Ok guys, some super-advanced game which goes contrary to some staples in pickup.
Getting a girl to come to your place without having been on a date or anything of that nature, is not a walk in the park.
Furthermore, getting a girl to commit through text and to actually follow through, is also not an easy task.
It is for this reason why in pickup, it is advised that you try to set up the so-called date through the phone or face-to-face only, and not through text messaging.
That is sound advice without a doubt.
However, you can always take a shot in getting a girl to come to your place through text.
Before I proceed, let me make this clear about the dynamics here. I am not specifically referring to girls whom you would’ve already been well acquainted with, already slept with, already dated, etc.
I am highlighting prospects whom you never slept with, never dated, never been out with, possibly never met in person [such as girls met online] and girls whom you don’t know personally.
It isn’t outside the realm of possibility to get a girl to come to your place if she were someone whom you fucked on a prior occasion, or someone who has already been to your apartment/abode…though it would’ve still been challenging to a degree.
This article will highlight and break down and some strategic prerequisites in facilitating the path to getting the girl to commit to coming by your pad.
Ok, for starters, let’s tackle the negative aspects: why doesn’t a girl usually jump on the idea of going to a guy’s place…especially if she doesn’t know him well?
What does she has to worry about?
Quite naturally: it’s a huge safety risk.
She can get raped, held captive and hacked to death [interestingly enough: women rarely ever logically take this into account].
Hence, there are great reasons for trepidation.
She has good reasons to not come to your place.
Over the phone or face-to-face, it is a tad bit easier to get a girl to say “yes” to stopping by your place.
Saying “yes” to your proposal isn’t the problem.
Having the girl actually follow through will be the tricky part.
Chances are: she won’t follow through.
However, in person or over the telephone, since there’s more social pressure upon the girl, she is likely to respond positively to coming by…though she will likely flake and not show up when the time comes.
Ok, so the thing is, after you will have picked the girl up, whether online, on the streets or wherever [and by “pickup”, I mean securing a phone number, Facebook contact, etc], you can now move to the next step of trying to get the girl to your place.
However, I have to warn you that attempting to get a girl over to your place by text, has it’s limitations and reaches.
This is not going to work with a girl who had previously rejected you, friend-zoned you and so forth.
Hence, it is best to operate from scratch with girls whom you’d just picked up.
Other exceptions are girls whom you might have picked up a while back, still have their phone numbers, but never really connected with by contacting them.
Be as it may, you want to start with a fresh girl, fresh set and fresh slate.
For instance, the chat log below is from a girl whom I’d picked up days ago [1 of about 2 dozen women].
Everything was fresh in that we recently met days ago.
Your chances of getting a stranger to come to your place is greater than getting someone whom you’re already acquainted with to come by.
I know this sounds counter-intuitive as fuck, given the fact that I mentioned safety issues as a reason for trepidation.
Anyway, so as you can see from the Whatsapp texts below [my texts in white], I was able to get this stranger whom I’d picked up days ago, to agree to come to my apartment and to actually follow through: by text.
Therefore, you don’t have to known the girl for a lifetime (or at all) in order to get her to your pad.
As I said previously: it is much easier to get a girl to come over whom you don’t really know, than one who already knows you.
Read this article of mines: Familiarity kills attraction.
Be as it may, before attempting to pitch the idea of she coming to your place, standard pickup game still applies!
This isn’t a shortcut of any sort.
You still have to have text-game skills and the ability to attract a girl through text (though this is limited) in order to even think about convincing her to stop by your place.
If you don’t know the basics of text-game and how to get a girl invested and engaged via text, then you may want to check out the following posts of mines.
Ok, after you would have built some sort of connection with the girl by text through normal text game whereas the girl is engaging, texts back and so forth, this is the framework that you actually want.
I repeat: the girl has to be responsive and engaging or else you have no shot in hell in getting her to commit to going by you.
You don’t want to actually make your suggestion on the 1st day of course.
I find that it is ideal to throw the pitch on the 3rd day of texting.
By no means does this mean to be engaged in texting back and forth for 3 whole days with this 1 girl.
I mean intermittently for the 3 days: a text here and there. A few minutes of texting over the course of 3 days will suffice in setting the stage…providing you’re doing it right [text game].
You don’t necessarily need to try to build rapport/comfort through text in order to get the girl to come by your place.
You just need to appear cool enough, sane enough, fun enough, funny enough, high value enough and non-needy.
This can all be achieved within 15 text messages or less…over the course of 3 or so days as I routinely do.
Ok, so the dialogue of your text messages doesn’t matter.
Just as long as you’re not talking to the girl about friend-zone shit or subjects that’ll land you in the dreaded friend-zone.
After you would’ve done enough to significantly get the girl invested, you can then get ready to make the proposal for her to come by your place.
How do you know if and when the girl is invested and engaged?
When she texts you first out of the blue with the customary:
That is all the indication you need to know whether a girl likes you or not and is invested: a simple 1-worder greeting via text.
You see the thing is: chicks have no fucking game!
Women are the absolute worst at game!
If you leave it up to a girl to seduce a guy over text, she will almost always fuck it up.
I’ll speak to this in a future article.
Ok, so once the girl initiates the texting, you now have all the leverage and grounds to suggest that she comes over to your pad.
How do you get a girl to initiate the texting?
If you had done everything right in the text-game department: building curiosity loops, etc, she will text you first…and bright and early in the morning too.
Now, it isn’t that you must have the girl text first in order to make your pitch.
However, getting her to initiate the texting is akin to having a 50 yard head-start advantage in a 100 yard race: it cannot hurt your chances to win but only improve them.
Ok, so on the 3rd day, after I noticed that this chick was totally into me, she had initiated the texting a day prior and so forth, I went on ahead to tell her that we should meet up.
“We” is very crucial here.
You always want to phrase the rendezvous as “We” and not “I”.
“I” and “Me” makes you seem somewhat try-hard and selfish.
Hence, instead of saying (through text): “I want to see you”. You want to say instead, “We should see each other”.
Always replace your “I’s and Me’s” with “We’s, Us and Ours”.
It gets rid of the ulterior-motive factor whenever someone mentions “I, I, I”: “I want, I need, I think”.
By making it “Us”, it shows the girl that you’re at least factoring in her.
Now, when I texted the girl saying, “we should meet up”.
Her reply was, “Ok, where”?
Sorry I don’t have the actual text log from whatsapp to support this.
When she asked “where”? This is where, when and how most guys go wrong in suggesting a date rather than the girl to come over.
The reality is, if the girl declines to come over on your offer, you can always fall back on a Plan B in suggesting a so-call date instead.
However, you can’t go from a date proposal, she refuses, to then try to get her to commit to coming to your place.
That is ass-backwards!
If she declines to go out for a cup of coffee with you, why the hell in the world would she accept going to your house?
Therefore, you want to shoot super high firstly, then work your way down with the less riskier option.
If she declines to come to your place, you can always suggest a date which she is likely to agree to since the risk and safety factors aren’t that grave.
Be as it may, she asks “where (should we meet up)”?
I asked her if she knew the directions to my area and apartments.
I didn’t say “let’s meet at my place” at that point.
I slowly insinuated it by trying to see if she was familiar with my area in other words.
Doing so had planted the subtle seed in her mind that I meant for her to come by my apartment without me having to actually spell it out.
As a guideline for you, that is how you want to initiate it: by asking her if she knows where you live, how to get there and so forth.
The girl will have known the deal.
She isn’t stupid.
She knows that you want her at your place. But she also knows that due to societal judgment of women as whores, she has to be spoon-fed certain details and suggestions.
Anyway, she didn’t quite know the apartments in seaside [where I live part time], so this is where I told her that I would guide her…as in give her directions for her to get here.
Now, I broke 1 of the cardinal sins of seduction by giving her a choice in the matter by putting a bit of responsibility on her…which could’ve backfired on me and resulted in buyer’s remorse and an unintended activation of her ASD [Anti-Slut Defense].
However, as a pick-up veteran, I am allowed to get away with breaking rules that newbies would’ve otherwise gotten fucked in attempting to do.
Ok, so what am I actually talking about here?
You never want to leave the decision-making up to the girl when it comes to logistical matters of a meet-up: such a date, time, place, venue, etc.
However, I made that mistake as you’ll see in the screenshot below [by essentially asking what time was good for her].
As a rule of thumb: don’t ask her what time is best for her.
You set the time and date and get her to commit to it.
If she can’t make that time/hour, suggest another time/hour without actually asking her as I did.
As for time and timing: Always set up the meet-up to your place the same day or the next.
Never set things up on Monday for Wednesday.
The girl will not fucking remember…or she’ll pretend to forget.
Not only that, but as time goes by (hours and days), this leaves enough mental space for something to go wrong as in the girl having second thoughts after lying in bed and reflecting on her day.
You want to leave no room for her to backward rationalize why she should not go to your place.
This can only be achieved by making the plans for that same day.
Make the plans/suggestion at 12 PM for 6-8 PM…if you get what I mean.
If the girl is free in the AM’s and you are always: make the plans/suggestion at 8PM for 10-11 AM the next day.
Rapid planning leaves less time for the girl to come up with excuses.
That’s pretty much it guys.
It’s all about building attracting, getting the girl invested to chase you, then using that to your advantage by suggesting she come to your place without having to actually say it but to find out if she’s familiar with your area.
Remember: you don’t always have to settle for going on lame-traditional dates!
The reason you always felt that you had to go the traditional date-first route, is because you never actually tried the “come to my house” first strategy as I’d shared with you.
You’ll be amazed at how many girls are open to stopping by your place without going through the usual crap of dinner, date and movie for 3 months on end.
Just as much as you’d like to cut to the chase: women will like the same also.
If you do encounter resistance upon suggesting she stop by your pad- resistance in the form of “why do you want me to come by you”- always keep it simple and be smart in that you don’t say to her, “Come by so we can fuck”. Instead, “Come by so we can check out this movie”. Or, “Come by and help me cook”.
If you encounter further resistance to that: call it off for another day or 2!
If all fail, you are always at liberty to going the traditional route of a so-called date or something of that sort.