Hey guys, been a while since I knocked up a field-report post.
Yesterday- I got rejected for the first time in months!
Straight like that!
Firstly, I must inform you that rejection doesn’t exist.
Yes- rejections don’t fucking exist!
Sure they do. But the way in which you handle and perceive them will give power to rejections…or take away from them. So it’s all about your interpretation of what rejections are.
For me, and this is what we teach in the seedy school of PUA, rejections shouldn’t be taken as rejections, instead the PUA should extrapolate lessons from them and live on as though they (rejections) never happen.
That is sound advice for newbies and guys who struggle with the thought of being rejected.
On an even deeper and personal level: I laugh or at least smile in the face of so-called rejection.
As you advance in the game, rejections will not hurt 1 bit.
I’ll speak more about that in just a bit.
Okay, so yesterday before grabbing myself some lunch, I spotted a girl with massive melons prancing up the busy street.
It appeared to me that she was part of some fragmented group (I later found out) with each member walking a distance away from each other.
I later found out that they were AIDS and HIV secretariat workers running the streets, handing out condoms which were neatly packaged with a Valentine’s Day presentation and a hideous note to its recipient about wrapping up the sausage.
I was later given 1 of these neat packets (pictured below with an attached mint ball in decorative ribbon) by 1 of the girl’s coworkers.
Anyway, so as the OMD (Object of My Desire), the AIDS prevention worker girl with huge bouncy melons, came my way, I said to her from across the street with a smile on my face as traffic passed:
Me: “Hey! Tell me you don’t remember me”!
I played this up to the hilt!
One of my classic and favorite ways to open a girl is by using that opener: as I spot the target, I would smile as though we are/were former acquaintances who haven’t seen each other in ages.
This works very well…especially when done with a pleasant face, smile and authenticity.
Me: “You don’t remember me”?
Girl: “I’m not sure”.
She gives a quizzical look as she ponders over it.
Of course she doesn’t remember me…because she doesn’t know me! 😈
My opener routine went on for about 15 second before I snip and stack.
Me: “University…2001…we were classmates”?
Girl: “I wasn’t in university at that time. I was way too young then”.
I then laughed it off and told her I was kidding.
Side note: when throwing an opener/ice-breaker, be it online or in person, make it fucking brief as possible!
Most guys foolishly milk the opener to the point that the girl gets bored and begins to ask herself, “Where is this shit going”?
Hence, your opener should be for the sake of opening the conversation and not to carry it on the same topic. So, once I opened this girl with the “don’t you remember me from university”, I wisely held that thread for only about 20 seconds before I said to the girl, “Just kidding…hi…I’m Kenny”.
Me: “Just kidding. BTW, I’m Kenny. And I have to confess that that was a cheesy-ass pick-up line and I deserve to be punished for approaching you with such lame game”.
As expected; she laughs and smiles at the humor spike.
Side note #2: Don’t fucking be afraid to bust on yourself and make fun of yourself. This shows the girl that you aren’t trying to please her by putting on some stellar and perfect performance for her.
Additionally, it is a great strategy when you pull back and admit to the girl that you attempted to pick her up with a cheesy opener.
Girls find this humorous and different.
Me: “So…I hope I got an A+ for effort. Though my line was cheesy and lame, it’s the attempt that counts”.
At this point, though she was there engaged, chatting with me face to face as I had stopped her, I noticed that she was in a rush and the proverbial clock on this pick-up was ticking.
Time constraint is a bitch!
A bit afterwards, she said that she had to get going…which was obvious to me because her disjointed crew was somewhat waiting on her ahead of us. So I knew this was a genuine plea and not a brush off as most girls would pull whenever they don’t want to talk to a guy.
In such a situation where the girl genuinely has to go, you are then faced with 2 choices:
1.) Exist the set and leave without the number
2.) Attempt to grab a quick number
I decide to violate 1 of my top-personal rules by going for the # without anything as far as conversation.
We had only been talking literally for about 60 seconds max! That is NOT a high percentage shot for which to attempt to get a #.
I teach guys that they should only attempt to get a # once they would have had at least 15 minutes of chat time in the bank.
Here it was I didn’t even have 1 solid minute but I decided to go for it anyway…hence the so-called rejection.
Girl: “I kinda have to go since I’m late for…”
Me: “Yea I notice. But hold up real quick. 1 quick second. I can’t just let you go without establishing some form of communication”.
Girl: “Well…you can add me on Facebook. My name is….”.
Me: “I don’t do Facebook. You do whatsapp messenger”?
Girl: “Yeaaaaaaaa…but…I don’t give out my number like that though”.
Me: “What’s the big deal if you do? We may never see each other again”.
Girl: “Well my boyfriend may have a problem with me giving it out”.
Since her coworkers were now visibly spectating, I knew that the set was lost and it was then impossible to squeeze out a quick number”.
In hindsight- and here’s the thing- even if she had given me the phone #, it would’ve likely been either a fake, or if it were real, she would screen my calls and avoid talking to me.
How so? Because I wasn’t allowed ample time to establish any form of attraction between the girl and me.
This is why you always want to extend your initial conversations as long as humanly possible!
The more time spent talking to the girl on the initial approach, the more solid a phone number would have been. Less time; and the opposite takes place.
Hence, it was a huge gamble on my part to even attempt a number close without having the sufficient time to build anything. So a so-called rejection was imminent and was the likely outcome…as it was.
She walked off as I tried to get her to stay by calling out to her, but she respectfully objected with a pleasant smile, “Sorry I have to go”.
Side note #3: When going for a girl’s phone number, discretion is paramount. The moment she realizes that all eyes are on here (meaning her friend’s or coworker’s), she will likely decline to give her digits so as to not appear easy in front of her peers.
Thus, this will be a contributing factor in number closing.
The girl may very well like you: but she will reject you on the basis that others are observing. In this case from yesterday, it was the girl’s coworkers.
Now, I’m not saying that that was deciding factor as to why she so-called rejected me. But in a great portion of cases, it will likely be the case.
Hence, always be discreet when gunning for the number.
This should be applicable online and in person.
I am sick and tired of seeing guys on Facebook, in the comment section on a girl’s post, begging for her phone #, blatantly violating the social rule of discretion.
How to handle Rejections
Okay, so that was it.
In layman’s term: I got rejected.
To me; this was NOT a rejection…and I don’t take it as such.
Furthermore, whenever a girl so-called rejects me, I don’t take it personal!
I chalk it up to logistics (bad logistics) and fate.
It just wasn’t meant to be.
Rejections don’t sting in the least. If and when a girl rejects me, I slyly smile about it and move on to the next girl.
If you’re fairly new in the game, rejections will fucking burn and kill your momentum.
It is part of the game as a beginner to take rejections hard.
However, as you advance over time, getting rejected will have no negative impact on your state or game.
Therefore, when a girl declines to give me her phone number, though I persist to the bitter end, if it doesn’t work out, I move on to the next set as though I was never rejected by the previous girl.
That is how you want to take rejection. But in your defense- presuming that you aren’t a master day-gamer- I expect you to continue to take rejections seriously and to get all butt-hurt by it.
Over time, as with every endeavor in life, exposure will beget the “3 ‘ences”: Confidence, Competence and Resilience.
I want to conclude this post on the topic of averages: the law of averages.
As the title of this article clearly states, this has been my first so-called rejection from street approaches in months…many months.
Usually, whenever I go for the phone # or a close in general- at least over the past 10-12 months- I have a 100% success rate in getting the number.
Sounds astronomical and disingenuous, but the reason I have such a high success rate, especially over the past year when it pertains to number closing, is because of time spent in set.
Again- if a woman, a stranger, tolerates you chatting her up for 15 plus minutes, there is no way conceivable in hell that she would deny you her phone number.
It just isn’t possible…OH- unless however, your conversation was lame and boring as fuck. But then, when would a girl just sit/stand there and subject herself to 30 minutes of boring conversation?
In any case, my attempted number closes are usually done when my chances of getting the number would’ve been really high. Hence, I rarely ever get rejected or ever get a girl not give me her number whenever I go for it.
The girl from yesterday though, as I plainly expressed, I went contrary from my own rule of closing, by going for the number in less than 60 seconds, and I was slapped in the face by myself for contravention of my own rule.
I knew better, but went along anyway.
Here is the key point of this though: if someone is working; no need to fix it!
If something works for you 95% of the time, you don’t, or shouldn’t, abandon it just because it didn’t work 1 time.
This approach, opener and routine of mines (that I used on the chick yesterday), has a 100% success rate over the past 3 years +…that is whenever I use this gambit.
Having it not work just once, or in minimal cases, shouldn’t call for going back to the drawing board.
If your approaches, routines, styles and gambits fail more than they work, then it would be wise to rethink those approaches. There is obviously something wrong (it may just be you nevertheless).
However, you don’t want to base your maneuvering and future-tactical approaches on the few approaches which fail.
On that note, I leave you with 2 older rejection videos of mines, just to show you that even my approaches get rejected. 😉