To Cuddle Or Not To Cuddle After Hooking Up

One of those under-talked about subjects in the pick-up and seduction world, is post-sex management strategies: like, “What you should do after sex”.

“To Cuddle or Not to Cuddle”?

Why is this topic so neglected?

Well- after all- having realized the aim of sleeping with the girl, would’ve been the most important goal on the seducer’s checklist.

Anything after sex will have been a mute point.

This is well understood. And to an extent: I agree.

However, if you’d like to have another go at it, or perhaps to make manifest a little fling situation between the girl and you, then what you do after sex becomes very crucial in the grand scheme of things.

“To Cuddle or Not to Cuddle”?

Should you cuddle after hooking up?


It depends.

It depends on your ultimate or immediate aim.

If you care not to see this girl again- by all means- CUDDLE with her after shagging down!

Sounds really counter-intuitive [I know].

Coupled with your aim, is the girl’s aim(s) also. Does she want a prolonged fuck-buddy situation, or a 1-off?

If the girl does indeed want a 1-off, then cuddling after sex will not hurt anything in the future.

The trick is; you won’t exactly know with certainty what a girl truly wants in the long term.

For instance: you can’t exactly say to the girl before hooking up for the first time, “You want to just fuck or do you want something more serious”??

Why can’t you just ask her that?

You are likely to get the safest answer, the answer which makes her seem less slutty.

Which answer is that?

“I want something serious”.

The girl may very well desire just a 1-off. But because she doesn’t want to appear slutty, she’ll lie about her end-game goal.

With that being said, since it is difficult for the average guy to discern whether the girl wants a 1-off, fling or a relationship, he should approach every sexual encounter with a new girl as though it’s a 1-off.

Would you care to cuddle for 2 hours like love birds with a girl whom you knew for certain only wanted a 1-off?

Of course not.

The thing is also, even if the girl quite clearly stated to you (genuinely or not) that she does in fact want something serious, you should still approach the situation of sex (after sex) as though it was just a 1-off, hence there’s no real need to cuddle since you 2 will have had no further sexual contact in the future.

“To Cuddle or Not to Cuddle”?

Okay, so, why shouldn’t you cuddle after hooking up?

Doing so will have (sub)communicated to the girl that you want something serious.

Chances are: the girl doesn’t (no matter what she says of the contrary).

Hence, you’d rather err on the side of non-serious (no cuddling) than serious (cuddling).

If the girl truly wants something serious, she may very well think that you’re an insensitive prick for hauling your clothes on and leaving after sex. But she’s likely to state that at a later time. So there’s always a chance for you to correct that and cuddle somewhat (if the girl states her gripe with the fact that you don’t cuddle after sex).

Again- it’s safer to err on the side of no cuddle.

Here’s the deal: when you look to cuddle after sex with a girl whom you’d just hooked up with, it usually has a precarious way of sending the wrong message.

As a guy, you may very well think to yourself, “If I cuddle after cumming, she’ll think I’m humane, affectionate, loving, etc. and this will go a long way in furthering our fling, and I will have scored some brownie points too, in the event that she decides to hunt for a boyfriend”.

Sounds splendid!

However, this is what goes through the girl’s mind upon cuddling after hooking up:

“Oh no! He’s a clinger! He gets a little pussy and he now wants to behave as though we’re married. Oh fucks no! I have to get rid of him before he becomes unbearable”!

With that, the act of cuddling is perceived in 2 radically different ways by each party:

1.) The guy wants to falsely give the impression that he isn’t just some asshole looking to hook up

2.) The girl in turn gets royally turned off by mis(interpreting) the guy’s action of cuddling to mean clingy

The root of the problem is this: guys still believe that women desire good nice guys. So men falsely cultivate an image of “I’m the nice guy”, in hopes to impress the girl. Hence the reason men look to cuddle after hooking up.

Before getting post-sex management handled through trial and error over the years, I would always make the mistake of cuddling after hooking up, thinking that it would guarantee me a slot in the fuck-buddy runnings.

With every girl I meet and hook up with, I would lose her after the first bang (a 2nd lay rare as hell).

I couldn’t figure out what I was doing so wrong.

“Surely my sex game couldn’t have been that sucky”, I said to myself.

After coming to the realization that chicks just want to hook up first and foremost, and that women aren’t these angelic, saintly, benevolent creatures who need to be babied about the realities of the cold world, I no longer cuddled with girls whom I’d just met. Instead, upon blowing my load, I would get dress and look to leave.

By not cuddling, I was putting the girl’s fears to rest (and keeping them at bay), by indirectly reassuring her that I would not turn out to be some stage 5 clinger.

That’s pretty much what girls want, reassurance that they won’t have an emotional handful to deal with after hooking up with you.

Is there ever a case where cuddling would be absolutely acceptable?


If she’s your girlfriend- by all means- cuddle the hell away!

However, if she’s a 1-off or a fuck-buddy, cuddling would’ve been counterproductive in that there’s a likelihood of chasing the girl away instead of keeping her around. And no the girl will not think you’re some insensitive asshole for getting up and leaving right after sex!

On that note, when faced with this juncture after you would’ve blown your load, devising some plausible reason as to why you have to leave ASAP!

Moreover, if you do find yourself in this precarious conundrum, where you aren’t able to keep a girl around after hooking up, then you might want to look at cuddling after sex as a possible culprit.

2 thoughts on “To Cuddle Or Not To Cuddle After Hooking Up

Add yours

  1. A situation like this came up two days ago. Me and a chick that I worked with are currently living out of the same hut in cots for this training exercise. The first time we fooled around I got back in my cot and went to sleep and didn’t linger around, however the second time when I smashed I got back in my cot she came over 5 min later asking if she could get in and be held by me. I obliged because it was her initiating and this was our second time having sex. Later on that night after she was satisfied she got out of my cot and when back to hers a few hours later.


    1. I understood why she did that (get up and went back to her cot). Clearly for now, she doesn’t want anything heavy or serious. If I were you, I would keep it that way because you’ll definitely ruin things if you try to get serious by initiating to cuddle, etc.


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