One way in which guys blow their chances of securing a phone number, date, sex, etc. is by jamming it down the girl’s throat.
No, No, No, I do not mean jamming your dirty-little pecker down her actual throat. I mean jamming texts down the girl’s proverbial throat by persisting when the girl (or the vibe) is lukewarm or even cold.
Here’s the deal; whenever a guy texts a girl, but her replies are 1-worders: hmmmm, no, yea, yes, okay, ok, cool, hi, fine, I see, or anything of the like, for whatever reason, those are usually signs of non-engagement, and often non-interest.
The only exception here is when dealing with a very shy girl who doesn’t usually have much to contribute besides 1-worders per text.
Additionally, how could you tell whether the girl is simply not interested in you, or perhaps she’s busy, hence cannot engage you fully in text at the moment?
I’m usually keen on this right away. But for you, you can throw out there (via text) a feeler, by saying to the girl something like the following: “I would like to grab a drink with you sometime. Perhaps next week”.
That is a feeler. You’re basically feeling out the girl: feeling out whether she’s remotely into you or completely isn’t.
If her reply to your feeler is in the negative- for instance, she says, “Won’t be able to”- then it is safe to say that she isn’t interested.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you should throw in the towel entirely. But you should employ the strategy which I will use with the girl spoken of in this post [drop it until another time].
On a related note, always try to take into consideration things that could be happening at the moment…unbeknownst to you.
Although the girl’s response to your feeler might have been a shot down, perhaps she had a shitty day, her dog died, boyfriend issues, etc.
Therefore, don’t take every cold or lukewarm response from the girl to mean she isn’t interested or doesn’t like you.
Okay, so here’s a brief interaction from over the weekend (Sunday) with a hot-bodied bartender.
[My messages in blue]
Honestly, I think we might have texted before, though I see no indication of it.
Okay, so this apparently wasn’t the most sizzling interaction I’ve ever had.
For whatever reason, the girl kept her responses pretty concise and short.
The fact that she said that she doesn’t particularly work weekends, is a great indication of her possible openness to meeting up with me. If she’s flat out not interested in me, she would lie and say that her weekends are booked up with work.
However, short replies are generally signs of 4 things:
1.) The girl is very shy
2.) Busy at the moment
3.) Not that keen on me yet
4.) Not interested at all and doesn’t like me
Which 1 is it?
Since I threw out a feeler when I said to her about the pizza and pina colada in the city at a specific food-joint, and she didn’t decline: that was an indication of (remote) interest.
Had she said “no thanks”, or anything of the sorts, then it would’ve been a situation of the girl not being interested, or likely doesn’t like me (or isn’t attracted to me/my vibe).
With that being said, since the vibe was lukewarm and her responses were brief and not engaging, I do not jam it down her throat at that moment!
In other words, had I persisted with the texting when the girl clearly wasn’t fully engaged, I would’ve likely gotten blown out in the form of no reply from the girl.
Hence the reason I say to you: Drop it until later!
I already got the bartender chick to okay to a meetup with me for pizza and drinks (perhaps in another week). So that alone [the feeler] was enough to give me reassurance that she’s down.
Now, here’s another key point, and a classic mistake that lots of guys make: had I tried to number close the girl then and there, when the interaction is lukewarm, what would’ve happened?
Bear in mind the little tidbit I shared with you from the previous post: when going for a girl’s phone #, ensure that it is done on a high note.
What that means is that you shouldn’t try to #-close at a point during the interaction where things are lukewarm or cold.
Hence, I discontinued the chat with this chick.
I will resume by throwing her another message perhaps 2-3 days from today.
By doing so, I will have also shown the girl that I have social intelligence: I was aware enough to know that the interaction was lukewarm, hence I discontinued until a later time. That is social intelligence in such a case.
However, guys typically make the mistake of doubling down on texting when the girl just isn’t biting much.
You have to learn how to be smart here and re-engage the girl another time!
Another ill-conceived idea which propels guys into making a common mistake, is the notion that they have to pick up the girl during the first interaction online or else they fail!
Guys: the girl isn’t going anywhere!
Having her as online friends, or merely knowing the name to her online profiles, is akin to having her phone number!
You can contact her at will, just as if you had her phone #!
Thus, there’s no logical reason for you to rush the conversation when it just isn’t there at the moment (during the initial round of messaging).
If it takes 2 to 3 (or even 10) separate rounds of inboxing over the course of days/weeks, for you to get the girl to bite and open up if she isn’t engaging much; then that’s what it takes!
Therefore, with this girl, because the initial conversation wasn’t sizzling in the least, I will employ that general stratagem of mines [drop it until later] and re-engage her sometime later. Upon a warmer reception, I will seek to grab her # and perhaps solidify the rendezvous.
Additionally, though I’m fully aware of this, you should also bear in mind that this girl is a hot bartender. With that, it is safe to say that she has tons of desperate chodes flooding her inbox every second, begging for her number, dates, sex, her time, offering to give her thousands of dollars just to sniff her ass-crack and so on. 😯
With such a hot girl, you have to exhibit more of a laid-back vibe, or else you run the risk of being lumped into the desperate loser basket.
I’ll keep y’all posted.