Men Still Aren’t Learning – Common Mistake In Trying To Hook Up

When will men ever learn?

Earlier, I came across an interesting Facebook status post from an FB friend of mines. That post is of the screenshot below.

Since she writes in Caribbean-English vernacular, I will translate the status into standard English for clarification.


I hate friggin men…Y’all need to pay attention to your damn woman and leave me to hell alone shit…seems like y’all listen too much Kranium [a Reggae music artist] chupz [sucking teeth]. Don’t tell me shit about nobody will know caz I’m not interested

Ok, so her rant is pretty much understood.

On a daily basis, I would come across such vents and rants from female friends of mines on Facebook, expressing their displeasure with the AFC-Beta mindset of most men.

In non-pickup language, an AFC Beta-Male is your average Joe who doesn’t know much about how women work…which is + 96% of men in the western hemisphere.

Girls, whether over cyberspace or in real-space, are dead sick and tired of Average Joes pretending to be players in order to get poon.

Now, based on what you’d seen in the screenshot, you may ask yourself [or even ask me]:

“What is wrong with telling a girl that no one will know/find out if we hook up”?

Well- to be honest- that is the right approach to take as a guy.

If you have a girlfriend/wife and are trying to hook up with another hottie, logics would have it that you [the guy] should assure the other girl that confidentiality is the name of the game.

However, since women don’t operate on a logical and transparent plane like men do, the guy must exercise more covert and inconspicuous tactics when trying to convince a girl that they should hook up without anyone knowing.

If you’ve been reading my stuff for any time now, you would have known that 1 of my many talking-points is this:

“Women respond to the un-obvious and subtle, while men respond to the obvious, transparent and overt”.

In other words, chicks operate on a plane of subtleties while men operate on a more logical basis of what we can see and hear.

Therefore, saying something overt to a girl may turn her off [since she operates on a subtle plane]. While being covert and indirect would have the opposite effect in getting your point across without disrupting the girl’s perception in a given situation.

Ok, so with that in mind, let us reexamine the screenshot just a bit so you will see exactly where 98% of guys go wrong when trying to hook up with a new girl.


I hate friggin men…Y’all need to pay attention to your damn woman and leave me to hell alone shit…seems like y’all listen too much Kranium [a Reggae music artist] chupz [sucking teeth]. Don’t tell me shit about nobody will know caz I’m not interested

Now, do you get why the girl was ranting?

She wasn’t necessarily pissed that guys who already have girlfriends/wives, are trying to hook up with her.

She was pissed because they [the guys] “OVERTLY” said that “no one will find out”!

“Overtly” is the operative adverb here.

A girl may very well want to rip your pants off and suck your cock in the middle of traffic!

However, the fact that you [the guy] OVERTLY mentions it [“Suck my cock in traffic”], it will have disrupted and ruined the entire thing while turning the girl off in the same process [the sexual anticipation will have dissipated].

Again, when trying to convince a girl to hook up with you [for the 1st time that is], you MUST be verbally covert and subtle about it!

By saying to a girl, “nobody will know”, will automatically activate her Bitch-Shield, and in conjunction, her ASD [Anti-Slut Defenses].

A girl’s biggest fear is to be perceived a slut.

You’ve heard me preach that a lot around these parts.

The sluttiest of sluts, still don’t take light to being approached and treated like easy-breezy sluts.

Therefore, to directly say to a girl whom you haven’t yet banged; “Nobody will know if we hook up”, is just as terrible and inept as saying to a new girl, “Let’s fuck without a condom…you won’t catch anything”.

How fucking foolish can you guys get!? 😯 😯 😡


You must learn the art of communicating with a girl through her subconscious mind- her hind brain- through subtleties!

You must learn how to say something to a girl by not mentioning that “something” at all!

This not-so-clever art is called “Insinuation” and “Suggestion”.

You should learn how to “Suggest” your intentions rather than voicing it.

Marketers and advertisers use this subtle strategy all the time on consumers in order to trick them into buying and spending.

A good television or radio advertiser would rarely ever say to the viewers/listeners, “We want you to spend your money with us. Please come spend”!

However, they will subtly suggest and hint at the idea of you buying their product [be it food or gadgets]…without actually saying, “Buy or Spend”.

What does this have to do with getting pussy?


A guy who gets laid a lot, such as myself, NEVER says to a new girl whom he hasn’t yet shagged, “I know you have a boyfriend…but if we hook up, nobody will find out because I’m a secretive and confidential dude”.

Sure that is a SUPER GREAT fucking line!

However, it is too OBVIOUS!

It is too transparent!

It is too overt!

It is too direct!

It is equivalent to me selling penis pills through an infomercial while saying, “If you buy the pills, take them and your dick grows 3 inches, your girlfriend won’t have a clue that you’ve been taking something artificial to get size”.

Such a sales pitch is too direct on the angle of achieving an outcome [which in pickup: this would be dubbed “outcome dependent”].

Though you may desire a bigger cock in 2 days. It isn’t something you would feel super comfortable about in the event that someone catches wind of it.

Likewise with hooking up with new girls.

Though she may very well be on the prowl for new cock, she doesn’t necessarily want this piece of information thrown back into her face by some guy high off clueless, saying to her, “Let’s go fuck…nobody will know”.

Now, when you look back at the screenshot of the friend of mine, you will clearly see why she got so upset.

It wasn’t because men [some with girlfriends] wanted to hook up with her.

Horny men hitting on girls is something that every half-way decent looking chick has to deal with on a daily basis.

This girl in particular is super-fucking hot! I NEVER ever rate girls as 10’s. But she’s a fucking 10 straight out of bed! So she gets thrice [3 times] the amount of guys hitting her up for sex!

She actually looks like a prettier version of the singer Ashanti, but with a shapelier body…and bigger boobs. 😉

However, these guys operate without tact…which is standard operation for 96% of men in the western world.

Why do men repeatedly fall into such holes of ignorance when trying to get laid?

They simply know no better.

The average Joe doesn’t understand females.

He actually believes in the fallacy that girls are just like men in how they respond to externalities and everything else.

Since men in general believe to themselves that women operate similarly to men, a normal-minded guy approaches the idea of women as though women ought to react the same way as men do.

This obviously is where most guys go dead wrong.

Women are subtle creatures.

Men are overt creatures.

A great example of this is:

Men “OPENLY” check out girl’s asses on the streets.

Women “SECRETLY” check out guy’s butts on the streets.

Both parties definitely love the same thing [ass, buns and watching buns]. But they go about expressing this fondness in different ways.

Likewise with sex and hooking up.

Both parties are enamored with the idea of flesh-to-flesh communication, i.e. sex!

However, men go after it openly and directly.

Women respond to it indirectly and with more stealth.

Men should understand this.

Women have no trouble in seeing and accepting the reality that men are different and they operate differently…which brings further credence to what we teach in pickup; which is that girls are way smarter and socially savvier than boys.

Men on the other hand, we have major difficulties in seeing that women are different and that they operate differently than we men do.

Ok, so let me backtrack a bit to “insinuation and suggestion/hinting”.

As I advised you earlier: when it comes to girls whom you haven’t yet slept with, you must operate with them through insinuations whenever trying to hook up.

Let’s focus on the screenshot again:


I hate friggin men…Y’all need to pay attention to your damn woman and leave me to hell alone shit…seems like y’all listen too much Kranium [a Reggae music artist] chupz [sucking teeth]. Don’t tell me shit about nobody will know caz I’m not interested

What would I, Socialkenny, have done differently in order to hook up with this chick…presuming we both have someone in our life [which I do]?

Well, the obvious point of contention for this girl is the line of “nobody will know”.

I’ve already explained to you why and how such a line is stupid, amateurish and lame…though it is the correct idea in nature nevertheless [sounds contradictive…I know].

You definitely want to communicate to the girl that “no one will find out if we hook up”.

However, you don’t fucking verbalize it directly like an idiot!

You hint at it!

You hint at the fact that “no one will find out if we hook up”.

How do you do this by not saying it directly but by hinting?

Through a little bullshit story, you let the girl know how much of a confidential dude you are.

Make up a story about how some crazy chick tried to blackmail you for money after y’all had hooked up. She threatened to tell your girlfriend about the cheating if you didn’t cough up $1000 in 3 days. Long story short: it led you to having trust issues with women from thenceforth.

With such snippets/stories that you can share, you won’t ever have to verbalize to any girl that she can trust you.

If it has to come to the point where you’re telling the girl that “nobody will know if we hook up”, it means she already doesn’t trust you.

Hence, you want to get this out of the way before even suggesting to hook up.

If you want to convince the girl that “nobody will know”, you firstly and solely convince her that you’re a trustworthy and confidential guy through a statement/story…whether in person or through text.

Hence, if I meet a new girl today and want to hook up with her by tomorrow, I would be saying things to her such as:

“I hate girls who can’t keep their mouths shut about hooking up”

“It sucks when girls put their business out for all to hear and see”

“I hate people who kiss and tell”

“Are you a girl who I can trust”?

I would also pepper in there the blackmail story just to build a more solid theme.

Do you get the point?

Before you even get to the stage of trying to take a girl to bed, you should have already been pumping into her head similar statements to the examples I cited above.

Such statements/comments/lines will fester in the back of the girl’s subconscious mind until the time/day comes to hook up.

She won’t ever have to question whether you’re a chatterbox or someone she can entrust with keeping her sexual escapades a secret.

She will have recollected the texts you sent her about hating girls who talk about the guys they hook up with. Or the time some crazy chick tried to blackmail you after hooking up.

That is how I tackle beforehand, any possible objection to hooking up with a new girl based on the question of trust and confidentiality.

If you have to directly tell a girl that no one will find out that y’all had hooked up, it means:

1.) She doesn’t trust you

2.) She won’t ever hook up with you…until trust have been built…which most guys aren’t able to build

Therefore, always remember that women are like ninjas. And you as the guy should operate likewise in getting your point across in relation to hooking up for the 1st time with a specific gal.

Also bear in mind that you should handle the objections ahead of time, before they even surface [trust issues and so forth] through little statements which show that you’re a guy she can hook up with, without trepidation of being scandalized, defamed, shamed and talked about around town as a wanton slut.

At the end of the day, if a girl who seemingly likes you, elects to not sleep with you, it is likely your fault…the guy’s fault.

On a further yet related note, another reason why a girl would get upset in such a scenario [overtly selling to her the idea of sneaking around], is the simple implication that hooking up is something wrong and should be kept on the down low.

Once again, saying to a girl, “no one will find out if we hook up”, such a statement implies that you two “hooking up”, is essentially wrong.

Do you see that?

When trying to hook up with a girl whom you haven’t yet slept with, you should NOT come off as though “hooking up” is something that should be done covertly and in secrecy.

Now, I know that this sounds very contradicting to you. On 1 hand: I’m telling you that women want confidentiality. On the other hand: I’m telling you that the guy shouldn’t make hooking up seems confidential and secretive.

However, women aren’t interpreting things through the same lens as men are…once again.

On 1 hand: the girl does want to know that you’re a confidential guy who won’t spill the beans.

In the same breath, she needs you to appear as though you’re not actively hiding and concealing what is to take place.

This again all comes down to insinuations and subtle suggestions.

You want to insinuate that no one will find out. And you also want to simultaneously insinuate that hooking up isn’t some nasty, dirty and divisive act.

As someone who has a girlfriend [myself] yet often sleeps with other chicks, I’m routinely faced with situations of congruence-testing where girls would go:

“But you have a girlfriend already. Why would you want to hook up with me”?

The worst possible way to handle this question [bearing in mind everything I touched on previously], is for me to say:

“But my girlfriend won’t find out. No one will know because I’m a confidential guy”.

“BOOM”! 😯

Game fucking over!

From that simple retort (which is similar to the screenshot), hooking up would’ve been seen as something shady and wrong, indicative of the fact that I had to voice that “my girlfriend won’t find out”.

What I regularly do/say instead, is to downplay the significance of my relationship and to make cheating seem fair-seeming. 😈 😈

Hence, if and when a girl says to me (which is almost inevitable):

“But you have a girlfriend already. Why would you want to sleep around or sleep with me”?

I respond with:

“My relationship isn’t prison. When I got into it, I didn’t sign a contract to do away with all freedoms. My girlfriend understands the type of guy I am”.

That’s it!

I didn’t foolishly say to her that “my girlfriend won’t know, so we should hook up anyways”.

Neither did I frame the idea of me cheating with her to be something nefarious, bad, wrong and unethical.

My answer in retort, sets the frame/position of me sleeping with her as something that is okay, expected, accepted, and doesn’t require me to hide and play cat-and-mouse games…because after all; I’m a man in control.

When you lay out things in that way, the girl whom you’re trying to fuck behind your girlfriend’s back, won’t see hooking up with you in a negative light.

However, the moment you come off as though you’re concealing something from someone else [i.e. your girlfriend/wife], the girl you’re trying to hook up with, will have felt offended, slutty and used.

Hence, the female friend of mines who had posted the status earlier today [Friday], she got pissed at guys for those 2 reasons:

1.) They made hooking up seem evil, wrong and an act of cheating

2.) They indicated a lack of trust in the process by neglecting to ensure that the girl trusts them


I hate friggin men…Y’all need to pay attention to your damn woman and leave me to hell alone shit…seems like y’all listen too much Kranium [a Reggae music artist] chupz [sucking teeth]. Don’t tell me shit about nobody will know caz I’m not interested

Most men who have significant others yet are looking to creep around and hook up, go about it wrong by setting the theme as though they’re doing something wrong.

The girl is left no choice but to reject your advances.

With guys who are single and looking to hook up, they too go about it wrong by making “hookup” too obvious of a goal…and by neglecting to build trust without actually saying that they can be trusted.

It is all in the way you handle things as a man. If you approach her in a scary and cowardly way; she will react towards you with disdain and scorn…hence the screenshot in question.

Once guys begin to realize how women operate, hopefully they’ll desist from idiotic blunders such as posting compliments on girl’s Facebook photos, begging for dates and trying to VERBALLY convince a girl to hook up under the guise that “nobody will know…it’s our little secret”.

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