Tuesday night while grabbing a snack at a pizza joint, I spotted a 3 set – a mixed set- 2 woman and 1 man, sitting and standing at a table while waiting for their orders.
The younger looking and more attractive of the 2 women, I singled her out for the approach.
I can either approach the 3 set and game them that way, or look for a breakaway and then approach my target while she’s somewhat away from her group.
That is just what I did.
As if by a stroke of luck: the girl stepped aside to make a phone call.
At that exact moment, I was at the other side of the pizza joint [about 30 yards away], observing and sizing up the situation.
Ok, though I, including the pickup community on a whole, preach that you should approach immediately without allowing any time to elapse, there are times when you should use the 3 minute rule [instead of the 3 second rule] before approaching the girl, particularly in venues and restaurants.
The thing is, in pickup, when we say “approach the girl immediately”, though not specified, it is meant particularly for street-game situations or fleeting moments such as a girl who is to board a bus or train and so forth.
In such a case [a fleeting moment], it is wise to abide by the 3-second rule and approach the girl then and there!
However, in a food joint or anywhere where the girl is expected to be somewhat a stationary target, if the logistics aren’t immediately favorable, you can scope out the dynamics for a better chance.
For instance, when I walked into the pizza joint, I spotted the 3 set right away.
They were all locked into a deep conversation.
For me to just approach the set, would’ve stalled its momentum and required a lot more effort to single out the girl in order to pick her up.
Hence, I waited a few minutes and the girl happened to distance herself from the 2 persons she was with in order to use her phone [a stroke of luck], then I approached her instantly as the moment presented itself.
As if a man on a mission who knows what he wants in life, I strolled across the pizzeria to make my approach with all eyes in the place squarely on me.
Quick note: lots of guys starting out in pickup, have major-anxiety issues when it comes to approaching and chatting up girls in front of strangers.
They fear rejection, especially under the watching eyes and listening ears of others around.
With this being the case, most guys elect to not approach the girl altogether.
As for myself, since this isn’t an issue for me anymore [social anxiety] and I simply don’t give a rat’s ass who sees me fail or succeed, I approached the girl while she talked away on her smartphone…about 100 eyes squarely on me at that moment.
Two things about making such approaches:
1.) Other men who see you approach women, will either hate you for it and wish for you to fail.
2.) Or they will admire you for having the balls to make such a move which they themselves cannot.
Therefore, whenever I approach a random girl, if I do give a shit about what other men will think [which I don’t], I focus on the positive [men admiring my style], which gives me greater encouragement to proceed.
Thus, that is a secret tip and mindset hack of mines as to how to gain courage when approaching strangers around other people.
Don’t think that other men are hating and watching to see you fail in order to have a great laugh.
Re-frame the situation in your mind, that other men are observing you in adoration and rooting for you to win!
Anyways, so I approached the girl in the pizza joint while she talked aside from her group.
This is the type of situation where I love to use the “awkward” factor to my advantage.
Case in point: I stood right next to the girl as if I was actively trying to listen in on her conversation.
I cocked my head over towards her (exaggeratingly) with a curious yet humorous expression on my face.
What else would a girl do but smile at my playfully awkward gesture?
She laughed and smiled.
Apparently, since I was able to overhear the conversation, she was speaking to her dad on the phone:
Girl: “I ate 2 giant lobsters today. My stomach is still full but I feel a little nauseous”.
As she blabbed on, I made this gesture:
She smiled and chuckled again.
Girl: “Ok dad, I’ll call you back tomorrow when we’re leaving”.
She hung up.
Me: “You know what. That is really rude! But only because it was your father on the other end why I’m letting you off the hook…this time”. 🙂
We both laughed away.
Recognizing it was pure humor, she apologized for having me wait.
Though I rarely ever do this [absolutely never], I extended my hand to her in order to shake.
Me: “I’m Kenny”.
Reason I did the handshake was because she motioned for it even before I extended my hand. So I just went along with it.
After a vibrant and bubbly 10 minute chat, their orders of food-to-go had reached via the waiter chick, so I knew I had to act now in order to get the number to set something up.
As she got up from her stool, following the lead of the 2 persons who she was with [later found out they were her coworkers], I said to her:
“Hey, real quick! Gimme your #”!
She hurriedly read out her phone number to me as they left.
This was Tuesday night.
Came to find out that she works with an election-coordinator group which monitors elections across the Caribbean.
Tuesday was actually local elections here on island.
After securing her phone # at the pizza joint, being that she was to leave the following day [Wednesday] as she related to me during the pickup, I knew I had 1 night and 1 night only [that same night I picked her up] to get to sleep with her.
Therefore, I engaged her in Whatsapp conversation in order to set up a rendezvous for that same night.
I shot her some texts just before 7 PM.
[My texts in the white background and hers in blue]
The 1st thing I suggested was to meet up at her guest-house but she was shacked up with her coworkers.
I then threw Plan B out there which is to take a stroll to the jetty [screenshot above].
I totally didn’t expect her to want to meet up so late [12 AM].
That should’ve set off the flake alarms early, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Ok, so approaching 12 AM, I hit her up again on Whatsapp asking if she [and her coworkers] was at *******, where she was doing some last-second computation work in the aftermath of the local election.
The following screenshot said it all as far as the pending flake.
She said to me:
“I don’t feel good”.
Red fucking flag!
That is 1 of the most common flake lines you’ll ever encounter when trying to get laid:
“I don’t feel good”.
At that point, I already knew what was up, knew it was a flake so I decided to delete her phone number and kept it moving.
How ironic that I just met the girl after 6 PM Tuesday evening, then was forced to delete her that same night [after 12 AM] after she flaked out on our rendezvous [below screenshot].
I told her I was disappointed…which was true.
She sent a message saying she’s sorry about flaking out on me.
Yea, yea, yea – I’ve heard that before.
As for cutting your loses with grace: I’m a strong proponent of doing just that.
I come across so many girls and pick so many of them up, that I’ve built up an immunity to instances where I lose girls due to flaking and indecision.
You don’t want to give flakers [women] the impression that you’re hurt and destroyed over the fact that you were stood up.
The most I do whenever faced with a flake, or the girl says to me, “Sorry I can’t make it tonight”, is to express my disappointment by saying to the girl that I am disappointed about the turn of events and I wish we were able to meet up.
It’ll never hurt you to express disappointment in that way. However, you don’t want to throw a fit and reduce yourself to begging, crying or bribing.
Overall guys, the grand lesson I want you to take away is a crucial 1 for your inner game. And that is that you must expect flaking and that women will stand you up on dates.
Don’t take it personally or you’ll go fucking nuts and begin to despise women as wanton liars and tricksters!
All may seem well leading up to the date. But she can pull the plug on it at the last second just as what occurred with me with the chick I featured in this article.
Also, you’re never too good at game to not be flaked on.
No guy is un-flakable.
In fact, the better your game is, the more flakes you will have received…but that’s for another post.
Flaking for a girl is a psychological decision she comes to [sometimes on the fly].
It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you.
In fact, the fact that she likes you so strongly, will lead her to flake and back out of a date to which she had previously agreed.
This is why when it comes to meeting up with a new girl, you want it to appear as pressure-free as possible.
With this set, I made the mistake of applying too much psychological pressure (through text) instead of leaning more towards nonchalance about the entire meet-up.
The reason I pushed it so hard and fast was very justifiable: the girl and her team were leaving the island the next morning [Wednesday]…in less than 16 hours from the time I picked her up at the pizza joint.
Hence, I wasn’t afforded any time to lag, lapse, play it all cool and build attraction by not chasing somewhat. So it was a very delicate pickup with the best option being an instant pull to an instant date to instant sex. However, that idea was blunted because of her work affairs.
Catch you guys later!