Will Edward- How Flirting Made Me A Better Person

Will Edward is a dating coach who teaches men how to attract and seduce women. He is an expert at dancefloor game. Sign up for updates at willedward.com and you can follow Will on Twitter and FaceBook.

Young couple in love sitting in a cafe and communicating.

Learning how to flirt and attract women has made me a better person. I can connect with people more deeply and help them. I can navigate social situations and communicate better on a personal and business level.

Knowing how to flirt and socialize has helped me understand people on a deeper emotional level and care about their needs and allowing them to help with mine.

I can provide value, whether it is emotional, professional, social, etc. because I can quickly figure out how they feel and help them fulfill their desires and wants.

I genuinely care how other people feel and want them to feel better than how I met them.

Ironically, this was not the main reason I learned the art of flirting and attracting women. I just wanted to get laid, a lot. I have learned the skill to achieve that, but I have also gained so much more.

I had an unhealthy mindset growing up. I tried getting what I wanted out of life without caring too much for others. I wasn’t too concerned how others could benefit. I was a value seeker, a value vampire.

harvest-moon-vampire

How was I sucking value from others? I was taking and not giving back value in many cases. Sometimes I broke promises because there weren’t any noticeable consequences. It was sleazy and not something I’m proud of.

I did whatever I needed to do to get what I wanted while reducing the chances of me being “caught”, punished or beaten up. Just for the record, I wasn’t a douchebag or reckless lawbreaker, and I didn’t wish harm on others.

I was actually considered a “nice” and shy kid growing up. I was just socially clueless. Who knows? I might have had (or still have) Aspergers, although I was never diagnosed with that.

Giving Value To Others

I didn’t realize that I could provide value to others while also receiving value. There’s plenty of value to go around, and we can all benefit from each other.

Richard Dawkins said that many situations in life are a nonzero sum game. Life isn’t like the stock market or a sports game. Somebody doesn’t have to lose for the other to win.

Most situations can be set up as a win-win for everybody.

I was getting better at understanding other’s needs as I got older but didn’t know how much value I could provide value until I started learning about pickup. Like I said, I didn’t get into it for ethical reasons or give value to others.

I just wanted to have the ability to have sex with any girl I want. That in itself sounds value seeking, but you learn to, “give up” that goal and become “outcome independent”. You’re emotions don’t depend on achieving your goal.

You just give value, and you start receiving value back. That could end up being a same-night-lay or one-night-stand, invitations to parties, expansion of your social circle, or new business relationships, etc.

Man give large amounts of money and value

There are methods and techniques to help achieve those goals, but the underlying principle that allows this to happen much more easily and quickly is to provide value unconditionally.

The first things I learned was that I needed to talk to everybody. I had to be that social guy that just gave value freely without judgment. Usually, I would have just gone up to the first girl I wanted to sleep with and just ignored her friends.

I didn’t acknowledge her friends or other people in bars or clubs. Once I knew I had to be more social, I conditioned myself to talk to other guys and girls I wasn’t necessarily attracted to.

Talking to everybody made me more social and allowed me to become more present and not stay in my head and freeze up.

Are People Selfish?

I used to think that most people were selfish and only cared about themselves or close friends. I figured they were jerks and ignored people they didn’t know.

I built up a lot of anger towards people that seemed outgoing because they reminded me of some of the “popular” kids in school who picked on me.

I moved around a lot, and I didn’t have great social skills. I was a social outcast for most of my school years. I was bullied by some of the “cool” and “popular” kids, so I had a lot of negative feelings towards them.

I saw how kind and interesting other people were as I started talking with them. I was getting along with the people that reminded me of the popular crowd.

They were people like that popular jock who was always surrounded by all the hot girls, or the super charismatic guy who shared cool stories and was the center of attention. I was hanging out with them like we were equals.

men with beautiful women drinking at club table

I finally felt like I was “in” and part of the “cool” crowd. I was even getting the hot girls’ attention and having them want to talk to me over the jock or “that guy” who was usually in the spotlight. I started to become “that guy.”

It was so awesome, and I didn’t know how to handle it at first. I wasn’t used to it, and sometimes I’m still getting used to it when I get into more crazy and exciting situations.

I didn’t have my first “serious” girlfriend until I was in college. By serious, I mean dating for more than a couple months. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was in college either.

Going from that shy kid who got bullied a lot in school and just stayed at home playing video games on the weekends, to the guy that could take over a room and take a girl home that same night, was an entirely new and different experience.

That’s not even the best part. I just feel more fulfilled and have more clarity and focus in my life. Not being able to attract and seduce women was a huge missing part of my life.

Not having a girl was in the back of mind and for the longest time. Soon I just accepted the fact that having a girlfriend might not be for me. I tried distracting myself by playing video games or doing some other mindless activity.

One thing I had going for me was that I did well in school and got a well-paying job after graduation, but I soon found out that even that wasn’t something I wanted…

Being True To Yourself

Once I started getting good at game and picking up girls, I started going after the things I wanted out of life more often. I wasn’t hesitating or doubting myself as much. I was taking more action and more risks.

I had developed a lot of confidence in my social and seduction skills, which helped transfer over in other parts of my life. It gave me the courage that I could accomplish pretty much anything.

The road to mastery in one area of life can carry over to other areas in your life. I started going after my dreams and passions.

I knew that I had the ability to get anything out of life because I could positively influence and persuade people. Flirting and knowing social dynamics can be used in any anywhere that involves communication.

Whenever I go to any interaction, I’m able to provide good emotions (value) to others, and they are more willing to help me out and give value back.

For example, when I go to a restaurant, I will flirt with the female waitress. I might compliment her, or joke around or qualify her and have a genuine conversation.

Most people will just order their food and not bother talking to her. She is more likely to help me get what I want and visit me more often, to ask me how the food is and do her best to fix anything that may be wrong.

Of course, I’ll give her a good tip afterward and the next time she sees me, she will remember me and that will give me social proof, which will help when I bring friends or a date over. I may also try to set up a time to see her after work.

Another example can be during a negotiation or sales call. You’ll be able to confidently communicate your needs efficiently and find out the other person’s needs. Your strong frame will allow you to reach a mutual benefit.

Finding Your Purpose

What’s even better once you start being authentic and true to yourself and going after what you want, you’ll be able to follow your life purpose and feel more fulfilled.

I found out that the corporate job I got after college wasn’t what I wanted. I went to college because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and my family said that I should get a degree and a stable job. They had the best intentions.

But once I started doing it, I didn’t have the passion and drive to continue with it. I didn’t like the idea of trading my time for a salary. I wanted more freedom and accomplish more for myself.

I found my calling and started working for myself on something that I enjoyed doing. I have much more motivation and passion for what I’m doing now, which is marketing and teaching other guys on how to attract and seduce women.

man standing among skyscrapers

There is nothing more satisfying than actually going out, socializing and helping others develop the skills to get this part of their lives handled. It’s so much fun, and it creates such an adrenaline rush.

I can reach out to a lot of people and have an impact and create valuable content. What’s also great is that marketing, psychology, and social dynamics are closely related so becoming better at one helps me get better at the others.

I’m very curious and always learning on how I can improve my game and business. I have complete freedom to what I want to pursue and can set my schedule on goals and tasks to complete.

It’s one of the most liberating and rewarding feelings.

Understanding And Connecting With Others

Understanding social dynamics has helped me get along better with my family and friends as well. I’m much more sensitive to other people’s feelings. I don’t get into long winded arguments or many arguments at all.

Some of my family members or friends would try to tell me what I should be doing with my life, or there might be some misunderstandings, and we would get into an unnecessary conflict.

Sub-communication is a critical part of all interactions. Most of our communications are non-verbal, so conveying your thoughts, ideas and feelings in the right way with your voice, body language or facial expressions is essential.

Almost every argument or heated interaction can be avoided by communicating effectively. Whenever there is a misunderstanding of thoughts or emotions, it’s usually due to poor communication.

We all are entitled to our opinions and judging other’s by having a different view is not beneficial. People usually won’t impose their views or beliefs on you as long as you remain calm and listen without judgment.

They will see you’re not a threat to their beliefs, so they don’t have to prove themselves to you. You can also reframe it as them having good intentions in trying to help you, so you also don’t get defensive, but be open-minded.

Who knows? Maybe they do have some words of wisdom that you can listen without a distorted view. You can decide for yourself whether you want to take action on their advice or use it for inspiration or guidance later.

It’s funny how I used to be a shy kid that was just trying to get laid with as many hot girls as possible. Learning how to flirt and attract has helped me become a more well-rounded and better person.

I’m able to understand and connect with people on a real level. Instead of being politically correct and talk politely, I can have a real conversation where we both share information about each other that only close friends would do.

Everybody has some value that they can offer, and you can find out their motivations and see how you can benefit each other. You’ll develop the confidence to influence other people by developing your social skills.

You’ll get proof that you can get what you want out of life when people start wanting to help you. Start becoming a better person and learn how to flirt and communicate with people.

man and woman flirting and laughing on beach

Stop Piling Up Crap On Top Of Shit [Guest Post From VK Hollywood Vince Kelvin]

VK Hollywood Vince Kelvin, Master PUA guru

VK Hollywood Vince Kelvin, Master PUA guru

[Guest post for your weekend from VK Vince Kelvin]

Do you feel good when girls respond well, and bad when they don’t?

Too much ups and downs will make anyone bi-polar and wear out your motivation.

The world taught us all to be “appropriately sad” when something we think is bad happens!

Well intended concept yet extremely detrimental and victim frame derived.

If you want to be truly independent of women’s responses, so you are less affected, it’s time to reverse this silly Global equation and regain your
freedom.

What allows me to kiss and sleep with more girls than you can imagine and count, is that I remain completely unaffected whether they go for it or not.

From there I can play with whatever they do, and they become even more attracted as they are used to guys going weird when they don’t go for it.

But instead I stay neutral and make them laugh. Do the same!

For that…

1. Identify the moments in times, and type of responses that up until now would take you down.

2. Pin point what responses you used to stack on top of what you identified in step 1.

3. Design new empowering responses that will juice you up even when most would feel down.

Make your new code of conduct be: When women don’t go for it, when they don’t call back, when they don’t show up, I WILL DOUBLE MY MOTIVATION AND EFFORTS WITH EASE AND FLEXIBILITY!

YOU ARE EITHER THE LEADER OF YOUR OWN REALITY, OR YOUR REALITY LEADS YOU!

For real results, come study live with me a whole weekend.

Next final two bootcamps of 2013:

Hollywood Oc.t 19-20 and San Francisco Dec. 7-8

http://seductioncoaching.com/bootcamps/

Work Smart For The PUA

[Guest post from my buddy, renown PUA-dating coach, Kingy of PUA Method out of the UK]

Work Smart For the PUA by Kingy

Work Smart For the PUA

Article Written by Kingy from http://www.puamethod.com

Hey man,

A lot of guys out there are training at pick up but they are training wrong.  There are a few key rules which must be implemented every time if you wish to reach a mastery level at pick up

Focus on your sticking points (brutal self-honesty required)

Be honest with where you are weakest.  Most people only want to practice at their strengths because it feels better to be good at something.  Most people dont achieve mastery and get exceptionally good at something though.

The top four most attractive Qualities a PUA can have are:-

  • Confidence
  • Genetics / Aesthetics
  • Humour
  • Positivity

attraction pua

Aesthetics, the things that you can work on are displayed below.

attractive pua

Other attractive qualities are:-

  • Dominance
  • Pre-Selection
  • Being Emotionally Healthy
  • Social Value
  • Physically Healthy
  • Being a Challenge
  • Ambitious
  • Has his life in order

What are your weakest things sticking points?  These are the areas which you should now start to focus on when you are practicing to become better with women and dating.

Build fixed attractive qualities and not variable ones

Work on the areas of attraction which are fixed because these will give you a natural boost even if you are having an off day internally.

Some areas of attraction like confidence and humour are dependent on how you are feeling that day.  There are other areas of attraction which will be constant at all times.  Some of these things are:-

  • Being in good shape
  • Being healthy
  • Teeth Whitening
  • Shoe Lifts
  • Stylish Clothes
  • Piercings or tattoos (attractive to a certain type of woman)

These things all contain attractive value which wont fluctuate.  It doesnt matter if you have a bad day these things will stay the same.  The advantage a good looking guy might have is that he has a level of attraction value that doesnt change.  Plus the good looking guy is more likely to get IOIs from other girls in the venue which will boost his confidence and give a feeling of entitlement.  That said, look at all the areas you can improve that contain fixed levels of attractiveness.  Then when you game you wont need to be at 100% best night ever but instead maybe for example 70% a good/average night and you can still get laid.

What is the objective?

Most guys who dont know what they want to achieve in this game.  It usually takes them several years longer to achieve their desired results.  A person who set out with a clear objective of what they want to achieve will get there a lot quicker.  A clear objective along with meditation will give you lazer focus and allow you to cut right to the chase.

 

In this infield video of me you can see I have a clear objective. In my mind, before I even approach, I know where I can take her for an instant date. I know where my second location will be (the park). I know that to get sexual with her it will probably need to be on our second location. (Doing this on the second location dramatically reduces escalation LMR.) Going for what you want and knowing your desired outcome really helps a guys game.


Dont be afraid to fail

A lot of people give up because it hurts their ego too much when they dont get the results they want.  Failure is needed for you to succeed.  It is impossible to get good without failing and recognising what you are messing up on.  Failure builds inner strength but also shows you where you need to improve.

 

Work on the highest impact tasks

As mentioned earlier it is important to focus on your sticking points but also it is important to focus on your sticking points that have the highest impact.  If you have a sticking point of not being able to dance well, will this really help you to get better with women?  How attractive is knowing how to dance?  Honestly, this is a very low percentage thing.  So dont waste time doing it.  If you want to learn to dance for the enjoyment of it, that is fine.  But dont pretend this is helping your ability to pick women up.  Select the things that will have the biggest impact on your level of attractiveness.

Highest gain least Effort

As well as focusing on your sticking points that have the highest impact it is also important to focus first on the ones that require the least effort.  Building your confidence or humour can take a lot of time.  These are definitely things that need doing.  First though why not get a style make over, get some lifts for your shoes or lose weight.  These are all things that will give you quick results without needing much effort.  Do these first along with approaching women on a regular basis.  Then you can see how far away you are from achieving your goals when working on the higher effort things.

Get Training or Ask for Help

To many guys are too proud to get help.  They brag about the girls that they had sex with on the forum but in reality the girl is average and he is just deluding himself.  Get help or at a minimum find a wing who gets the level of results that you would like and spend as much time approaching women with him as possible.

Peace n Love,

Kingy

“Tank Tactics” By Donny G The Pick-Up Artist

Donny G the Pick-Up Artist

Donny G the Pick-Up Artist

Guest post by Donny G, PUA from London.


Tank Tactics: Can Persistence be your Weapon of Choice?

Day game, night game, club game. These three types of encounters rely solely on being able to attain a hook point within a matter of minutes. From the moment of your initial approach you are being assessed: “Who is this guy? What does he want? And how long am I stuck with him for?” – These are the main obstacles you face when trying to build rapport and attraction in a short period of time.

And any PUA on the planet will tell you that success isn’t guaranteed. You are going to face rejection on more than one solitary occasion. This isn’t down to the skill of the PUA, but more-so due to the HB not being ready. Steve Jabba referred to it best when he stated that some women simply are not ready to be swept off their feet. In these instances there is nothing that can be done.

But what if you had time as your wingman? Imagine that! No false time restraints, no routines, no negs and no NLP; just the courage to be 100% authentic and play to your strengths. After all, we all want a partner who likes us for who we are, rather than who we were told to be in a book or on a message board somewhere.

In this blog I will take a look at a technique that I have come to call ‘Tank Tactics’. Tank Tactics explores the notion that any woman can be won over with persistence – and you don’t have to be a PUA to apply them. There are no false time constraints because the time constraints are real. There are no routines because you are simply laying down the foundations to something bigger. There are no negs because you are able to build a rapport where teasing is comfortable. And finally there is no NLP involved because the anchors you are using are 100% down to you as an individual.

What you have to understand before I begin is that there is a difference between persistence and neediness. And a very fine line it is indeed. A needy man will constantly ask for dates and seek qualification, while a persistent man will be able to DHV (demonstrate high value) and intrigue his target to a point that her instinctive voice will be screaming yes to his eventual advances.

I remember reading ‘The Game’ like every other AFC turned PUA. One of the most memorable stories for me was the section in which Tyler Durden speaks about ploughing through obstacles until he attains his goal with women. I remember laughing out loud and attracting a few looks on the bus journey home; he was talking about TT without realising it.

I was always that guy who wouldn’t approach girls or talk to them on nights out. But unknowingly I had come up with a formula that had seen me get more success rates than any other AFC. It was only after further reading and studying that I managed to hone this tactic to a 100% success rate. But how? I suppose the best way is to refer back to one of many instances at my favourite stomping ground; work.

There she was; a rather pale beauty with dark hair and eyes so blue you could almost see yourself swimming in them. She wasn’t the type of girl who knew how beautiful she was; she was the more dangerous type that unwittingly led every interested man down a long and winding garden path. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of eight months and wasn’t interested in anybody. To her, everybody was just being friendly. To her, she had no interest in any of us.

Time constraints and routines?

Being at work it was very difficult to speak to her for a long period of time, so there were constant time restraints. First I made myself known to her, and to a certain extent I was just being friendly but I knew that I was simply creating foundations for something bigger. The fact she now knows who I am made it easier to randomly talk to her again and again; and I would do this regularly making sure I DHV (demonstrate high value). Two minutes here, five minutes there… I was the friendly guy at work who would come over and make her day pass quicker.

From two minute meet ups I would walk with her on lunch breaks. Now that she was used to longer conversations, two minutes here and there paled in comparison. So every visit I made to talk to her during work left her wondering how long it would be until I had to leave again. Sometimes I would just say hi to her on my lunch and walk in a different direction to her. Why didn’t I want to talk to her suddenly? I did, but by taking away my company I am making her conditioned voice conflict with her instinctive voice.

After a few days I invited her to lunch. I remember this event specifically because she agreed, but made it clear that it was a “mate date” and she doesn’t dip her pen in the company’s ink. Friend zoned? It wasn’t even a test. To her, she had no interest in dating. To her, this was just a friendly lunch. But it was a date even though I was happy to let her think otherwise. I even made a quip about having more style than to take a girl on a first date to a café across the road from my work. On my lunch break. To have a hot chocolate.

After this point we became very friendly; and this is the point where you have to escalate rapidly. I began to hug her, touch her and discuss sexual things with her. I even bought a little pot of ink as a joke with a note attached saying “here is a pot of ink, now you don’t have to worry about dipping your pen in the company’s”.

You see, in her mind her conditioned voice is still telling her that she doesn’t want to get into anything, but her instinctive voice begins to become the more dominant inner voice. Imagine the use of anchors in NLP. Now imagine being able to plant anchors similar to those in NLP without any knowledge? I would constantly make references to how I am a great cook, or how there is something worth noting in my house. If you keep planting these seeds the chances are that she is eventually going to qualify herself for an invite.

She did. I obliged. We closed.

The breakdown is really simple when not applied to a long winded story; although the story does well to explain certain scenarios.

 Make an introduction.

 Regularly interact and DHV (demonstrate high value) in short bursts.

 Escalate interaction to a longer burst.

 Take away (The pull in your push).

 Escalate to more regular interactions.

 Rapid escalate (Tanking).

 Close

You don’t even have to work with the HB in order for TT to work; it will work with anybody you see regularly, be it at your work, at her work, in your gym or even on the bus. You are just using the familiarity to build a foundation in which you can create comfort in conversing. Once more of a familiarity is formed you can create curiosity and rapid escalate or “tank”.

The regular notions surrounding Pickup still remain; DHV and kino. But the rest is entirely down to you through an authentic approach. And I suppose that a lot of this tactic still relies on inner game and how you can DHV with a positive portrayal of yourself. But I should probably warn you that some girls’ instinctive voices scream louder than others. Some will be okay to have a bit of fun, while others will want a relationship. I have found this out the hard way, so manage expectations.

Social Kenny also uses TT when he goes on the Scavenger Hunt. When inhibitions are lowered, or comfort zones are breached, girls become far more prone to opening up to a persistent man. After all, they love the chase as much as we love the pursuit.


I’d just like to add in conclusion to this guest post that Donny G is Le-Fucking Git! And his Tanking Technique is rock solid!

Need proof? Check out this exclusive-field-report article from November, written by a sexy-female blogger out of London, which detailed how Donny G had seduced her off her feet and gave her the best sexual experience in her life! You’ll find out how he got the name Donny Goodhands: I just wanna make you wet!

Follow him on Twitter at @dom_campbell

Refer to the PUA acronym-term page to familiarize yourself with the lingo used on this blog.

Donny G the Pick-Up Artist

Donny G the Pick-Up Artist

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