There’s a funny paradox in life which seems to baffle everyone, from the most schooled to the haplessly ignorant.
When I first entered the pickup community, it was still an anomaly as to why this happened so often.
Why is it that whenever we care too much about a particular situation or a particular girl or guy, some unseen element sees it fit to throw a monkey-wrench in the game and jinx the process in an unfavorable way?
It’s like The more we want her, the more we lose her…and faster.
The more we want it, the more it eludes us.
When it comes to texting girls in particular, this universally anomalous principle still embeds itself within the frameworks of the interaction.
However, another paradox naturally interjects itself since I teach you guys how to text girls, which means that in essence you will have to engage the girl, and this could possible chase her away.
A balancing act it is. But I never advocate for chasing girls over text. What I do promote are short bursts of attraction material [via texts] which will capture and keep the girl’s attention without actually chasing her away by over-investing.
In order to stem this unseen attraction-killer [wanting yet eluding], you must learn to cultivate a nonchalant attitude about things which says to women: “I can take it or leave it”.
Now, being “nonchalant” and having a blasé vibe about things, doesn’t at all mean that you should be passive and non-proactive towards seducing and banging the girl.
I wrote about this some days ago where guys drop the ball constantly by being too passive and too aloof.
When communicating such a vibe [“I can take it or leave it”], it is carried across through various attitudes [textual and energy-wise].
For instance, saying to a girl; “I’m not much of a texter so we’ll have to catch up in person to get to know each other”, is a perfect example of the mindset you want to cultivate and communicate.
There’s no girl too hot or too important that you should have trepidation about communicating this energy and vibe.
Girls do it to men all the time.
This is called the hot girl blasé.
She rarely ever invests so much that she risks losing her “I can take it or leave it” edge.
As for men, having the badboy attitude, or even a jerkish, cocky personality, also communicate this vibe.
The only guys who fail to communicate the “I can take it or leave it” vibe [not surprising: the whopping majority of men by the way] are the self-professed “good guys”.
Most guys will consider themselves “good guys” and good catches, hence why they play the “I will forever be there for you and with you baby” skit.
Unfortunately, such a vibe which comes from 96% of men- at least on this side of the globe- is a losing one. And the paradoxical-jinx effect from over-investing will have manifested itself.
Overall, the one who shows that he or she wants it more will stand to lose the most [energy, time, etc].
For men; it isn’t that you shouldn’t ardently want the girl. Just that you have to be mindful of the paradoxical-jinx effect whenever you communicate to the girl that you’re willing to swim across the ocean just to be with her.
Too much interest shown over text and the girl flees from your pursuit.
Thus, it is wise to cultivate an attitude and vibe which say, “I can take it or leave it”…”It isn’t that important”.
It is for this reason why I frame my so-called dates and rendezvous in a way that is unplanned, casual and of less investment.
On the other hand, I’m quite sure there are some guys going, “But Kenny: you seem to put a lot into your texts, especially when you become sexually explicit! For crying out loud: you even sext with girls”!
However, though I do sext, and though I do often have fiery-text exchanges with enough passion to produce enough energy to electrify a country…this is all done ‘STILL’ within the frameworks that I can take it or leave it!
It is all communicated non-verbally and the girl senses this nonchalant energy about me. Therefore, I can afford to seemingly chase and get all exuberant and passionate about the girl, without the risk of turning her off.
This is all mitigated through my forward approach from the gate.
For instance, whenever I meet a new girl, let’s say that this is a random stranger on the streets, my tone and energy from the inception is always either sexual, testy, forward or physical…or all of the previous.
By coming off in such a way, the girl instantly gets the sense that you don’t need her, and you are NOT trying to make it work in the sense of playing things safe.
If it happens; it happens.
Thus should be your vibe from the get-go! And not, “I must get this girl or else I’ll die”!
Such a vibe is great to convey in person, but it’s an attraction-killer when done wrongly over text.