The friend-zone and text-zone are terrible enough. But the boyfriend zone is equally self-defeating for the guy who doesn’t quite have ‘Boyfriend’ at the top of his agenda.
I watched a video recently on Youtube from Todd Valentine, the pick-up instructor, who talked about the boyfriend zone, just that he didn’t attach a label to it as I am doing here.
Every now and then, I would get put in the boyfriend zone, due to no conscious fault of mines whatsoever.
As Todd had cited in his video: this would periodically happen to him also.
He would pick up a girl, run the gamut of a normal seduction, get the girl to meet up for a Day2 [1st date], etc. All seem well until he tries to take the girl home, or even remotely implies that he has a sexual agenda: everything goes South in that the girl doesn’t necessarily want to sleep with him [then], but she begins to see him as boyfriend material.
If a girl sees you as boyfriend material: fine!
If you’re looking for a girlfriend at the moment [sans sex, i.e. without the perk of sex]- then by all means- have no fucking fear of the boyfriend zone!
However, as with Todd’s dilemma, so was mines.
I was NOT looking a girlfriend!
I wanted sex first and foremost!
What occasionally happens to some guys- as to why they get tossed into the boyfriend zone- is that they present the girl a too-good-to-be-true image which inadvertently makes the girl not want to ruin things if she happens to succumb to the guy’s early sexual advances.
I find myself in this precarious quagmire with every 1 in 10 girl whom I pick up.
I would meet a girl, get her to rendezvous somewhere, we would hit it off romantically and so forth- but she declines to have sex with me (too soon)!
In no way is this Last-Minute Resistance [LMR] which a guy will undoubtedly encounter while in bed with the girl.
When a girl puts you into the boyfriend zone, you’re not even making it to the bedroom, let alone to be faced with LMR! 😦 😯
Whenever a newly met girl gets to experience [not sexually] a guy unlike one she’s used to, at some point, this crosses her mind:
“This is so good that I don’t want to risk losing it”!
Every now and then; you will come across a girl who gets so drawn into your vibe [no fault of your own], that she fears having sex with you too early will cause her to lose you…and this is largely because of the stigma that most men want to hit it and quit it.
Guys of intellectual minds are often tossed into the boyfriend zone if they aren’t friend-zoned otherwise.
As an intellectual, and a guy who would sometimes fall into a habit of preaching and counseling, I was always finding myself in the boyfriend-zone with every 6 in 10 girls I picked up..and this was deep into my pick-up career.
The reason why intellectuals don’t get laid, and are horrible with women, is that we operate [in the seduction of women] on an intellectual plane, thinking to ourselves that women are attracted to intelligent men and are repelled by guys of lesser intellect.
Now- I know such a declaration is likely to have raised some eyebrows…but I’ll explain.
Logically; a woman does want a guy who has some intellect about things: life, love, relationship management, education, values, etc.
Emotionally; a woman doesn’t give a rat’s ass about a guy’s IQ!
Sexually: a guy’s intellect isn’t indicative of what he can do in the bedroom.
With those pointers raised, we now see why (so-called) intelligent men do poorly with women.
On a biological, survival-replicative and evolutionary level: a guy’s intelligence level means shit!
You have to bear in mind that on a fundamental level: a human’s greatest feat is to bear offspring.
The most worthy accomplishment a female can ever reach in life is to bear kids.
No career, job, promotion or experience holds more weight to a woman than the act of bringing forth children.
This is her God-given goal in life…if you subscribe to religion.
“Be fruitful and multiply”!
The reason why intellectual men don’t get laid, is because they don’t understand that fundamental role in life for a woman.
They [intellectuals] don’t realize that sex means more to a woman [and her survival] than how much money, prosperity and sound advice for the future they [intellectuals] can bring to the table.
We intellectuals also often fail to realize that what a woman says she wants, is entirely different than what she actually goes for.
She wants a smart guy with tons of money, knight in shining armor, great job or career, super attentive to her every need, spoils and pampers her, etc, etc, etc…yet she’s screwing an auto-mechanic or an unemployed chap who does nothing but party and pass time free-loading off of society, friends, family and women.
Yes- that is the average guy who women go for!
Logically, she doesn’t!
Emotionally, she does!
Her emotional circuitry are connected to her vagina.
Her logical and rational circuitry are NOT.
Hence, the guy who makes her emotional and simultaneously gives her that uncertain feeling of whether he’ll stick around or leave, likely a non-intellectual guy, will almost always get the sex bright and early without a hiccup [presuming he’s a guy with killer instincts such as a skilled pick-up artist].
On the other hand, an intellectual who rarely ever stimulates a girl emotionally, will almost always get strung along and treated as a non-sexual prospect…hence the boyfriend zone or the friend-zone.
Myself for example, even when I was doing everything right, following the PUA script to the letter: KINO escalation, touching, flirting, push-pull, etc, I still blunted my chances with the girl by trying to show how intellectual I was.
The problem with such approach as I cited above, is that intellect doesn’t get a girl’s pussy pulsating for cock…AT ALL!
Intellectualism is synonymous with nerd-ism.
Do nerds get laid?
The answer to that is pretty obvious!
Ok, so with that, am I advising you to become a dummy in order to get laid?
I’m advising you- that is if you are an intellectual like myself- to dial it the fuck back!
Though it is difficult for an intellect to do: you must put the intellectual side of you on the back burner if you want the girl to take you seriously as a sexual item any time soon.
Apart from the intellectual who gets strung along with the hope of sex some way down the line, I want to expound a bit on the other type of guy who gets boyfriend-zoned.
As I stated earlier, with every 1 in 10 girls I picked up, I was getting tossed into the boyfriend zone…though I was doing everything by the book as it relates to the pick-up script.
I damn sure wasn’t getting friendzoned since I wasn’t coming off as a friend.
Then how come I was faced with this situation?
Too much attraction and comfort material!
I would meet a girl, blow her mind something ridiculous with attraction material, but it wouldn’t lead to sex.
Little did I know, I was running too much attraction and rapport material to my own detriment.
The attraction was so powerful that the girl couldn’t imagine losing such an awesome guy…moi.
Hence, a one-off sexual romp wasn’t in the cards for her.
She seen me as an item in which to hold onto for the long haul…which means no sex.
Now, this is great fucking news…if I were looking to dump my girlfriend for another!
However, I just wanted a fling for however long it may last.
Upon the realization that I was using too much attraction and rapport [overusing them], I quickly refocused my game by laying off of the attraction and rapport and focus more on the seduction phase of courtship.
As for you, if you find yourself in similar situations where the girl definitely fancies you romantically but won’t have sex with you [the boyfriend zone], it likely boils down to 2 things:
1.) You’re coming off as too intellectual and too preachy like a farther figure
2.) You’re using too much attraction and comfort stuff at the beginning and not enough seduction stuff to offset the imbalance