Awkward Silence When In The Company Of A Girl [Date Tips]


What is your greatest fear when in the presence of a woman, perhaps on a so-called date, or during the initial conversation upon meeting?

Running out of things to say!

The impending Awkward Silence which follows!

Now- why does this happen [apart from the given, that you simply run out of things to say]?

For starters: your aim to make a great impression.

Everyone knows that it’s awkward as shit to bomb in set. But the pressure of always having to have something to say, actually works to inadvertently cause you to clamp down.

By all means, you should always have something to say! And this is very critical during the pick-up phase upon approaching a girl; whether in person or online.

However, it generally happens, even occasionally to master conversationalists like myself, where silence finds a way to creep in.

The only major difference whenever this occurs within my sets [or so-called dates], is that I manage it [silence] differently rather than allow it [silence] to get awkward.

The nifty trick I use is to Call it out or call for it! 😈

Shit- I’d used this up to a night ago while on a rendezvous…2 nights in succession actually.

If you sense that a moment of silence is pending, whereas you will have ran out of things to say, Mention it!

Say to the girl:

“Don’t you just hate those pesky-awkward silences”?

Girl: “Yea”

You: “Well…1 of them is coming now. Let’s embrace it”!

Bam!

Managed before it came!

As long as you call something out prior to it’s arrival, it has no chance, or less chance, of becoming awkward.

Call it out!

Secondly, what I also do along the lines of calling it out [pending silence], is to say to the girl:

“Hey, hush”!!!!!!!!!!!!

The girl will often rebut with, “Huh? How come”!?

Me: “Let’s just have a moment of silence and embrace it”!

Additionally, I was joke with it and say:

“Hey! We talk too much! Our mouth need a break! Let’s have some silence for a bit”!

Then we would have some silence!

It would NOT feel awkward at all!

You are taking preemptive measures in order to thwart awkward silence.

Therefore, you call it out and usher it in [silence].

The worst position to be in is to just allow it to happen.

Even in that case, it will only feel awkward once you allow it to become awkward by feeling awkward in the first place.

Hence, it is all about the way in which you manage those awkward moments before they come or as they come.

Remember: women feel what you feel!

Emotions and states are transferable!

If you’re nervous: the girl will be!

If you’re jubilant; the girl will also mimic your state of jubilance!

What you feel; she feels!

Hence, under any circumstance; do NOT allow awkward moments of silence to make you feel awkward and uncomfortable, or else the girl likewise feel uncomfortable. So to avoid this altogether, take preemptive measures by:

1.) Saying to the girl that “things seem awkward, so let’s embrace it”!

Or

2.) “Let’s give our lips a rest just for a bit and enjoy some silence while staring at each other”!

Nothing has to be done verbatim…but you get the idea.

PUA Field Report: Hooked Up With My 1st British Girl For The Year

A great portion of my lays during my pick-up tenure come by way of British girls.

For the year however, I haven’t been as fortunate to come across a fair share of Brits.

Earlier in the year, I picked up a British chick from Leicester, England but never got to seal the deal because of her sudden departure.

Before she left, we were supposed to hook up- under the guise of “meeting up” 😈 – at her mother’s place, hence the logistical information in the following screenshots from a recent convo we had over Facebook.

Anyway, some weeks ago, hadn’t already forgotten about her since she departed, something told me to message this chick on Facebook just to say hi…so I did.

To my surprise: she was on island. πŸ™‚

I got straight to work, resuming from where we left off in January, 2015.

The following Facebook Messenger screenshots- though disjointed- says it all.

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After getting lost a couple times I managed to find her place.

The night culminated with some action. πŸ˜‰

All in all guys: you don’t have to take a chick out on a date to get laid.

There are some cases where a so-called date is a given. But there are lots of cases which don’t call for date.

It comes down to your ability to persuade/influence and to make a woman feel comfortable with your vibe…and to use subtle cues which women lay out there for you to capitalize off of.

The reason why women will rarely tell you to come to their place is the lack of comfort factor.

Some guys just do a good job at weirding chicks out.

Bear in mind that over 65% of the girls I slept with, either came to my place [hotel] or they invited me to theirs.

This takes tremendous amount of trust/comfort and persuasive vibe to get the bulk of your lays outside of the traditional-dating realm.

I’ll speak more about this in a future post.

Ciao!

Video-Chat Apps Just May Be Your Ticket To Poon-Town [Comfort-Phase Game]

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There are dozens of mobile-phone apps which include video chatting, popping up every week.

You’re talking about everything from the customary Skype video call app, to Tango and Viber Messengers…which are free by the way.

I routinely hear about Face Time for the iPhone. However, it isn’t a cross-platform app, so it’s much better to deal with Tango or any other app that allows you to connect and video-chat across various smartphone brands.

Honestly speaking; I’m no fan of any of these applications besides for texting and the occasional voice and VOIP capabilities.

However, being somewhat of a mad scientist in the field of seduction and dating: a light bulb flicked on inside of my head, bearing with it a brilliant revelation to facilitate the path towards SEX! πŸ˜‰

‘Comfort’.

In the old school pickup format of Mystery Method, there existed 3 phases of a seduction:

1.) Attraction

2.) Comfort

3.) Seduction

…each leading to the other.

Inherently, this format is applicable to every pickup and seduction which leads to sex.

In order to sleep with a girl, it is a prerequisite to make her feel comfortable…hence the “Comfort Phase” of a pickup and courtship.

What does this all have to do with video chatting over your smartphone?

I’ll explain.

When meeting a girl initially- and this is a stranger to be more specific- your biggest hindrance in getting her to psychologically and physically commit to seeing you again [or for the 1st time], will have been the lack of ‘Comfort’.

When you think about it: she has great and valid reasons to not feel comfortable meeting up with a stranger…especially in such a fucked-up volatile world.

Therefore, safety is an issue. And the fact that she doesn’t know you and isn’t familiar with being in your presence, this will have created much discomfort.

It is up to the guy to make her feel comfortable…hence the comfort phase and comfort game in pickup.

On a side note: this is why social-circle game is much much easier, and why most guys get laid through their social circle of friends, relatives, a peer group, etc.

In such a common situation, the girl doesn’t have much to fear since she already shares mutual friends with the guy.

In essence, he is deemed safe, therefore the girl isn’t likely to bullshit him or fabricate some half-ass elaborate story as to why she cannot meet up.

With that, meeting strangers with the desire to take them to bed, is much more challenging in contrast to trying to hook up with someone with whom you’re familiar.

Digressing.

With video chatting, or even web-cam to web-cam interactions over the computer which is the pioneering apparatus to mobile video-chat apps, this form of communication eliminates the whole stranger dynamics like never before!

The problem with solely texting a girl is that it is super impersonal and has no emotional value attached to it.

This is why girls are notorious as fuck for lying over text.

They aren’t attached to those messages!

After all, they are only characters and words punched into a mobile device and sent off nonchalantly.

This is also why girls are notorious for flaking and standing guys up when they might have agreed to the plans/date over text.

That was just a side tangent to the greater picture.

With the girl actually seeing you in real time- in fact, it doesn’t have to be real time [could’ve been a recording of a video message]- it gives her a sense of familiarity and builds comfort and trust…which is what you want.

Lack of comfort: no pussy…unless it is a case of a one-night stand where everything kind of “just happened”.

Over the past weeks, I’ve been dibbling and dabbling and field-testing this theory of mines, in order to gather some actual proof as to whether this formuli is workable or just a fluke.

To my amazement, the girls whom I’d engaged in video chat were 10 times more likely to actually follow through and rendezvous with me, as opposed to the girls whom I’d only texted.

Talking over the telephone, and even sending voice notes, carry this same weight though to a lesser extent.

Overall, texting is absolutely the worst form of communication when it pertains to trying to set up a date with a girl.

This is why in the old-school pickup philosophy we advised men to only set up the date over the telephone: voice-to-voice.

Voice carries more weight than texts. Just as video interaction carries more weight than voice only [phone conversation]…just as in-person communication- vis-a-vis – packs a way greater punch than any other form of communication between the sexes as it pertains to trying to hook up.

For whatever it’s worth though: always try to move away from the text-only platform towards something more powerful: voice notes, phone calls and video chat.

Buyer’s Remorse: The Unknown Reason Why Girls Stop Talking To You (?)

She bought it, then regretted the purchase!

Buyer’s Remorse: To later regret a decision or action which was made. For example: you purchase an expensive vehicle with your savings, then later regret that decision since everyone is now shaming you about what a bad decision it was.

Buyer’s Remorse In Dating And Pickup

According to my buddy, Alpha Wolf, the author at PUA Lingo, Buyer’s Remorse happens as a result of the guy neglecting to firstly build comfort/rapport with the new girl.

I totally agree!

To simplify for you guys, take note of the following scenario:

I meet a girl,

We hit it off,

We talk over the phone for the 1st time,

During that conversation, we have phone sex.

This all happened before even making a connection/rapport/comfort.

Now, what does a girl do whenever she feels uncomfortable about a situation or someone?

She flees from it…or from that person!

This’ a classic occurrence as the result of Sexting, where Sexting almost always backfires on the guy who was sent the nude photos [that’s if he doesn’t get to seal the deal within a day or so].

Just as the case with phone sex, sex talk or sex with a girl with the exclusion of comfort/rapport: the girl begins to feel slutty and experiences an acute case of Buyer’s Remorse, and as a result- she cannot bear to face the guy again, hence she stops talking to him, stops texting, stops taking his phone calls, etc.

Personally, I am not exonerated from this mishap.

In the past, I had a habit of engaging in phone sex within 10 minutes of chatting to a new girl over the phone.

My ability to getting girls to open up sexually was uncanny…and fucking scary!

There was 1 common theme as a result though:

They would all stop talking to me by the next day! 😯

I had zero clue as to what I’d done wrong to chase these girls away.

“For crying out loud; we had phone sex in less than 24 hours of meeting! They must have liked me tremendously”…so I thought!

Truth was: they did like me very much!

I was just totally oblivious to the concept of Buyer’s Remorse and by extension, Cognitive Dissonance.

It pained me that I was having great results in getting phone numbers, but unable to convert them to sex because the girls refused to answer their phones whenever I tried to set something up.

Having a (new) girl send you nude pictures before building enough comfort with her, will result in Buyer’s Remorse as was the case with the girls with whom I had phone sex.

Don’t get me wrong: phone sex and sexting are GREAT [I still engage in both]!

However, there’s an art to it!

An art which replies heavily on 2 things:

*Timing

*Social Intelligence

I’ll dedicate an entire article to the art of it…so stay tuned for that!

Before I tackle solutions here [comfort building], I wanna talk about Buyer’s Remorse in relation to full-blown sex, since we’ve already touched on its siblings: Sexting and Phone Sex.

Buyer’s Remorse typically happens in the case of One-Night Stands where sex occurs before the girl is psychologically ready for it.

Ok, so you meet a girl at a nightclub.

You manage to take her home or fuck her in the lounge area or the restroom in the venue.

Most likely, she will have had a drink or 2 fueling her system.

Phone numbers get exchanged [terrible idea might I add].

The following day, the girl wakes up sober-minded and recounts while laying in bed, the events from the previous night of clubbing.

She now realizes (with a sober mind) that she’d fucked some random guy from the night club! 😯

Sure she enjoyed the moment in the moment!

However, it isn’t something she wants to have to dwell on or have to face again…unless in the moment.

Hence, she regrets the decision of banging a guy out the club.

She now feels all slutty about it and wishes to run for the hills in shame- praying that no one finds out about this.

As a result: she now has Buyer’s Remorse.

She regretted what she’d purchased the previous night: One-Night Stand Sex.

Now, here comes the guy- you- not knowing what Buyer’s Remorse with women looks like, so you decide to give her a call the subsequent day…oblivious to the girl having a case of Buyer’s Remorse.

Ring, ring, ring, ring…

Ring, ring, ring, ring…

Ring, ring, ring, ring…

Straight to voicemail.

You give it another shot later on that day: same result…which is no result as far as getting her on the phone.

Now, this usually occurs if the girl happens to recognize your name or phone number which she might have saved to her mobile phone book.

If she didn’t save the # with a contact name, hence doesn’t recognize who’s calling, she will likely answer the phone.

When she does recognize the voice on the other end: the guy who’d fucked her the previous night, she will freak out and find a way to end the conversation as quick as possible.

As the guy, you’re left to wonder, “WTF happened!? We shared such a beautiful moment last night”!!

Upon concluding this article, you will have realized that the culprit was Buyer’s Remorse.

Building Rapport And Comfort

Ok, so how do you avoid this happening after sex, after sexting or after phone sex?

Build more comfort before going there!

Comfort/Rapport simply entails the exchange of a deep connection.

This happens when the girl says something like, “I feel like we’ve known each other for ages…and we just met 10 minutes ago”!

Having a connection/rapport/comfort, elicits such statements from either party.

When you build a sufficient amount of connection with a girl, she begins to open up on a real level where she finds herself talking about her fears, insecurities, shortcomings and so forth.

Someone who feels like a complete stranger, will not just open up about those things unless she’s comfortable doing so.

Therefore, you want her to reach the point where she feels such a strong connection, that she doesn’t hold herself back from sharing details of the skeletons in her dirty closet.

This is what we call the “Comfort Phase” in the seduction world.

It is the (unspoken) phase of the interaction where you get to know more about the other person, hence the “Rapport Phase” as it is also called.

You need to have rapport (comfort) in order to get the girl comfortable with you.

However, you absolutely do NOT need to have rapport (comfort) in order that the girl sleeps with you.

Makes sense?

Solely having attraction is enough to make the girl spread her legs or send some naked pictures of herself.

However, it is with the absence of Rapport/Comfort/Connection, that she shuts down due to Buyer’s Remorse after committing the lewd act.

Warning: Don’t go comfort crazy here!

Trying to make a girl comfortable by trying to build rapport or a connection, may also land you in the hideous friendzone. 😯

Too much connection is absolutely the reason why guys get thrown into the “Let’s Just Be Friend” basket.

Therefore, it’s a balancing act in the truest sense of the word.

Too much comfort-building may inadvertently communicate to the girl that you’re seeking to be her platonic friend.

On the contrary- not enough comfort-building- and she’s left to feel as though she doesn’t know you at all, which will make her super uncomfortable if she does become sexual in any way [be it through sex, sexting, phone sex or simply talking sex].

Now, as I stated earlier, a girl will definitely sleep with you without having an ounce of connection.

Just that she’ll regret it afterwards and begin to ignore you as much as humanly possible.

To combat this, you want to balance out rapport and romantic interest.

In other words, you don’t want to come off as though you’re making friends (Rapport)- when in reality- you want to fuck this girl!

Therefore, you must strike a balance in vibe between “I want to be your friend”, and “I want to fuck the shit out of you”.

Simultaneously work both angles!

This isn’t difficult neither.

Through text messaging, you must rely more on the “friends angle” since going too heavy on sex talk over the phone or text, may scare her off.

This’ why it’s very risky to get sexual with a girl over text.

Any little misinterpretation of a text coming from you, may scare her off. And there’s nothing you [the guy] can do to correct this.

In person however, you’re allowed to be more sexual than friendly, in the event that you do miss-calibrate and go overboard, she cannot just push a button and put you on ignore as she does when over the phone.

Once again guys, if you’ve experienced the anomalous situation where after getting sexual with a girl, she suddenly stops talking with you [and I know you have], the reason may very well be a lack of comfort-building vibe, a lack of rapport and a lack of a connection.

In order to avoid this from re-occurring with other women in the near future, you have to build more rapport, comfort and connection, while simultaneously being sexual or romantic, or else you run the risk of being friendzoned by neglecting to build a sexual vibe altogether.

For reference sake, there was a girl I seduced in the club back in 2009 [read: How I picked up the hottest girl in the club].

I took her back to my luxurious-hotel room without an ounce of rapport/comfort. Fucked her on a One-Night Stand pull, then went our separate ways that same morning.

We didn’t know each other but for 3 hours prior to shagging down!

The following day, as a courtesy call, I decided to call her up just to not make her feel as though I’d fucked her and forgotten about her [plus she was the 1st and only squirter I ever met to date, so I definitely wasn’t trying to forget about her as yet].

Her phone rang out!

I must have called her 20 times during the day included text messages…to no avail.

I swore she must have given me the wrong number by mistake, so I asked a friend of mines to phone her from his phone just to be certain that she wasn’t screening calls coming from my phone.

She answered immediately! 😯 😑

I was left to ponder, “What the fuck did I do!? Girls always complain about guys hitting and running. Here I am contacting this girl the day after, and she’s playing games”!?

In all reality, I was the cause of her Buyer’s Remorse.

She didn’t want to see me again, neither did she want to keep in touch whatsoever.

Had I built more of a connection before having sex, the outcome would’ve been different. But my focus was on quick sex. And from that angle; I did everything correctly and I did attain quick Same-Night Sex. But at the expense of Buyer’s Remorse.