Friday Night Field Report: Mission Same-Night Lay

Hey guys, been a while since I knocked up a field report. So here’s one.

Quick note: my smartphone had crashed about a week and a half ago, so I’m currently phone-less and depressed until I find time to invest in another. In the meantime, I’m trying to make the best of this, by gaming without getting phone numbers.

So, on my 1st. night of gaming without getting numbers [Friday night], but solely trying to pull a girl home, it was rather eventful although I didn’t get to pull for the Same-Night Lay.

As my night started around 7 PM on the super busy downtown streets, I proceeded to run some street game [my favorite].

I found myself in a state of gun-shy. I was basically out of state as we’d say in the Game.

I desperately needed that 1 set to warm up and get me in the groove.

Girls passed and passed, but I elected not to open.

I somewhat felt like a newbie chode, rationalizing to myself why I shouldn’t open: “She’s with someone”, “she looks too old”, “that guy trailing her is probably the boyfriend”, she’s walking too fast”, “looks like she’s in a rush”.

I rationalized those bullshit to myself.

An hour passed of me just roaming and standing on corners looking aimless.

I no longer had my phone as a crutch. So I felt like a fish out of water, forced to just stand there anticipating sets for me to open. I felt totally awkward and out of place…without a smartphone in hand just to keep my eyes and fingers occupied.

Walking to the ATM machine, I locked eyes with an HB7 who seemed like she was waiting on a cab. We locked eyes and she gave me an inviting smile as though she was saying, “hey handsome! Come talk to me”.

As I passed her, I beat myself up internally for being a pussy! All my faculties were screaming at me, “Kenny, stop! Go back and talk to her! She wants you”! So I paused in my tracks for just a nanosecond, looked back at the girl who was now about 25 yards behind, but then I said “nah…she’s too far”. Another bullshit rationalization to talk myself out of the approach.

Was this a classic case of Approach Anxiety that I felt?

I wouldn’t say so, per se.

It was more a combination of feeling weird without having my phone as a crutchy wing. The pressure of knowing that I can no longer settle for a number since it was pointless. And the fact that I wasn’t in state (I needed to warm up).
Nevertheless, I beat myself up hard for passing up on a girl who gave me strong ioi and an AI (Approach Invitation).

Feeling so cowardly and looking to redeem my pride, I jetted out of the ATM booth, heading back to see if I spot the 7 still standing on the corner.

“Damn! She’s gone”!

One of the #1 rules in game: “Never put off an approach. The girl will NOT be there when you return. It’s either now or never”!

I chuckled, because as a master Pick-Up Artist, who no longer falls prey to these newbie blunders, it was funny to see me fuck up like this.

I felt good, because at least I wasn’t down on myself, nor feeling dejected.

I was in good spirits for seeing myself fuck up like a noob.

Walking up the bloc, I spotted a cute-ish Slim Jim in white tights, but she was walking ahead of me on the other side of the street (on her phone).

I tried to traverse my way through the crowd so I could cross the street. As I made it across: I lost her.

“FUCK”!!!

“There she is”!

I sat on the corner waiting for her to get near. “You look like you know where the party at”, I said to her. She jolted, a bit confused as to whether I was talking to her or someone else. She smiled, mumbled something, then kept walking off slowly.

Proper thing (in game) was to get up off my ass and walk with her. But I let her go.

Another rookie mistake from a master seducer.

Had I been standing, it would’ve been easier for me to pursue. Sitting made it seem that much more effort-inducing.

Remind you: my mission was to take a girl home (or anywhere for that matter) and fuck her…that same night.

This wasn’t “mission impossible”. More like “mission that I haven’t embarked upon in a great while”.

Back on the prowl, I came across a sexy-looking security guard. As I opened, she said hi but kept walking and talking on her phone. “Probably going to work anyway”, I rationalized.

I then made my way to a square and stumbled upon a Cougar drinking a pina colada with her legs cocked up in the air.

I opened her, “Alone with a glass of pina colada? What’s your story? You got stood up”?

She laughed and went into a story about why she’s on a bench alone drinking pina colada.

She went further to say she’s waiting on her husband who’s nearby, to finish work. I was basically gauging the logistics for the insta-date pull.

Long story short, after about a 15 minute chat-and-flirt, she went on to say that she has to meet her husband.

We parted ways.

I was tempted to exchange numbers, but I knew it was pointless and defeats the purpose of a One-Night Stand pull. So I reluctantly let her go without grabbing her digits.

I was now in the groove.

One good set tends to make that happen when you’re desperately in need of getting in state.

Up and down the active streets like an approach machine, I targeted the hottest girls.

One such girl was tall and slender in mini denim shorts.

I quickly approached her, “you look like you know how to party. Where the party at”?

She smiled and told me about a concert nearby. But she was headed to a bar.

We parted ways.

I circled the bloc a few times and came across a woman in a sexy flower-printed dress: a dress that should effectively be dubbed boner-popper.

As I caught up to her, “You’re looking to turn some heads tonight in that sexy piece of thing”, I said to her.

She blushed and laughed.

We went on to walk and talk for 2 or so minutes.

When we got to the stoplight, she said she was going to a bar across the street to meet some friends and have fun. Not seeing that as decent logistics for me to get her home; I let her go. Before you knew it, she was coming back my way, so I used my finger to motion to her to come to me.

She pranced across the street laughing and goes, “you wouldn’t believe this. No one’s at the bar”.

Whether she was lying or not, wasn’t my concern. I looked at it as a godsend.

We started walking and she suggested grabbing drinks at a bar named Tico’s.

Boy oh boy! This was the breakthrough I needed, fairly early in the night at that!

The sexiest girl I approached for the night, and she’s free to hang out.

She kept saying that her boyfriend is super jealous and he doesn’t allow her to go out. But she basically snuck out. Not my concern. Plus, what are the odds of him knowing where she’s at?

However, she said some shit that kinda had me worried there. She kept saying that her boyfriend is very violent and if he were to see us together, he would surely try to do me harm.

Now, I’m definitely not looking to get into any shit with some jealous boyfriend over his girl.

She went on to recount incidents of her boyfriend violently smashing in her male cousin’s face after he seen them hugging.

The BF never knew that they were related.

I kept saying to myself, “this bitch wants me to hang out with her, yet she’s telling me all this shit about her violent boyfriend, as if this’ supposed to make me feel comfortable”.

As we walked and walked to the bar, she told me that her boyfriend usually hangs out in the area, so it’s best we walk the alleys and side streets instead of the main roads.

Now I started to get real uneasy inside: “Is this bitch tryna get me mugged or some shit”?

Part of me was like, “just be a gangsta about it”. Another part of me was saying, “tell her goodbye…and leave”.

I went along anyway on some macho-man shit.

My biggest fear wasn’t the rage-filled boyfriend running into us. But being set up was. Although it crossed my mind, I went along anyway.

As we got closer to the bar, she kept lamenting about how she’s young and that her boyfriend is trying to control her and shit, and that she just wants to be free to do whatever she pleases.

All fine and dandy in my book, since I’m just here trying to fuck her the same night then adios.

We approached the bar and there were tons of people outside. So I paused and asked myself, “do I really want to risk getting into some shit over potential pussy”?

Sensing my trepidation and iffiness, she asked, “what’s wrong”. I replied, “nothing. Just gotta make a phone call”. I’ll meet you over there just now”.

She walked into the bar then I hauled ass.

“Wait”!

“Her number”!

I turned back and hurried into the bar, spotted her dancing alone and shouted in her ear, “hey, I’m gonna run to a nearby ATM. But if for some reason I can’t make it back, gimme your number and I’ll ring you tomorrow”.

There I went violating the mission’s rule of “no phone numbers! Strictly same-night lay attempt”.

Thankfully, the girl said she doesn’t think that’d be a good idea since her boyfriend would kill her if he found out she’s talking to some guy.

Generally I would plow pass this faux-objection and get the digits anyway. But I accepted the “rejection” since it keep me on track. So I bounced with no intention of returning.

Looking at the time, it was about 12AM, Saturday morning: very early when it comes to pull time.

Be as it may, I stood outside of a Burger King, half-assedly hitting on girls as they pass.

This one girl, shrouded in a white, skin-tight dress with black stripes, captivated my attention HARD!

As we locked eyes, I put my hand out [the hand of God that RSD guys do] and went “stop! You look like you know how to party”!

She smiled and then the chat commenced.

After about 3 minutes, she said she isn’t up to much and is headed up the bloc.

“Bingo”, I said to myself!

“Cool! I was going that way anyway. Let’s go”, I said to her.

The sexual chemistry was heavy as I walked behind of her, playfully commenting on her round ass while she kept saying her ass is flat compared to other girls walking by.

She was low-key pointing at other girls and going “See! See! She has a bigger ass”!

This was just the vibe I needed in hopes of sleeping with a random girl the same night of meeting her.

The (sexual) chemistry between us was off the chain!

Nothing odd stood out to me about this set…until a bit later on.

Our walk-and-flirt continued as I told her if I had my way, I would cock her legs up on my shoulders and do all sorts of crazy shit to her.

She LOL’d.

At another juncture, while walking about a foot in front of me, she abruptly bent over (as if her shoe had come off) and I bumped my cock into her backside and kept it there for about a second while I held her around the hip.

I knew she’d done this on purpose just to tease me.

Again, not thinking of how unusual this was, that I was getting so many IOS (Indication Of Sex) out the gate, but something began to dawn on me as we walked.

We made our way to the red-light district and grabbed 2 wine coolers from a Lebanese fast-food joint.

I knew it was kinda odd that a girl would want to hang out alone in that area which was bustling with prostitution.

Anyway, my plan at that very moment was to get her back to my pad. Luckily for me, the red-light district is within walking distance from my pad, so we were right on track.

As we stood on the corner drinking our wine coolers, she said to me, “You know, since you’re a straight-up kinda guy, I’m gonna be straight with you”.

I didn’t think anything, so I figured she was going to tell me that she has a boyfriend or some other unimportant fact. No big deal to me if she does, I said to myself.

She sounded somewhat hesitant to share with me what was on her mind that she wanted to be straight up about.

My mind began to wonder, “does this bitch have AIDS and is afraid to tell me”?

After a while, she finally broke the news to me when I told her I live nearby [hinted at the suggestion of us going back to my pad].

This was definitely not what I was pondering when she said to me “I’m gonna be real with you: I’m out here tryna make $$$”.

I was somewhat confused. In my naivetΓ©, I asked myself, “does she mean she’s a drug dealer”?

She went on further to say that she usually hits the red-light district on weekends…to prostitute. But not in those exact words. She said she hits the strip for about an hour to show her face, then try to pull potential customers.

I was flabbergasted!

Can’t believe I invested over an hour’s time with this chick. Now come to find out, she’s a hooker!!! Shit, I wished she had told me this from jump street so I could save myself the time wasted!

At that moment, I regretted every bit of conversation we had. I wanted to ask her back for the $$ I spent on her for the wine cooler.

I felt tricked!

Played!

It’s not that I never gamed hookers before in an attempt to try to fuck them without paying. But I knew those girls were hookers!

This girl gave me no clear indication [not that she’s obligated to].

In hindsight, her behavior did seem a bit too ON to be true.

She was too DTF, way too early.

All that being said, I was faced with 2 options:

1.) Take her home, pay for the pussy and fuck.

2y Take her home and try to fuck for free.

There’s just 1 problem with option 1: I never pay for pussy since I always fuck for free. And I wasn’t about to start buying pussy that night! Hence that left me with 2 recourse: abort the mission or try to get her home. Or even try to trick her into free sex [I’ll talk more about that shortly].

I decided to gamble: “here’s the deal; let’s go back by me”, I said to her.

She replied, “I just told you what I’m about”.

I replied, “I know! I understand. You do business. Let’s go back to my place…and do business”.

“I’ll pay you”.

She seemed skeptical as if she smelled a load of shit, as if she sensed that I was trying to pull a fast 1 on her…which I was.

My on-the-fly plan was to take her home, bang her, then sell her some bullshit story about forgetting that I had no cash home, so we’ll have to go to the ATM. But then I would dodge her out.

The only problem with that move is that hookers are inclined to asking for the moola first, before any fucky fucky. And I was NOT going to pay this chick (or any chick) for sex!

She said to me, “how much you have at home”? I said “enough”. She rebutted with “nah. That’s not good enough”. So I’m like, “here’s a deal. We go back to my spot, do our thing then drive to the ATM afterwards and get you your $$”. “Nope”! She wasn’t falling for it.

At that point, I knew that the jig was up, and I wasn’t gonna get a random lay that night.

I gave her my phone # as a formality then bounced.

“Was so close”!

Had this chick not been a hooker, I could already see that my Friday night would’ve concluded with a Same-Night Lay or One-Night Stand: my objective over the weekend of July 27th.

Last Weekend’s Botched Lay Attempt…Update


Okay guys, so last weekend, I posted a field report about this chick who caught an asthma attack while I was 5 seconds away from penetrating her (almost).

You can read that post here as a refresher: https://kennyspuathoughts.com/2017/07/23/asthma-attack-debacle-field-report-in-botched-weekend-plan/

I totally had no intentions of ever talking to her again. So I hadn’t contacted her since last Saturday.

She then hits me up on Messenger days ago.

I posted the following to my Facebook:

Why’s this chick even contacting me?

Anyway, so guys, if you remembered, over the weekend, I posted about a chick who came to stay the weekend (Saturday) with me. She virtually popped up @ the bus terminal and woke me up @ 7 AM telling me she’s coming to stay with me…unannounced…practically.

She did come, but the shit ended on a crazy note with the chick catching an asthma attack. So she had to be rushed to the hospital. Thing that really irked me is she caught the asthma attack as I getting sexual and about to slide my finger up her vaj! 😦

Long story short: I didn’t get to fuck. So she practically wasted my time, wasted a trip, and got me to pay for her cross-country bus ticket (about $115).

She hits me up on Messenger this evening, wondering why I haven’t hit her up since Sunday morning when she bounced.
I explained how it all went down in a field report on my PUA blog (link below).

All in all; after the shit went down the Saturday night, she took the bus back home the Sunday morning after coming for her shit from my crib. I had no intentions of ever saying shit to this chick again.

Dialogue below.


Asthma-Attack Debacle Field Report In Botched Weekend Plan


Okay, to set the table here, here’s a post I made to my Facebook, Saturday morning.

So I was awakened by about 10 missed calls around 7 something this morning. Notwithstanding the fact that I DETEST taking phone calls, I rang the person back.

Girl: “Kenny, I’m boarding the bus but they’re telling me that you never made reservation for me to get on”?

In my stupor, I responded: “HUH”!!?

Remind you, I was night gaming and partying the entire Friday and got home almost 4 AM this morning from an all-white party. So I was still groggy as fuck, tipsy and sleep deprived.

Me: “Who the hell is this”!!?

Girl: “Tanya”!!!

Me: “What were you saying”!?

Girl: “I’m trying to board this bus to come see you, but they’re telling me that there’s no reservation in my name made”!

Me: “And!? What that has to do with me”!?

Girl: “You were supposed to make the reservation”!

Me: “Me!!!? When did we come to that agreement!? You never even told me you were coming to see me”!

Girl: “Kenny, yes I did! OMG! Can’t believe I wasted my time packing and stuff, and now I’m here at the bus terminal, come to find out you never booked my ticket”!

Me: “What! Tanya, you never told me you were coming to see me, let alone to make a reservation for you! When did we ever have that discussion”!!?

Anyway, she kept insisting that we agreed to this a few days ago, that she would come spend the weekend with me.

As someone who diligently keeps a track of his conversations via text, at no time was there ever any such arrangement between this chick and me!

I am not that absentminded to forget such an arrangement! Who would!?

She then came to the conclusion that she might’ve misunderstood me, in thinking that I agreed to having her come stay with me for the day into tomorrow.

Either way, I still call bullshit on it, and I believe it was some sort of game she was tryna run on me.

Nevertheless, although she didn’t have reservation for the cross-island journey on the bus, she was lucky enough to board anyway, as another rider got bumped off seconds earlier.

Now, this’ what really pissed me off (as if the 10 phone calls waking me up weren’t enough):

Girl: “Kenny, I have a little issue. I’m short on cash and I didn’t walk with my debit card to swipe and pay for the ticket”.

Me: “KMFT…so what you expect me to do”?

Girl: “Can you purchase the ticket for me online? I’ll give you back the $$ by Tuesday”.

Talk about royally agitated! I was dumbfounded!

Girl: “Kenny, the bus is waiting to leave but I’m holding it up. Once you make the online buy they would get instant notification and I could sit down and leave”.

Me: “Yo, this is some fucking bullshit! I already blew about $250 cash at the club last night, now you coming with this shit! Make sure I get that shit back come next week”!

I then reluctantly bought the ticket for her online, she boarded and took off.

This was all around 8 am to 9 am. She’s expected to get here sometime after 2 or 3 this afternoon.

BTW, she’s a chick whom I already banged a while back. But she’s been dying to hang out with me again. A week ago, we VAGUELY spoke about her coming by me this Saturday…VAGUELY being the operative adverb!

Apparently, she took that shit literally, and just decided to pop the fuck up @ a cross-country/island bus terminal, and expected that I would’ve made a reservation for her, when the discussion we had a week ago on this, was just mere wishful thinking. 😦


The chick got to my place around 3:30 PM the Saturday.

Since I was beat from the Friday night into Saturday morning [4 AM], partying hard at an all-white party, all I wanted to do was to finally get some frikkin’ zzz’s.

Crawling in from the all-white party

Having sex with this girl was the absolute last thing on my agenda that afternoon.

My body wasn’t able.

Anyways, so I slept while she fiddled with her phone on social media I surmise.

In between sleep, we would chitchat about random shit.

My plan was pretty clear though: “get some rest, rejuvenate myself, then fuck this chick’s vagina out of commission”!

Being that I don’t cook [can’t really 😦 ], hence I don’t store food in my apartment, she got hungry (and so did I), so we went out around 6 PM in search of a fast-food joint.

We got burger and fries and sat somewhere to chow down.

She kept complaining about how hot the place was.

Typical female BS, always finding something to whine about…I guess.

We decided to take a stroll up and down the town.

Knowing how adventurous this chick is, I had a spur-of-the-moment idea: “take her to some undisclosed location and get busy”. 😈 So: that’s what I did.

We sat on some benches and began making out.

I kissed her on the shoulder, neck and earlobe, totally causing her to flutter and moan under my seductive foreplay.

Although she showed every physiological sign of enjoyment and pleasure, she kept fucking nagging about being hot…and I don’t mean sexually aroused hot! 😦 😑

It bewildered me to be honest, because the night was breezy as hell, and I was actually feeling a bit chilly. So to hear her continually moan about the heat, it’s crazy!

In order to accommodate her, though I was set on having some outdoor sex, I figured that it was best to head back home and relax under a fan.

Before we were able to do that, she told me to get her a paper bag.

I’m like, “huh!? Paper ba for what”!?

“Just get me a paper bag Kenny”!

At that point, I thought she was about to throw up for some reason.

Perhaps the food we just ate! But how the heck was I to get a paper bag!?

There was a supermarket across the street, so I rushed across, got a paper bag and handed it to her.

She began blowing or breathing into the bag.

It was sort of scary-looking, to be honest.

I asked her what happened.

She said she has asthma and she forgot her pump back home…across country.

My initial reaction was, “How the fuck did you forget such an essential”!? But I bit my tongue in frustration!

She sat back down on the bench and told me that she was feeling dizzy and fainty.

Now I’m like, “this fucking bitch”!

Me: “Will you be able to walk for a bit? The apartment is just right around the corner”.

Girl: “No! I’m gonna fall down if I try to get up and walk”!

The look on my face was of priceless disappointment!

“Now we’re stuck here”!? I said to myself!

Me: “Do you want me to lift you up or support you as you try to walk”?

Girl: “No. Still gonna fall. Can you get us a ride”?

At that point, I had already spent all the cash I had on me, so a taxi was sort of out the question.

Taxis in this region of the Caribbean, don’t usually take credit/debit cards. Plus I didn’t have a card on me anyway! 😦

Only resort was to walk home (which was only about 8-9 blocs). Or to phone a friend for a ride.

We sat there for a good 20 minutes while she breathed into the bag and complain about being hot and feeling claustrophobic.

Two things were floating through my mind:

1.) I would be damned if this chick comes to stay with me for the weekend, and I wouldn’t even be able to have sex with her!

2.) I actually bought her bus ticket to come stay with me, and now it looks like I might get shortchanged out of the deal!

My mind kept wondering if this was some sort of trick all along. But I seen no plausible reason for trickery here on her part.

Finally, after about 30 minutes sitting in silence, she said that she’ll try to walk.

She got up and stumbled a bit, so I grabbed her.

We walked, she swayed and stumbled like a drunk person.

I was embarrassed to say the least, because the shit really looked like I was walking with a girl who had been drugged or boozed out of her fucking mind.

We walked about 2 blocs and she dropped on her butt on the sidewalk, saying that she needed to strip her clothes off: that she’s having an asthma attack!

“FACK”!!!! I yelled internally!

“Call me an ambulance”! She said to me!

I called the hospital and they rushed an ambulance to where we were, then rushed her off to the hospital.

I honestly couldn’t give a rat’s ass about her condition!

All I wanted was to bang this chick!

All these little sideshows were just that: sideshows!

Going to the hospital to see her was out the fucking question!

Here it was Saturday night, and she’s scheduled to leave Sunday afternoon.

However, depended on how serious her asthma attack is, she may have to stay the night…at the hospital.

Lo and behold- I get a phone call about 20 minutes later- “Kenny, they say I’m gonna have to stay at the hospital on the nebulizer for the night until morning”.

Just as I fucking called it!

I didn’t even want to hear anymore.

I hung up on her and went the fuck home.

This morning, she rings me.

I’m guessing it’s to come from the hospital, and we could spend the rest of Sunday morning fucking like rabbits!

After all, her stuff was at my place since she’s staying with me for the weekend. And she wasn’t scheduled to leave until this afternoon.

As if shit hasn’t already ran a muck; it actually took a turn for more bad news…at least for me.

Girl: “Kenny, I’m gonna have to come pack and leave this morning. My boss called me and told me I needed to be a work by 11 am”.

Remind you: she usually has Sundays off (whole weekend). What are the fucking odds that her boss now wants her at work today!

Me: “Are you kidding me”!?

Long story short: she came to the apartment to retrieve her shit.

She wanted to chitchat and burn some time off before she goes to the bus terminal to catch her bus back across country. But I virtually brushed her off and told her that I had other shit to do.

She left.

Time wasted.

Money wasted! And I hope she refunds me the fucking money I wasted doing her a favor in purchasing her ticket.

I won’t hold my breath on that 1.

Quest To Bang A GILF

[Originally posted to my social media]


​In my quest to bang a sexy GILF (granny) in her 50’s, as if the gods of Pick-Up were rolling with me, back on the 8th of this month, I picked up a lady who seemingly fit the prototype of what I was looking for: a GILF…particularly one in her 50’s.
I spotted the sexy lady in my neighborhood sitting at a bus stop, so I cold approached her, charmed her up, got her phone # and got the ball rolling ASAP!
My plan/intention/mission was pretty clear: “bang this hot GILF”! That mantra kept pumping inside of my head!
I hit her up on Whatsapp Messenger and went straight for the jugular as far as meeting…ASAP (“what are you up to later”?)! 
Long story short: she kinda blew me off the Saturday when I was trying to ask her where she lives. 
The next day: the Sunday evening, she hits me up asking where am I, and that she still wanted the beers that I offered to grab if we were to hang out.
“Yes”! I exclaimed! Just when I thought she was trying to ignore me, she seems down as fuck! She tried video calling me like 10 times, but I was in the shower at the moment. But she did manage to reach me, and we were set to meet up about 10:30 that night…the Sunday night @ a bar/lounge.
However, she flaked on me! In other words; she stood me up. 😦
I honestly couldn’t tell you what happened and why she flaked. The only good thing was, I was already at the lounge anyway, and was planning to go there anyway, so regardless if she flaked or not, my initial plans weren’t ruined. 
So…if it’s 1 lesson to take away here for you guys is: never make plans around a woman. Incorporate her into the plans you already made independently. So if she flakes, it doesn’t derail your plans nor your night.
Anyway, we’ll see how this pans out. Perhaps she’ll hit me up in a day or so. The quest to bang a hot lady in her 50’s continues.

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