The other night, I received an e-mail from a long-time subscriber asking:
“Hey Kenny, how do I contact a girl who I haven’t texted in a while? I mean, what do I say and what kind of vibe do I convey”?
What timing he has!
Last night while scrolling through some dead contacts, I came across the phone number of a super-sexy fiancée whom I’d picked up a while back [late 2013].
You can read that field-report post here:
Due to a jealous fiance and shitty-ass logistics: I wasn’t able to fuck her before she skipped town days later for the neighboring island.
Having stumbled upon her number last night, I decided to shoot her a text.
This is a great way to re-start an interaction by the way…especially with a girl with whom the vibe had went dead for whatever reason.
Check out the entire chat log from Whatsapp Messenger.
[My texts in white: hers in the blue background]
Now, the point of this chat log is to demonstrate a few things.
1.) How to restart the texting
2.) The vibe you want to create
3.) Women- regardless of their relationship status- are prone to getting sexual with other men
Restart texts are important in the sense that you have to re-engage the girl in order to seduce her, meet up or get a date.
Where most guys go wrong in their re-start texts, is that they come off as boring and having nothing to say but the generic and lame, “How is your day going”?
Girls get sick and tired of the lame texts from guys.
They will simply ignore your boring-generic texts, or reply out of pity just to be nice and not to break your fragile heart.
When you restart the text game with a girl whom you haven’t spoken to in a while, or even a girl with who you’d texted some days ago, you always want to fucking (re)start STRONG, humorous and flirty!
By “Strong”, I mean with a vibe that conveys:
Being “carefree” is a sexy attitude to which women gravitate.
When you come off as passive, submissive and permission-seeking, you instantly lower your value to women.
With the same chick featured in the screenshot [someone’s fiancée], how was my vibe in the re-start text?
Did I give a fuck about offending her?
Was I gun-shy to get sexual with her?
Did I come off as though I respected her relationship/engagement?
Was I seeking her permission in any way to say what I wanted to say?
How did she react?
Was she offended?
Note: Women never get offended when faced with a guy who doesn’t give a shit.
The irony is: guys who come off as though they don’t give a shit, are usually the ones women hook up with.
This is no secret because we all know that hot women prefer to fuck bad boys and assholes, while happily passing up on the guys who profess to be bearers of standard and respect.
Therefore, the vibe you want to create all of the time, especially on the re-start text, is such a vibe that conveys a bit of rudeness and forwardness.
Also: Don’t ask fucking questions!
I tell guys that all the time [“don’t use question marks in your text messages”], and I repeatedly get rebutted with: “But Kenny: you use question marks”!
“Well- you’re not fucking Kenny, right”!?
The difference is, once a girl knows already that you’re high value, Alpha and dominant; there are many things I can afford to get away with that would otherwise put the nail in the coffin for you and the Average Joe.
I can get away with asking cheesy interview-type questions and filling my texts with ? marks, simply because I would’ve already set the stage from the get-go that I am a dominant guy who isn’t afraid to get rough, dirty and sexual.
I would’ve already generated and created so much attraction that I almost can’t do/say anything wrong that would turn the girl off.
The mistake guys make in such a context [texting], is that they come in already having no value to the girl, already seen as weak, Beta and permission-seeking, yet they decide to sneak a sexual remark into the conversation [trying to be covert], but in turn get shut down coldheartedly.
In order to get away with being forward with women, you have to first present yourself as being the prize and having equal to more value/status than her.
If Brad Pitt, or any other male actor, some rockstar or Drake goes up to a girl and say:
“I want to fuck you”
Do you think she would get offended and throw a fit?
Of course not!
Because such a guy has more perceived value and more social value than the girl/groupie/fan does.
The beauty is: you don’t have to be a rockstar or fly around the world in private jets in order to command respect from women.
You simply set that tone/vibe from the beginning of the pickup…that you’re the type of guy who gets his way in life, and you’re golden.
Another important point I want to show you is this. If you check back the text log above, you will have noticed this subtle yet significantly telling comment that the girl made to me [below]:
Whenever a girl tells you that you’re “full of yourself”: never take it the wrong way!
It is a damn compliment!
Quote: “You’re still that unbelievable guy”.
In retrospect: it is apparent that the girl and I shared prior involvement…though we never hooked up or anything.
However, when I’d picked her up back in 2013 in front of her fiance actually [unknowingly], I presented myself as a shameless, go-getting Alpha-Male.
Here’s an excerpt from that field-report post:
At this point, I figured I had to get her # before the fiance returns and possibly yank her away and fuck up the entire pickup.
HB: “Yea so I work here, so you can see me here some time”.
Me: “Wait wait wait, that isn’t good enough. Give me your # so I can call you weekend”.
Once again, I’m displaying power and out-framing her intentions.
She wanted to leave our next meeting up to chance.
I wasn’t about to leave it to chance so I grabbed her hand, “Wait”, and got her # instead.
The crazy shit though was while giving me her #, her fiance had came back to the entrance of the restaurant over hearing her wife-to-be giving me her digits.
In essence: my vibe was that of a boss who doesn’t seek permission from anyone.
The simple fact that you have the heart to cold approach women when no other guy is doing it, will have automatically set you apart from 99.9.9% of other men as a guy with balls and a boss’ attitude.
The final thing I want to touch on is my 3rd point: Girls will get sexual with other men in spite of their relationship status.
Lemme make this crystal clear: what I should’ve said was that Girls will get sexual with other men whom they perceive to be Alphas, in spite of their relationship status.
In other words, and as I eluded to in the previous paragraph, if you’re low valued and a weak permission-seeking guy: women will punish you harshly if you dare attempt to say/do something outside of the scope in which she has you…which you as the guy, inadvertently placed yourself there.
Hence, though women will cheat, get sexual, have phone sex and sexting sessions behind their BF’s and husband’s back, they will rarely ever engage in such activities with men whom they perceive to be beneath them…such as guys in the friend zone.
If she’s ugly and undesired: then sure!
Ugly girls need love too.
However, if she’s hot, has status and has lots of guys chasing her: then you don’t stand a chance as a guy whom she perceives to be weak, valueless and low on the totem-pole.
How would you know if women in general see you as a weak and valueless human being?
The best indicator is what you’re allowed to and not allowed to get away with…which is the grand lesson of this article.
Guys whom women perceived to be of worth, can get away with murder…proverbially…and literally.
If you’re a weakling in her eyes, you are vastly limited as to what you can say and do to her and with her.
No suggestion of hooking up if you’re a weakling in her eyes.
No suggestions of 3-somes…definitely not!
No sex talk or you’ll get chided out like a 5 year old being sent to the corner on punishment!
Any slight comment that remotely resembles that of a sexual insinuation, will get you scolded, ignored and blocked.
If a girl doesn’t respect you as a real man- an Alpha Male- she will show her disapproval quickly!
I’m able to regularly get away with sexual remarks and forwardness with women of all statuses, ages, races and classes, simply because they respect me as a real man.
Not because of anything inherently special about me. But from the vibe in which I give off from the get-go upon meeting them.
If you come off as a self-righteous saint: you will be expected to stay in that lane: ALWAYS!
If upon meeting a girl, you present yourself as Mr Respectable and Mr Non-Sexual; the girl will have expected you to remain there and to not deviate at all.
This is why it is really difficult to salvage damaged sets…even for the professional pick-up artist instructors like myself when it comes to coaching guys.
What I mean is, guys regularly sign up for my phone-coaching program in search of a remedy to their problem with ‘The One’…that 1 specific crush.
I routinely get that precarious guy who holds some sort of position in the church, who has a crush on a woman in choir.
All along, he presented himself as this saintly dude, asexual, pious as ever, would never offend women by flirting with them and so forth, yet that same guy comes to me for advice on how to fuck that choir girl with whom he’s been playing the Mr. Respectable charade for 2 whole years!
What is the problem here, and why is it so difficult for even a guy with my experience, to turn around such a set for someone who seeks my advice?
Quite simple: the choir girl would have already deemed him a non-sexual threat.
In her eyes: he is a weakling!
He has no value and no status in her reality as a sexual man…which means she will never allow him to get away with anything outside of the scope of friend-to-friend communication.
For him to now decide upon stumbling across a PUA website or from reading my stuff, that he should now turn the sexy and flirty on after 2 years with the choir girl, could only result in catastrophic failure via rejection and possible expulsion from the church upon report of this unforeseen turn of events!
It is essentially a suicide mission.
You can’t one day be seen as a saintly weakling to women, then tomorrow decide to approach those same women who deemed you a saintly weakling, as a rebirth of Don Juan or some rebellious character out of an action flick.
It won’t work!
This is why I advise every guy who is new to pickup, to delete every single girl from his phone contacts and start afresh!
Bar fucking none!
There’s little to no hope in trying to hook up with a girl who had friendzoned you a while back.
She won’t care for your new persona.
All she remembers is the old you.
The weak you.
The non-sexual you.
The guy who didn’t have the balls to flirt with her.
Hence, you should not be seeking advice on how to get with an old crush.
If you reach that point: it is already a lost cause!
Sorry to say.
There are tons of fish in the sea.
What you want to do with every new girl you meet from here on out, is to present her with a carefree vibe as I illustrated in the hidden-camera video below.
Doesn’t fucking matter if you’re in the church!
If you want to bang the hot choir-girl: you must firstly (sub)-communicate to her that you’re the type of guy who would bend her ass over the piano, lift her apron and fuck the shit out of her…if given the proper logistics…like when no one is looking. 😈 😈 😎
That is the vibe you must embody: whether in person, on the phone or through text.
With this same girl in the chat log from last night, by now, I can guarantee that she’s married, since when I picked her up back in November 2013, she was engaged to be married.
Not only that, but she’s a choir girl in her church. 😉 😉
The reason she got engaged to marry so young [she’s about 25] was that she wanted to adhere to the tenet of the monotheistic faiths which say “sex before marriage is unlawful”.
Ok- fair enough! I have no qualms with that.
Then why is she flirting with me, getting sexual with me and allowing me to get sexual with her?
I guess it’s alright…just as long as it doesn’t lead to actual penetrative sex. ❓ ❓
All jokes aside: with that bit, I just wanted to highlight the hypocrisy of women in religion and women in marriage.
Regardless of a woman’s religious and ethical views, or her relationship status: she will almost always throw those aside whenever faced with a dominant-sexual male who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and to present himself as the prized individual whom girls should chase.
This is why whenever I meet a new girl, regardless of her religious persuasion, I’m always forward, sexual and rude with her.
With my re-start texts: this frame/position is no different.
You have to remember as the man between the 2 parties: you are charged with the responsibility of setting the tone.
Not the girl!
Therefore, if you set the tone as an interaction between platonic buddies, then the girl will naturally follow suit.
If you set the tone as an interaction between sexual prospects: then the girl will naturally follow suit also.
However, this tone-setting has to be done from the gate, within the 1st minute of meeting the girl- LITERALLY!
You can’t spend 10 months in the platonic-friend zone talking about schooling, work and the her life goals, then decide to turn it up the 11th. month by getting flirty, forward and sexual.
Also, once you set such a dominant tone from the gate with women, it is a lasting 1!
Since women are rarely ever approached by men [through text or in person] who are un-stifled, the rare Alphas usually stick out like diamonds in the rough.
On a final, final, final note: Always end the texting first before she does.