When a girl takes you for granted, you’re required to act and act accordingly- not to the classical script of chasing the girl- but by doing the opposite in giving her space as a way to regain balance.
I get asked a lot by guys who seek my expertise in getting their girlfriend back, “What do I do when my girlfriend disrespects me on a fairly regular basis”?
Before I get into the meat of the article, I just want to firstly clear the air on my relationship status and situation for those who may not be privy to it.
I am in a relationship and have been almost 7 years now.
It’s a weird relationship in a sense in that it isn’t a traditional relationship: then again it is…with a twist.
I structured my relationship in such a way that allows me freedom to continue to game and date other women.
It isn’t an open relationship per se since my girlfriend doesn’t have the proverbial green light to see other men (not that I restricted her, but she claims that she prefers to only see me).
On my end, it is somewhat an open relationship though I don’t term it that.
In any case, based on the proverbial and verbal agreement made between my girlfriend and me, I am allowed to meet and see others but not date them.
My girlfriend isn’t allowed to see other men at all. But as I said previously, it is/was her decision at the bargaining table to decide that she didn’t want to have that liberty to see other men. However, she would respect my views and grant me allowance to see other chicks if I wanted to.
Here is the thing also, when I first met my current girlfriend back in November 2009, I was already an advanced PUA at the top of my game.
I wrote an article a while back detailing my exploits from 2009 where I spoke about that year (prior to meeting my GF) being the year in which I slept with the most women on record (and to date).
Having met my girlfriend, I felt that she had purposely schemed to fuck up my pick-up career by trying to trap me in a monogamous, one-on-one relationship.
This is the modus operandi of every girl for that matter. When she meets a guy she fancies, she will try to corral him like a crab into a cage in order to keep him for herself.
“To Corral” is actually me being nice here. What she would attempt to do in actuality is to trick the guy into being with her exclusively: “To Trick” being the operative verb here.
Most guys just haplessly allow themselves to be tricked into exclusivity by the would-be girlfriend, simply because they (the guys) are now getting some pussy, and they could care less about the freedoms they would have to relinquish in exchange for this pussy.
All they want is to continue fucking this novel pussy! And if this means a cessation to going out, seeing other women, hanging with friends and becoming exclusive with the girl: most guys wouldn’t mine.
This is why majority of guys get into new relationships while making the mistake to desist from talking to other girls, going out, hanging with the boys, etc.
Guys just want to get laid at any expense.
The woman’s angle on the other hand is a very different one.
Sex isn’t her motivation.
Locking you down is.
She wants to keep you away from other men.
That’s it! And in all fairness, that is the consequence of a traditional relationship: you want to keep the girl away from other men, and she likewise wants to keep you away from other women.
It is all a survival and mating strategy.
However, women are very crafty and cunning about achieving this end (locking you down).
Naturally having ulterior motives of having her cake and eating it too, the girl will seek to lock/trap the guy into an exclusive relationship while often times leaving her options open when the guy would have already given up all of his options as a way to show commitment to the girl and to the newly hatched relationship…which he was sort of tricked into in the first place.
Thus, the new boyfriend has zero ulterior motives besides getting steady sex from his new girlfriend. I mean, this is expected (sex in a relationship). So not much of an ulterior motive there on the guy’s part.
The new girlfriend however has tons of ulterior motives and tricks on the front and back burners. One notably is: She won’t give up her options. She will remain friends (and even have a fuck-buddy for some time) with all of her orbiter-males who are lingering around, awaiting their moment to fuck her.
Again- guy comes into new relationship with a clean slate, clear conscience, and nothing to hide.
Girl enters new relationship (of which she’s the chief architecture) with tons of secrets, fuzzy relations and hidden agendas, for instance: social mobility, monetary gains, attempts to make her ex jealous, etc.
Also, she is likely to be sleeping with another guy whom she was sleeping with before she met you.
This other guy in most cases is an ex of hers.
Read a stunning article I wrote a while back about the sexual grace period:
The article touches on a not-widely known phenomenon or occurrence of how women often get into new relationships while continuing to sleep with the guy whom she was sleeping with before getting intimate with you, upwards of 6 months into her new relationship.
Therefore, whenever a girl gets into a new relationship, she often brings along baggages of unresolved relationships. Meanwhile, the guy comes in with nothing to hide, and hasn’t been sleeping with a prior girl or anything of that sort.
Now, how does this all relate to my weird relationship and getting a girl back in line?
As expected- though I wasn’t privy to this at that time- my girlfriend managed to coax me into a relationship that I didn’t want.
When I first met her back in 2009, after we became intimate and hooked up a time or 2, she began to sneakily pry into my personal activities, questioning why I had the scent of cigarette on my breath which she sensed when I made out with her 1 night.
Remind you; we were NOT together! Not even close! We had barely known each other even for a week good.
She had no right to inquire about my activities at all!
Hence, I felt annoyed at her prying. And since I wasn’t beholden to her to any degree, I didn’t feel a need to hide anything either, so I did tell her that I was hooking up with 3 other girls at the time, with her being the 4th.
With the cigarette-smoke scent in my mouth incident, what happened was that I just came from hooking up with 1 of the other 3 girls (we obviously made out during sex), and she happened to be a smoker of tobacco so the scent was left in my mouth…which I wasn’t aware of.
Anywho, my soon-to-be girlfriend at that time was showing all the signs of a girl who was attempting to handcuff and force me into a relationship that I didn’t want.
I wanted to remain single and take my PUA career to an even more extreme level than it already was in 2009…which was EXTREME as I was sleeping with about 2 to 3 new girls per week…for months on end during 2009!
I was not about to have my pick-up career ruined by a traditional relationship!
She met me while I was a pick-up artist. I actually cold-approached her in a supermarket and picked her up while field testing a brand-new PUA opener and routine which I came across on my favorite PUA website in those years, the seduction tuition website.
Moreover, days after I picked her up, I told her about pick-up, our secretive community, and I even told her that I used PUA tactics in order to pick her up (by which she was intrigued).
I was totally transparent about everything, especially pickup since I was so passionate about it. So I made sure to relate to her as bluntly as possible that I do NOT intend to be with 1 girl!
She accepted my position of being adamant about remaining a pick-up artist who’s single. Not that she had a choice or leverage to transparently sway me either way.
As time went by and the weeks ticked on while we continued to hook up, her prying and inquiries became more subtle, more sneaky and more cunning.
They weren’t as transparent, so I wasn’t able to see nor catch them as they came in like stealth-fighter plans.
Over time, and overnight, I found myself bogged down in the relationship zone in which I had no desire of being.
However, as I mentioned earlier as a form of caution, women will often scheme their way into exclusivity with a guy whom they’re into.
Next day, the guy wakes up not knowing what happened to him, or how did he even land himself in a relationship without firstly talking about it.
You see, men are very practical creatures. We see things in black and white.
We expect that such a decision as an exclusive relationship should be talked out and treated like a joint-business venture…which it is technically.
Women on the other hand, being impractical while dealing with the sexes, see things on an emotional level.
Her emotions tell her that this is right, and she proceeds.
With us men, we can give a rat’s ass about feelings and emotions when it comes to decision making.
We try our best to use our rational faculties in order to decide our next move; especially in matters of the sexes.
For instance; a woman will marry based on raw emotions alone. She just feels good! Her emotions tell her it’s the right move, whether she just met this guy 2 months ago and marriage would likely have been premature! She doesn’t care!
Men don’t operate that way…even the desperate ones.
Notwithstanding those factors just mentioned, men will not argue and protest the fact that they were bamboozled into a relationship without firstly discussing the pros and cons in a practical manner.
How so, and why wouldn’t men protest such a move [waking up in a premature and sudden relationship without due diligence]?
Sex, Sex, Sex! Just as I mentioned earlier: men just want to fuck!
Having a girlfriend means steady sex!
The average guy [96% of them] for that matter, hardly gets laid. So when you take a guy who hasn’t been laid in 2 years, and then he finally gets lucky with a girl, regardless of her attraction level, this sex-deprived guy is not about to entertain the idea of playing things safe and protesting the fact that he was coaxed into a relationship so suddenly.
He’s faced with 2 options:
1.) Go back to a life of no sex
2.) Grab the opportunity to have sex numerous times a day with a girlfriend
Which will he choose?
The answer is obvious: the choice which will have enabled him to get sex on a regularly basis…the relationship route.
Sex or no sex?
The guy wants sex, so he will give away all of his freedoms and rights and cede power to the female involved, essentially allowing her to run and control the relationship, just as long as his cock gets some action inside of his new girlfriend’s pussy.
With such turn of events, the woman then slyly smiles inwardly over her feat, as she had managed to corral a new prey into her cage.
She wants power! He wants sex regularly!
Both parties get their desires met.
Back in December 2009, I found myself in a similar situation as the vast majority of men will have undergone at various points within their dating life: I woke up 1 day to the realization that I was no longer free to game and fuck other girls without hearing it from my girlfriend.
It was so surreal that I didn’t even consider her my girlfriend, nor did I address her as that.
I thought that I was single, but she kept treating me as though we were a couple…which we were technically though she managed to coax me into the relationship.
It gradually became a struggle: she wanted access to my phone, wanted to know whom else was I communicating with, where was I going, why was I going out tonight, was I still fucking the girl who left the cigarette scent in my mouth, etc.
These tactics of hers weren’t done blatantly nor with ill-manners.
She was coy and somewhat pleasant about the way in which she went about keeping tabs on me and inquiries.
She was so skillful that I didn’t find myself upset at her for snooping.
Most girls are blessed with this tactfulness.
Think about the Adam and Eve story if you subscribe to the Biblical accounts.
Eve was fucking cunning and tricky!
She was the one responsible for Adam’s so-called fall from the grace of God.
Fiction or not, and though I have major issues and qualms with the Biblical accounts and their credibility [I am an Agnostic], I do buy into the underlying theme of the Adam & Eve story as far as Eve convincing Adam to partake of the so-called forbidden tree or fruit.
What that basically hints at, is the female’s cunning nature and her innate tendency to trick men in order to achieve her overall aim.
Women in relationships are akin to Eve, the cunning and persuasive agent.
Just as Eve mislead Adam into giving up his power, a 21st Century female in the context of a relationship, will also plot and plan ways in which to usurp the guy’s power or to coyly strip him of his position of power within the relationship.
Now, I know that the previous declarations are likely to be regarded as inflammatory and even sexist- specifically by women- but I don’t know how anyone who really sits down and studies this would leave under the impression that women aren’t actually playing a game of tug-of-war in relationships in order to wrestle away power from the man involved.
A neo-traditional relationship like what we see today in this part of the world, is a woman’s domain.
Relationship is her baby!
It is where she wields the most leverage and has the most power.
This is partially why women cannot stay single for any drawn-out period of time.
She has no power over anyone while being single…unless she has kids in whom to control and dictate.
Within the confines of a monogamous relationship; she feels a sense of power.
Allow me to be clear here: by “Power”, I don’t necessarily mean to give the impression of commands being thrown arbitrarily here and there by the girlfriend ruling with an iron fist.
By power and control, I mean that the girlfriend will have liked to be the one calling the shots, picking where to eat dinner, expecting to be pampered, rationing out sex at the times which she feels sex should happen, having her way, etc.
It is “Subtle” control since women are very subtle and passive creatures by nature.
Anyway, so a few months into my new relationship, though I hadn’t desist from gaming and fucking other girls, and I was still going clubbing every weekend, doing my own thing as though I were single, I would have to contend with her on certain matters concerning my whereabouts and so forth (though we didn’t lived together).
As time went on, I became frustrated that I wasn’t able to freely do pickup without having to hear it from the girlfriend.
It eventually reached a tipping point after I felt that I was becoming her little bitch, powerless, neutered and almost tamed to incapacity.
That led to massive fighting and a power struggle.
Most guys wouldn’t give a fuck as I cited earlier.
They just want to get laid! To hell with their dignity, pride, manhood and power! As long as they’re getting pussy, the woman can run the show however she desires!
My yearning however, for continued freedom to sleep around freely, was stronger than my desire for sex, or sex with my girlfriend.
Here’s a little caveat: sex, or lack thereof, was not an issue of mines.
I was a frikkin’ advanced pick-up artist who possibly slept with more than 120 women in 2009 alone!
I was NOT lacking sex! And because I had options with other women, it made me realize that I had a lot of bargaining power to play with. 😈
Therefore, my girlfriend could not have tried to hold me hostage with the lure of pussy or sex on a regular basis since I was able to get sex from numerous quarters if I had to…as a seasoned PUA.
On a side note; this is why you must always accrue options by having other girls in your life, because doing so will keep you sane for starters, and it will also keep your girlfriend honest.
She will think twice of wantonly fucking you over once she knows to herself that you can dump her ass today for a hotter and younger girl.
Lacking this (options with women), gives your girlfriend all the ammo she needs to continue to fuck you over, play mind games, be unruly and fight for control of the relationship.
Moreover, without another girl to fuck, you as a guy will NOT entertain the idea of playing hardball with your girlfriend just because the relationship isn’t equitable and fair for you.
Of course you will accept her shit and stay in the imbalance relationship!
You have no choice! You have no other pussy options!
Being that I had pussy options, it gave me leverage to not only dump my girlfriend, but to do so in style.
However, I chose not to dump her after the constant fights and warring over relationship power and my freedom to remain a PUA.
What did I do instead?
I stayed in the relationship while blatantly fucking other girls.
In essence, I was saying to her: “if you don’t come to the bargaining table and concede to my demands, I will just continue to bang other girls without any regard. If you dump me; oh well! No big deal! I’m a PUA and I can always replace you in a heartbeat”!
I never said those things to her. But my sub-communication, non-verbal cues and vibe said so clearly!
Not wanting to dump me because she knew I was a guy with options, she eventually dragged herself to the bargaining table to work things out.
My demand(s) was pretty simple and straightforward as it was from day 1: “I am a PUA. I’ve been a PUA way before I met you and I will remain one until I cannot go any longer. So, this means you must accept the fact that I will continue to pick up other women, not for relationship purposes, and not even for sexual reasons, but to hone my skills and to eventually teach guys this art. And quite frankly; I enjoy picking up women. You either accept those terms or we break up…and I’m cool either way. I also can’t guarantee that I won’t sleep with other women. That will happen”.
She hesitantly accepted the terms of the relationship and it’s been happy ever after.
As with every relationship, though mines is very different, it still carries with it the traditional issues of every relationship: arguments, conflicts, ups and downs, etc.
The key variant here is that I enjoy a relationship which suits my lifestyle.
It didn’t sit well with me that I was gradually becoming my girlfriend’s bitch.
Here is where the article addresses common relationship questions that guys may have, such as ingratitude and ungratefulness on the part of their girlfriend.
Men generally want to know if it’s a form of a test whenever their significant other acts out and gets ill-mannered.
The answer is yes and no.
Her acting out can just be that: a test.
However, it can also be a sign of disinterest in furthering this relationship.
Here is the deal when it comes to women and power in a relationship (the dichotomy): a woman will do everything within her power (scheme, plot and plan) to gain control of the relationship.
When she does get that control, largely because men hand it to her, she won’t quite know how to process or manage it so she becomes discontented.
In conjunction with that discontent, she begins to feel as though she’s dating a weaker person than she is, hence she loses interest and begins to act out.
News flash: women don’t want to be with men whom they can control, nor do they truly want a partner whom they deem as equal. But that’s an argument for another article.
Anyway, so once you have done your assessments and come to the conclusion that your girlfriend is testing you and pushing you by acting out and showing a lack of respect for you and the relationship by extension, you can’t just sit there like a doormat and endure the bullshit ’till eternity.
Nights ago, my girlfriend had done and said some things which really pissed me off as they were disrespectful and showed a lack of regards for me and the relationship.
After some bouts of argument, I suggested she apologize or else I’m gone…for good.
I didn’t say this directly (the “I’m gone” part), simply because women will often call your bluff whenever you hurl direct threats at them.
You want to instead give her the impression that you will reconsider whether you want to stay in the relationship or leave.
“Impression”! Not blatant verbalization!
What had happened with my girlfriend, and this may seem trivial to you, I was to return her laptop to her home; a laptop which I’d borrowed to do some video-editing work for a pick-up tutorial video (my computer couldn’t handle the demand) which should have been published to Youtube days ago.
I didn’t get to complete my video because the laptop battery died and my girlfriend had forgotten to put its charger in the laptop bag.
Anyway, so I felt that I was working against time here in the form of a deadline.
There it was- I was trying to edit and post this video to my Youtube channel by Saturday- it was now Wednesday (Feb. 17th, 2016) and I’m yet to fucking complete the video, let alone post it because the laptop needed to be charged and my girlfriend had the charger at her place.
I went all the way over to her home which is on the other side of town: but she wasn’t home!
Goddamn it! At least have the fucking decency to tell me ahead of time that you won’t be home!
She knew that I was hustling to come by her for the laptop charger, but neglected to tell me that she was to leave and return.
I then waited outside in the yard for her to return with the keys.
Remind you: though I was desperate as fuck to get the charger in order to complete my project, I never told her to stop what she was doing just to bring me the key to her house so I can retrieve the charger.
She insisted on doing so…so I waited on her.
Ten minutes elapsed.
Thirty-five minutes and she hadn’t returned.
Now I was fuming with steam bursting out of both ears!
I felt that my time was blatantly being wasted and disregarded!
A 10 minute trek back to her house has now turned into 40 minutes while I waited around in the yard like a tool.
I eventually left before she returned.
This all led to a massive argument Wednesday night.
Note: disagreements happen. It’s expected. But unapologetically pushing buttons just to get a reaction or to provoke a test is a whole different ballgame.
All women test. But does that mean every guy should just roll over and allow his girlfriend to just push his buttons like a toy?
I don’t play that!
On that note, I decided to play hardball and give her some space.
Is this a classic PUA freeze-out tactic?
Not quite. I am not exactly freezing her out (cutting all contact). I am withdrawing any form of affection, attention, intimacy, sex, etc.
I’m essentially going cold as punishment.
I find this to be an effective way to get a girl back in line. It works with my girlfriend.
Here is the thing: women often pull this shit on guys and get away with it.
When a girl is upset with something her boyfriend might have done or said, she locks off her emotions, affections and withhold sex from him as a way to punish him.
Guys rarely ever have the balls to do this to their girlfriend because of:
1.) Fear that the girlfriend might go and cheat as a result
2.) The fact that he won’t be getting sex as a result of withholding sex from his girlfriend
A guy like myself on the other hand, who has options, and doesn’t need to rely on my girlfriend for sexual pleasure, I can afford to withhold sex from her in order to get her back in line.
Are these tricks and games?
Sure they are!
Women play them. Why shouldn’t men?
This is actually what messes up most guys. We come into relationships under the impression that games are now over.
For men, we do cut the games while the relationship enters the frame of official and exclusive.
Women on the other hand, they triple down on the games in order to gain control in the relationship.
Saying that to say, merely voicing your discontent with something you girlfriend had done or said, isn’t enough to get her back in line.
You must take action in order to punish her (such as withholding sex from her).
She may very well believe that you are fucking some other girl by going cold on her with the intimacy. But so what!
Let her own mind torture her a bit until she conforms and apologizes.
At the end of the day, a woman will only truly conform and quit the games when she realizes that you have options and that she isn’t indisposable.
You don’t actually have to go out there and fuck tons of girls just to prove the point that you have options.
Your vibe and actions alone will do the job for you.
Withhold sex from her as she does with you!
Go cold on her!
Withhold affection and intimacy. Just treat her as if you 2 weren’t together or are just non-intimate acquaintances.
If she goes out and fuck some other guy because of this, it means that she wasn’t going to be faithful anyway (or hasn’t), so she had only managed to show her true colors, now you have all rights to move the hell on.
If she doesn’t go running into another guy’s arm as a result; then you know she’s a keeper, but she just needs to get her reality shattered a bit in order to get back in line and to treat the relationship as though it’s an equitable venture and not a power struggle.