You Don’t Have To Lie To Women!
A while back, I wrote an extensive article making a distinction between players (so-called naturals) and pick-up artists.
What separates both camps is 1 factor:
PUA’s are taught to be forthcoming and transparent with the women in whom they deal with.
Your stereotypical player aka natural, doesn’t have that code within his game, hence his game is based on lying to numerous women in order to cover his ass.
That is the difference between your stereotypical player and a PUA.
Today, I severed ties with a long-time friend of mines, of a friendship which dates back to the early 90’s as a kid in New York City.
By definition: he is what we PUA’s would dub a “Natural” [or a player]: someone who grew to become good with women by osmosis, and without artificial means of learning such as books, videos, coaching, classes, etc. as we PUA’s have.
My friend being a natural with women, was accustomed to having a new girl in his bed every other week of the year.
Whenever he visits me here in the Caribbean (bi-yearly), he would tote along with him a new-hot girl each visit.
Unbeknownst to me: he was married all the while!
I had no idea that this buddy of mines was married.
Be as it may, as a womanizer myself; I don’t judge, nor am I opposed to the idea of married men shagging other chicks on the side.
Anyway, so all was well…up until 2 days ago when he had contacted me on Facebook in a tone that was very aggressive.
“Hey Kenny, what the fuck were you thinking when you posted those pics of me and those girls to your profile!? Yo my fucking ex-wife seen those pictures with me and the girl on the beach and she’s upset as hell and causing me problems right now. I’m so fucking pissed at you right now. Take those pictures down and delete them right now from Facebook! Don’t post any more shit with me in there”. Thank you”!
Talk about shocked! 😯
I was dumbfounded when I read the inbox message from my long-time friend and fellow ladies man.
I couldn’t believe it!
Not only did I NOT know he had an ex-wife, but I didn’t even know the buffoon was married in the 1st place!
Aside from that, his tone, language and demands aggravated the fuck out of me! 😡 😡
You’re demanding that I delete photos from my own Facebook…photos taken with my camera…photos that I own!?
You’re essentially telling me how to manage my fucking Facebook: what to put, what to delete, what to upload, what to post, etc!?
Who the hell gives you that authority my man!?
Ok, so to fill you in on what happened, a year or 2 ago, he visited me here in the islands accompanied by a Puerto Rican chick from the New England area.
As customarily the case, we took a plethora of pictures of various sites, tours, events and so forth.
One such photo was that of him and the girl on the beach as they posed for my camera.
This was taken about 2-3 years ago.
I don’t understand what he thought the photos were meant for except to be posted online, i.e. Facebook.
Anyway, all was frikkin’ well!
Some weeks ago, while browsing through the stored files on my media card, I noticed that I still had a photo of my buddy and the Puerto Rican girls which wasn’t uploaded to my Facebook…so I uploaded it and tagged the guy: “Hey D, do you remember this photo”?
Weeks went by without an alarm.
I never thought anything of it since this was a norm with the pics we would take throughout the years.
Two days ago, I got blasted with the inbox message from my ex-friend, chewing me out for posting that photo, among other photos where he posed with other girls…these were photos taken by me with their approval of course.
He’s evidently pissed because the photo got viewed by the wrong person: his ex-wife…or current wife is what I suspect.
Listen- I have no qualms about pulling a sensitive photo upon the request of someone who has something to hide.
That isn’t my contention.
I am pissed at his approach, his language and the manner in which he addressed me about the situation!
Don’t balk at me because you got fucking caught living a lie dude!
Approach me cordially and like a man…or a friend!
Don’t jump down my throat in anger because of your own fuck-ups!
Don’t ‘DEMAND’ that I remove a photo which I possess, taken by me, with the explicit consent of yourself and the girl who’s also in the photo(s).
You don’t have the right to demand shit!
To be clear here: I never responded to his inbox message with how I was really feeling.
I simply replied with: “Ok. Cool”!
I was so shocked and thrown for a loop that I couldn’t muster up the words at the time to put this idiot in his rightful place!
He specifically wanted 3 tagged photos removed, so I assured him that I will: “Ok cool man”, was my only response.
Now, this is where it all boiled over for me.
Today, I received a phone call from a mutual friend of ours concerning the matter.
The mutual friend told me that the dude is irate and is cursing up a storm that I would post those pics of him to Facebook…especially knowing that he has a wife…or ex-wife. Also that he is stressing and going through drama over this.
I tried to keep my composure over the phone as I explained to the mutual friend the occurrence, and the fact that I NEVER knew that this dude was even married at any point in time!
He conveniently withheld that vital piece of information from me!
No rings on his finger during his periodic visits, no bands, no word or talk of marriage and so forth.
I had no fucking indication that this dude was married!
He never gave me any indication!
As the convo progressed between me and the mutual friend of ours, I got very ticked off that I’m here being accused of causing this dude marital problems over peanuts!
I don’t have a problem with covering for the boys!
That isn’t the issue here!
The fact is, this prick for whatever reason, never tipped me off about his marriage, nor the fact that he might have had a girl in his life.
He pretended to be a Bachelor while secretly having relationships here and there.
Hence, the reason why I hinted earlier that players and naturals have to always live a lie and cover their tracks from various women.
They lie to girl A about girl B, and lie to girl C about girl D…while brewing up another batch of lies and deception for girl E and F…lies which will all catch up to him sooner than later.
PUA’s will rarely ever face such drama because we don’t lie to women about these things…at least we are taught not to!
We don’t have to put our fucking phones on silent mode, out of fear that the girl we are in bed with will become suspicious of incoming calls and messages.
Saying that to say, If you’re gonna play and be a player; play it right!
Don’t blame the next man when shit blows up in your fucking face!
If you want to be a ladies man: learn to do it right by being forthright with women!
You don’t have to lie to women: whether they’re your wife, concubine, side-chick or hookers!
Ok, so before the phone call ended between the quasi-mediator [the mutual friend] and myself, I gave him a little message to deliver to my ex-friend:
“Listen- I’m a grown ass man! I don’t have time for kid fucking drama! Tell him that I say, I will NOT delete those photos- PERIOD! On top of that, tell him that from this day on, our friendship is terminated! No more! I don’t want shit to do with him and I don’t have shit to say to him ever again! Leave it at that”!
Mutual friend: “Hey Kenny bruh, you sure you want to take it that far over this”?
Me: “Yea! Point blank! I’m a man…a real man! I don’t hide like a bitch like he does! I don’t have to lie to my GF about my lifestyle! So deliver that message to his ass right now! Our friendship is DONE…for good! I don’t have time for this childish bullshit”!
Think what you want: “Kenny overreacted”.
No I didn’t!
I just don’t tolerate bullshit, nor do I respect wannabe players who play the game wrong, then bitch down when caught instead of taking responsibility and holding their own!
This is why I don’t have (male) friends neither wingmen.
Real men who own their shit are rare as flying donkeys!
I don’t want to be responsible for any guy’s situations, fuck-ups and dilemmas. Likewise, I don’t want any guy to think that they have to watch my back and vouch for me in anyway.
Guys such as my ex-friend need to realize that they cannot continue to live a lie when it pertains to women!
Lots of hearts will be left broken!
As someone who’s adherent to the old-school PUA philosophy, as Mystery once said, “Leave her better than you met her”.
In layman’s terms: that means a guy [a PUA] should enrich a girl’s life rather than break her down and leave her worse off emotionally than when he met her.
Lying to women about other women will only leave women worse off than they were before.
Hence, the “All men are dogs” mantra fostered by disgruntled women who were fucked over by a lying player.
By no means am I trying to merge pure ethics with game.
I’m not a fucking saint!
However, if I do get caught lying to some girl, it’ll NEVER be about other women in my life!
It is NEVER about me withholding the fact that I have a girlfriend and has been in a relationship 6+ years now!
My girlfriend of 6+ years knows very well that I meet other women.
Other women I meet and hook up with, know very well from the get-go that I have a GF, hence their expectations are NEVER shattered, nor are they ever hurt in the end.
You don’t have to lie to women about your womanizing ways!
Only Betas and men without balls do that!
Real men own up to their shit: married or legally single!
Getting caught out there, ala Tiger Woods and Koby Bryant style, then having to cry in front of the media apologizing like a giant pussy for loving pussy, is no way for a man to be a man.
In the case of my now ex-friend; I really don’t know why he had married while having the intention to continue to live the life of a bachelor.
Why the fuck marry dude!?
Frankly, I don’t care!
In the end, it all comes down to principles and respect.
You wanted something done [me deleting those photos]: should’ve gone about it with respect!
Don’t attack me and talk shit about me to others, saying that I’m ruining your marriage or post-marital issues by posting to my Facebook, then desire for me to fulfill your request!
If a guy wants to cheat [a term which I don’t agree with]: I have no problems with that!
Just own your shit whenever shit hits the fan!
Don’t blame anyone else like a coward for outing you!
No guy or gal can out me because I’m already out!
Whenever a girl in the blind (jokingly) says to me, “I’m gonna tell your girlfriend that you hit on other women”.
Little do they know that I operate above board about my womanizing ways.
My GF understands that I’m a man with a loaded dick in my pants and I love to flirt and meet other women for work and play.
She doesn’t jump down my throat for this because she well knew ahead of time what she had gotten into by getting with a pick-up artist.
It profits you NOT to lie to women about other women!
Read: No need to keep lying about having a GF
Difference between PUA and Players