermore, how do you expect her to respect you for seeking resolution and answers from her, when she herself doesn’t even trust herself in making decisions!?

Now, do you see why asking the unruly girlfriend about the relationship issues and why she’s being uncompromising, is a very bad strategy?

She inherently looks to you [the man] for answers. Yet, you’re asking her the questions and begging for clarity and resolution to the problem.

Thus, begging your girlfriend to change her ways, and crying about being heartbroken and how much you love her to death, will NOT salvage the relationship!

Capiche?

Let’s get strategic now…Kenny’s way! 🙂

“Become Unruly Yourself”

You shouldn’t fight fire with fire…so they say.

That colloquialism does have merits. But it also loses its merits depended on the situation.

Whenever your (new) girlfriend begins to show signs of going rouge (and this WILL happen), doing her own thing in spite of your reservations, disregarding you as an entity: you must show her that 2 can dance that dance!

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Playing passive, civil pussy in the face of an unruly girlfriend, is like bringing a plastic knife to a gun fight.

She will blow you away!

The girl already doesn’t have any respect for you because of your spoiling ways which I’d mentioned earlier.

You maintaining the, “I’m a good boyfriend” stance, will really dry up any ounce of respect she might have had for you, which seeped through a crevice in the respect reservoir.

If you want an unruly girlfriend to eventually cooperate; you have to bring her to her knees by showing her that you can also play that uncooperative game!

Do what she does to you!

People tend to only respond to empathy once they will have been subjected to what they subject others to.

In other words, let’s say for argument sake that your “good girlfriend gone bad”, doesn’t care to respond to your text messages in prompt fashion, simply because she lacks respect for you and your time.

Doubling down on your promptness whenever she texts you, will not serve the purpose of bringing her back in line.

She has to be subjected to the same pain in having her time sidelined on the back-burner, just as she’s been doing to you.

Moreover, you don’t reward a girl for bad behavior.

This will only okay further bad behavior and unruliness.

You bring her to her knees through empathy, by giving her a dose of her own medicine.

Make her feel what she makes you feel!

Become unruly and uncooperative yourself!

For instance: you text her at 9 AM and she elects to ignore your messages upwards of 12 PM, then she gingerly replies as though it’s nothing to her- no, “sorry babes, I was busy doing so and so”- then you ought to do the same to her, and treat her communiques as though they were mere afterthoughts.

Start taking 3 hours to reply to her.

She takes 4; you take 5!

She takes 10; you take 12!

You get the point, don’t you?

This process (of having someone you’ve invested in, put you aside) will rattle anyone’s reality of their value and meaningfulness in the eyes of the other person.

Purposely ignoring her messages and calls for a change, just as she does to you, will not only rattle her world to the core, but it will force empathy upon her…although prior, she cared 2 fucks about how her unruliness had affected your state.

Note: You have to give her a dose of her own medicine in order for her to emphasize with the bullshit that she’s been doing to you.

You CANNOT and will NOT cause change, and make her empathize with your grievances, by (solely) arguing about it, nagging and crying about how hurt you are and how bad it is that she shows lack of interest in you.

Crying and solely verbalizing your grievances won’t manifest change.

Women in relationships, only respond to punishments and pain.

Arguing with her (which I’m just as guilty of doing as the next man), will simply see your words enter 1 ear, then fly out the other.

Hence, it’s imperative that you yourself become unruly by breaking usual patterns to which she’s accustomed.

Breaking Patterns Will Screw With Her Head

Predictability is the #1 killer of attraction.

If a girl can predict your every move, action, line and word; she will lose interest so fast that it will make your head spin like a yoyo on a smooth tarmac.

A huge part as to why she went bad to begin with, and no longer wants in on this relationship, is because your predictability has stifled the attraction.

Read: Familiarity kills attraction

On a side note, this is why I advise guys to NOT move in with their girlfriends. But to remain living separately until some years apart will have elapsed.

Guys get so caught up on love and poon-tang during the first 5 months on the relationship, that they often lose sight of everything rational, to then take giant leaps into a pit of fire…virtually that is.

There exists no rational reason why you should want to move in with a new girlfriend; someone whom you haven’t even known for 5 months good.

That is simply rushing! And you are operating from a frame of desperation, Scarcity and clinginess, by thinking (subconsciously):

If I move in with her pronto, I can keep tabs on her better, monitor her movements, keep her away from other guys…

In less than no time (upon moving in), the relationship sours, and you become another early statistic in the relationship graveyard.

Digressing.

Anyway, so moving in with a girl (prematurely) will have killed the attraction, because the girlfriend now gets to see more of you (too much of you), knows more of you, and gets to predict your every move: spoken and unspoken.

If you’re not buying this shit- that being predictable kills- then allow me to draw the movie analogy.

Let’s say that you and a friend are watching a movie that you never seen before…but he has.

Having knowledge of how the film culminates, your buddy spills the beans and gives away some details which now renders the movie predictable.

How is the enjoyment factor for you now that your friend had given away the movie?

It doesn’t seem as exciting does it?

The same thing with women: in and out of relationships.

If she can read your proverbial movie and accurately predict every scene which is to happen next: then she loses interest in watching that film to its culmination.

Thus, when a girlfriend loses interest and the relationship wanes, remaining a predictable dodo, will only give her lots more ammunition to act up and ultimately dump you.

Therefore, changing your patterns will screw with her head as she no longer can predict your moves!

In hindsight- look at it this way- her unruliness breaks the predictability pattern on her end, doesn’t it?

You can’t predict nor anticipate her unruly movements…and this is driving you crazy!

Well- this should give you all the encouragement needed as to why you should behave accordingly by breaking patterns.

Here’s also a little tidbit: as the boyfriend in the relationship going through this pain at the moment, you’re likely to surmise that you are feeling it sharply!

It stings you!

It pains you tremendously to see that your girlfriend shows you no respect, and she blatantly disregards anything that arises from you!

It hurts doesn’t it fellaz!?

Women feel emotions 10 times as deeply as men do!

Let that sink in for a second.

If you think you have it bad emotionally by being subjected to the unruly, pattern-breaking bullshit from your girlfriend, imagine how deeply she would feel it if you were to break patterns also and become untamed!

She would probably jump off a frikkin’ bridge in agony…though we don’t want that!

Here’s another caveat for those guys who are dealing with a stubborn cookie of a girlfriend.

Personally, my girlfriend of 6+ years is stubborn as FACK!

She’s as stubborn as they come!

She shows no emotions when hurt (hardly shows any when things are sunny).

She can play that shit off with the nonchalant ease of a professional actor!

Some women are masters at hiding their pain.

image

The unruly types are especially adroit and skilled in masking pain.

Moreover, girls who’ve been through a lot in relation to male-female dynamics (which are most girls over the age of 25), have learned to masked their hurt as if their life depend on it.

A guy filled with testosterone, who’s hurting because of his wayward girlfriend, is liable to punch a hole in a brick wall, and regret it later, once he’s in the infirmary nursing a broken wrist.

A Beta-Male type who doesn’t enjoy overdoses of the manly aggression chemicals at his disposal, is liable to pay his unruly girlfriend a visit, get down on his knees and bawl his eyes out in hopes of inducing pity from her in order to work things out.

Saying that to say: guys display their pains and emotional implosions, in visible fashion- some way or another- through anger and self-exile (antisocial behaviors) for examples.

A woman seeks to hide her pain.

When she’s hurt, she sobs in her pillow away from you: the boyfriend.

“No way I can allow you to see me so vulnerable”, she says to herself.

Hence, most guys being unaware that women actively seek to hide their true feelings, are likely to get duped and discouraged, once they fail to see visibly trails and overt signs that the girl is hurting too.

With that, once I advise guys that they should break pattern, become unruly, ignore the girlfriend for an entire day; they (guys) rebut with:

“But Kenny, it doesn’t seem like it’s working. Why isn’t she crying? Why isn’t she mad? Why isn’t she on her knees begging for mercy”!?

“Dude- she does feel it”!

She feels it 10 times as much as you do!

It is only because she’s a subtle creature by nature who was taught to play the background, why she masks her feelings (pain) like she’s won the jackpot and is trying to secure her chips from thieves.

Therefore, as you break the predictable patterns on her; she will feel it!

She may not tell you, may not show it, but she will feel it, and cry her eyes out to everyone except you: the boyfriend.

Ok, so how do you break patterns and kill your predictability which is partly responsible for killing your relationship?

Killing Your Predictability In Order To Drive Her Crazy

Very simple tactical stuff for the non-handicapped.

Breaking patterns implies doing away with routine.

That is what we’re aiming for here: a deviation from routine.

Routines are predictable…hence cumbersome and boring.

If you want to get your unruly, disrespecting girlfriend to wonder and second-guess her unruliness: quit doing everything you’ve been doing the way you’ve been doing it since the onset of the relationship.

Now, I’m not saying to completely desist from these things (whatever they are). Just to limit, rearrange and mix around the order of things.

•Breaking Text Patterns

For example, if you’re accustomed to shooting off a good-morning text to your girlfriend at 9 AM- every morning- then you want to break that tedious pattern and text her later on in the morning…or even the afternoon.

Better yet: don’t text her at all that day.

Make her fucking wonder!

Here’s the deal dude: humans operate on auto-piloted mode.

We walk around like zombies.

Everyone’s predictable.

She can anticipate and predict your 9 AM text.

It may come a little after 9 or a little before 9: but it will come 9-ish.

She expects this.

It is routine.

Break that routine and she starts to get antsy and worried.

The same goes for situations of varying times of the day. If you mainly call/text her during the afternoon; do it in the evenings or nights…or the morning.

The following day? Mix it up again!

Throw her off as much as you can.

This won’t make her emotional in the sense of crying a river. But it will cause her to start to cook up all sorts of reasons why you’ve broken your normal pattern.

“Is it another girl”!??? 😯

She asks herself!

Effectively, what you’ve done is to become unruly yourself by deviating from the script that she’s used to.

Any sudden deviation will cause the other person to think, wonder and worry.

Other forms of pattern breaks include:

   •Coming home at an unusual time. If you live apart (which I hope you do), but you’re accustomed to going by her at 5PM when you would’ve finished from work. Go by her at 7 PM instead. Always later but never earlier than you normally would.

   •Call her at an unusual time

   •Stop saying I love you if you’re accustomed to saying it

   •Labor on your smartphone more often, if you aren’t the type to be glued to his phone. It’ll make her wonder as to this unusual pattern and straying from the norm

   •Go out! Hit up the club or bar; especially if you’re not the bar and club type.

   •Grab a drink! if you aren’t accustomed to doing this, it will make her wonder as to why now; “what is his motive”?

Those are just a few pertinent and real-world examples of breaking the pattern of predictability.

Let’s touch on bulletpoint 3 for a minute: “I LOVE YOUs”.

The worst thing you can ever continue to say to a girl who has lost interest in you, and for the relationship, is “I love you”.

Not only does she NOT want to hear the sappy shit because it irritates her, but it helps to kill your chances of ever getting her to come to the table of compromise: AT ALL!!!

Why is this such a bad thing you may ask [to say “I love you” to my girlfriend]?

Inherently, it isn’t problematic (though you never want to shower your girlfriend with I love yous). However, the problem lies within timing of the situation.

If a girl whom you weren’t attracted to, were to shower you with “I love yous”, would it not irritate you?

Better yet: what if a girl to whom you weren’t attracted, were to finally break her silence and say, “I love you”…just that 1 time?

Would it still not cause some social discomfort, or have little effect, for the simple fact that this feeling isn’t mutual?

Of course it would!

Likewise with your girlfriend and the situation at the moment. Because of your sucky, spoiling Beta-Male ways, included all of the other reasons I cited in the article as to why she lost interest and respect; she no longer has attraction for you [by the way, this has nothing to do with physical attraction].

Hence, she becomes royally turned off by having this wimp guy [you] affirming his love for her.

With that being said: cut out the “I love yous” as part of this pattern breaking.

This will fuck with her head royally!

Although she hates it at this point [to hear the “I love yous”], she’s still accustomed to hearing it from you (that’s if you do say it regularly).

Once you withdraw and desist from this familiar-verbal pattern, it will send her mind into overdrive, wondering if there is someone else as to why you’re no longer affirming your love for her in usual fashion…or at all.

When you will have executed all of this (included the bulletpoints which I haven’t elaborated on), you will have managed to flip the script in numerous ways:

   • Kill your predictable ways

   • Gain an unruly edge yourself

   • Ultimately put yourself in a position to bargain and to get her back in line

You Cannot Bargain Without Leverage

The problem with the boyfriend who solely whines, nags, cries, begs and pleads to his girlfriend for her to value him and the relationship again, is that he has no leverage and no power of his own. So he’s essentially trying to get the girl to the bargaining table without having any bargaining power.

With that, the girl will never come to the table in order to work on a solution of conformity.

How do you gain leverage in order to force your unruly girlfriend to bargain?

By utilizing every bit of workable advice I’d shared with you thus far.

Grab a pen, or fire up a note-taking app, jot down, or copy-paste all of the actionable steps and tips that I cited thus far.

Save them, make a mental note of them and begin to execute them NOW!

Moving on!

In order to regain some power and control in your rapidly imploding relationship, you firstly need to communicate (indirectly) to the wayward girlfriend that you too can play that game.

Once she realizes that you aren’t a giant pussy and that you do still have a pair (although she’d virtually neutered you), the balance will tip ever so slightly away from her, and into your favor.

If she’s accustomed to getting 10 text messages from you per day, all of which reinforce her lack of attraction (because you’re over investing still), but you suddenly flip the script by sending 5, 2, 1 msgs per day as the days go by; this will ultimately cause some panic, make her worry, tip the scales in your favor (the boyfriend’s), simultaneously giving you bargaining leverage for when you’ll mostly need it later on.

Okay, so to put this all together, when you will have executed the prerequisite game plan by utilizing the tips I shared with you- quite naturally- you’ll be urged to ask:

“So Kenny…how long does this take”?

“This” referring to the process of the boyfriend also acting unruly (tactically) and breaking patterns.

How long?

There’s no specific time frame on any of this.

You execute until you get your point across…which is that you won’t continue to take the shit lying down!

You won’t continue to allow her to act unruly while you play the passive-pussy role, crying like a wuss-bag because your darling damsel has gone rogue!

Okay, so what are some indicators that your point has resonated?

   1.) She begins to invest more by reaching out: whether this be in the form of argument or civil discourse

   2.) Blatant or subtle questioning on her part. She begins to inquire about your sudden changes in routine, patterns and erraticness

   3.) She doubles down on her unruliness and or disrespect, as a knee-jerk reaction before she implodes and concedes (however subtly)

By all means, you don’t need the girlfriend to come bawling her eyes out, apologizing for all the bullshit to which she’s been subjecting you.

That would be the ideal reaction. But it isn’t necessary in order to gain leverage for bargaining.

You mainly want to prove a point, make a stance, get a reaction then relent a bit.

Generally, this could all be executed within a matter of 10 days (from my personal experience, and with those whom I’d coached in “Get Your Ex Back Program”).

Nevertheless, how do you bargain now that you’ve made a point, regained some value and respect, and now have leverage to play with?

You simply state your case in a non-whiny tone.

This does not necessarily have to be in person via official visit.

You can text your girlfriend your expectations from henceforth.

In fact, the informal approach (texting) may have a greater impact, as it communicates to the girl that she isn’t at all that important that she requires an official visit at a literal bargaining table.

Place a phone call if preference be.

Appear stern yet nonchalantly cool about things.

Here’s how I did this the other day when my GF began acting unruly over the course of 4-5 days [my text message]:

I been fed up of the constant drama. I’m prepared to see some changes from now on, and I can likewise work on mines.

That’s it!

Nothing drawn-out and elaborate.

Calm, cool yet with assertiveness.

The wrong message/text/call would read as follows (note the tone):

Hi baby, I’ve been thinking about you a lot and how much I want to keep things alive between us. But please try to change instead of constantly doing things to hurt me. Will you try for me…for us?

Not only was that whiny and supplicative, but it strips you of more value and leverage that you may have regained.

You don’t want to appear hurt and down and out when sending that crucial text (or via phone call) in hopes of bargaining and getting conformity once again from your girlfriend.

You must appear strong and not broken!

Therefore, you want to aim for structuring your message (or call) in a format which resembles the one I laid out in the first example, and avoid the whiny tone of the 2nd. example.

“What if she doesn’t respond”?

You don’t need reciprocation or a verbal agreement to solidify your point of change and conformity on her part.

Therefore, no need to wait on a text back saying, “I hear you babes. I’m sorry for all the drama and acting out. I will change pronto”.

Seventy percent of the times: this won’t happen (verbal or textual acknowledgment and agreement to change on her part)!

A failure to reply doesn’t mean “no”; that she refuses to bargain and comply.

A no reply on her part, simply means she’s too stubborn to concede and comply. However, it is compliance and conformity without expressing anything.

As the guy in this position, you just have to assume the sale!

Again- be decisive!

Women go bonkers over men who are decisive and know what they’re about [think: men of power, leaders, presidents, gang head honchos, etc]!

Hence, assume that she gets it, will comply and reform herself ASAP!

This is why your tone has to come off boss-like, yet unaffected and blasé.

A boss or someone of value and superiority, simply gives an order and he assumes action will be carried out upon those orders.

He doesn’t wait around and ask the subordinate if he or she will comply.

Fucks no! He assumes and owns the shit!

Therefore, you’re not expecting to get a reply from your unruly girlfriend saying, “sorry babes. I hear you. I will do whatever you say”.

You’re expecting to see action taken upon your orders, which will ultimately lead to changes…hopefully!

If for whatever reason, she doesn’t get on board by desisting from her wayward ways and actions, then you have no choice but to continue to prolong the tactical battle which I laid out for you earlier.

Here’s an alternate strategy below, which you can also employ if discernible changes don’t come about. Or you can use this alternative strategy instead of the text example above.

Give Her The False Ultimatum…Indirectly

At this critical turning point in the game, giving her a false ultimatum can work wonders for your cause (getting you GF back in line).

There are 2 ways in which you can give your girlfriend an ultimatum: the direct method and the indirect method.

Direct Ultimatums however, are inherently faulty in that they make you come off as weak. Moreover, people are liable to pull your bluff in the face of a DU.

Here’s a classic example of a Direct Ultimatum used in a situation where the relationship is plummeting due to the girlfriend’s ill-behavior, while the boyfriend wants change:

I can’t continue in this relationship if I don’t see any changes from you. Either you change from now on, or I will end this relationship at once and go look another girlfriend who values me and the relationship. So let me know what it is. You change, or I leave.

That is a direct ultimatum.

Why is it faulty?

It gives away too much. It’s too explicit and detailed.

Nothing for the imagination is left.

Look at it this way: if someone were to make a vague threat against you, in comparison to a direct threat to attack you, which threat has the potential to make you quiver more: the direct or indirect/vague threat?

Not Surprising (at least not to me): the vague threat packs the biggest punch. The obvious reason is that you can’t quite see it coming, you don’t know if it will come and how it will come. So you’re left on guard and in worry mode, unable to anticipate the possible events surrounding the vague and indirect threat.

If I tell you I’m gonna pummel your fucking face in with a baseball bat if you don’t stop checking out my girlfriend: not only will have received fore-warning of my intent, but why would I even have to say it? Why not just do it? Why put you on guard?

Thus, a direct threat isn’t taken as seriously as a vague one [think shock & awe].

Now, here is how you should’ve phrased the ultimatum (indirect/vague) cited above:

I can’t continue in this relationship if I don’t see any changes. I will have to reconsider things and weigh options. I do value the relationship but it can be better

Side note: wording will either make you or break you. The optics are everything.

Everything comes down to wording: whether you’ll be impactful or taken with a grain of salt.

Again- you want to avoid the whiny cry-baby tone at all costs.

Noticed how the 2nd example was void of whining?

It was indirect in the sense that it never explicitly stated an intent to sever the failing relationship. It only implies it…and that is what makes it so powerful.

By saying to the “girl gone bad” girlfriend, “I do value the relationship”, it gives her a glimmer of false hope which is what you should aim for.

The Indirect Ultimatum laid out above is the ideal approach if and when you decide to incorporate this strategy into your overall gameplan in getting your unruly girlfriend back in line.

This all begs the following question: “what if the girl laughs in the face of my ultimatum”?

The hidden beauty about the indirect ultimatum- 1 of the hidden beauties- is that it blunts any rebut that the girl may have.

How can she laugh in the face of a vague ultimatum and call your bluff, since you haven’t made anything explicit anyway?

She can’t!

She can only call your bluff if you directly give her an ultimatum to change or leave.

In any case, if she does call your bluff and say to you- “Well move on”- you don’t have to take her on!

She’s only looking for a reaction.

You need not react/reply defensively.

Remain cool and play it blasé!

“What if she decides to break up because of the ultimatum given”?

Call her bluff!

No: “Are you serious? I don’t believe you”.

Yes: “I hear you”.

Accept the fact that she “Claims” to want to break up.

Go along with it while maintaining the role of a boyfriend, but one who’s uncommitted and somewhat friendly instead of broodish.

Here’s the deal: whenever a girl breaks up with a guy, the girl expects the following 3 reactions from the guy:

   •Protests
   •Begging
   •Crying

When you neglect to follow the expected script, it fucks with her head.

With that, if she scoffs at your indirect ultimatum and calls for a breakup or a break anyway: you don’t protest, don’t beg and definitely don’t cry!

You accept it with coolness, with the fore-knowledge that she doesn’t mean it, and it is only a reaction to being given an ultimatum.

“So…how should I play it after that (aside from being cool)…after she’d called for a breakup or break”?

Feign aloofness!

A Dose Of ‘Aloof’ Is Your Secret Weapon

Aloofness is the kryptonite to an unruly gir(friend).

It busts through her feminine blasé like a close-range shot exploding through a ripe watermelon.

The last thing a girl expects upon hurling a threat of relationship severance at her boyfriend, is for him to take it in peace.

Doing so not only diminishes her viability as a desired woman, but it makes her question her value altogether.

I touched on this point extensively in my e-book product: “Get Your Ex Back”.

In order to get an ex-girlfriend to want to chase you, you must firstly make her question her self-worth, her value, her sexiness, etc.

You must make her self-conscious.

She must hurt before she conforms.

Acting aloof will cause her to feel a sense of insecurity…which means pain.

You aren’t hurting her outright, nor are you doing anything detrimental or harmful to her in any way.

You are merely taking a few steps back: physically, emotionally and psychologically…which engenders aloofness.

Girls do this all the time to guys, and it drives us up the wall!

They pretend to be unaffected by anything the guy does.

You want to flip the script and turn the tables on her, by becoming the one who’s unaffected and distant.

Even if she’s been distant and aloof: doesn’t frikkin’ matter! She doesn’t expect you to also Play Aloof.

Additionally, remember what I told you earlier about females experiencing emotions on a much deeper level than males do [10 times as much]?

Well- though her aloof temperament stings you (the guy). Multiply this stinging feeling tenfolds, then you’ll get a better sense of how she feels and what she feels when her boyfriend decides to withdraw affection and become aloof.

Again- she may not show it. But she’ll damn sure feel it, and she’ll cry herself to bed!

Now, here’s the catch to all of this script-flipping: it’ll only work once you’d followed the prerequisite advice that I shared with you all throughout this article.

None of this will work if your girlfriend still sees you as a wuss-bag, doormat, jelly-back, neutered specimen of a man.

You CANNOT and will NOT get your girlfriend to quit the antics unless she deems you a beacon of strength.

Now, you don’t have to be rock solid. But you can’t be sissified either.

Every tidbit of strategic advice which I imparted here- once applied to your situation- will inherently and simultaneously raise your stock from a sappy lad to an empowered man.

Once you’re able to create that new impression, Going Aloof will be your secret weapon to getting conformity over time.

“When should I put the aloofness aside and begin to re-engage her as before”?

Great question I would imagine to which every guy wants to know the answer.

Every situation is different. And since she is your girlfriend, only you would’ve been in the best position to gauge timing properly.

Generally though, I would advise those who seek my assistance, to work the aloofness angle for about a week.

This entails a physical and psychological step back from communication.

   •If you’re accustomed to sending her a 50 words message; shorten that significantly.

   •If you’re accustomed to sending 10 text messages daily; reduce it to 2.

You want to give the impression that your time is somewhat taken up with other endeavors…or with someone else. 😉

Another way to feign aloofness is by shortening your replies to her messages (that’s if she texts you at all).

Come off a bit uninterested and distant, but not totally dismissive.

Girlfriend: I’m going out with friends later so don’t annoying me with any stupid argument and stupid texts or I will flat-out ignore you.

Wrong approach below (via text):

Boyfriend: Why are you going out with friends when we talked about this being a problem since you go out with them 3 nights a week and we don’t get any time to go out together. Your friends seem more important than our relationship. I love you. And I want to take you out instead. Think about it babes. I love you

Correct approach below (via text):

Boyfriend: I was thinking about going out with the boys too. Enjoy

That’s it!

Short, sweet and simple!

Which of the 2 reactions/texts above was she anticipating out of custom?

The first of course: the soppy, whiny, beggy, supplicating text.

That’s what she’s accustomed to (from you) because that’s what you’ve been giving her as of late…which helps to bolster up her decision to become unruly and rebellious.

By acting aloof through means of using the 2nd. example given, you manage to achieve 3 significant things:

1.) You throw her off

2.) You make her worried

3.). You garner respect

This all ties into the nifty strategy I taught you previously about breaking patterns and being unpredictable.

Everything works hand-in-hand.

Hence, this is an easily employable method overall.

If all fails and the ship ultimately capsizes- meaning, the girlfriend decides to dump you anyway- I recommend that you purchase the most tactical, comprehensive and no-bullshit guide on the internet for getting an ex-girlfriend crawling back on her hands and knees.

   •“Get Your Ex Back”

I put a lot into this e-product, included personal and detailed examples and accounts from past and current relationships, outlining how I was able to get my ex and my current girlfriend, begging for another chance…though they were the ones who walked out on the relationship.

There’s also a phone-coaching package [most affordable in the pick-up industry] hosted through Skype, for those of you who prefer to hammer out your relationship issues in a more direct way, with me as a virtual wingman.

Get your half hour or hour-long session with Kenny the Pick-Up Artist…through Skype

“What To Do When My Girlfriend Blatantly Tests Me And Acts Out”?


When a girl takes you for granted, you’re required to act and act accordingly- not to the classical script of chasing the girl- but by doing the opposite in giving her space as a way to regain balance.

I get asked a lot by guys who seek my expertise in getting their girlfriend back, “What do I do when my girlfriend disrespects me on a fairly regular basis”?

Before I get into the meat of the article, I just want to firstly clear the air on my relationship status and situation for those who may not be privy to it.

I am in a relationship and have been almost 7 years now.

It’s a weird relationship in a sense in that it isn’t a traditional relationship: then again it is…with a twist.

Confused yet?

I bet!

I structured my relationship in such a way that allows me freedom to continue to game and date other women.

It isn’t an open relationship per se since my girlfriend doesn’t have the proverbial green light to see other men (not that I restricted her, but she claims that she prefers to only see me).

On my end, it is somewhat an open relationship though I don’t term it that.

In any case, based on the proverbial and verbal agreement made between my girlfriend and me, I am allowed to meet and see others but not date them.

My girlfriend isn’t allowed to see other men at all. But as I said previously, it is/was her decision at the bargaining table to decide that she didn’t want to have that liberty to see other men. However, she would respect my views and grant me allowance to see other chicks if I wanted to.

Following me?

Here is the thing also, when I first met my current girlfriend back in November 2009, I was already an advanced PUA at the top of my game.

I wrote an article a while back detailing my exploits from 2009 where I spoke about that year (prior to meeting my GF) being the year in which I slept with the most women on record (and to date).

Having met my girlfriend, I felt that she had purposely schemed to fuck up my pick-up career by trying to trap me in a monogamous, one-on-one relationship.

This is the modus operandi of every girl for that matter. When she meets a guy she fancies, she will try to corral him like a crab into a cage in order to keep him for herself.

“To Corral” is actually me being nice here. What she would attempt to do in actuality is to trick the guy into being with her exclusively: “To Trick” being the operative verb here.

Most guys just haplessly allow themselves to be tricked into exclusivity by the would-be girlfriend, simply because they (the guys) are now getting some pussy, and they could care less about the freedoms they would have to relinquish in exchange for this pussy.

All they want is to continue fucking this novel pussy! And if this means a cessation to going out, seeing other women, hanging with friends and becoming exclusive with the girl: most guys wouldn’t mine.

This is why majority of guys get into new relationships while making the mistake to desist from talking to other girls, going out, hanging with the boys, etc.

Guys just want to get laid at any expense.

The woman’s angle on the other hand is a very different one.

Sex isn’t her motivation.

Locking you down is.

She wants to keep you away from other men.

That’s it! And in all fairness, that is the consequence of a traditional relationship: you want to keep the girl away from other men, and she likewise wants to keep you away from other women.

It is all a survival and mating strategy.

However, women are very crafty and cunning about achieving this end (locking you down).

Naturally having ulterior motives of having her cake and eating it too, the girl will seek to lock/trap the guy into an exclusive relationship while often times leaving her options open when the guy would have already given up all of his options as a way to show commitment to the girl and to the newly hatched relationship…which he was sort of tricked into in the first place.

Thus, the new boyfriend has zero ulterior motives besides getting steady sex from his new girlfriend. I mean, this is expected (sex in a relationship). So not much of an ulterior motive there on the guy’s part.

The new girlfriend however has tons of ulterior motives and tricks on the front and back burners. One notably is: She won’t give up her options. She will remain friends (and even have a fuck-buddy for some time) with all of her orbiter-males who are lingering around, awaiting their moment to fuck her.

Again- guy comes into new relationship with a clean slate, clear conscience, and nothing to hide.

Girl enters new relationship (of which she’s the chief architecture) with tons of secrets, fuzzy relations and hidden agendas, for instance: social mobility, monetary gains, attempts to make her ex jealous, etc.

Also, she is likely to be sleeping with another guy whom she was sleeping with before she met you.

This other guy in most cases is an ex of hers.

Read a stunning article I wrote a while back about the sexual grace period:

https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2013/04/15/the-sexual-grace-period-what-you-must-know-about-new-relationships/

The article touches on a not-widely known phenomenon or occurrence of how women often get into new relationships while continuing to sleep with the guy whom she was sleeping with before getting intimate with you, upwards of 6 months into her new relationship.

Therefore, whenever a girl gets into a new relationship, she often brings along baggages of unresolved relationships. Meanwhile, the guy comes in with nothing to hide, and hasn’t been sleeping with a prior girl or anything of that sort.

Now, how does this all relate to my weird relationship and getting a girl back in line?

As expected- though I wasn’t privy to this at that time- my girlfriend managed to coax me into a relationship that I didn’t want.

When I first met her back in 2009, after we became intimate and hooked up a time or 2, she began to sneakily pry into my personal activities, questioning why I had the scent of cigarette on my breath which she sensed when I made out with her 1 night.

Remind you; we were NOT together! Not even close! We had barely known each other even for a week good.

She had no right to inquire about my activities at all!

Hence, I felt annoyed at her prying. And since I wasn’t beholden to her to any degree, I didn’t feel a need to hide anything either, so I did tell her that I was hooking up with 3 other girls at the time, with her being the 4th.

With the cigarette-smoke scent in my mouth incident, what happened was that I just came from hooking up with 1 of the other 3 girls (we obviously made out during sex), and she happened to be a smoker of tobacco so the scent was left in my mouth…which I wasn’t aware of.

Anywho, my soon-to-be girlfriend at that time was showing all the signs of a girl who was attempting to handcuff and force me into a relationship that I didn’t want.

I wanted to remain single and take my PUA career to an even more extreme level than it already was in 2009…which was EXTREME as I was sleeping with about 2 to 3 new girls per week…for months on end during 2009!

I was not about to have my pick-up career ruined by a traditional relationship!

She met me while I was a pick-up artist. I actually cold-approached her in a supermarket and picked her up while field testing a brand-new PUA opener and routine which I came across on my favorite PUA website in those years, the seduction tuition website.

Moreover, days after I picked her up, I told her about pick-up, our secretive community, and I even told her that I used PUA tactics in order to pick her up (by which she was intrigued).

I was totally transparent about everything, especially pickup since I was so passionate about it. So I made sure to relate to her as bluntly as possible that I do NOT intend to be with 1 girl!

She accepted my position of being adamant about remaining a pick-up artist who’s single. Not that she had a choice or leverage to transparently sway me either way.

As time went by and the weeks ticked on while we continued to hook up, her prying and inquiries became more subtle, more sneaky and more cunning.

They weren’t as transparent, so I wasn’t able to see nor catch them as they came in like stealth-fighter plans.

Over time, and overnight, I found myself bogged down in the relationship zone in which I had no desire of being.

However, as I mentioned earlier as a form of caution, women will often scheme their way into exclusivity with a guy whom they’re into.

Next day, the guy wakes up not knowing what happened to him, or how did he even land himself in a relationship without firstly talking about it.

You see, men are very practical creatures. We see things in black and white.

We expect that such a decision as an exclusive relationship should be talked out and treated like a joint-business venture…which it is technically.

Women on the other hand, being impractical while dealing with the sexes, see things on an emotional level.

Her emotions tell her that this is right, and she proceeds.

With us men, we can give a rat’s ass about feelings and emotions when it comes to decision making.

We try our best to use our rational faculties in order to decide our next move; especially in matters of the sexes.

For instance; a woman will marry based on raw emotions alone. She just feels good! Her emotions tell her it’s the right move, whether she just met this guy 2 months ago and marriage would likely have been premature! She doesn’t care!

Men don’t operate that way…even the desperate ones.

Notwithstanding those factors just mentioned, men will not argue and protest the fact that they were bamboozled into a relationship without firstly discussing the pros and cons in a practical manner.

How so, and why wouldn’t men protest such a move [waking up in a premature and sudden relationship without due diligence]?

Sex, Sex, Sex! Just as I mentioned earlier: men just want to fuck!

Having a girlfriend means steady sex!

The average guy [96% of them] for that matter, hardly gets laid. So when you take a guy who hasn’t been laid in 2 years, and then he finally gets lucky with a girl, regardless of her attraction level, this sex-deprived guy is not about to entertain the idea of playing things safe and protesting the fact that he was coaxed into a relationship so suddenly.

He’s faced with 2 options:

1.) Go back to a life of no sex

2.) Grab the opportunity to have sex numerous times a day with a girlfriend

Which will he choose?

The answer is obvious: the choice which will have enabled him to get sex on a regularly basis…the relationship route.

Sex or no sex?

The guy wants sex, so he will give away all of his freedoms and rights and cede power to the female involved, essentially allowing her to run and control the relationship, just as long as his cock gets some action inside of his new girlfriend’s pussy.

With such turn of events, the woman then slyly smiles inwardly over her feat, as she had managed to corral a new prey into her cage.

She wins!

She wants power! He wants sex regularly!

Both parties get their desires met.

Back in December 2009, I found myself in a similar situation as the vast majority of men will have undergone at various points within their dating life: I woke up 1 day to the realization that I was no longer free to game and fuck other girls without hearing it from my girlfriend.

It was so surreal that I didn’t even consider her my girlfriend, nor did I address her as that.

I thought that I was single, but she kept treating me as though we were a couple…which we were technically though she managed to coax me into the relationship.

It gradually became a struggle: she wanted access to my phone, wanted to know whom else was I communicating with, where was I going, why was I going out tonight, was I still fucking the girl who left the cigarette scent in my mouth, etc.

These tactics of hers weren’t done blatantly nor with ill-manners.

She was coy and somewhat pleasant about the way in which she went about keeping tabs on me and inquiries.

She was so skillful that I didn’t find myself upset at her for snooping.

Most girls are blessed with this tactfulness.

Think about the Adam and Eve story if you subscribe to the Biblical accounts.

Eve was fucking cunning and tricky!

She was the one responsible for Adam’s so-called fall from the grace of God.

Fiction or not, and though I have major issues and qualms with the Biblical accounts and their credibility [I am an Agnostic], I do buy into the underlying theme of the Adam & Eve story as far as Eve convincing Adam to partake of the so-called forbidden tree or fruit.

What that basically hints at, is the female’s cunning nature and her innate tendency to trick men in order to achieve her overall aim.

Women in relationships are akin to Eve, the cunning and persuasive agent.

Just as Eve mislead Adam into giving up his power, a 21st Century female in the context of a relationship, will also plot and plan ways in which to usurp the guy’s power or to coyly strip him of his position of power within the relationship.

Now, I know that the previous declarations are likely to be regarded as inflammatory and even sexist- specifically by women- but I don’t know how anyone who really sits down and studies this would leave under the impression that women aren’t actually playing a game of tug-of-war in relationships in order to wrestle away power from the man involved.

A neo-traditional relationship like what we see today in this part of the world, is a woman’s domain.

Relationship is her baby!

It is where she wields the most leverage and has the most power.

This is partially why women cannot stay single for any drawn-out period of time.

She has no power over anyone while being single…unless she has kids in whom to control and dictate.

Within the confines of a monogamous relationship; she feels a sense of power.

Allow me to be clear here: by “Power”, I don’t necessarily mean to give the impression of commands being thrown arbitrarily here and there by the girlfriend ruling with an iron fist.

By power and control, I mean that the girlfriend will have liked to be the one calling the shots, picking where to eat dinner, expecting to be pampered, rationing out sex at the times which she feels sex should happen, having her way, etc.

It is “Subtle” control since women are very subtle and passive creatures by nature.

Anyway, so a few months into my new relationship, though I hadn’t desist from gaming and fucking other girls, and I was still going clubbing every weekend, doing my own thing as though I were single, I would have to contend with her on certain matters concerning my whereabouts and so forth (though we didn’t lived together).

As time went on, I became frustrated that I wasn’t able to freely do pickup without having to hear it from the girlfriend.

It eventually reached a tipping point after I felt that I was becoming her little bitch, powerless, neutered and almost tamed to incapacity.

That led to massive fighting and a power struggle.

Most guys wouldn’t give a fuck as I cited earlier.

They just want to get laid! To hell with their dignity, pride, manhood and power! As long as they’re getting pussy, the woman can run the show however she desires!

My yearning however, for continued freedom to sleep around freely, was stronger than my desire for sex, or sex with my girlfriend.

Here’s a little caveat: sex, or lack thereof, was not an issue of mines.

I was a frikkin’ advanced pick-up artist who possibly slept with more than 120 women in 2009 alone!

I was NOT lacking sex! And because I had options with other women, it made me realize that I had a lot of bargaining power to play with. 😈

Therefore, my girlfriend could not have tried to hold me hostage with the lure of pussy or sex on a regular basis since I was able to get sex from numerous quarters if I had to…as a seasoned PUA.

On a side note; this is why you must always accrue options by having other girls in your life, because doing so will keep you sane for starters, and it will also keep your girlfriend honest.

She will think twice of wantonly fucking you over once she knows to herself that you can dump her ass today for a hotter and younger girl.

Lacking this (options with women), gives your girlfriend all the ammo she needs to continue to fuck you over, play mind games, be unruly and fight for control of the relationship.

Moreover, without another girl to fuck, you as a guy will NOT entertain the idea of playing hardball with your girlfriend just because the relationship isn’t equitable and fair for you.

Of course you will accept her shit and stay in the imbalance relationship!

You have no choice! You have no other pussy options!

Being that I had pussy options, it gave me leverage to not only dump my girlfriend, but to do so in style.

However, I chose not to dump her after the constant fights and warring over relationship power and my freedom to remain a PUA.

What did I do instead?

I stayed in the relationship while blatantly fucking other girls.

In essence, I was saying to her: “if you don’t come to the bargaining table and concede to my demands, I will just continue to bang other girls without any regard. If you dump me; oh well! No big deal! I’m a PUA and I can always replace you in a heartbeat”!

I never said those things to her. But my sub-communication, non-verbal cues and vibe said so clearly!

Not wanting to dump me because she knew I was a guy with options, she eventually dragged herself to the bargaining table to work things out.

My demand(s) was pretty simple and straightforward as it was from day 1: “I am a PUA. I’ve been a PUA way before I met you and I will remain one until I cannot go any longer. So, this means you must accept the fact that I will continue to pick up other women, not for relationship purposes, and not even for sexual reasons, but to hone my skills and to eventually teach guys this art. And quite frankly; I enjoy picking up women. You either accept those terms or we break up…and I’m cool either way. I also can’t guarantee that I won’t sleep with other women. That will happen”.

She hesitantly accepted the terms of the relationship and it’s been happy ever after.

Just kidding!

As with every relationship, though mines is very different, it still carries with it the traditional issues of every relationship: arguments, conflicts, ups and downs, etc.

The key variant here is that I enjoy a relationship which suits my lifestyle.

It didn’t sit well with me that I was gradually becoming my girlfriend’s bitch.

Here is where the article addresses common relationship questions that guys may have, such as ingratitude and ungratefulness on the part of their girlfriend.

Men generally want to know if it’s a form of a test whenever their significant other acts out and gets ill-mannered.

The answer is yes and no.

Her acting out can just be that: a test.

However, it can also be a sign of disinterest in furthering this relationship.

Here is the deal when it comes to women and power in a relationship (the dichotomy): a woman will do everything within her power (scheme, plot and plan) to gain control of the relationship.

When she does get that control, largely because men hand it to her, she won’t quite know how to process or manage it so she becomes discontented.

In conjunction with that discontent, she begins to feel as though she’s dating a weaker person than she is, hence she loses interest and begins to act out.

News flash: women don’t want to be with men whom they can control, nor do they truly want a partner whom they deem as equal. But that’s an argument for another article.

Anyway, so once you have done your assessments and come to the conclusion that your girlfriend is testing you and pushing you by acting out and showing a lack of respect for you and the relationship by extension, you can’t just sit there like a doormat and endure the bullshit ’till eternity.

Nights ago, my girlfriend had done and said some things which really pissed me off as they were disrespectful and showed a lack of regards for me and the relationship.

After some bouts of argument, I suggested she apologize or else I’m gone…for good.

I didn’t say this directly (the “I’m gone” part), simply because women will often call your bluff whenever you hurl direct threats at them.

You want to instead give her the impression that you will reconsider whether you want to stay in the relationship or leave.

“Impression”! Not blatant verbalization!

What had happened with my girlfriend, and this may seem trivial to you, I was to return her laptop to her home; a laptop which I’d borrowed to do some video-editing work for a pick-up tutorial video (my computer couldn’t handle the demand) which should have been published to Youtube days ago.

I didn’t get to complete my video because the laptop battery died and my girlfriend had forgotten to put its charger in the laptop bag.

Anyway, so I felt that I was working against time here in the form of a deadline.

There it was- I was trying to edit and post this video to my Youtube channel by Saturday- it was now Wednesday (Feb. 17th, 2016) and I’m yet to fucking complete the video, let alone post it because the laptop needed to be charged and my girlfriend had the charger at her place.

I went all the way over to her home which is on the other side of town: but she wasn’t home!

Goddamn it! At least have the fucking decency to tell me ahead of time that you won’t be home!

She knew that I was hustling to come by her for the laptop charger, but neglected to tell me that she was to leave and return.

I then waited outside in the yard for her to return with the keys.

Remind you: though I was desperate as fuck to get the charger in order to complete my project, I never told her to stop what she was doing just to bring me the key to her house so I can retrieve the charger.

She insisted on doing so…so I waited on her.

Ten minutes elapsed.

Twenty minutes.

Thirty minutes.

Thirty-five minutes and she hadn’t returned.

Now I was fuming with steam bursting out of both ears!

I felt that my time was blatantly being wasted and disregarded!

A 10 minute trek back to her house has now turned into 40 minutes while I waited around in the yard like a tool.

I eventually left before she returned.

This all led to a massive argument Wednesday night.

Note: disagreements happen. It’s expected. But unapologetically pushing buttons just to get a reaction or to provoke a test is a whole different ballgame.

All women test. But does that mean every guy should just roll over and allow his girlfriend to just push his buttons like a toy?

I don’t play that!

On that note, I decided to play hardball and give her some space.

Is this a classic PUA freeze-out tactic?

Not quite. I am not exactly freezing her out (cutting all contact). I am withdrawing any form of affection, attention, intimacy, sex, etc.

I’m essentially going cold as punishment.

I find this to be an effective way to get a girl back in line. It works with my girlfriend.

Here is the thing: women often pull this shit on guys and get away with it.

When a girl is upset with something her boyfriend might have done or said, she locks off her emotions, affections and withhold sex from him as a way to punish him.

Guys rarely ever have the balls to do this to their girlfriend because of:

1.) Fear that the girlfriend might go and cheat as a result

2.) The fact that he won’t be getting sex as a result of withholding sex from his girlfriend

A guy like myself on the other hand, who has options, and doesn’t need to rely on my girlfriend for sexual pleasure, I can afford to withhold sex from her in order to get her back in line.

Are these tricks and games?

Sure they are!

Women play them. Why shouldn’t men?

This is actually what messes up most guys. We come into relationships under the impression that games are now over.

For men, we do cut the games while the relationship enters the frame of official and exclusive.

Women on the other hand, they triple down on the games in order to gain control in the relationship.

Saying that to say, merely voicing your discontent with something you girlfriend had done or said, isn’t enough to get her back in line.

You must take action in order to punish her (such as withholding sex from her).

She may very well believe that you are fucking some other girl by going cold on her with the intimacy. But so what!

Let her own mind torture her a bit until she conforms and apologizes.

At the end of the day, a woman will only truly conform and quit the games when she realizes that you have options and that she isn’t indisposable.

You don’t actually have to go out there and fuck tons of girls just to prove the point that you have options.

Your vibe and actions alone will do the job for you.

Withhold sex from her as she does with you!

Go cold on her!

Withhold affection and intimacy. Just treat her as if you 2 weren’t together or are just non-intimate acquaintances.

If she goes out and fuck some other guy because of this, it means that she wasn’t going to be faithful anyway (or hasn’t), so she had only managed to show her true colors, now you have all rights to move the hell on.

If she doesn’t go running into another guy’s arm as a result; then you know she’s a keeper, but she just needs to get her reality shattered a bit in order to get back in line and to treat the relationship as though it’s an equitable venture and not a power struggle.

Why Breakups Are Harder For Men + Investment As The Key To A Lasting Relationship For Men


A relationship, pickup and dating opinionist buddy of mines had posted the following status to Facebook.

image

The meat of this article will deal with point #1 of my buddy’s post: Investment, and why breaking up is harder for men and easier for women to manage.

Contrary to popular belief: breaking up hits harder for men than women.

Why is this?

Investment.

Men invest way more into a relationship, from the courtship phase down to the breakup and attempts at salvaging things, than women do.

In fact: women hardly invest anything into a relationship apart from the emotional aspects which aren’t conducive to the relationship in the first place.

Moreover, her role is almost always a passive one, while the boyfriend’s role is almost always an active one.

Need some typical examples of a guy’s proactive role?

*Guy spots girl

*Guy approaches girl

*Guy has to start conversation

*Guy begins courting process

*Guy gets her contact info [phone #]

*Guy has to be the first to text or phone

*Guy has to make conversation and carry it most times

*Guy has to convince girl that he’s worthy of her and her time

*Guy has to suggest date

*Guy has to plan date logistics

*Guy pays on date [monetary investments]

*Guy buys stuff for girl as a way to solidify his fondness for her

*Guy makes further monetary investments and installments

*Guy has to do further convincing

Now, all that occurs within the pre-relationship phase.

From the onset of the relationship if it were to ever materialize, the guy is expected to invest further and consistently in the form of monetary, financial and physical investments.

Need examples?

Girlfriend needs her hair done? Boyfriend is expected to cough up the cash.

She needs shoes, new wardrobe and so forth: the boyfriend is expected to foot the bill on such items.

If they happen to live together: boyfriend is expected to provide for groceries [$$$] and do all of the maintenance work around the house [physical investments].

If the girl happens to cook, then that is 1 positive-physical contribution that she brings to the table.

When you really crunch the numbers, it becomes abundantly clear that men are doing the bulk investments within the relationship.

This is no secret by the way.

It is just so common that it often goes unnoticed.

With all this investment into the courtship and relationship on the guy’s part, he stands to have the most to lose.

This is crystal clear.

If [and when] the relationship crumbles [often by the woman’s doing], the man involved loses all of his investments and cannot get a thing back!

All the dates he took her out on while paying for everything; he cannot be compensated for, and will not be compensated for those monies spent.

The jewelry bought, clothes purchased for his girlfriend, movie tickets, etc. will all go un-compensated in the end.

You’re talking about thousands upon thousands of dollars throughout the years pumped into a relationship!

This in a sense creates a tricky situation where the guy is bound and tied to the relationship since he had invested so much, he isn’t poised to just cut his loses and go.

What has a woman on the other hand invested?

Hardly anything!

Hence, she can afford to just cut and run without looking back!

She stands to lose nothing- nada!

The boyfriend on the other hand, would have been way more willing to work things out and to come to an amicable solution in hopes to keep the relationship afloat- because as I stated earlier- he has much to lose if things collapse!

You can look at it like a business investment or some sort of capital venture.

No entrepreneur or business owner will just allow his enterprise to collapse without exhausting every possible measure in hopes to salvage it before scrapping it.

That business owner will in fact pump way more into his or her struggling business as it reaches life-support stages.

Likewise with a man in a relationship. He will double and triple down as things worsen, just as the business owner will invest more capital prior to inevitable collapse and bankruptcy as a last-ditch effort to resuscitate and save it.

You’ll have the typical case where the boyfriend who’s about to be dumped, not wanting to face such embarrassing and ego-bruising situation, starts to buy more!

He may even surprise his soon-to-be ex with a new engagement ring in order that she stays with the promise of marriage.

The more the relationship fails and the faster it disintegrates, the more the guy spends and wastes hard-earned money trying to convince his girlfriend to stay with him.

This is a very common occurrence in the 21st Century!

With that, you have a case where the man in the relationship was the sole investor during courtship, the sole or primary investor during the so-called good times of the relationship, then as failure looms, the guy again becomes the sole investor by doubling and tripling-down on the gifts, luxuries, monies, dates and promises.

His emotional investments also triple!

Meanwhile, what is the girlfriend doing throughout all this as the joint-venture [a relationship] fails?

Absolutely NOTHING!

She isn’t buying!

She isn’t spending!

She isn’t trying!

She isn’t investing!

She’s playing the same passive role that she’s been accustomed to from the get-go.

She won’t do a thing to save the relationship! She will gingerly sit by and watch things descend rapidly like a fighter-jet shot down from the skies!

Technically, since she’s likely the one who had instigated and accelerated a relationship collapse, why would she try to salvage it?

She’ll simply cry about it then go fuck another dude who’s been providing a shoulder for her to cry on.

Haven’t invested a thing, there is nothing binding her to want to make it work.

This is also why women in relationships take way more risks, cheat more, and operate recklessly by taking stupid chances at times.

She doesn’t care much to jeopardize things since she was NOT nearly a mutual contributor in the relationship to begin with!

The one who invested more, has more to lose…and that is never the woman but in rare cases.

With nothing invested, meager contributions via a meal cooked here and there, it becomes a lot easier to see how and why a girl can cheat on a guy and not care to go to great lengths to cover her tracks like a so-called cheating man would.

The rebound effect is also heavily on the side of women.

If she gets dumped, or more often the case, she breaks up with the boyfriend, she can always get rebound dick within no time!

Hence, there won’t be a case to where she misses the sex with you…unless you’re awesome in bed by doing things which I told you about some years ago [ Fuck her like an animal ].

Barring that, she won’t miss the sex with you, neither will she miss sex at all since there are always tons of sex opportunities knocking at her proverbial door.

Men on the other hand- generally- will miss the sex, whether it was shitty or splendid!

This disparity all goes back to options again. Men in general lack options in women!

The average guy cannot just dump his girlfriend and get a hottie to fuck the next day.

After a breakup, a guy usually goes into shit mode where he either drinks away his sorrow or turn to video games for solace.

There is hardly ever any rebound chick at his disposal!

Upon breakup, haven’t invested much or anything at all, a girl [though she was likely the one to severe things], will shed a tear or 2 simply because she’s an emotional and sentimental creature.

However, within no time- and by “no time”- I mean a week or less, her girlfriends will have dragged her out to the club, introduced her to some hot guy friends of theirs, get hammered and fuck that new guy either after the club or a few days later at some social-circle get-together.

She may even get fucked in an orgy as her initiation into that social group of partiers.

That may occur about 40% of the time.

The majority cases [60%] will have gone down like this: upon breakup, girl was already hooking up with another guy anyway, so she will gingerly jump into his lap wholeheartedly and embark upon a new relationship.

If she wasn’t screwing another guy behind her boyfriend’s back; upon breakup, she will have likely had dozens of guys in the loop [orbiters, etc] who are all vying for her attention and vagina.

Nevertheless, a woman has all of the support systems upon breakup. She has family, girlfriends, male friends and guys who are willing to dish out money and time just to get laid.

A man on the other hand- upon breakup- hardly ever has it set up that easily.

There are no girls, female friends nor possible lover waiting to lift him up, boost his morale or to spend money on him.

He’s left out to dry!

Not only will he NOT be getting laid anytime soon, but his confidence will have been sapped as a result.

In any event, this all begs the question: “how do you prevent this”?

How to prevent a situation where investment doesn’t come back to bite the guy in the ass?

In pickup, we encourage and teach investment, but in the sense of having the girl(friend) invest!

We teach this from the moment a guy approaches a girl to chat her up.

He should get the girl to invest into the conversation instead of having her play a totally passive role!

This [getting the girl to invest] can be done in numerous ways.

Have her buy you a drink instead of you buying her a drink!

Take turns buying rounds if this is a girl whom you’d approached at the bar or nightclub!

Tell her you’ll buy her a cocktail now and she should grab you the next drink!

Though you as the guy should do majority of the talking, allow the girl to invest also by asking her stimulating questions and baiting her into contributing by strategically going silent.

Those are just some tidbits on how to get a girl to pitch in some investments.

As things progress- let us say that things get serious to where a monogamous relationship is hatched- getting your girlfriend to invest should be a steady activity.

On dates: get her to go Dutch sometimes!

Get her to pay for everything at other times and you alternate on future dates.

You pay for drinks and she foots the bill on food…or vice versa.

Get her to cook and do laundry for you sometimes!

Instead of you grabbing her lunch to take to her workplace, have her grab you lunch and bring it to your workplace.

Have her contribute monetarily and physically in the relationship!

If you 2 live separately: have her come over to your place half of the time [or more] instead of going by her apartment.

Make her physically invest by having her get her ass off the sofa, call a cab, get dress and head over to your place!

Better yet if she has to walk!

What usually happens is the guy does everything as far as he would be the one to visit and spend a night in most cases.

Hence, the girl gets to play a passive role while the guy volunteers to take the active role.

On a further note, if you’re the one doing most of the calling and texting- you being the guy- make her invest [more] by having her do the bulk of those things.

These little things which seem insignificant to you, will actually add up towards saving your relationship.

The net effect is that you will have created a balanced situation to where both parties contribute equally [or have her contribute more]…the way women say it should be, but they never actually live up to that mutual role.

Now that you have your girlfriend being an equal contributor and investor within the joint venture [i.e. relationship], if things do go South [and they often do], you- the guy- won’t be the only investor trying to keep afloat the enterprise in order to salvage time and capital wasted.

Since the girlfriend had contributed also; she too will be compelled to have to attempt to resuscitate the struggling business [the relationship] rather than bailing into a new-business venture [the arms of another guy] and leaving you [the ex-flame] stuck with all the debts, worries and headaches.

Had she contributed nothing, it takes nothing for her to let the relationship fail while she prances off into the arms of the new guy.

Had she invested, she would think thrice before cutting-and-running since she had invested too much into the relationship to just allow it to fail without a fight [by trying to work things out and fixing her shortcomings].

On a personal note: I’ve been through this with my girlfriend.

As is the case with most boyfriends, I too was the sole or main contributor from the start.

Our relationship disintegrated to life-support levels, with myself putting everything into it trying to salvage things.

Due to pick-up artistry, I was able to flip the script and make her chase me.

We resumed the relationship but under a new norm: equal investment on both ends!

I didn’t tell her in those terms. But I made it abundantly clear that things will be different from now on!

Since then, I began giving less of a fuck, provide less, invest way less, give less money, more stingy with my resources and cash, see her less, less sex, etc.

I used to go by her place 9 in 10 times. It end up being that she would now come by me 8 in 10 times.

A complete reversal!

I used to take her out on dinner dates. I do that no more [this has been over the past 4 years]. She either takes me out or we don’t go out at all.

My investments have been reduced from about a whopping 99% to 20% today.

She wants new shoes?

I give her half!

She will have to come up with the other half on her own…meaning- use her own money!

In retrospect, I was always one of those good guys who felt that it was less of a man to ever ask a woman for anything [but sex]. You know: those so-called “nice guys” who feel it is unethical and un-manly to ask women for things.

Nowadays within my relationship, I ask my girlfriend to buy me shit!

I do the same to her what she [women] does to me [men].

Me: “Hey babes, I need some work shoes”.

Me: “Bring me some lunch. I’m starving”.

Me: “I want you to cook for me tonight. Tired of eating fast-food”.

Me: “I need to borrow 50 bucks”.

Investment, investment, investment!

Get your girlfriend to invest money, resources, time and energy in you and into the relationship!

My girlfriend often complains that I don’t give her money regularly, and that all of her girlfriends have their boyfriends give them loads of cash to enjoy themselves on the weekends.

I say, “Tough luck babes”!

Those “boyfriends” of her BFF’s are likely Beta and Omega Male wuss-bags who know nothing about the tendencies of women.

All of her girlfriends are likely fucking some other dude(s) behind their provider-type Beta boyfriends backs.

Hence, I tightly ration money to my girlfriend.

I get from her twice as much as she gets out of me.

If I give her $100 for new shoes. I get $150 from her for travel expenses or some other necessity.

My girlfriend also sparingly makes comments about how her coworker’s boyfriends and husbands bring lunch for them every noonday.

Cool!

Fine!

I would say to my girlfriend, “Let’s see 1 year from now if they will still be together”.

I said that 4 years ago, and a year later, 3/4th of those girls who she works with, had already dumped their boyfriends…the same “good” boyfriends who were bringing them lunch every day.

My girlfriend definitely doesn’t understand the “Investment Disparity”, just as 99.9% of you reading this article, had not known about this, why it is so, and the implications in relation to cheating and breaking up.

To my girlfriend, I seem somewhat of a psychic or sage with clairvoyant abilities who can foretell which couples will last and which ones won’t last 6 months.

The thing is, once you spoil a woman by giving her what she wants, when she wants- as great as that sounds- she will NOT respect the guy who spoils and pampers her!

She will take him for granted, become ungrateful, get bored to death by his niceties, then dump him for some asshole badboy who wouldn’t give her a dime to buy a mint if her breath was badly in need of it!

Do you know how the average Jane rewards a guy for spoiling her and becoming her provider?

She fucks other guys behind his back.

Shit- she will even spend your money on another guy whom she’s screwing.

I’ve been there done that: been on both ends of the spectrum.

I been the boyfriend who lauded his girlfriend with gifts and tons of fruit baskets on a regular basis while she worked through the day.

I also been the guy on the side who was eating those fruits handed to me by a cheating girlfriend. 😈

With all that being said, if you want to avoid being used and dumped by your girlfriend; invest way less!

Have her do the bulk of the investment!

When thing go bad, she won’t be so quick to haul ass!

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