Example Of Girl Trying To Put Me Into The Boyfriend/Provider Frame After + Truths About Relationship

Women are very cunning and subtle in their attempts to corral and lock high-value Alpha males into monogamous entanglements, otherwise known as relationships.

I tell guys this all the time, particularly those who are gung-ho about getting a girlfriend:

“Quickest and easiest way to get a girlfriend is to have sex with the girl first”.

Hence, your aim should always be to sleep with the girl. Anything else (such as a relationship) should be secondary.

Once you will have slept with her, she is likely to try to become exclusive and to change up on you in subtle ways.

However, guys being the idiots they are, go about this (relationship) the wrong way by chasing girls down and begging them to be with them. Instead, by merely banging the girl, there’s a 7 in 10 chance that she will try something in hopes of trapping you into a relationship.

Hence, it becomes a situation where the girl chases you for a relationship, and not you chasing her for it.

In conjunction with that, is an attractive Alpha-Male frame.

What do I mean?

Well- if you want a girl to want you on a serious level, 1 way to shortcut this is to become (or act) like a man who’s well desired.

I won’t get into details on Alpha qualities right now. But general principles of an attractive man apply.

Thus, once you would’ve slept with a girl, while having this Alpha aura about yourself, 7 in 10 girls will try to angle and devise ways of quickly getting you locked down in a relationship.

Last night, I had the following text exchange with this girl whom I’d been banging for the past 4 weeks or so.

We’d only had sex on 4 different occasions.

Watch how she tries to push the relationship frame on me.

By the way, last night she was to meet me at a karaoke spot for drinks then go back to her spot. But because she took so long to show up, I suggested going by her instead in 1 swoop.

Pay close attention to what she does/says when it comes to sex.
[My texts in green. Hers in white]




Now, I knew what she was up to from the get-go, since I go through something similar to this on a monthly basis with every 4 in 7 girls I would’ve slept with.

I knew that the reason she was trying to take sex off the table and to cuddle instead, was a ploy in hopes of getting me used to the boyfriend role of just hanging at her house, watching TV and so forth.

My answer was quite simple: NO!!!

If we’re not fucking, I am not coming by you!!!

Hence the reason I told her “fuck it; I’m going home instead”.

Most guys would not have called it off: largely stemming from a frame of desperation.

However, once you have abundance with women, you won’t accept positions which compromise your ultimate goals.

This have been the 2nd time this chick tried to pull this clingy shit on me, which was why I responded the way I did out of annoyance (though I was exaggerating annoyance somewhat).

She knows I’m not looking for anything serious but to hook up. Yet she attempts these subtle tricks in order to force me into a relationship/provider type of frame.

As I mentioned earlier, every 7 in 10 girls will attempt this once you would’ve slept with her (provided you’re an Alpha with options in her eyes).

Okay, so why is she trying to lock me down? Because she sees me as The Alpha Male.

She sees me as a guy who can enhance her social status and social standings.

Those 3 things are what they come down to with most girls:

Status, Standings and Social Value.

She wants the ego-boost of being able to brag to her girlfriends that she has captured and tamed an attractive wild man (attractive in the sense of personality and NOT looks).

This is bragging rights for women!

Secondly, another reason why she’s trying to lock me down (and this relates to the 1st point), is simply to get me off of the proverbial dating market, away from other women.

Again- the competition factor- with bragging rights as a spoil of victory.

If she manages to remove me from the dating market, she succeeds in having me for herself.

This is all fine and dandy if I wanted a relationship. But since I don’t; I know better than to allow myself to be cajoled and caged into such entanglement.

Furthermore, there’s a hidden reason why most girls will push for an LTR (Long-Term Relationship): They don’t want to appear slutty.

What is a woman’s #1 fear as we teach ad nauseum in the pickup community?

Her primary fear is to be perceived a slut.

No girl in her right mind would want to give off the impression that she’s okay with casual sex over a protracted period of time.

Hence, she will either do 1 of 2 things:

1.) Try to lock the guy down into a relationship

2.) End the fling altogether in order to save face

Realistically, a fling cannot last indefinitely (forever).

A fuck-buddy situation either transitions into a monogamous relationship, or the fuck-buddy situations ends. But it cannot last on a consistent basis for a long period of time without the girl (or the guy) catching feelings.

With that being said, in order to save face in hopes of not being perceived as a wanton harlot, a woman will try to trick the guy into a relationship unbeknownst to him.

That is why and how the vast majority of relationships evolve from sex: the girl tricking the guy into exclusivity, by consciously pulling back on sex, while simultaneously getting the guy to accept cuddling, watching TV, hanging out, etc.

Next thing you know, within 2 weeks time, the girl is referring to you as babes, baby, bae, “my man”, etc.

This is all a subtle plan/trick on the girl’s part, as a way to protect her reputation, image, esteem and social standings.

It has nothing to do with this cushy idea of love and mutual feelings!

It’s all about protecting her social value, while taking you off of the market from other women.

I wrote about this at length in a controversial article some years back.

Don’t let her tame you

In relation to the girl written about in this post, we had been hooking up for about a month now.

She knows, just as I do, that hooking up with no strings attached has a due date.

It has only been a month, we only had sex 4 times tops, and she’s already trying to push the boyfriend agenda by scaling back on the sex while trying to get me to do more of the boyfriendy stuff.

On a related note, this is where most up-and-coming PUA fail on their journey towards mastery.

They get into pickup as novices/newbs while they struggle over the course of 6 month with slow progress.

They eventually manage to pull and get their first lay.

Now, instead of moving on from that 1st lay or fuck-buddy relationship to gaming other girls, they stupidly succumb to the power of novel pussy and women, and- “POOF”- they quit the game of pickup, to instead embark on a relationship with the first girl whom they’d managed to f-close.

Having had just minimal experience with women, these guys aren’t relationship-ready in the least, thus their new relationship sours quickly due to their Beta-Male idiosyncrasies, and the girlfriend subsequently cheats on them and dumps them for another guy.

In my estimation from the analysis of data throughout the PUA community, this happens to more than 70% of guys who get into pickup.

They prematurely rush into exclusive relationships with the first girl they managed to sleep with.

They feel that they no longer need to learn about pickup and women- since after all- they have the prized girlfriend…until they get smacked with the rude awakening 4-5 months later.

Saying all that to say, the lure of having a woman to claim as your own, is a very power 1 for most guys.

Just as women want bragging rights to say that they have a boyfriend. Most guys want to brag and show off their new girlfriend also, to their family, buddies, post pics on social media, etc.

It is very fucking addictive (the lure of claiming someone).

However, a serious relationship just isn’t worth it, until you’ve at least slept with a moderate to generous amount of women, whereas you would’ve gained experience and knowledge about women and dating.

Therefore, always be on the alert for the subtle tactics employed by women whom you’re currently sleeping with.

Stick to your fucking guns!

If you truly desire a relationship with that particular girl- by all means- go for it!

However, if you aren’t looking for anything serious, and you desire to play the field, then you ought to be aware of the almost inevitable situation where the girl will try to suck and sucker you into monogamy.

I’ve been through this hand over fist! So I speak from experience as it relates to the subtle trickeries of women.

Alright, for argument sake, let’s say that I had conceded and agreed to hanging out with the girl last night: with no chance of sex.

The key difference here is that she’s someone whom I’d hooked up with before. This would not have been a problem if I’d never slept with her before.

Anyway, so had I gone by her last night to hang out, watch TV, cuddle and eat pizza or some shit, with no chance of sex happening since she made it clear that it isn’t on her agenda, what would’ve been the notable frame set?

First off; I would not have benefited an ounce from last night, since sex is all I wanted, and she wasn’t up for it.

How about her psychological gains?

She would’ve managed to slowly push her agenda of exclusivity and monogamy.

Now, let’s say that last night would’ve happened that way- I visited her to chill, and no sex- chances are, she would suggest the same thing on another occasion, perhaps inclusive of sex the following occasion.

What will eventually happen is this (perhaps on the 3rd occasion from that point): I would be lying in bed, thumbing through my phone, probably texting other girls, etc. with no trepidation or fear since we aren’t together, then the girl will likely say something as follows:

“Why don’t you give the phone a rest”


“Out of curiosity, who are you texting so often”?

You get the picture, right?

Those questions and statements will surface as a way for her to feel me out, gauge the relationship push, and to subsequently lead me into the direction she wants to go.

Over time, I would gradually begin to either hide the fact that I text others (in her presence), or put away my phone altogether.

Technically, I would’ve had nothing to hide since I am NOT beholden to her!

However, on a subconscious level, it will play on your mind! You will feel as though you are doing something wrong by interacting with other women in her presence.

You may get a phone call from another girl whom you’re hooking up with. But you’ll decline to answer…though you logically shouldn’t decline.

You see what’s happening here?

The girl manages to put this into your psyche and subconscious, by making you feel as though you shouldn’t engage other women.

Gradually, perhaps 2 weeks down the line, and unbeknownst to you; you are now locked in a monogamous relationship which you didn’t agree to, since you had no idea it would’ve led to this.

When men think of relationships and how people ought to get into them, we think of mutuality: a relationship should be mutually agreed on by both parties.

Does it ever happen that way beforehand?


In a woman’s mind, a relationship shouldn’t, or doesn’t have to commence on mutual basis.

As long as she wants it bad enough (in order to protect herself from being perceived as a slut who sleeps around); that’s all that matters to her!

Since guys think that relationships are firstly discussed by both parties before entering them, we often times get blindsided by the relationship when we happen to find ourselves in it a month later.

Why don’t most men just pull out of relationships after they would’ve realized that it was unfairly hatched and manipulated by the girl(friend)?

Three things:



•Scarcity Mentality

Complacency: “Why the heck not!? How bad can it be after all”?

Sex: “The sex is awesome. For crying out loud, I don’t want to go back to fucking my palms at night like a fap-monkey”.

Scarcity Mentality: “I have no other options. This is all I have. If I walk now, I may not get another girl to fuck for the next 3 years”.

Those are the 3 reasons why a guy will never protest and walk, upon discovering that he’s been tricked into the boyfriend frame.

In less than no time, like a crooked government, the girl will have stripped away your rights to engage in any activity concerning another woman.

Interestingly, men who eventually go on to cheat, are those who resent the girlfriend for what they (the men) perceived to have been a wrong and an injustice perpetrated against them: stripping away of their rights, etc.

On a subconscious level, the guy feels justified in cheating because he’s now fount himself in a relationship that was ill-conceived without him having a say.

Women reading this article should let that sink right in whenever they complain about a cheating boyfriend.

Perhaps the guy resents you for having tricked him into monogamy before he was ready for it. ❓

As for myself on an even more personal level, as you’d seen from the screenshots above; I don’t find myself imbued in, and bogged down in such sticky situations because I block any attempt by the girl to trap me into an unwanted LTR (Long-Term Relationship).

In spite of that, it isn’t akin to rocket science. Women will try their earnest best to ration sex while indirectly blackmailing you into exclusivity aka a monogamous relationship.

Again- if that’s what you truly want then let it happen!

I on the other hand, enjoy abundance with women, and I have tons of options from which to choose. Not because I’m anything inherently special, but I’ve worked to create and cultivate those leads. Hence, there’s no incentive on my part to putting myself in a position where a girl will try to put me in the boyfriend zone by switching things up on me.

Thus why I was able to flat out tell this girl in no uncertain terms was I coming over. Also, if it isn’t about sex, I am not coming to her house to fucking watch television and cuddle.

With options, no 1 girl becomes anymore special than the next.

3 thoughts on “Example Of Girl Trying To Put Me Into The Boyfriend/Provider Frame After + Truths About Relationship

Add yours

  1. Kenny,

    Good article. And, I have a question: Do you think that women have that fear of sluttiness because of an unhealthy view of sex in a lot of ways in the western world?


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