Fat Girls With “High Standards” Really Need To Re-Evaluate [Dating-Marketplace Value Reality Check]


“How politically incorrect to refer to ‘BIG’ girls as fat girls”!

All pun aside; I am learning to respect “BIG” girls in a brand-new way, hence my toned-down rhetoric over the last year or so where fat-shaming has virtually been eradicated from my writings.

In any case, plus-size women naturally face a conundrum in the dating marketplace, simply because they aren’t regarded as society’s idea of beauty.

Now, beauty is personal to each individual who’s judging what beauty means to him or her.

Beauty is subjective! It is truly to each his own. So I am not disregarding that at all!

However, the reality on the ground- in the dating-market place- is that the heavier you are, the more baggages you carry [no pun intended].

Plus-size women are by no means blind to this reality.

In the same breath, they are somewhat naïve to their perceived handicap in dating.

Earlier today, a plus-sizer, a distant acquaintance of mines on Facebook, posted a status about why guys on Facebook just see her as someone to “netflix and chill” with, rather than to wine and dine and take out.

I refrained from being blunt as possible on her post [that the reason for this is because she’s on the heavier side of things and guys don’t feel that they should invest as much], but I did chime in after another plus-sizer had commented about standards, and how big girls who have high standards should maintain those standards.

Here’s the screenshot.


Now- my argument was very simplistic without being blunt: Women should lower their standards and expectations in dating.

I stopped short of saying “fatties should lower their standards”, but realistically speaking, the more physical baggages [pounds] a woman has, the lower her standards should and must become if she wishes to get some play in the dating-market place!

Not to mention that the woman who had posted that status is plus-size, but has kids and is 43 years old.

Those are 3 strikes against a female when looking a suitable lover and potential long-term mate.

This isn’t news-fucking flash by the way!

A woman on the verge of infertility [menopause] does NOT and CANNOT wield the same influence in dating as a girl in her sexual prime!

The younger the woman, the more bargaining chips she can afford to play with, and the more leverage she wields in dating and mating.

Some women- a great portion of them- seem to turn a blind eye to this truth by wanting to believe that they can push their weight around and be demanding in the dating-marketplace, while having baggages in the form of children, age and pounds.

Plus-sizers and older women, fail to realize that their stock and market value will have depreciated and devalued over time: with age, and according to the pounds they pack on simultaneously as they age.

Big girls, though recognizing the disadvantages and devaluing of their market value, often choose to live in denial about this…though they know better.

Thanks to social media and thirsty men who don’t get laid, plus-size women can now take to the internet and live an alternate reality- a virtual reality- where they get validated all day long by such men, disingenuously being told how pretty they are, generating hundreds of likes on their lame-ass selfies and so forth.

With a hit off the validation pipe (the internet), big girls now feel that they are competitive enough in the dating world that they can make the same purchasing demands as women who are half their body size.

Every now and then, they receive a reality check once realizing that the vast majority of guys truly don’t desire a relationship with them, but just a “netflix and chill” 1-off encounter of anything.

This usually cuts the big girl down to size…or remove her from the high horse in which she had no business mounting in the first place.

Sure they are lots of guys who have a preference for big girls (even huge ones such as SSBBW’s). But on an innate level, no guy expects to have to fight arduously to snag a girl who’s entering the marketplace with weight issues.

To be frank, and I’m sorry to let the cat out the bag on how men think, the underlying reason why guys become chubby-chasers and go after heavies, included the guys who have a preference for big girls, is because they deem big girls easier catches.

Distasteful reality, but I had to break the news to you.

Most guys who chase big girls had only resorted to doing so out of scarcity, mild desperation, pent-up horniness, encouraged by the perception that the bigger the girl, the easier she must be.

Men, as slow as we are in comparison to women, very well know that big girls are lower down the marketplace-value chain than slim and thick women are.

Even the chubby-chaser are well aware of this truth…which is why they chase heavies in the first place (less marketplace value means easier buy)!

Whether we humans consciously see things this brash or not, dating and mating are equated to the sale and purchase of goods.

The closer the commodity reaches to its expiratory date, the more its marketplace value and price reduce.

The longer the item been on the shelf, its shelf life and value reduce.

Common day-to-day economics right there, to which the average consumer can relate.

In the area of dating, likewise, as the female ages and or packs on the pounds, the closer she gets to her expiratory date: whether that be menopause or expiration of life itself.

Nevertheless, the older she gets, the more value she loses in dating.

The amount of guys who would actually risk making that purchase still (as in to seriously date her) would have dwindled…unless it’s for a quick use.

What do I mean by “quick use”?

Instant pump and dump.

Likewise with the girl who’s been packing on the pounds, perhaps due to childbearing or hereditary factors; her purchasing value reduces as less guys would’ve been willing to take that gamble for a long-term investment.

Hence, of the guys who claim to be into big girls, the vast majority just wants to pump and dump and satisfy their sexual urges, while expending the least amount of resources (money and time) as possible on such a risky investment [big girls, and older girls]. So “Netflix and chill”, or some other low-investment proposal, is the most that the average Joe is willing to invest in a woman whom he deems to be a risky purchase (big and older women).

Now, let’s examine this on the other side of the spectrum.

Would the average guy solely shoot for “netflix and chill” with a younger and so-called hotter girl (according to societal’s standards)?

Of course not!

He would explore his options, ranging from a lavish date, shopping spree, to even a trip if the girl would only dare come along…all expenses paid…on him!

Why so? Because a younger and hotter (trimmer) girl would have been in high(er) demand in the dating marketplace!

Her value would have been out the roof!

She’s akin to the iPhone- whichever # they are up to now- fresh off the production line being shipped to retail outlets.

She’s likely to sell fast and at top price.

She can make outlandish demands because her value is congruent to her demands.

Being young- let’s say between the ages of 18-25 – trim or thick, and having no kids, she’s truly working with a monopolized hand.

Her demands will be met…and some!

As an overweight woman, withstanding the fact that you are childless and highly fertile in your early 20’s, you still cannot demand equal bargaining price as the women of smaller sizes…especially if they’re in shape!

As I touched on at the top of the article- fundamentally- women grasp this!

Big girls also understand this disparity and they cope with it for the most part!

Barring that, if a big girl wishes to maximize her buying power (and who wouldn’t❓ ), she has to rethink and think wisely!

She should quit trying to compete with the women who are out of her league, by expecting to snag hot athletes and musical icons!

I posted a status to Facebook the other day, which I was chided out for, by saying that big girls are the only ones posting photos of jocks and half-naked men bearing 6-pac abs, whom they will never get if they were the last women on Earth.

Quite harsh but real!

Big girls general drool over guys who are out of their league.

“Drooling”, and having real expectations of dating an NFL star athlete, are 2 different things.

We can all fantasize of our ideal type. But to expect this ideal type to be desirous of us, in spite of our baggages, is pure mental masturbation.

Men also face this problem.

You have guys who are intrinsically 5’s on the attraction scale, yet desiring women who are HB 10’s on the looks scale!

Take note that I specifically wrote “attraction scale” and not “looks scale” for men, because what makes a guy a 9 or 10, is neither his facial composition, height nor build, but his fashion sense, style, attitude, personality, lifestyle, hobbies, etc.

However, as a guy, you cannot fucking become a 10 while laying up at home 6 nights a week, munching Cheetos, watching South Park, no physical activity besides fetching the remote and booze, or commuting to and from work, no social life whatsoever!

That’s not a fucking 10! No matter how handsome you are as a man!

Your stock in the dating marketplace will not be as valuable as an ugly guy who has a life, hits the gym, stays fit, has a cool-fashion sense, dresses well, etc.

Therefore, with men, what determines our date-worthiness and fuck-worthiness, isn’t how handsome we are, but everything else from the inner core to our style.

For women, since men are looks-based (visually stimulated creatures), we judge a woman’s fuckability and date-ability on her looks.

The more good-looking she is; the more we’re willing to pay for the acquisition.

The hotter, younger and trimmer the girl on a looks-base system, the more power she wields, the more leverage she has, and the more willing men are to invest more capital and time in such a fertile commodity.

With all that being said, if a guy who’s a 5 or 6, wishes to date up, he needs to get his shit together, drop the potato-chips bag, get off the couch and go get a life!


If he’s a 5 or 6 and doesn’t wish to improve his lifestyle situation; then he needs to drop the fantasy of having a drop-dead stunner- an HB10- walking into his abode with lingerie on, ready to get ravaged by him!

It’s not gonna happen brodie!

You have to become a 10 [attitude and lifestyle wise] if you firstly want to date 10’s!

For big girls, it is easy for me to say, “Just lose 100 fucking pounds and you’re golden”!

Easier to say; but not realistic.

What is really feasible and doable though, is if she simply lowers her standards!

Just as I’d said in the screenshot at the top to my plus-size acquaintance, too many women are walking around with these high-ass standards and expectations when they don’t qualify!

You can’t expect a 10 when you’re a 4!

You can’t be grossly overweight and expect to snag a guy who’s a goddamn 10 (this is general advise BTW, and not directed at any specific big girl🙂 )!

It isn’t congruent to your marketplace value!

You cannot realistically want a guy who’s a 7, 8, 9 or 10, if and when you are borderline menopausal, have 1 or numerous kids and are overweight!

Your standards and expectations of men cannot be sky frikkin’ high!

That’s like me trying to convince someone to buy my old iPhone 3G for $500 USD!

That’s insane!

The only way I could get it sold for that price, is if I hustle and swindle someone into buying it!

Do fat girls- I mean “big” girls- try to hustle and swindle guys into making a serious purchase, albeit a risky one?

Sure they do!

How about showing a little bit more cleavage than slim girls do in those selfies?

Some inducements, huh?

In any case, lowering one’s standards in order to find a potential mate, shouldn’t be an undignified blow to anyone’s self esteem.

Telling a girl that her standards in men are too high and she should rethink that strategy, is akin to fighting words nowadays…for most women.

However, it is a wise strategy in my estimation. And most women who claim to be single (though truly single women don’t exist) are so, as products of their own high expectations in men, and high standards which don’t align with their dating-marketplace value.

If you’re a big girl, and can’t seem to find a jacked guy who’s built like an athlete, willing to take you on for more than just a 2-week fling; then just maybe dammit- your standards are too damn high! And that checklist needs to have fewer boxes!

Ever thought of that!?

Why not settle for the guy who’s a bit pudgy around the waist; who’s respectfully in your league but a tad bit higher?

If the verb “settle” doesn’t sit too well with you, why not “reconsider” the guys whom you’re putting yourself out there for?

Instead of futilely chasing after the 10’s, why not give the 7’s and 6’s a meaningful shot without putting up this bitch shield or titanium, sending guys running for the hills?

American Women Are Shallow Daters…+ A Fat Man’s Guide To Getting Action

Yesterday, I was watching an episode of MTV’s Catfish.

Those who are not au-fait with the show, it’s based on virtual couples who fall in love and get into online relationships with others they haven’t met…without actually seeing each other [years on end].

The common theme which plays out is that 1 person had set up a fake dating profile (or Facebook profile) in order to lead the other person on [by posting photos of someone else or assuming someone else’s identity].

In the most recent episode I’d watched, a guy who calls himself Scorpio, had set up a fake-online profile which he used photos of a male-stripper in order to appear more attractive to unsuspecting women [in this case, a girl named Trina].

In reality, Scorpio isn’t a male-stripper, doesn’t have a 6-pac, and looks totally different than the guy in his online photos.

Now the girl whom he’d Catfished [tricked into believing he was a male-stripper with solid abs], finally met him face to face and was presented with a chubby guy with a pot-belly who couldn’t remotely become a male-stripper even if he puts his life on it.

Lee, who led Trina on into believing her was a ripped male-stripper named Scorpio.

Lee, who led Trina on into believing her was a ripped male-stripper named Scorpio.

Pretty deceptive, but that isn’t my issue here.

Few things from an observational mind [my mind]:

1.) Why should a man believe that he has to lie about his physical appearance to get laid or get a girlfriend?

2.) Why is dating so polarizing in America where if you don’t have a 6-pac, you’re essentially undateable?

Now, I’m not chastising women for wanting fit guys who sport wash-board abs [like what I have].

Socialkenny's hot body

Socialkenny’s hot body

Perhaps the American media is to be blamed for this shallow outlook on dating and mating.

Is the rest of the western world this shallow?

Surprisingly Not!

I find myself liking to make comparisons between regions and nations, so here we go with another comparative reality-check:

In the Caribbean, South America (bar Brazil), Mexico and Central America, the average guy who’s tapping the most ass and getting the most dates are guys with beer-bellies, fat, chubby and out-of shape.

Also the scrawny guys get laid just as much.

Men with solid 6-pac abs and ripped bodies are not getting laid in those regions of the world [not even in the U.S.].

Women of those regions do not put much value on a man’s physique as they do in America.

Therefore, the suicide rate driven by anti-socialization among (young) males is drastically low to non-existent in those regions.

Many suicides and attempted suicide cases by young men in America, is perpetrated by chubby guys who were ostracized by women their entire lives.

Since being big isn’t seen as a social handicap in other regions, guys on the bigger side are generally more sociable, accepted and sought-after.

They aren’t pressured into buffing up and hitting the gym killing themselves in order to get a Mike The Situation body nor to lose 50 lbs.

Guys aren’t pressured into having to create fake-online profiles in order to mask their true identity to attract unsuspecting women.

The average guy who gets laid in South American countries and the wider Caribbean are chubby dudes or scrawny guys with chests as flat as an ironing board!

For the guys out there reading this going, “Kenny you’re just full of shit because you’re some fat out-of-shape guy who’s trying to justify being a fat slob”!

As you can see from this other recent photo of me; I’m very much in shape and I’m ripped on my best days.

So I’m not a fat-insecure guy who’s fed up of not getting dates and shunned.

In spite of having a chiseled-athletic body; it isn’t what gets me laid.

Having a great body yet lacking confidence in your social skills will always sink you.

Having a hot body doesn’t mean you’ll be getting laid (based on that alone).

A chubby guy with decent amounts of skills in social dynamics who knows how to be confident will always beat out the shallow-jacked Guido who relies on looks and his body to attract women.

This also correlates with an article I wrote a while back: “Ugly men get laid more than hot ones”.

Good-looking men generally do NOT get laid [that is- what society deems as good-looking].

These Adonis-looking guys with chiseled bodies are generally very insecure and vain when it comes to appearance. And they cannot hold a decent conversation for shit!

Just like the super model; those girls are the most insecure set of women on the face of the Earth, although they have the most desirable bodies.

So good looks rarely ever translate to a good character and a good person.

Just as the ripped guy; he can at times attract women by sheer physique, but he’s shallow as ever and usually turns off women during the 1st. minute of convo.

Opposed to the overweight fat guy, the perceived-ugly guy and the scrawny guy; they might not have desirable bodies, but a huge number of those guys are hella fucking confident, which is why they get laid more and have more success in dating than the jacked guy.

And I’m not sure if it’s even the media’s fault, because in all of those regions (where fat men are king of poon), they’re still bombarded with infomercials to get ripped, or Americanized TV shows which demonize fat men as undateable.

So the American media realistically isn’t to be blamed.

Perhaps the blame lies squarely on American women who are too shallow-minded in dating, that they’d reject a guy solely because he doesn’t have a jacked male-stripper body.

In the Caribbean and the other regions mentioned, chubby guy on the left would get laid more than ripped guy on the right:

This phenomenon had puzzled the shit out of me for years throughout my travels in Latin America, Puerto Rico and the entire western hemisphere.

In the grand scheme of things, guys who are struggling in the American-dating scene because of weight issues should:

focus on the bigger things, which are self-confidence in your body and comfort in your present skin.

Accept yourself and your body for what it is.

Build an (attractive) social life.

The worst possible thing you can do is to deceive others by creating fake-online profiles, portraying yourself to be a physically fit guy when you’re not.

Also, there’s no need to scurry on down to the gym to try transforming your physique from a Rick Ross’ to a Taylor Lautner’s just to appease shallow women…unless you’re personally desirous to get in better shape.

You can sport the sexiest-male body, but if the mind isn’t in the right place; you’ll still fail with women.

Just walk into a nightclub and scope it out; the men who are getting the most action aren’t good-looking (by society’s standards) nor are they ripped.

They are chubbies with beer-bellies and skinny guys with skeletal physiques.

Conversely, you will be at a disadvantage online however, since most girls look @ a guy’s photo first to then decide if she’ll interact with him.

But forget about online dating. That shit is for pussies and men who are scared to interact mano-a-mano, vis-a-vis with hot girls.

So if you’re overweight, fat or on the chubby side, and are having difficulties competing in the American-dating scene; just focus on building body language, Alpha-male posture, being confident and improving your conversational skills.

Then you’ll be surprised to see that the otherwise shallow chick at the bar is rapping with you instead of a guy with my body LOL!

Oh yea; Fuck the marketers who want to get rich off of you by promising that if you purchase their products, you’ll lose a zillion lbs. in the first few hours!

Even if it does work; you’ll still be that insecure-fat guy on the inside who believes that looks is the magic bullet to bang-ville.

Lastly, take a page out of my cousin’s book.

With his consent, I’m posting the following pictures of him below.

My favorite cousin, Dj Daddy Nate, NYC DJ since the late 1980's [the age of 16].

My favorite cousin, Dj Daddy Nate, NYC DJ since the late 1980’s [the age of 16].

My cousin’s an NYC DJ since the age of 16.

He’s well renown in the Reggae and Hip-Hop circles throughout New York City.

As you can see from the picture; he’s huge in stature and body!

But he’s even more fucking HUGE in confidence like no other guy I’ve ever known!

Throughout his bachelor years as a DJ, he was getting laid more than any other guy around.

This dude has been banging chicks of every nationality since the 80’s!

I recall numerous times when I was like 8 years old [in 1989], he would bring chicks back to the apartment [I was staying with his parents then], and while banging them, he would coerce me to fondle their tits and ass LOL!

He actually aided me in getting my virginity taken many many years later.

Was it the fact that he’s a DJ that made him so confident and got bitches left to right?


He’s just naturally confident and doesn’t see his size as a handicap.

Being a DJ did flip the attraction switch for him and made him more desirable, but it was ultimately his positive vibe, energy and humor which got him laid like a Rockstar.

To this day, he’d joke with me that “women love fat men to cuddle with like teddy bears”.

He really fucking believed this!

This belief system of his [that he was the most desirable guy around despite his size], made him appear more attractive to women (on a subconscious level).

This is what we call “Rock-Solid Inner Game” in pickup!

His humor, laughter and energy are contagious as fuck!

So that’s why I’m encouraging every big guy out there to work on:




•Social vibing

•Positive energy

And you’ll be amazed at how much ass you’ll be tapping into, while the buff, ripped guy with the male-stripper body is left to go home alone masturbating.

And this hearkens back to a saying of mines: “Self-confidence beats the shit out of good looks any day of the week”!

Work on your inner-game [confidence, humor…] first, and outer-game [body] last!

Dj Daddy Nate

Dj Daddy Nate

Kenny’s Fitness Photos [Thursday 06-09-2012]

It’s amazing what a little exercize can do.

I’ve always been fitness-conscious and keeping my physique in tip-top shape.

Along with a sexy mentality and seduction skills should be an equally sexy body [well-rounded].

Once you feel good about your body and proud of the hard work you put in to maintain it, you’ll walk with a better stride, chest out, Alpha swagger, attractive-body language.

Contrarily, feeling bad about your body and lack of progress to get in shape will kill your Inner Game: self-esteem, confidence, swagger, sense of style and pride. Thus rendering you awkward, non-confident and inept.

It’s kind of hard being over-weight and trying to exude confidence simultaneously.

So, go get active to achieve the body you want that women will want!!!!!

[Getting dressed to hit the streets and do some Day-Game Pickup].

How To Manage Your Weight [for women] And Maintain Muscles [for men]

“How To Manage Your Weight (for women) And Maintain Muscle (for men) by Chelios PUA”.

Chelios PUA, dating and lifestyle-coach out of London.

Chelios PUA, rockstar-dating and lifestyle-coach out of London.

Hey guys, Chelios back again after a while out of the Game.

For those who don’t know, SocialKenny and I go way back [since the Pick-Up Artist Forum], through the good, bad, beautiful & ugly!

For my first post back, I want to talk about “Weight Management“; something me and SocialKenny believe is a big part of the PUA Lifestyle (and for everyone else).

How to make yourself look better. But most importantly- feel better!

Looking good gives one an ego boost [it’s natural].

You need to believe, “Damn I look good”!!

When your’e feeling and looking good, it brings out confidence and courage.

Others can pick up and reflect on these traits.

And let’s be honest: we all want to be around people that are happy and confident, because positive thinking attracts positive things.

You can wear clothes you feel comfortable in, or perhaps wear clothing out of the ordinary.

But your Swag pulls you through!!

Being normal is good. But being “Different” is better. Get noticed! Stand out!

So in order to achieve an “Attractive Lifestyle”, some of us may want to drop weight or bulk up.

So here I’m gonna give few tips, plus my favorite way of eating to “look lean” [I would like to add, I’m sharing information from my experience].

My Experience With Calories

5 years ago, I was an overweight 107KG guy who dropped down to 76KG in about a year.

It was with hard work, but 80% of it came down to my diet.

Ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat”?

It’s Goddamn true!!

Eat meat/poultry along with good whole-grain foods = a great look.

Eat junk and candy = the fat look. All you have to do is then workout your macros.

Basically, how many calories your body need to maintain body weight, and then create a calorie deficit.

It really is that simple!

An important thing to know is that 3500 calories are in 1 pound of fat. Seems like a big number but it really isn’t.

You can easily lose 1 pound a week with no exercise. Or 2/3 pounds a week with some physical activity.

Also remember, the more muscle you carry, the more fat you will burn because your body demands more energy, so it will use more fat stores.

Dietary Plan & Good Foods

Let me give you an idea of a setup:

•Average man requires 2500 calories to maintain weight. So to lose a pound a week, you must create the deficit in calories:

•7 x 500 = 3500 = 1 pound of fat. So you could just cut your calorie intake and achieve this.

Also, use the above rule in reverse if you want to get bigger.

Even add more calories,…say by 15%. Not too much as you want to minimize fat gain.

There are foods that boost fat loss (google it):

Broccoli is an amazing vegetable that helps results come along quicker.

Asparagus; I also highly recommend.

Green Tea: drink it few times a day.

Eggs are a great source of protein.

Sweet Potatoes: You can even swap potato for sweet potatoes. They taste better (in my opinion), and are lower GI, so the carbs release slower into your blood stream.

As you eliminate more junk foods from your diet, you will realize that plenty of food can actually be consumed.

One thing to remember, if you want to maintain muscle: use 1.5 grams of protein in your daily intake (for every pound of body weight) to guarantee muscle preservation.

Muscle Gain and Maintenance

I’m a tall, big/stocky guy. I was recently bulking, but now cutting for Summer-time. So my weight constantly fluctuates.

My body requires 2800 calories to maintain current weight, so to reach my goals; I’ve cut 400 cals a day off my maintenance.

I do weight training twice a week which burns about 400 calories per session.

And play football (Soccer) twice a week, which burns around 600 calories per session. So my weekly deficit is 4800 calories.

My diet is high protein, moderate fat, low/moderate carbs.

Using this method, I’m losing just over 1.5 pounds of fat a week whilst maintaining muscle mass and strength.

My clothes feel and fit better!

It works both for men and women respectively.

I’m now planning to stay part of this blog and contribute in many ways; even give my views against his in some instances where appropriate.

Lives of PUA’s can vary in the way we perceive and practice what we do.

Any questions, just ask! I have experience with most diets and have trained many people over the years.

Your boy,


Summer’s almost here guys

I can picture everybody rushing to sign up at a local-finess club right now.

Too late people-June’s already here (hahaha)!

To this day I dont understand why we do it: wait for the last-possible moment to get our asses in better shape and get active.

Ohhhhhhh I see, it’s too cold to go to the gym.

Stop the whining guys!!!!

Im like a marine-drill sergeant on your ass!!

On a psycological note,it’s not just a climate issue nor how cold it is in certain region.

Shit-I live in the Caribbean; 88° weather all-year round. But fitness is still avoided like the plague down here.

So it goes way deeper than how cold it is outside.

And for the record; Im no fitness nut…well I am, but even if I wasn’t, I would still have a beef with the guy who wants to loose 20lbs. in 2 weeks, when he could loose that amount in 3 months healthily.

So get off your asses guys, it’s already late.

You wanna sport that wife-beater or go topless without looking like Andre the Giant -then get moving.

For the guys who are already comfortable in their skin; this post doesnt apply.