When Dating Young Women
A very ponderous headline to say the least.
The most commonly asked question posed to me through e-mail, aside from: “How to fuck girls from Facebook”, is, “My girlfriend dumped me, what did I do wrong”?
This post will deal with exactly the latter question and how it comes down to mismanagement of expectation by both parties, but mainly the man.
Women, whether consciously or not, see relationships as transitional and subjected to changed.
This isn’t only sexual or intimate relationships which she shares with members of the opposite sex.
I’m talking about relationships in every sense of the word: business, friendship, school, social media, etc.
Women for the most part, treat all relationships as vapid in the sense that they don’t attach longevity to them, and are always ready to move onto the next 1.
Whether this is a conscious move or not, is up for debate.
Men on the other hand, with our simple and straightforward framework and outlook on life, we see things and treat things as black and white.
For instance, a male may think to himself:
“There shouldn’t be an exit-strategy to a relationship.
If so, then that could very well compromise the fabric of the relationship in the 1st place.
The goal should be longevity”!
That is the male’s perspective: black and white, no gray areas, no contours, detours nor abstractions.
If only women (namely the young ones) see things this way.
Be as it may, relationships to women are treated as expendable, disposable and replaceable.
By men, they are expected to last in spite of so-called deviant behavior in the form of cheating on the part of men.
In a nutshell, there are 2 contradictory viewpoints there between the sexes in relationships:
Women: short term
Men: long term
Women see their relationships in phases and as phases.
Men see their relationships as things which are to last as long as humanly possible.
Now- who wins out?
Whose viewpoint prevails?
Obviously, you can’t force something to physically stay in a relationship, so the woman wins out all the time by severing ties with a boyfriend, after she will have closed the chapter on a certain phase in her life.
Her current boyfriend isn’t allowed to transition through phases with her.
Thus, he gets dropped/dumped as a prerequisite to the girl moving on.
On a related note, I thought about this deeply the other day as I looked at the trend with women, particularly over Facebook.
Girls are subjected to constant severing of friendships and relationships with their girlfriends aka BFF’s.
One minute, you’ll notice a girl posting a status to Facebook claiming how much she loves her friends and how much this girl is her BFF aka “Best Friend Forever”.
The adverb “Forever”, should be omitted from that coined phrase, as it is a gross overstatement.
Girls [the young ones particularly] rarely believe in “Forever”.
You’ll then notice a week or so later, that this same girl ends up posting to Facebook, saying that she has no friends, “fuck all bitches”, cussing out her bestie, breaking ties, etc.
Such occurrences and drama are very common with girls.
Men hardly ever operate this way towards other men who they classify as friends and buddies.
Men hardly ever officially sever ties with other men (i.e. friends).
We merely just drift apart if anything.
With women and their female friends, “drift apart” isn’t even in the picture. They have heated fallouts, essentially ditching their girlfriends and moving on to the next phase which makes materialize new girlfriends and new BFF’s.
It is quite evident that the sexes see things differently and operate differently.
We treat friendships differently.
Friendship and relationship, actually mean something to men.
With women, it is often times a different outlook.
Ok, so how does this relate to young girls in relationships?
Firstly, let me define “Young”, just to put things into perspective: women between the ages of 17 and 28.
This basically encompasses the entire 20’s.
Women between that age range [17-28], are NOT fit for long-term relationships.
They haven’t reached a point in life as yet where they say to themselves:
“I’m getting old. I have nothing to show for it. What am I doing with myself”?
There are obviously some exceptions. But exceptions always exist.
Ok, so what I’m really getting at here, is the mismanagement of expectations by men, when in relationships with young women [17-28].
Men seem to not realize that it is just for a time [the relationship].
Even more crazy, is the fact that guys with girlfriends fresh out of high school, latch onto their relationships, expecting blind devotion from their girlfriends who haven’t experienced life as yet for themselves.
I get countless e-mails from high-schoolers [boys], saying:
“My girlfriend and I just graduated. We’ve been together since elementary school. But now all of a sudden, she doesn’t want to be together and she wants to break up. What can I do to save this”?
This is probably 1 of the most common e-mails I receive to my inbox. High-school kids [guys] wanting to latch onto relationships instead of living life while they’re young.
This isn’t just a twisted phenomenon with high-schoolers.
College dudes are subjected to the same idiocy.
These guys leave university with a girlfriend whom they might have met in school, still expecting to hold onto that relationship, and expecting the girl to be on board.
Listen- the crude reality is this: a girl will have had multiple boyfriends before she attains the age of 28.
The average Jane who at least possessed an ounce of sanity, was not going to stay with her High-school sweetheart just because.
It is a vast minority of cases where you’d find a girl today over the age of 22, who had only been with 1 sexual partner, or had only have 1 intimate and committed relationship in her life.
Girls, whether consciously or subconsciously, know that relationships are NOT lasting while they themselves are still young.
I don’t need any datum and figures from the so-called expert to confirm what I just said.
Walk the streets and survey women under the age of 30!
Ask them how many relationships have they had since high school to present day.
You shouldn’t be shocked if you hear figures such as 5 or 6 being the standard.
However, RARELY, will you ever encounter a girl between the ages of 25 and 40 , who had only been in 1 sexual and monogamous relation in her entire life.
Women handle their shit differently!
They expect to date around, screw around, jump into numerous relations before actually having a long-term one which they expect to last.
Relationships involving a girl under the age of 28, will rarely ever last [relationships generally don’t last anyway]!
This is simply because a girl isn’t likely to want to settle before she hits 30 [and who would ❓ ].
Women for the most part, only take settling seriously, once their vagina has been fucked out of commission [literally and figuratively].
It is when she will have realized that she’s 29, been in 6 relationships, had over 46 sexual partners, has 1 or 2 kids without stable fathers, feeling pretty lonely…it is then and mainly then, that a woman decides to give the settling thing a thought…or try.
She has nothing to lose as she realizes that she’s unable to compete with the spring chickens who are 10 years her junior.
Settling then becomes a viable option when her vagina will have already been shopworn, and her beauty fades ever so slightly.
However, before a girl hits that juncture in her maturation [let’s use age 29], settling and taking a relationship seriously, will have only been a farce.
She knows it!
To every guy between the ages of 16 and 30 who is in a committed relationship with a girl who’s herself, under the age of 30, please learn to fucking manage your expectations from henceforth!
Stop expecting devotion and unconditionalities from someone [a girl] who hasn’t gathered enough life experiences as yet, to even know what unconditional and committed truly mean!
A girl fresh out of high school or the tertiary-education level, does NOT have a clue as to what ‘Lasting’ is.
Therefore, you’re setting yourself up [the boyfriend] for massive disappointment, in thinking that such a relationship with such a girl, is a prudent decision.
This isn’t the 1950’s when relationships really meant something.
Personally, I wish I knew then what I come to learn now through my personal experiences in prior relationships while in my 20’s.
I wouldn’t have tried so hard to make my relationships work…to no avail.
Ok, so what is the solution to the problem that many young guys face and will face?
I’ve already laid out the problems quite clearly.
The ultimate piece of advice with what I wish to leave you guys [particularly the -30’s], is that you should refuse to settle until you’ve attained the age of 30…at least.
As a 32 year old man to become 33 in February, I say this from experience.
Your teenage years and 20’s [even 30’s and 40’s], should be spent learning about life itself, and garnering as much information as possible to minimize the amount of damage you will have done to yourself.
Experience is the greatest teacher!
However, why throw yourself into a burning building to see whether you’d live or die, when there already exist data and crazy people who’ve done this, and produced the results [death] for you?
I am telling you that girls between the ages of 16 and 29, do not want to fucking settle…even if they verbally claim they do: they do not know what they want!
Therefore, dial back your expectations whether you have a girlfriend and or merely having sexual relations with a girl who falls within that threshold [16-28].
It is to maintain your sanity that you take heed.
As a guy under the age of 29, your sole purpose in regards to women, should be of a sexual nature.
In layman’s terms: SCREWING!
That should be your primary concern when it comes to dealings with girls under 30.
You should not be contemplating relationship otherwise.
Trying to coax a young girl into accepting commitment when she hasn’t even experienced life, is a fool’s play on the guy’s part.
The world is filled with stimuli wherever you turn: the media, TV programs, radio, pop culture, trends, friends, etc.
Everything is working against your favor if you’re a young man who’s trying to lock a young girl into a committed relationship.
Her girlfriends, the ones who claim to be single and disengaged, won’t fucking allow it!
Your high-school sweetheart should be set free to live life, get hurt, feel pain and get burnt. Then she will have had sufficient experiences to know what life is about.
If you don’t let her go: she will liberate herself by dumping your ass anyway [with the encouragement/peer-pressuring of her girlfriends]!
A girl has to live life before she truly commits to any 1 guy.
You as a man, should embrace this and also seek to live life before committing.
It baffles my mind why more guys aren’t harboring this outlook on life: fun first then settlement last, rather than being ass-backwards about it, trying to seek to settle then have fun later…but there will be no time for fun since settling doesn’t mesh with fun.
Why is this so [that scores of young men and men in general, seek relationships when they should be having fun]?
Plain-old scarcity mentality is the culprit here.
Men seek to latch onto the 1st pussy they tap into, because there are no guarantees that they’ll get another pussy to fuck; especially in such a cold-dating world where it is dog eat dog.
Hence, if you had lucked up in getting yourself a girlfriend in high school or college, your inclination is to prolong this entanglement to the end of the Earth.
That is the mentality and adopted outlook of men today, who find themselves in relationships.
It is, “How long can I hold on to this girl”!
Don’t get me wrong, it’d be a coherent outlook only if the girl were on the same page.
However, she wants freedom from commitment.
In fact, she needs it but won’t necessarily voice it unless the stage is set for it.
Therefore, rather than waiting until you’re the dumpee, it’d be the wiser decision to sever the relationship- not by dumping her- but by encouraging her to live life, while gradually weaning her off of you, and you off of her.
Hence, it isn’t a hard dump but a soft landing…for lack of a better phrase.
If she’s mutually on board with the separation via “taking a break”: then that’s even better.
By no means should you be a 25 year old man locked into a committed relationship with someone just as young…or younger, because you think it is love or pre-destiny.
Relationships come and go [the vast majority go].
Thus should be your mindset towards them [relationships], until you will have lived to have more life experiences to then become a well-rounded individual who knows what sacrifice and commitment entail.
This level of life experience [which comes with age and time] CANNOT be reached in your 20’s!
This is advice for both males and females below the age of 29.
Treat relationships as mere steppingstones in life.
I repeat, if you take what I say as pure gibberish, honestly have a conversation with 10 girls whom you know [could be relatives], and ask them if they are still with the 1st guy whom they’d called boyfriend.
I guarantee you that 100% of those girls, will have said “NO! Of course not”!
Therefore, whether you as a guy like it or not [this hard truth]; the reality will remain, while women will continue to fuck you hand over fist due to your naiveté to female psychology and their behaviors in relationships.
If I can go back ethereally and counsel my naïve 23-year old self, I would tell him this:
“For every girl you meet, sex should be your sole intention. How long this sexual relationship last- doesn’t matter. As long as you avoid being sucked into the false sense of comfort of owning a woman via relationship, then you’re good, and you will have avoided undue headache”.
That’s what I would tell myself if I were to go back in time.
Therefore, I am telling you now that you’re still at that gullible age.
Screw all the pussy you can get until you attain a reasonable age where commitment becomes feasible and sane.
I found a video by RSD Owen which hits on the exact-same concepts I’d pointed out.