The Case-Study Of A Hard-Case Newbie.
There’s absolutely no pleasure to be derived from the failure of someone under your tutelage.
If and when a student of mines fails to get good with women in general, or fails miserably in an attempt to get a particular girl; I take that shit personally.
His failure means my failure as a coach.
Without a doubt I’m a great coach at this delicate art. So I go the extra mile to ensure that my fail-to-success rate is kept as low as humanly possible just to maintain my solid reputation and standing in this community of pickup.
Hence, there’s no room for failure when a guy seeks my paid assistance in getting this part of his life managed.
However, failure is like baning an HB5 as a PUA who’s accustomed to sleeping with stunners: it is inevitable and will happen from time to time. 😉
What irks me the most, are cases where guys under my tutelage fail to get off the ground (let alone succeed), not because of poor information imparted on my part, but limiting beliefs and stubbornness on their part.
About 2 months ago, a guy from the United Kingdom signed up for my exclusive-coaching package, which consisted of Skype and phone coaching, Whatsapp text-game tutoring and live-video sessions.
Being unfamiliar with the pick-up scene just as most guys who take my programs, I advised that we start from bare scratch:
*What is attraction
*How attraction works
*How to attract women
*Inner Game tweaks
Guys who seek the guidance of a pick-up instructor, customarily come in with their specific problems and want to jump right in there while neglecting the fundamentals and the root causes of their perpetual failure.
This guy wanted to know how he could go about getting a date with a girl whom he’s been salivating over for the past months.
He wanted the right lines and right words.
Nothing else mattered to him.
This is the hard-case newbie syndrome which I’ll touch on shortly.
Now, what I told him was this:
“Dude, even if I give you the so-called perfect lines, perfect dialogue and the perfect words, you will still fail to get the girl! You must first learn the fundamentals of attraction and pickup and what attracts women”.
The fundamentals never sound sexy, which is why guys neglect them and want to jump full-steam ahead into the sexier aspects of pickup.
It is akin to the kid who walks into the boxing gym for the first time in order to learn the fight game.
Though the trainer repeatedly urges him that he needs to first learn the basics and fundamentals: how to assume proper stance, how to jump-rope, how to make a fist, calisthenics training, etc. the kid insists on skipping the boring details of fundamentals while electing to go bombs away on the punching-bag like the professional boxers do.
He then learns quickly as he spars for the first time and gets the shit beat out of him, how crucial the boring fundamentals such as doing pushups and sit-ups are, in becoming a sound boxer.
In pickup, hard-case newbies tend to operate the same way: neglect the basics for the advanced aspects of the game.
As a great lesson, I allowed my pupil in question to lead and take the approach he feels best.
Me: “Ok cool. You don’t care much for basics. Tell me what you want and we’ll go with that”.
Student: “Ok cool. There’s this girl in my church who likes me for some months now but I don’t know how to approach the situation. She gave me her number a while ago but I never called or texted”.
Me: “Ok. Then what is the approach you want to take since fundamentals aren’t what you want to begin with”?
Student: “I want the perfect lines to text her”.
Me: “Ok cool”.
I gave him the “perfect lines” to use as his first text, included some other “perfect lines” to attract this girl and to hopefully get her on a date.
I encouraged him to whatsapp the girl with the “perfect lines” I gave him.
I gave him some more “perfect lines” which got the girl to respond further.
Student: “Ok Kenny. Thanks for the help. It is working! She’s replying”!
Me: “Cool. Sure you don’t want to learn anything else”?
Student: “Nah I’m good. I just wanted to learn how to text the perfect lines to get the girl to reply and get her on a date”.
Though this was supposed to be a week-long program in which he’d already paid for, he insisted on cutting it short by the 2nd. day as he was able to get his hands on the “perfect lines”.
Student: “Thanks for your service Kenny”!
By the next day, I get an e-mail from the same guy:
“Hi Kenny, the girl no longer texts me back. I sent her 10 messages and no replies. Please help. What is happening here”?
I couldn’t help but chuckle and SMH at the hard-case newbie syndrome at play.
What he never understood was that it isn’t about the “perfect lines”.
Having the so-called “perfect lines” while neglecting the fundamentals of what makes women tick, is a disaster waiting to happen real fucking fast!
At times, you have to make guys crash and burn in order to learn that they must get back to basics before trying to run when they can’t even crawl properly yet.
However, this guy wasn’t convinced that the lack of fundamentals was the cause of his failure.
“It must have been the girl’s fault and her stink attitude why she’s not responding to my texts and don’t want to go out”!
With that, I made him a proposition.
Me: “Ok cool. The girl is the problem. She’s a stuck-up bitch. You know what, let me get her phone number in order to contact her over Whatsapp and game her up and let’s see what happens. I promise I won’t tell her that you gave me the #. This is just for experimental purposes”.
Student: “Sure! Here’s the # ******”…
Now, the key here was that I was going to show this newbie that the girl wasn’t the problem, but he was.
His lack of knowledge of the basics of attraction and text-game, were the issues.
I contacted the girl on Whatsapp by pretending as though I contacted the wrong girl by mistake.
I then proceeded to game her up.
With 2 days of strategic texting without the so-called perfect lines, I had the girl ready and committed to meeting up with me…though that would’ve been impossible since she’s all the way in England…but the point was made nevertheless.
I took screenshots of the entire interaction from start to finish and sent them to the guy.
He was shocked and somewhat let down that I was able to get the same girl to chase me and commit to a date, while he had her ignore him within the first few hours of texting.
What was the underlying difference in me getting the girl and he failing to do so?
It isn’t just about the lines but everything else to support them.
A fundamental rule such as “Don’t over-text or else you’ll chase the girl away”, is often ignored by newbies in search of the “perfect lines”.
A basic rule like “Don’t ask her any (or many) questions over text”, is also ignored by newbies as they go on a rampage by asking a million questions, thinking that doing so will somehow get the girl interested.
Other fundamental insights such as: “Learn how to get a girl invested and interested by building curiosity loops”, are often ignored because they don’t spell “How to get the girl in bed instantly”.
What such guys fail to realize is that the fundamentals and basics are what will get the girl in bed instantly, and not the “perfect words”.
Having the understanding of what makes girls tick is an unsung piece of insight that far outweighs that of the “perfect line” approach.
Whenever my pupils see me in action, be it on video or real-time text-game examples, they are always amazed at how easily I’m able to get the girl chasing and wanting to meet up.
However, they’re not seeing the underlying theme nor the sub-communications of why it works.
They’re only focused on the words/texts and the lines.
I then have to always remind them that it is the things which are unseen that are the most crucial in a successful pickup:
*Not asking questions
*Asking questions without appearing to ask questions
*Tension and curiosity loops
The list goes on!
Proper text-game includes all of the above elements and some.
Not Every Guy Is Built For Pickup
The quick-fix mentality and approach is the root cause of why most guys who seek advice in pickup, will fail.
With the same guy in question, he wanted a quick fix to his girl problems.
I can understand. We all want the fastest approach in life to every thing.
With women and dating however, quick fixes don’t exist!
A quick fix approach will lead to a quick failure.
This guy wanted a quick-fix approach so I shared with him some awesome lines that I regularly use on most women over text.
Upon failure, he realized that having skipped all the basics for the grandiose approach, wasn’t the wisest route after all.
After a bit of encouragement and free sessions, he decided to call it quits…without actually voicing it to me.
I call this the sore-loser spoiled-brat syndrome that most newbies are attached to.
If they can’t get the girl they want RIGHT NOW: then to hell with everything and everyone else!
Guys throw in the towel because of failure with 1 particular girl.
That is fucking insane!
What a way to grant 1 girl such powers over your love life.
Isn’t it absurd?
At the end of the day: not every guy who seeks tutoring in pickup is built for pickup.
Unfortunately, many of us who coach in this genre, get a bad rap as scammers, when in reality, it is a case of hard-case newbie’s unwillingness to get back to basics first, then work their way towards the more advanced stuff later on.
If a pick-up instructor is unable to deliver the quick fix: he must be a scam-artist!
Hence the existence of forums such as Slut Hate formerly PUA-Hate, which is notorious for branding every PUA instructor as a shady con-artist.
All in all, the sum total of failures of students in pickup, boils down to misconceptions.
“Coming onto a girl is pervasive and creepy”!
“Trying to sex is sleazy”!
“I don’t think girls like guys who approach this sort of way”!
I get tons of excuses as the examples above from guys who seek my tutelage.
The guys who do surpass and become good and eventually get the girl [or get girls], are the ones who let go of the misconceptions.