Ok lad, today we’ll be dealing with a very common occurrence between male and female during the courting phase.
Typically, if you as the guy go down the road where you give the woman the slightest hope of a possible relationship, she will run with it…even though she knows to herself that she would never date you.
This is why you should avoid setting a boyfriend frame when you’re trying to hook up with a girl.
With that being said, most guys still make that mistake and end up in the string-him-along zone where the girl in turn gives guys a glimmer of hope by acting the part of a potential girlfriend down the line.
With the dynamics being so, it is very common to receive such a text message as follow:
Girl: “Hey Greg. What are you bringing me for dinner tonight”?
Generally, a girl will feel reservation in asking a guy such a question as to not come off as a gold-digger.
However, since the guy would have played his hand wrong and inadvertently give off the boyfriend vibe, the girl then feels much more comfortable to ask such a question as, “What are you bringing me to eat for lunch”?
In all essence: you can’t blame her!
The guy is at fault for leading the vibe down the wrong road [relationship] opposed to setting a “I wanna hook up” vibe.
Even if you do genuinely desire a relationship with the girl, you still want to establish a hook-up frame and then take it from there once you might have hooked up.
However, you don’t at the inception of the pickup, want to set up a relationship frame/vibe, or else the girl will treat you as a potential boyfriend by requesting things and favors of you.
If you have no qualms with being her provider without getting anything for it: then be her provider by all means!
Here’s a screenshot as example from a chat between a student of mines and a girl he’s trying to hook up with.
Note where the girl does this…and you now know why she did it [because he set a boyfriend tone initially].
Due to him framing the interaction wrong [by setting up a relationship frame], the girl now feels encouraged and embolden to ask for something.
Is she a gold-digger?
Had she been dealing with a guy who knew how to set the “I wanna hook up” frame from the inception, she would not have been misled into asking for things.
On a side note: women react to the frame in which you present them.
If you communicate to her that you’re willing to be her sugar-daddy and spoil her rotten; she will expect that and run with it!
If you present yourself as the type of guy who loves to care for women, pamper them, cook and clean for them; then the girl will know how to act accordingly.
Additionally, if you present yourself as the type of guy who sees her as a sexual being because you yourself are a sexual being; then she will act accordingly by playing that role…which means she won’t hurl requests and favors your way.
As a woman; she’s still inclined to do it, but just to test the waters in order to verify whether she’s dealing with a weak provider-type male or a dominant and sexual man who puts sex first and everything else.
Ok, so to be clear here: if a girl asks you to buy her something, be it a drink or snack, you should only do so only if she accepts to hang out upon delivery of the inexpensive goods.
That is the fucking bargaining chip!
Either you flat-out say “NO; I won’t buy”! Or you say “Sure; as long as we’re hanging out”.
Always dangle your want and desire in front of her face!
She’s stuck at home and wants you to bring her a pizza?
Ensure that she knows it won’t be a mere drop-off and go, but a rendezvous instead at her place.
Most guys would aimlessly grab the pizza, drop it off and leave in a flash.
NO, NO, NO!!!
Make sure that the girl knows it is a 2-way street where both parties should get their requests met.
In this way, you train women to become more complaint and cooperative.
Now check out the added text log to see how my student handled this correctly.
That was an almost perfect response to the girl’s request.
Had he eliminated the “?” mark at the end of his text, it would’ve been a flawless response.
As I cited in a previous post: question marks give off the impression that you’re seeking approval and you’re coming from a position of lower value than the girl in this case. Hence you want to ask without using question marks unless you really have to…in order to avoid ambiguity about what it is you’re asking.
In any case, don’t lose sight of your goal and the reason you’re communicating with this chick in the first place.
It isn’t to become her texting-buddy, phone-buddy, platonic friend, male BFF or – rather worse- her hapless provider.
Lastly, allow me to make this crystal clear by saying that this doesn’t apply within the confines of an already relationship.
If you’re already exclusively dating the girl or having a fling at least, then you obviously run no risk of getting shortchanged and thrown into the provider zone or friend zone.
By all means; deliver lunch and dinner to your girlfriend without a string attached.
You really have nothing to lose.
It is your duty in a sense.
However, if she is a girl whom you haven’t dated, aren’t with and never shagged: don’t do any favors for free unless she’s willing to bargain and meet you half way by actually agreeing to meet up with you at the time of the transaction.
Don’t let her psyche you the fuck out!
Women are notorious for bamboozlement!
Therefore, you don’t want a situation where she hits you with:
Girl: “Pick me up the pizza please and drop it off and we’ll meet up tomorrow evening”.
Girl: “I’m busy at the gym so you can pass and drop off the shake and protein bars and I’ll see you in about the next 2 hours after I freshen up”.
Don’t fall for any reign check!
She will flake almost every time by going back on her flaky promise!
Thus your frame/mindset has got to be: “I’m bringing the stuff. Hope you have a movie”.
Always be on guard for little-subtle tricks that women play.
All in all; it isn’t the worst idea to do a girl a favor. Just as long as she knows you’re immediately expecting a return in the form of meeting up.
If she opposes to this by any stretch [meeting up]; cut her off immediately!
She’s just out to use you for small favors without the intention to see you!