The Rule Of A Drink!
I came across an interesting Facebook post earlier from the oft-trollish pick-up coach, Mike Squattin Cassanova, who operates out of Las Vegas, Nevada.
His post obviously continues, but the gist of it is well understood.
For every guy who enters the world of pickup, the first rule he will have become acquainted with is:
“DO NOT BUY DRINKS FOR GIRLS…PERIOD”!
Surprisingly- most PUA’s do abide by this commandment of Game religiously [such as myself].
However, there’s a subtle twist to this unofficial commandment as I stated on the said Facebook post from Mike Casanova.
Though a sizeable portion of newer guys have been deviating from this quasi policy- as my comment above indicates- I caution newbies that they should stick to the usual script.
There are lots of rules, guidelines, unofficial policies and structures in pickup, that older heads deem antiquated, and to which they no longer adhere.
For instance: “Don’t text a new girl right away upon getting her phone number or else you’ll appear desperate”.
Great rule of thumb by the way!
However, most advanced PUA’s have broken away from this, whereas the more acceptable approach nowadays is to text the girl upon departure.
Rules are meant to be broken. But you have to have the fundamentals down in order to get away with breaking them.
Hence, if you’re new to pickup, you should stick to the rules.
Doing so is the standardized approach in any field of life, be it: work, play, sports, sex, etc.
My favorite analogy here, is that of the professional boxer in contrast to the amateur.
As one advances in the ring, garners more fights [wins and loses] under his belt, that vast experience in the fight game will have allowed him to get away with more chances and gambles, unorthodox punches, and skirting of the opponent’s counters with more ease, confidence and foresight than the amateur.
As an unskilled and untested boxer; any wise handler/trainer will advise him to keep his hands up, chin tucked, keep a proper stances and to observe any other fundamental rule of the game.
As one with minuscule experience in the ring; it will have been to his benefit to play it safe until he reaches the point where he’s able to deviate from the rules without much fear of reprisal and counter-action.
In the game of seducing chicks, the boxer’s analogy which I cited applies.
If you’re new to the field of dating [actively that is] , then sticking to a workable format [i.e. Pickup] will do you no harm.
We all need training wheels upon embarking on a new venture, regardless of the field!
The new employee needs guidelines.
You wouldn’t want a rookie pilot to just freestyle it in a single-engine airplane, and decide to contravene the basic rules of aviation to do something erratic with a crew of 6 passengers, would you?
Of course not!
Hence, reasonable-safety guidelines are put in place for a reason.
As a rookie/newbie in the game, going contrary to the “no drink-buying rule” of pickup, will have put you in the same position as the inexperienced pilot or driver, not being au-fait to the basics, yet trying to skirt the process as if he were a veteran.
What a guy who’s advanced with women gets away with, doesn’t at all mean that a newbie can and will get away with such things.
He will have only been setting himself up for FAIL!
Personally, I can risk buying the entire club a drink, and comforted in knowing that I won’t be perceived a try-hard, tool nor someone who’s looking to buy or impress anyone.
Though I don’t buy random strangers [girls] drinks at all. I can do it successfully and still not have the girl thinking that I’m trying to buy her time/affection/conversation with a drink.
That is the problem with buying a drink for girl at the bar/club.
Sure it’s a good gesture. But it won’t translate as such to the girl.
First things that’ll pop into her mind:
“Why is this guy buying me a drink”?
“Did he spike it”?
“Is this a date-rape scenario”?
“Is he trying to buy me”?
“Does he think that just because he bought me a drink, I’m somehow obligated to stay by his side the entire night”?
Nothing positive whatsoever will spring from buying a random stranger a drink at the bar.
If you’re looking a smile in return as a goodwill gesture- then sure- she may give you that.
Sure- she may likely give you that also…until she girl-codes her BFF’s for them to drag her away from you [the weird brink-buying guy].
If you’re gonna buy a girl a drink; do it without expecting a thing in return.
Just buy and go!
However, how wise is such a strategy [buy and go] when you will have only wasted cash that you could use to buy another drink for yourself? ❓
Therefore, the best approach [as a newbie] is to not buy drinks at all for a girl whom you don’t know.
If she asks/tells you to buy her a drink- then red fucking flag!
You don’t want such drama in your life to begin with.
No girl should be hitting you up for drinks at the club/bar anyway [no sane girl will do this anyway].
Likewise, you shouldn’t be offering to buy drinks for any girl.
Now, I’m going to delve into this a bit deeper to show you why it is a huge mistake to buy drinks for girls whom you’re trying to sleep with [I’m referring to girls whom you aren’t well acquainted with].
Firstly, buying a drink for a female coworker [presuming you’re not trying to fuck her], is totally fine.
Women whom you aren’t trying to get with?
Fine as well!
When it comes to girls whom you’re trying to get with, buying drinks and wine-and-dinning them, will put you into the buyer’s frame.
In other words, the girl will not only see you as a provider type, but potentially a disingenuous nice guy who doesn’t know how to rely on his inner strengths in order to attract her, thus resorting to “buying” his way into her heart.
Now, you may argue that an inexpensive cocktail isn’t at all such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
After all- it’s just a fucking drink!
I beg to differ.
It isn’t the value but the gesture.
Goodwill gestures don’t get your far with women, simply because women won’t appreciate it since they weren’t wired that way.
Hence, you’re much better off [at least when starting to date or picking up a bunch of girls], keeping your cash to yourself in order to avoid any miscommunication of your intent.
As you advance in pickup and get better with women, and also gain the knowledge of how they tick, then and only then should you even think to entertain the idea of abandoning structure and preset guidelines of the game.
In a so-called date setting: sure it is reasonable to buy the girl a drink and or something to nibble on.
That is a completely different story.
However, you don’t want to be buying before you even reach 2nd base.
Most guys foolishly elect to buy as a way to kick the game off in the first place.
You never want the underlying theme of the interaction between you and a chick to be the fact that you bought her a drink as your quasi introduction. And now you’re expecting her to suck your cock because you gave her a drink.
Also, when you buy girls drinks/food, it lowers your value in her eyes.
Not that this is inherently a bad move. But it depends on the place from which it comes.
Most newbies, and Average Joes who don’t know much about a woman’s inner workings, unfortunately operate from the wrong place whenever they decide to buy a girl a drink, food or take her out.
As a result, they wind up making the girl leery of some possible ulterior motive, while simultaneously putting the girl on a pedestal, diminishing their chances even more.
Whenever I meet up with a girl; I always buy!
Now, I know this is shocking SHOCKING fucking news to my ardent followers!
However, as I hinted to earlier: it isn’t the gesture but from where it comes, and the hidden signals behind the gesture, plus the existential factors such as the so-called date itself, the setting and so forth.
Thus, whenever I take a girl out, or preferably tell her to meet up with me at a certain locale, it is NEVER somewhere neither formal, expensive, exclusive, nor impressive.
My so-called dates/meet-ups, almost always take place at a cheap fast-food joint which only serves snacks and junks, not exceeding $20 bucks.
The tone is set instantly, that I am NOT looking to impress her, neither buy her, nor make a great impact by showing her how much of a fancy-upscale guy I can be.
Those special things should only be reserved for a girlfriend or wife.
A girl whom you haven’t even kissed yet, isn’t deserving of a dinner date neither anything exclusive and fancy.
A burger and a milkshake on you [the guy] will suffice!
If the girl chooses to pay for her stuff or to go Dutch: fine with me!
However, I almost always pay before she arrives or upon us leaving.
As someone who understands the game very well, and is super knowledgeable of what women respond to; I can always break the rules and get away with them.
Me paying for a girl’s burger and a juice won’t make me look cheap nor as though I’m trying to buy my way into her pants.
All in all, as a rule of thumb; don’t buy girls drinks in the bar/nightclub.
If on a so-called date: feel free to pay for both or go Dutch [or have her pay for both].
As you get better at this over the course of years [yes I did say years], you will have been able to do whatever you please and still get the girl in bed at the end of the day.