If you’re a regular around these parts, you will have known my take on “looks”, which is that they do NOT matter!
Looks matter (in dating) as much as pickle on a burger.
It isn’t a necessary component in making a burger eatable or tasty.
Its importance factor would hover around 5-10% in comparison to other ingredients such as ketchup, cheese, vegetables, mayo, sauces and seasonings [the more important components].
Therefore, looks do matter to a girl. But they won’t make or break a guy’s chances (only if he lets them).
However, if all you’re bringing to the table when meeting girls is “Looks”, then that will be your only card to play…which isn’t much.
If you can present women with a variety of qualities in which to chose from, your “Looks” won’t matter 1 bit!
If your verbal game sucks, you cannot lead a conversation and you’re socially awkward and inept, then the girl whom you’re chatting up has no other recourse but to judge you on looks and appearance since your other qualities are dormant or nonexistent.
The Mainstream Media Had Played You For A Fool
Most men garner their dating and courtship advice from the mainstream media and its auxiliary outfits: TV, magazines, Dr. Phil, Hollywood, music, fashion, etc.
Half of this dating misinformation comes from our parents also, but I’ll just deal with the media front for now.
According to the mainstream script: Looks do and should matter to women.
Looks will make or break you [according to mainstream dating].
If you aren’t ripped, jacked or male-model looking, then you’re pretty much fucked out of getting poon!
Hollywood has brainwashed women (and men) into believing that a guy has to fit a certain physiological quota in order to have attraction value.
Unfortunately, most of us have swallowed this pill which now has us deluded as to how attraction works and should work.
The average guy now believes that he’d been fucked in the gene pool when looks and attraction values were being trickled down through the hereditary loopholes.
In other words: a guy of average looks, now feels inadequate with his body, physique and facial composition, since he doesn’t look like a throwback version of Keanu Reeves or Brad Pitt.
Women not knowing any better, has also willingly ingested the mainstream-dating pill, so much so to the point that she now has an “Ideal Type”, which unfortunately doesn’t look like Socialkenny neither you. 😦
Therefore, whenever the average scrub approaches a hot girl, he’s entering the interaction from a lower state of consciousness with a looks complex, while the girl already has a preconceived notion of “type” and “looks”.
This makes for a recipe of “going nowhere”.
The guy who finds himself on the shitty end of this stick [which is most of us], is now forced into the belief that “Looks matter”, therefore he’ll have to settle for an ugly ducking or retreat into a life of brooding and whining about women being evil-little bitches [which explains the existence of failing movements such as the Manosphere and the Men’s Rights].
Little does he know, he was duped into believing looks matter, and since he doesn’t have “Looks”, he doesn’t stand a chance of getting laid, nor can he compete with the Adonis look-alike.
Where Does The Seduction Community Stand On “Looks”?
The position in this community has always been “looks don’t matter”. And if they do: it is very minuscule compared to intrinsic qualities of a man.
I agree totally!
However, over the past 2 years, I notice a mass infiltration of the community by mainstream-dating coaches who peddling the “Looks matter” bullshit!
This is why nowadays you’ll often come across PUA blogs which propagate the “Looks matter” rhetoric, advocating that guys should focus more on their looks (physique and grooming) rather than confidence and core components.
Hence plethora of articles advising guys to hit the gym in droves and fuck any other aspect of lifestyle and game development.
Nevertheless, I’ve always been one of those quaint voices in the seduction community to hold fast to the “Looks don’t matter” ideology, but attitude does.
For clarification sake, when I say “Looks”, I’m not speaking of outer appearance as in one’s style, fashion and wardrobe.
Of course your style is very important to women and is a key component in whether you’ll get laid or not.
However, “Looks” here, and according to the mainstream script, are in reference to intrinsic-physical traits in which a guy cannot change…however cosmetically.
For instance: one’s nose, lips, facial structure (long, short, etc.), chin, eyes, etc.
The features in which you were born with, are what the average person judges as “Looks”, in reference to whether another person looks good or not.
Hollywood, society and the media convince us that if our noses are too long, big or flat, if our lips are too big or too thin, those inborn-physical characteristics would deem us unattractive.
Just as the short guy is seen as a malfunction or physical defect in creation, therefore he isn’t qualified to bang hot models or get laid regularly (unless he has wealth seeping out his rear end).
Well I’m here to share the great news: looks don’t fucking matter…only if you let them matter (which you do)!
What the old-school seduction community teaches (which I subscribe to) is that looks don’t matter.
This is why guys like myself can take total strangers home on a consistent basis, in spite of the non-Hollywood looks: big eyes, broad nose, balding, graying, etc.
De-bunking “Her Type”
Women having types is a myth!
She only believes she has an ideal type [based on looks] due to media brain-washing as men are also subjected to.
Western women are victims of this curse whereas they judge a man’s value largely based on his physical affectations (or lack thereof).
In the mid to far East [the Orients] however, females having dodged the brain-washing of Hollywood and the west, are more liable to find men attractive based on their inner qualities while relegating “Looks” to the back-burner.
Hence to the contrary, a girl living in Toronto on down the Americas to Argentina, is much likely to say:
“I prefer guys with 6-pac abs, full set of hair, beach body, straightest and whitest teeth, perfectly smooth skin, tanned, very tall, slim, not 1 ounce of fat”…
The list goes on.
Men in the west being so dumb-down and media complaint, aren’t smart enough to test this theory to see whether looks truly matter to women.
Instead, the average guy, whenever told that he doesn’t fit the ideal type of the girl in whom he’s vying for, he immediately throws in the towel succumbing to the hype.
Little does he know, women fuck guys who aren’t their types all the time…and most times!
She may verbalize that she desires a man who’s 6’5, tall, dark and handsome.
Yet if you were to be presented with photographs of her last 3 boyfriends, you’ll be fucking shocked to find out that they’re short, not 6’5, not dark or tanned, and not at all handsome.
A woman can only pull this “You’re not my type” shit on guys who don’t understand how attraction work.
She can also get away with it frequently online or through text, where she doesn’t have to shoot you down vis-a-vis [face to face].
It’s much harder to reject someone in person opposed to via text or cyberspace.
This rings true in every aspect of human relation. It’s easier to turn someone down when he or she isn’t sitting right in front of you.
Keep note of that!
In person, a random chick whom you aren’t acquainted with, rarely ever has the balls to reject a guy outright, under the guise that he isn’t attractive enough for her time.
The social pressure will have been too thick.
This is why girls are notorious for giving out fake-phone #’s instead of outright saying “NO, I won’t give you my phone number”, in adamant fashion!
The average girls does NOT want to risk seeming like a social-violating bitch who goes around breaking guys’ hearts. Therefore she’s more likely to cough up her phone # to a guy whom she has zero attraction for, instead of having to risk seeming like a social bitch by not giving him her phone #.
Also, this is why if a girl gives you her phone #, it is NOT an indication of her interest in you [contrary to popular belief]!!!
There’s an 80% chance that she’d given you her phone # solely to get rid of you, or just to avoid the social awkwardness of crushing your little-fragile heart the hard way.
If she cannot let you down easy, her plan b will be to give you a fake phone # or give you her real # but simply not answer whenever you call [this sucks I know]. 😦
That’s the sad truth, which is why I advocate that guys should NOT get girls’ phone numbers, because the reality is: 8 in 10 times (9 in 10 sometimes), she isn’t interested at all, and it will lead to nowhere-land.
On the point of texting and online messaging, just as with the phone # conundrum, a new girl can easily shut you down because you don’t fit her perceived “ideal type”.
Therefore, if she’s into guys who are 6’5, athletic-built and you’re a 5’8 pudgy dude, she can simply screen your dating profile and reject you without a forethought: smooth as a cucumber [no social pressure on her].
In that arena [online or text]: she can use “looks matter” to her advantage, and she’ll stick to her guns on the subject of “type” (which you’re not…unfortunately).
Now, how would this play out in person if this was a random girl whom you’d bumped into while out on the town or simply grabbing groceries?
Much differently…assuming you know how women work [which you probably don’t yet].
The mistake the average guy makes when in person (even on dates), is that he foolishly asks the girl:
“So…what’s your type? What kinda guys are you into”?
When he doesn’t match up to her superficial preferences, he immediately feels a sense of inadequacy which propels him to forfeit the game.
Had he not asked altogether, he could’ve simply proceeded with the assumptions that he is her type, or that types don’t mean shit and looks don’t matter!
Better luck next time buddy. 😉
Seducing Women Even When You’re Not Their Type
The belief that “looks don’t matter” is a prerequisite!
Approaching women from a position of “I hope she likes me”, is a doomed place of reference.
You either approach her from the “looks don’t matter” frame, or that you’re a walking god in the flesh whom she’ll be begging to go home with!
Never approach a girl with the preconceived notion that she’s the prize in which you’re trying to win [a position of lower-social value].
Your approach should signal that you’re the prize, and she will have to prove that she fits your ideal type.
In Pickup, we call this re-framing and role-reversal.
Very powerful-psychological technique.
Apart from “the approach” and the mindset of approaching [the framework], you also must take note of the process and have your mind in the right place.
The reason you believe looks matter is because of Hollywood’s brain-washing campaign in cahoots with the mainstream media outfits.
You’ll have to detach this belief immediately!
As for your “Looks”, which will be your greatest hindrance [assuming you don’t have entertainment-biz looks], you’ll have to learn to become comfortable in your own fucking skin!
That means accepting the way you are: short, fat, balding, big ears, long-nosed, bugged-out eyes, broad nose, un-flattering smile, protruding lips, etc.
You will have to learn to become confident in that raggedy skin, or you’ll have 2 choices:
1.) Never get laid (again)!
2.) Cosmetic surgery!
Neither is a decent boat to ride in.
A good way to handle this [self-confidence deficiency] is through mantras and affirmations which most newbie PUA’s are encouraged to do in order to get themselves psyched up and “in state”- in the right state of mind that is.
You want to ground yourself in that novel belief…even delusionally so!
Perception becomes reality.
Hence, if you can perceive yourself as a god incarnate, the hottest-fucking guy on the planet whom women find irresistible, and really believe it in conjunction with your affirmations; thus will be your reality!
You’ll begin to ooze this aura of confidence and project it unto women you interact with (face to face that is).
Just as your negative, non-confident aura and perception project unto women in such a way as to repel them.
I stress “Face to Face” because guys don’t seem to realize that confidence cannot be conveyed through text messages, the phone nor through Facebook [which is why you should quit trying to pick up girls over the phone].
Ok, so you have to now approach women with a new mind, new mindset, new frame, new reality, new aura concerning your looks and physical appearance which are tangible components that you cannot alter [even if you have cosmetic surgery, your core will still be fucked-up].
Now putting this all together, you will have been a brand-new man, a sexy man with confidence, who can then fuck Hollywood and the media in their shallow asses for selling you lies on dating and attraction your entire life!
Confidence As Your Ally
I am not what the media nor society classifies as “attractive”.
For starters: I’m black, balding (although not apparent), bearded, not buff, big lips, big eyes, etc.
In the eyes of the average shallow-minded American girl, I’ll probably register as a 6 on the virtual-looks scale.
Surely that isn’t my perception.
In Kenny’s world: I’m a fucking 10 +! 😉 😉
That’s the difference!
Therefore, when am approaching a hot stunner, I’m showing up with a very dominant and confident frame.
Not with looming questions of:
“Am I hot enough for her”?
“Am I tall enough”?
“Does my balding show”?
“Am I her type”?
I interact with newly met women as though they’re auditioning for a slot in my cum-stained bed.
She will have to live up to my expectations and quota!
Not the other way around!
This is confidence with an air of cockiness!
Don’t let anyone fool you into believing that cocky doesn’t work.
Any guy who tells you that being cocky is a turnoff to women, is obviously a self-righteous prick who wishes he had the balls to approach women with cockiness.
It just depends from where it comes.
Are you cocky about having money and wealth [cockiness from a bad place], or are you cocky about your physical appearance and social value [a not-so bad place]?
Whenever I approach women, I’m cocky in the belief that she wants to sleep with me, she cannot resist me and that I’m a walking, talking attraction-machine.
Cocky and Confident are related states. Cockiness is basically an exaggerated and over-confident state of being.
However, just as girls sleep with guys all the time who aren’t their type, they often sleep with cocky guys also…who may not even be their type.
I always refer back to MTV’s Jersey Shore reality show, where the cockiest and most unattractive guy in the house, attracted the most girls, and got laid the most [Mike The Situation].
That’s another example of confidence, cockiness, asshole-ism and jerk behavior being attractive to women on a subconscious level, while women will never verbally acknowledge this since they aren’t aware of it.
Confidence + “Looks Don’t Matter” Frame = More Ass
Alright, putting the other pieces together with what we have thus far: a new awareness, new approach, new mantra, confidence and so forth.
Attitude and the skills to seduce!
if you aren’t an attractive guy [to societal standards], your attitude and ballsiness will be the biggest things you have going for you.
Even if you were the hottest guy on the planet; you’ll still need attitude, charisma, charm and know-how in order to attract and get laid.
It’s a fallacy that good looks get you laid.
If you’re a great-looking guy but have zero know-how of attraction and women, then your only chance of getting laid [barring cheap hookers] is by luck or being introduced to a girl through your social circle of friends.
You must understand that the average guy, irrespective of his social status or looks, gets laid through his social circle of friends or relatives playing matchmaker and hooking him up with a friend of the family, or a friend of his sister’s or something of that sort.
It’s a classic case of: “Hey sis’, what’s up with your friend Lisa, is she single? Can you hook me up…please”.
His sister then formally introduces him to Lisa. Despite not having any Game, weeks to months later, he gets to sleep with Lisa solely based on the social-circle dynamics of his sister.
That is how the average guy, handsome or ugly, gets laid…periodically nevertheless.
The average good-looking guy [according to societal standards] is NOT hitting the streets picking up tons of strangers as we Pick-Up Artists do!
He often times only has “Looks” going for him but deficiencies in every other area of the game. So having great looks do NOT make your chances easier (contrary to popular belief).
I am no Adonis, but I surely carry myself as though I’m one through my mannerisms, attitude and the way in which I communicate with women whom I don’t even know from Adam and Eve.
I don’t approach women with looks being a liability.
If a girl doesn’t fancy me based on what she sees [my physical appearance], and I don’t surmount to her standards and likings; this is something she’ll never say to me due to social implications [people are often afraid to outright offend others].
She will have to convince me through her actions that I’m not her type and that looks do matter so much to her, that she won’t go home with me…at which point she’s free to walk away if she truly isn’t interested.
I cannot begin to count the number of girls whom I’d slept with over the years, who afterwards while cuddling in bed, would say to me:
“You’re not my type. I can’t believe this happened”.
A whopping 80% of the girls I take home for One-Night Stand sex, said that I wasn’t their type.
I believe them!!! 🙂
If you’re seasoned in the art of seduction, you will have heard similar sentiments from random women after the fact (post-sex).
This is further confirmation that Looks and types do NOT fucking matter…as long as your core confidence is half decent to solid, and you know how to lead and seduce women!
However, if you’re an ugly guy trying to get laid via the internet or collecting phone numbers; then you won’t have much success being a keyboard-jockey.
Looks do matter when you’re not in front of the girl as I expounded on earlier.
This is why you should get the fuck off the couch and the internet [even if it means not reading my blog] and go meet real women in person and try to take them home that same day or night!
In my previous post, I posted a video from The Good-Looking Loser which makes manifest everything I’d written about here.
In spite of his internet moniker [Good-Looking Loser], Chris is NOT NEARLY society’s idea of “good looking”.
He’d most likely fall into the unattractive bracket if surveyed by women.
Yet his inner and outer confidence are so solid, that he’s able to make out with hot girls whom he’d only met minutes prior…to taking them home…the same day.
On that note, I’ll leave you with 3 videos from GLL which showcase that Dominance, Confidence and Attitude trump good looks any fucking day of the week!
If after this you still believe that looks matter in attracting women and getting laid; then do all of us a little favor and please kill yourself you waste of fucking semen!
Ok that was really hash I’ll admit.
Anyway, need more video proof of “looks don’t matter?
How about RSD Owen, the pickup guru and PUA-dating coach?
He isn’t attractive at all [according to societal standards, and even he jokes about being ugly].
Do looks matter to him?
Do looks prevent him from meeting, seducing and banging hot strangers?
Watch the video and find out.
All in all; looks don’t fucking matter…only if you let them [by lacking self-confidence].