How To Deal With An Unruly Girlfriend

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“It All Begins Rosy

Hey fellaz, it’s been a great while since I knocked up an extensive article on any deep-subject matter.

Such an article is long overdue I would say…so let’s get started.

All relationships kick off peachy and wonderful.

This “rosy” phase is coupled with 2 factors:

    •NOVELTY

    •IMPRESSIONS

Let’s tackle “Novelty”.

Remember that giddy, boyish feeling of finally getting your paws on that new smartphone, new gadget, or getting that novel race car as a kid?

We all are familiar with the feeling.

Well- that is the same sensation we as humans experience when in new/novel relationships.

No different than landing that new job where everything seems surreal the first few weeks and months.

Keywords: “first few weeks and months”.

What happens to novelty, or as time passes by, after you would’ve had that once new smartphone, for about 5 months?

It loses its newness and novelty.

Do you see where I’m going here?

Stick a pin in that point for a second.

Let’s touch on the 2nd factor as to why relationships begin almost perfectly: IMPRESSIONS.

The ‘Impression’ Phase: Everyone’s An Actor

We’ve all heard of the cliche, “first impressions are lasting”- and that is TOTALLY true- however, I’m going to take it a step further in saying that we all pretend at the outset of a new relationship: whether it be work-related, sex-related, romance-related…doesn’t matter!

If I introduce Tim, a fellow pick-up artist buddy of mines, to a girl name Tammy, Tim and Tammy are likely to put on their social masks just to make a good impression- and they will- or at least try their darned best to make a great impression.

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On a personal level, whenever I’m at work [outside of what I do in relation to pickup advice] and dealing with new customers whom I’m meeting for the first time; you best believe my smile is much more radiant than if I were dealing with the run-of-the-mill, same-old customer whom I’m accustomed to seeing everyday.

Hence, the actor factor of impressions is put on.

In relation to LTR’s (Long-Term Relationships], impressions work the same way.

We meet someone novel, we strive to put on our best act, best face, and to hide our shortcomings and ill-mannerisms, in order to preserve the good impression that we’ve managed to finagle and finesse up to that point.

However, there reaches a point in every relationship, when and where the actors have to be unmasked.

Our true selves are exposed to the other party.

Things aren’t looking so peachy now that the newness has worn off, and the impression mask has peeled away.

It is at this stage of the game where once charming girlfriends are liable to become unruly bitches.

Why Good Seemingly Girls Go Rouge…In Relationships

The impression factor aside, which we’d dealt with in the previously passage; good girls go bad for various reasons.

Not to crush any guy’s cushy-little dreams of the perfect girlfriend, but most seemingly good girls go bad because they were never good in the first place.

I don’t mean this intrinsically as a human being. But history-wise as it relates to their decision making and behavioral patterns in the past.

Most girls who turn out unruly, were always unruly. But they had managed to lull the new boyfriend into a false sense of security, by giving him the “I’m a well-mannered princess” impression, to then overnight, make a subtle transformation into something out of a horror flick.

An impression can only last for a time.

The average girl in a relationship would’ve backslidden around the 4-6 month mark.

Her not-so-adorable ways would be on full display by that time.

Coincidentally, and this solidifies the point, most relationships (at least in the western world), last an average of 4-6 months (the median being 5).

This acceleration towards the crumbling of the vast majority of relationships, is fostered and fueled by the occurrence of the bad girl being unmasked around that time frame.

Apart from that- the fact that good girls go bad because they were never quote-unquote good girls to begin with- there exists slew of other reasons (existential and micro in nature) as to why most girls go rouge as the relationship hits the 4-6 mark.

Just to list a few common ones:

   •Relationship boredom

   •An ex-boyfriend back in the picture

   •Girlfriends leading her astray

   •She wants out

   •You were only a rebound guy for a time

Now, those are just existential and auxiliary factors to the bigger accelerant which I mentioned throughout the article thus far: she was a pretender at first, but unable to keep up the jig, hence exposed herself.

“She Has Gone Bad: Now What”?

As the boyfriend in the relationship which has taken a turn for the worse, you are left with 2 options:

   A.) Haul ass and leave!
   B.) Find a solution!

Hauling ass is the easier route on paper.

However, easier said than done, after you [the guy] would have invested so much emotional and physical capital into that relationship.

Kenny telling you to “just move on bro”, is a non-starter.

Finding a solution to the unruliness on the part of your girlfriend, is the likely avenue which most guys will have taken, once faced with such a precarious dilemma.

Before I go there, allow me to shed some light on the why’s of why guys won’t abandon ship so quickly.

The Investment factor is hugely important as to why guys get locked into relationships which are seemingly sinking (and why women don’t).

Due to the traditional structure of courtship and relationship in the western world- and perhaps the world over- men are forced to invest more, while women passively go along for the ride, without investing nada!

Need some examples?

Guy meets girl.

Guy proposes date.

Guy spends and pays on date because he’s expected to…according to societal standards and protocols.

Guy continues to invest emotionally, psychologically and physically: he has to get more creative for future dates, he may buy flowers, etc. He burns up more credits and minutes placing phone calls since- well- he’s the guy- and men are supposed to do the bulk of the courting, calling, texting, etc.

With that, the guy is constantly on the offensive, making moves, planning, calling, texting more than she does, vying for the opportunity to become her boyfriend.

Meanwhile, the girl on the other hand, would’ve virtually played a completely passive role, having everything handed to her.

She has invested very little or nothing into this affair thus far.

Note: the one who invests the least [the girl], stands to lose the least in the end.

Hence, the way that modern courtship is now structured in these parts, guarantees women a soft landing, in such a way that if things crumble (and they likely will), she emerges virtually unscathed.

The guy on the other hand, virtually the sole contributor from courtship phase to 4 months into the relationship, he has no route in which will guarantee him a soft landing.

Hundreds, to even thousands of dollars which he had invested into this girl and the relationship; any guy would be a dodo to not try to salvage things, before allowing that ship to completely capsize at sea!

Hence, in a sense, the boyfriend is held hostage in a catch-22 paradox, where:

   A.) If he bails prematurely, he loses everything and gained virtually nothing

   B.) If he sticks around and continues to invest in hopes of salvaging the relationship; there’s no guarantee that the rogue girlfriend would even want to stay on board

In fact: the more he invests, the more he loses.

Either strategy is lose-lose for the boyfriend.

Continued investment will chase the girl away even further.

Bailing will have rendered his time spent and investment placed, futile.

With all that being said, that is the primary reason as to why guys just don’t leave when things are bad.

Too much invested!

Therefore, having been in this situation in the past, and with my current girlfriend, I can empathize with any guy who reaches this crossroad.

Saying to those guys: “Just move on”, simply won’t cut it!

This is why I advocate that before bailing, every guy should exhaust every mean, and contemplate every solution, in order to get his unruly girlfriend back in line.

By “solution”, I neither mean begging, crying, whining nor pouring more money into the girl or the relationship.

In that case: what is a man supposed to do once the ship is sinking because of his girlfriend’s unruly behavior which is the cause of major problems in the relationship?

Let’s firstly address 1 of the worst moves to which a guy can resort.

Begging, Asking, Inquiring…

Whichever way you desire to phrase it: begging and pleading with the unruly girlfriend for her to get back in line, is a losing strategy.

One of the underlying reasons as to why she’d gone rogue in the first place, is because of your beggy-vibe and supplicative ways.

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Most guys make the mistake of spoiling their girlfriend. And when she repays them with ingratitude, guys are left at a lost as to the constant problems surfacing.

With that, being a pushover, and someone who spoils his girlfriend without warrant, is the fastest way to have that girl not respect you, and get unruly.

Sounds counter-intuitive as hell, since every guy should aim to meet his girlfriend’s every desire. And doing so will have ensured that the relationship remains afloat and happy.

Well- that’s how it works in the movies.

In reality; women are very ungrateful beings.

Read: Pampering women will never profit you.

They are liable to take kindness coming from a man, as a sign of weakness in the man.

This is why any kindness towards a woman, has to be rationed out like during a climactic crisis of sorts.

Everything mentioned, at least in this sub-passage, ties into supplication, begging and seeking answers.

Seeking answers during problematic occurrences between your GF and you, is another way to make yourself look weak in the eyes of an unruly lass.

What is the stereotypical image of a strong man aka a real man?

Someone who’s decisive and doesn’t ask questions.

Right?

Right!

I am not saying that this alone, is what exclusively makes a real man a real man [decisiveness].

However, being decisive is a very sexy and attractive trait in a man…according to women.

The antithesis/opposite of decisiveness is indecision.

Indecision denotes questions.

Moreover, if you ask questions, it means that you’re unsure and indecisive.

Within a female’s brain- within the confines of a relationship- indecision, un-surety and asking questions on the part of the boyfriend, signifies a handicap and weakness within that guy’s manly armor.

In other words; “If you’re a man, you shouldn’t have to ask what the fucking problem is”!

Hence, whenever dealing with conflicts within a relationship- whether from an unruly girlfriend or one who is largely in line- you NEVER want to operate from a position of asking…as in asking, “What’s the matter babes? Why are you acting that way”?

Always aim to operate from the more decisive and stronger frame of assumption!

Read: Assume Attraction

If you get it wrong: she will correct it in subtle or overt ways!

Now, just to put this in context for those who are challenged 🙂 ; in no way am I saying that inquiring and asking are don’t-do’s- period!

Saying to your girlfriend, “Hey babes, where is the butter? I put it here but can’t find it”, will NOT diminish your manliness in her eyes, just because you are unsure as to where the butter is.

Those are the most trivial matters of no significance.

On the other hand, saying to your girlfriend during conflict-resolution time, “Babes, why won’t you tell me what the problem is”(?), will potentially and likely, cause her to see you as a beacon of weakness and indecision, opposed from a guy who’s supposed to know what the fuck is going on at all times!

Furthermore, women rely on men for certainty.

Let that marinate for a bit.

Women rely on men for certainty and surety.

Women are creatures of indecisiveness and indecision.

In other words: they don’t know what they truly want, why they want, and how to logically obtain this want.

Case in point: survey every girl on the planet and ask her what does she desire in her ideal man, and she will give you a list of all the elaborate qualities she desires in a man: someone who cooks for her, brings her breakfast in bed, massages her body to sleep, knight in shining armor…you name it!

That is every girl’s ideal type.

That’s what she claims she wants! But who does she go for?

The partying riffraff who doesn’t know how to cook [I’m one of them 😉 ], wouldn’t give her a massage with a 10-feet pole, unruly to the core, etc, etc, etc.

She keeps falling for the guys who don’t align with her criteria of the ideal man…in the least.

Read: She has no type

She cannot make up her mind!

She truly doesn’t know what she wants!

Therefore, she relies on a man for surety in decision-making.

Now, as the man in the relationship, approaching someone (the girlfriend) who doesn’t know what she wants, yet seeking clarity and answers from that person, how do you expect to get forthright answers? And how do you expect to get resolution? Furthermore, how do you expect her to respect you for seeking resolution and answers from her, when she herself doesn’t even trust herself in making decisions!?

Now, do you see why asking the unruly girlfriend about the relationship issues and why she’s being uncompromising, is a very bad strategy?

She inherently looks to you [the man] for answers. Yet, you’re asking her the questions and begging for clarity and resolution to the problem.

Thus, begging your girlfriend to change her ways, and crying about being heartbroken and how much you love her to death, will NOT salvage the relationship!

Capiche?

Let’s get strategic now…Kenny’s way! 🙂

“Become Unruly Yourself”

You shouldn’t fight fire with fire…so they say.

That colloquialism does have merits. But it also loses its merits depended on the situation.

Whenever your (new) girlfriend begins to show signs of going rouge (and this WILL happen), doing her own thing in spite of your reservations, disregarding you as an entity: you must show her that 2 can dance that dance!

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Playing passive, civil pussy in the face of an unruly girlfriend, is like bringing a plastic knife to a gun fight.

She will blow you away!

The girl already doesn’t have any respect for you because of your spoiling ways which I’d mentioned earlier.

You maintaining the, “I’m a good boyfriend” stance, will really dry up any ounce of respect she might have had for you, which seeped through a crevice in the respect reservoir.

If you want an unruly girlfriend to eventually cooperate; you have to bring her to her knees by showing her that you can also play that uncooperative game!

Do what she does to you!

People tend to only respond to empathy once they will have been subjected to what they subject others to.

In other words, let’s say for argument sake that your “good girlfriend gone bad”, doesn’t care to respond to your text messages in prompt fashion, simply because she lacks respect for you and your time.

Doubling down on your promptness whenever she texts you, will not serve the purpose of bringing her back in line.

She has to be subjected to the same pain in having her time sidelined on the back-burner, just as she’s been doing to you.

Moreover, you don’t reward a girl for bad behavior.

This will only okay further bad behavior and unruliness.

You bring her to her knees through empathy, by giving her a dose of her own medicine.

Make her feel what she makes you feel!

Become unruly and uncooperative yourself!

For instance: you text her at 9 AM and she elects to ignore your messages upwards of 12 PM, then she gingerly replies as though it’s nothing to her- no, “sorry babes, I was busy doing so and so”- then you ought to do the same to her, and treat her communiques as though they were mere afterthoughts.

Start taking 3 hours to reply to her.

She takes 4; you take 5!

She takes 10; you take 12!

You get the point, don’t you?

This process (of having someone you’ve invested in, put you aside) will rattle anyone’s reality of their value and meaningfulness in the eyes of the other person.

Purposely ignoring her messages and calls for a change, just as she does to you, will not only rattle her world to the core, but it will force empathy upon her…although prior, she cared 2 fucks about how her unruliness had affected your state.

Note: You have to give her a dose of her own medicine in order for her to emphasize with the bullshit that she’s been doing to you.

You CANNOT and will NOT cause change, and make her empathize with your grievances, by (solely) arguing about it, nagging and crying about how hurt you are and how bad it is that she shows lack of interest in you.

Crying and solely verbalizing your grievances won’t manifest change.

Women in relationships, only respond to punishments and pain.

Arguing with her (which I’m just as guilty of doing as the next man), will simply see your words enter 1 ear, then fly out the other.

Hence, it’s imperative that you yourself become unruly by breaking usual patterns to which she’s accustomed.

Breaking Patterns Will Screw With Her Head

Predictability is the #1 killer of attraction.

If a girl can predict your every move, action, line and word; she will lose interest so fast that it will make your head spin like a yoyo on a smooth tarmac.

A huge part as to why she went bad to begin with, and no longer wants in on this relationship, is because your predictability has stifled the attraction.

Read: Familiarity kills attraction

On a side note, this is why I advise guys to NOT move in with their girlfriends. But to remain living separately until some years apart will have elapsed.

Guys get so caught up on love and poon-tang during the first 5 months on the relationship, that they often lose sight of everything rational, to then take giant leaps into a pit of fire…virtually that is.

There exists no rational reason why you should want to move in with a new girlfriend; someone whom you haven’t even known for 5 months good.

That is simply rushing! And you are operating from a frame of desperation, Scarcity and clinginess, by thinking (subconsciously):

If I move in with her pronto, I can keep tabs on her better, monitor her movements, keep her away from other guys…

In less than no time (upon moving in), the relationship sours, and you become another early statistic in the relationship graveyard.

Digressing.

Anyway, so moving in with a girl (prematurely) will have killed the attraction, because the girlfriend now gets to see more of you (too much of you), knows more of you, and gets to predict your every move: spoken and unspoken.

If you’re not buying this shit- that being predictable kills- then allow me to draw the movie analogy.

Let’s say that you and a friend are watching a movie that you never seen before…but he has.

Having knowledge of how the film culminates, your buddy spills the beans and gives away some details which now renders the movie predictable.

How is the enjoyment factor for you now that your friend had given away the movie?

It doesn’t seem as exciting does it?

The same thing with women: in and out of relationships.

If she can read your proverbial movie and accurately predict every scene which is to happen next: then she loses interest in watching that film to its culmination.

Thus, when a girlfriend loses interest and the relationship wanes, remaining a predictable dodo, will only give her lots more ammunition to act up and ultimately dump you.

Therefore, changing your patterns will screw with her head as she no longer can predict your moves!

In hindsight- look at it this way- her unruliness breaks the predictability pattern on her end, doesn’t it?

You can’t predict nor anticipate her unruly movements…and this is driving you crazy!

Well- this should give you all the encouragement needed as to why you should behave accordingly by breaking patterns.

Here’s also a little tidbit: as the boyfriend in the relationship going through this pain at the moment, you’re likely to surmise that you are feeling it sharply!

It stings you!

It pains you tremendously to see that your girlfriend shows you no respect, and she blatantly disregards anything that arises from you!

It hurts doesn’t it fellaz!?

Women feel emotions 10 times as deeply as men do!

Let that sink in for a second.

If you think you have it bad emotionally by being subjected to the unruly, pattern-breaking bullshit from your girlfriend, imagine how deeply she would feel it if you were to break patterns also and become untamed!

She would probably jump off a frikkin’ bridge in agony…though we don’t want that!

Here’s another caveat for those guys who are dealing with a stubborn cookie of a girlfriend.

Personally, my girlfriend of 6+ years is stubborn as FACK!

She’s as stubborn as they come!

She shows no emotions when hurt (hardly shows any when things are sunny).

She can play that shit off with the nonchalant ease of a professional actor!

Some women are masters at hiding their pain.

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The unruly types are especially adroit and skilled in masking pain.

Moreover, girls who’ve been through a lot in relation to male-female dynamics (which are most girls over the age of 25), have learned to masked their hurt as if their life depend on it.

A guy filled with testosterone, who’s hurting because of his wayward girlfriend, is liable to punch a hole in a brick wall, and regret it later, once he’s in the infirmary nursing a broken wrist.

A Beta-Male type who doesn’t enjoy overdoses of the manly aggression chemicals at his disposal, is liable to pay his unruly girlfriend a visit, get down on his knees and bawl his eyes out in hopes of inducing pity from her in order to work things out.

Saying that to say: guys display their pains and emotional implosions, in visible fashion- some way or another- through anger and self-exile (antisocial behaviors) for examples.

A woman seeks to hide her pain.

When she’s hurt, she sobs in her pillow away from you: the boyfriend.

“No way I can allow you to see me so vulnerable”, she says to herself.

Hence, most guys being unaware that women actively seek to hide their true feelings, are likely to get duped and discouraged, once they fail to see visibly trails and overt signs that the girl is hurting too.

With that, once I advise guys that they should break pattern, become unruly, ignore the girlfriend for an entire day; they (guys) rebut with:

“But Kenny, it doesn’t seem like it’s working. Why isn’t she crying? Why isn’t she mad? Why isn’t she on her knees begging for mercy”!?

“Dude- she does feel it”!

She feels it 10 times as much as you do!

It is only because she’s a subtle creature by nature who was taught to play the background, why she masks her feelings (pain) like she’s won the jackpot and is trying to secure her chips from thieves.

Therefore, as you break the predictable patterns on her; she will feel it!

She may not tell you, may not show it, but she will feel it, and cry her eyes out to everyone except you: the boyfriend.

Ok, so how do you break patterns and kill your predictability which is partly responsible for killing your relationship?

Killing Your Predictability In Order To Drive Her Crazy

Very simple tactical stuff for the non-handicapped.

Breaking patterns implies doing away with routine.

That is what we’re aiming for here: a deviation from routine.

Routines are predictable…hence cumbersome and boring.

If you want to get your unruly, disrespecting girlfriend to wonder and second-guess her unruliness: quit doing everything you’ve been doing the way you’ve been doing it since the onset of the relationship.

Now, I’m not saying to completely desist from these things (whatever they are). Just to limit, rearrange and mix around the order of things.

•Breaking Text Patterns

For example, if you’re accustomed to shooting off a good-morning text to your girlfriend at 9 AM- every morning- then you want to break that tedious pattern and text her later on in the morning…or even the afternoon.

Better yet: don’t text her at all that day.

Make her fucking wonder!

Here’s the deal dude: humans operate on auto-piloted mode.

We walk around like zombies.

Everyone’s predictable.

She can anticipate and predict your 9 AM text.

It may come a little after 9 or a little before 9: but it will come 9-ish.

She expects this.

It is routine.

Break that routine and she starts to get antsy and worried.

The same goes for situations of varying times of the day. If you mainly call/text her during the afternoon; do it in the evenings or nights…or the morning.

The following day? Mix it up again!

Throw her off as much as you can.

This won’t make her emotional in the sense of crying a river. But it will cause her to start to cook up all sorts of reasons why you’ve broken your normal pattern.

“Is it another girl”!??? 😯

She asks herself!

Effectively, what you’ve done is to become unruly yourself by deviating from the script that she’s used to.

Any sudden deviation will cause the other person to think, wonder and worry.

Other forms of pattern breaks include:

   •Coming home at an unusual time. If you live apart (which I hope you do), but you’re accustomed to going by her at 5PM when you would’ve finished from work. Go by her at 7 PM instead. Always later but never earlier than you normally would.

   •Call her at an unusual time

   •Stop saying I love you if you’re accustomed to saying it

   •Labor on your smartphone more often, if you aren’t the type to be glued to his phone. It’ll make her wonder as to this unusual pattern and straying from the norm

   •Go out! Hit up the club or bar; especially if you’re not the bar and club type.

   •Grab a drink! if you aren’t accustomed to doing this, it will make her wonder as to why now; “what is his motive”?

Those are just a few pertinent and real-world examples of breaking the pattern of predictability.

Let’s touch on bulletpoint 3 for a minute: “I LOVE YOUs”.

The worst thing you can ever continue to say to a girl who has lost interest in you, and for the relationship, is “I love you”.

Not only does she NOT want to hear the sappy shit because it irritates her, but it helps to kill your chances of ever getting her to come to the table of compromise: AT ALL!!!

Why is this such a bad thing you may ask [to say “I love you” to my girlfriend]?

Inherently, it isn’t problematic (though you never want to shower your girlfriend with I love yous). However, the problem lies within timing of the situation.

If a girl whom you weren’t attracted to, were to shower you with “I love yous”, would it not irritate you?

Better yet: what if a girl to whom you weren’t attracted, were to finally break her silence and say, “I love you”…just that 1 time?

Would it still not cause some social discomfort, or have little effect, for the simple fact that this feeling isn’t mutual?

Of course it would!

Likewise with your girlfriend and the situation at the moment. Because of your sucky, spoiling Beta-Male ways, included all of the other reasons I cited in the article as to why she lost interest and respect; she no longer has attraction for you [by the way, this has nothing to do with physical attraction].

Hence, she becomes royally turned off by having this wimp guy [you] affirming his love for her.

With that being said: cut out the “I love yous” as part of this pattern breaking.

This will fuck with her head royally!

Although she hates it at this point [to hear the “I love yous”], she’s still accustomed to hearing it from you (that’s if you do say it regularly).

Once you withdraw and desist from this familiar-verbal pattern, it will send her mind into overdrive, wondering if there is someone else as to why you’re no longer affirming your love for her in usual fashion…or at all.

When you will have executed all of this (included the bulletpoints which I haven’t elaborated on), you will have managed to flip the script in numerous ways:

   • Kill your predictable ways

   • Gain an unruly edge yourself

   • Ultimately put yourself in a position to bargain and to get her back in line

You Cannot Bargain Without Leverage

The problem with the boyfriend who solely whines, nags, cries, begs and pleads to his girlfriend for her to value him and the relationship again, is that he has no leverage and no power of his own. So he’s essentially trying to get the girl to the bargaining table without having any bargaining power.

With that, the girl will never come to the table in order to work on a solution of conformity.

How do you gain leverage in order to force your unruly girlfriend to bargain?

By utilizing every bit of workable advice I’d shared with you thus far.

Grab a pen, or fire up a note-taking app, jot down, or copy-paste all of the actionable steps and tips that I cited thus far.

Save them, make a mental note of them and begin to execute them NOW!

Moving on!

In order to regain some power and control in your rapidly imploding relationship, you firstly need to communicate (indirectly) to the wayward girlfriend that you too can play that game.

Once she realizes that you aren’t a giant pussy and that you do still have a pair (although she’d virtually neutered you), the balance will tip ever so slightly away from her, and into your favor.

If she’s accustomed to getting 10 text messages from you per day, all of which reinforce her lack of attraction (because you’re over investing still), but you suddenly flip the script by sending 5, 2, 1 msgs per day as the days go by; this will ultimately cause some panic, make her worry, tip the scales in your favor (the boyfriend’s), simultaneously giving you bargaining leverage for when you’ll mostly need it later on.

Okay, so to put this all together, when you will have executed the prerequisite game plan by utilizing the tips I shared with you- quite naturally- you’ll be urged to ask:

“So Kenny…how long does this take”?

“This” referring to the process of the boyfriend also acting unruly (tactically) and breaking patterns.

How long?

There’s no specific time frame on any of this.

You execute until you get your point across…which is that you won’t continue to take the shit lying down!

You won’t continue to allow her to act unruly while you play the passive-pussy role, crying like a wuss-bag because your darling damsel has gone rogue!

Okay, so what are some indicators that your point has resonated?

   1.) She begins to invest more by reaching out: whether this be in the form of argument or civil discourse

   2.) Blatant or subtle questioning on her part. She begins to inquire about your sudden changes in routine, patterns and erraticness

   3.) She doubles down on her unruliness and or disrespect, as a knee-jerk reaction before she implodes and concedes (however subtly)

By all means, you don’t need the girlfriend to come bawling her eyes out, apologizing for all the bullshit to which she’s been subjecting you.

That would be the ideal reaction. But it isn’t necessary in order to gain leverage for bargaining.

You mainly want to prove a point, make a stance, get a reaction then relent a bit.

Generally, this could all be executed within a matter of 10 days (from my personal experience, and with those whom I’d coached in “Get Your Ex Back Program”).

Nevertheless, how do you bargain now that you’ve made a point, regained some value and respect, and now have leverage to play with?

You simply state your case in a non-whiny tone.

This does not necessarily have to be in person via official visit.

You can text your girlfriend your expectations from henceforth.

In fact, the informal approach (texting) may have a greater impact, as it communicates to the girl that she isn’t at all that important that she requires an official visit at a literal bargaining table.

Place a phone call if preference be.

Appear stern yet nonchalantly cool about things.

Here’s how I did this the other day when my GF began acting unruly over the course of 4-5 days [my text message]:

I been fed up of the constant drama. I’m prepared to see some changes from now on, and I can likewise work on mines.

That’s it!

Nothing drawn-out and elaborate.

Calm, cool yet with assertiveness.

The wrong message/text/call would read as follows (note the tone):

Hi baby, I’ve been thinking about you a lot and how much I want to keep things alive between us. But please try to change instead of constantly doing things to hurt me. Will you try for me…for us?

Not only was that whiny and supplicative, but it strips you of more value and leverage that you may have regained.

You don’t want to appear hurt and down and out when sending that crucial text (or via phone call) in hopes of bargaining and getting conformity once again from your girlfriend.

You must appear strong and not broken!

Therefore, you want to aim for structuring your message (or call) in a format which resembles the one I laid out in the first example, and avoid the whiny tone of the 2nd. example.

“What if she doesn’t respond”?

You don’t need reciprocation or a verbal agreement to solidify your point of change and conformity on her part.

Therefore, no need to wait on a text back saying, “I hear you babes. I’m sorry for all the drama and acting out. I will change pronto”.

Seventy percent of the times: this won’t happen (verbal or textual acknowledgment and agreement to change on her part)!

A failure to reply doesn’t mean “no”; that she refuses to bargain and comply.

A no reply on her part, simply means she’s too stubborn to concede and comply. However, it is compliance and conformity without expressing anything.

As the guy in this position, you just have to assume the sale!

Again- be decisive!

Women go bonkers over men who are decisive and know what they’re about [think: men of power, leaders, presidents, gang head honchos, etc]!

Hence, assume that she gets it, will comply and reform herself ASAP!

This is why your tone has to come off boss-like, yet unaffected and blasé.

A boss or someone of value and superiority, simply gives an order and he assumes action will be carried out upon those orders.

He doesn’t wait around and ask the subordinate if he or she will comply.

Fucks no! He assumes and owns the shit!

Therefore, you’re not expecting to get a reply from your unruly girlfriend saying, “sorry babes. I hear you. I will do whatever you say”.

You’re expecting to see action taken upon your orders, which will ultimately lead to changes…hopefully!

If for whatever reason, she doesn’t get on board by desisting from her wayward ways and actions, then you have no choice but to continue to prolong the tactical battle which I laid out for you earlier.

Here’s an alternate strategy below, which you can also employ if discernible changes don’t come about. Or you can use this alternative strategy instead of the text example above.

Give Her The False Ultimatum…Indirectly

At this critical turning point in the game, giving her a false ultimatum can work wonders for your cause (getting you GF back in line).

There are 2 ways in which you can give your girlfriend an ultimatum: the direct method and the indirect method.

Direct Ultimatums however, are inherently faulty in that they make you come off as weak. Moreover, people are liable to pull your bluff in the face of a DU.

Here’s a classic example of a Direct Ultimatum used in a situation where the relationship is plummeting due to the girlfriend’s ill-behavior, while the boyfriend wants change:

I can’t continue in this relationship if I don’t see any changes from you. Either you change from now on, or I will end this relationship at once and go look another girlfriend who values me and the relationship. So let me know what it is. You change, or I leave.

That is a direct ultimatum.

Why is it faulty?

It gives away too much. It’s too explicit and detailed.

Nothing for the imagination is left.

Look at it this way: if someone were to make a vague threat against you, in comparison to a direct threat to attack you, which threat has the potential to make you quiver more: the direct or indirect/vague threat?

Not Surprising (at least not to me): the vague threat packs the biggest punch. The obvious reason is that you can’t quite see it coming, you don’t know if it will come and how it will come. So you’re left on guard and in worry mode, unable to anticipate the possible events surrounding the vague and indirect threat.

If I tell you I’m gonna pummel your fucking face in with a baseball bat if you don’t stop checking out my girlfriend: not only will have received fore-warning of my intent, but why would I even have to say it? Why not just do it? Why put you on guard?

Thus, a direct threat isn’t taken as seriously as a vague one [think shock & awe].

Now, here is how you should’ve phrased the ultimatum (indirect/vague) cited above:

I can’t continue in this relationship if I don’t see any changes. I will have to reconsider things and weigh options. I do value the relationship but it can be better

Side note: wording will either make you or break you. The optics are everything.

Everything comes down to wording: whether you’ll be impactful or taken with a grain of salt.

Again- you want to avoid the whiny cry-baby tone at all costs.

Noticed how the 2nd example was void of whining?

It was indirect in the sense that it never explicitly stated an intent to sever the failing relationship. It only implies it…and that is what makes it so powerful.

By saying to the “girl gone bad” girlfriend, “I do value the relationship”, it gives her a glimmer of false hope which is what you should aim for.

The Indirect Ultimatum laid out above is the ideal approach if and when you decide to incorporate this strategy into your overall gameplan in getting your unruly girlfriend back in line.

This all begs the following question: “what if the girl laughs in the face of my ultimatum”?

The hidden beauty about the indirect ultimatum- 1 of the hidden beauties- is that it blunts any rebut that the girl may have.

How can she laugh in the face of a vague ultimatum and call your bluff, since you haven’t made anything explicit anyway?

She can’t!

She can only call your bluff if you directly give her an ultimatum to change or leave.

In any case, if she does call your bluff and say to you- “Well move on”- you don’t have to take her on!

She’s only looking for a reaction.

You need not react/reply defensively.

Remain cool and play it blasé!

“What if she decides to break up because of the ultimatum given”?

Call her bluff!

No: “Are you serious? I don’t believe you”.

Yes: “I hear you”.

Accept the fact that she “Claims” to want to break up.

Go along with it while maintaining the role of a boyfriend, but one who’s uncommitted and somewhat friendly instead of broodish.

Here’s the deal: whenever a girl breaks up with a guy, the girl expects the following 3 reactions from the guy:

   •Protests
   •Begging
   •Crying

When you neglect to follow the expected script, it fucks with her head.

With that, if she scoffs at your indirect ultimatum and calls for a breakup or a break anyway: you don’t protest, don’t beg and definitely don’t cry!

You accept it with coolness, with the fore-knowledge that she doesn’t mean it, and it is only a reaction to being given an ultimatum.

“So…how should I play it after that (aside from being cool)…after she’d called for a breakup or break”?

Feign aloofness!

A Dose Of ‘Aloof’ Is Your Secret Weapon

Aloofness is the kryptonite to an unruly gir(friend).

It busts through her feminine blasé like a close-range shot exploding through a ripe watermelon.

The last thing a girl expects upon hurling a threat of relationship severance at her boyfriend, is for him to take it in peace.

Doing so not only diminishes her viability as a desired woman, but it makes her question her value altogether.

I touched on this point extensively in my e-book product: “Get Your Ex Back”.

In order to get an ex-girlfriend to want to chase you, you must firstly make her question her self-worth, her value, her sexiness, etc.

You must make her self-conscious.

She must hurt before she conforms.

Acting aloof will cause her to feel a sense of insecurity…which means pain.

You aren’t hurting her outright, nor are you doing anything detrimental or harmful to her in any way.

You are merely taking a few steps back: physically, emotionally and psychologically…which engenders aloofness.

Girls do this all the time to guys, and it drives us up the wall!

They pretend to be unaffected by anything the guy does.

You want to flip the script and turn the tables on her, by becoming the one who’s unaffected and distant.

Even if she’s been distant and aloof: doesn’t frikkin’ matter! She doesn’t expect you to also Play Aloof.

Additionally, remember what I told you earlier about females experiencing emotions on a much deeper level than males do [10 times as much]?

Well- though her aloof temperament stings you (the guy). Multiply this stinging feeling tenfolds, then you’ll get a better sense of how she feels and what she feels when her boyfriend decides to withdraw affection and become aloof.

Again- she may not show it. But she’ll damn sure feel it, and she’ll cry herself to bed!

Now, here’s the catch to all of this script-flipping: it’ll only work once you’d followed the prerequisite advice that I shared with you all throughout this article.

None of this will work if your girlfriend still sees you as a wuss-bag, doormat, jelly-back, neutered specimen of a man.

You CANNOT and will NOT get your girlfriend to quit the antics unless she deems you a beacon of strength.

Now, you don’t have to be rock solid. But you can’t be sissified either.

Every tidbit of strategic advice which I imparted here- once applied to your situation- will inherently and simultaneously raise your stock from a sappy lad to an empowered man.

Once you’re able to create that new impression, Going Aloof will be your secret weapon to getting conformity over time.

“When should I put the aloofness aside and begin to re-engage her as before”?

Great question I would imagine to which every guy wants to know the answer.

Every situation is different. And since she is your girlfriend, only you would’ve been in the best position to gauge timing properly.

Generally though, I would advise those who seek my assistance, to work the aloofness angle for about a week.

This entails a physical and psychological step back from communication.

   •If you’re accustomed to sending her a 50 words message; shorten that significantly.

   •If you’re accustomed to sending 10 text messages daily; reduce it to 2.

You want to give the impression that your time is somewhat taken up with other endeavors…or with someone else. 😉

Another way to feign aloofness is by shortening your replies to her messages (that’s if she texts you at all).

Come off a bit uninterested and distant, but not totally dismissive.

Girlfriend: I’m going out with friends later so don’t annoying me with any stupid argument and stupid texts or I will flat-out ignore you.

Wrong approach below (via text):

Boyfriend: Why are you going out with friends when we talked about this being a problem since you go out with them 3 nights a week and we don’t get any time to go out together. Your friends seem more important than our relationship. I love you. And I want to take you out instead. Think about it babes. I love you

Correct approach below (via text):

Boyfriend: I was thinking about going out with the boys too. Enjoy

That’s it!

Short, sweet and simple!

Which of the 2 reactions/texts above was she anticipating out of custom?

The first of course: the soppy, whiny, beggy, supplicating text.

That’s what she’s accustomed to (from you) because that’s what you’ve been giving her as of late…which helps to bolster up her decision to become unruly and rebellious.

By acting aloof through means of using the 2nd. example given, you manage to achieve 3 significant things:

1.) You throw her off

2.) You make her worried

3.). You garner respect

This all ties into the nifty strategy I taught you previously about breaking patterns and being unpredictable.

Everything works hand-in-hand.

Hence, this is an easily employable method overall.

If all fails and the ship ultimately capsizes- meaning, the girlfriend decides to dump you anyway- I recommend that you purchase the most tactical, comprehensive and no-bullshit guide on the internet for getting an ex-girlfriend crawling back on her hands and knees.

   •“Get Your Ex Back”

I put a lot into this e-product, included personal and detailed examples and accounts from past and current relationships, outlining how I was able to get my ex and my current girlfriend, begging for another chance…though they were the ones who walked out on the relationship.

There’s also a phone-coaching package [most affordable in the pick-up industry] hosted through Skype, for those of you who prefer to hammer out your relationship issues in a more direct way, with me as a virtual wingman.

Get your half hour or hour-long session with Kenny the Pick-Up Artist…through Skype

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