There is 1 thing that separates your stereotypical player from a pick-up practitioner.
Relationship Management in conjunction with Management of Relationships.
“Relation Management” basically deals with managing a monogamous relationship.
“Management of Relationships [plural]”, deals with managing more than 1 relationship, or dealing with numerous girls in a casual sense and not exactly nor exclusively tied to any specific girl.
Your average player handles these separate yet equal entities differently than the PUA.
The stereotypical player has to lie in order to cover his tracks.
Whether he truly has to lie or not is another story. But he always chooses to lie about other girls he’s seeing and screwing.
The PUA on the other hand, does NOT lie to women about other girls he’s seeing/screwing.
Get the stark difference?
The PUA is encouraged through seduction dogma, to never lie to women about having other women in his life.
The player, having no proverbial guidelines, often finds himself in precarious entanglements where he’s forced to have to cover his tracks here, and cover another 1 there.
Since there’s no quasi-authority on player-dom, the stereotypical player is left to fend for himself while trying to freestyle his way to managing his relationships.
Without guidelines: he decides to lie to the women he’s seeing, under the impression that he has to play these deceptive games in order to live a life of a womanizer.
Moreover, the average player just doesn’t understand female psychology [because he never bothered to study it], hence he’s robbed of the knowledge of what women respond to and why they respond to certain things in a particular manner.
As a PUA or mere practitioner, we were taught to never lie to our girlfriends about the other possible girlfriend(s).
Not because we have a moral qualm with lying to women. But simply because we DON’T need to lie to women about our lifestyle.
You see, the stereotypical player’s aim and game is to conceal his lifestyle from women.
Hence, he will rarely ever admit to women that he’s a player.
He’s all about concealment and secrecy in what he does.
This is a stark contrast to what a PUA does and how a PUA is taught to operate.
We are uber-fucking transparent with women about our playerish lifestyle!
We in the pickup and seduction arts, do NOT play this concealment and hiding game!
Hence, we are the true players. 😉
A PUA doesn’t necessarily have to hide his cellphone, nor put it on silent mode whenever he’s around 1 of the girls he’s seeing semi-exclusively.
I mean, out of civility and respect, I don’t flaunt other women in my girlfriend’s face, neither do I brag to her about being a PUA.
That is just juvenile to say the least.
As one becomes advanced in this field, he learns humility and maturity and how to not come off as a total-unscrupulous asshole.
You can have numerous women in your life and not have to hide it from neither girl.
Your stereotypical player hides what he’s about because he isn’t sure if it’d work.
He’s not quite sure how a girl will take to the idea of he being with other chicks, so he constantly lies, and continues to live a lie, in hopes of getting away with serial cheating.
A seasoned pick-up artist doesn’t have to subject himself to such child’s play.
His attitude and approach says:
“Take it or leave it! But I am who I am…at least for the time being…which is someone who enjoys meeting and seeing multiple women at the same time”.
Phrase it whichever way you like. But the PUA’s style is all about being transparent to the women who are in his life and to the new girls whom he will have likely met thereafter.
When a PUA meets a new girl, she will harbor no doubts as to his lifestyle, what he wants and how he expects to be received.
With the player on the other hand, he operates differently even in this case.
Whenever a player is called out on being a player: his initial-rebuttal tactic is to vehemently deny being a player.
He misleads the girl into believing that he’s not the player type, and that he’s very much open to a monogamous-exclusive relationship…though he truly isn’t but is only looking to get laid.
Sure a PUA only wants to get laid too [initially]. But he puts that on the table from the gate.
To be fair to the player, he isn’t operating the way he does mal-heatedly. He simply doesn’t understand women.
Therefore, he [the stereotypical player] fills the girl’s head with all sorts of empty promises of exclusivity which he never intends to keep.
Subsequently, the girl ends up getting hurt upon discovering that her boyfriend is secretly sleeping with another chick while simultaneously carrying a double life imbued in deception.
He’s now left to peddle a bunch of lies and weave elaborate stories in order to cover his ass.
That is the player for you.
He lives a lie.
In the end, he winds up with no girl due to his ill-fated strategy of trying to juggle numerous girls and numerous relationships while misleading each party involved.
He will then do it again 8 months down the line with a new set of girls, and history will repeat itself with the player being screwed in the end as always, left without a girl, sex-less and desperate to find the next girl in whom to beguile again with promises of monogamy.
Again: the PUA is above such kindergarten tactics.
When a seasoned PUA meets a new girl and they happen to hit it off, he ensures that she CLEARLY knows that he isn’t for monogamy nor a relationship of any sort…unless it’s an MLTR [Multiple-Long Term Relationship] where he’s allowed to have other girlfriends.
Therefore, no one gets hurt.
If someone does get hurt (which is always likely), it isn’t the fault of the PUA. But the girl bears the brunt of the responsibility for her own pain…notwithstanding that she wasn’t at all misled, beguiled nor sold a dream.
Hence, the PUA emerges out of the fray with his morality and dignity intact, knowing that he never lied to anyone, but was always transparent about his intentions, expectations and lifestyle of a player.
The player always finds himself deep in dog shit, having to have to troubleshoot unnecessary drama and lies which he himself fostered.
In conclusion- so, what is the difference between your stereotypical player and the pick-up practitioner?
The player puts himself in a position where he must hide, cheat and lie to cover his tracks.
The PUA does the total opposite and puts himself in a position where he doesn’t have to hide, cheat nor cover any tracks whatsoever.
When I first met my girlfriend of 6 years now, I was already well established as a pick-up artist, racking up astronomical-lay numbers in 2009, sleeping with an average of 3 new girls per week during 1 of my many hot streaks of 2009.
I never hid this lifestyle from my girlfriend when we first met.
I explicitly said to her that I’m on a quest to sleep with as much women as humanly possible…even if I have to die swimming inside of pussy.
Now, I’m not saying that we don’t have our differences now and then about my lifestyle. But those differences are quickly quieted with a reminder that she had met me as a PUA, and she knew the type of guy she was getting involved with.
She clearly understood my shtick and what I was about.
I never misled her into believing I was some pretender guy who wields big promises of exclusivity just to get laid as most player types do.
I never told her I was going to be a faithful boyfriend. In fact, I told her I can’t promise to be faithful.
All in all, guys need to realize that they don’t ever have to lie to women they meet about other women they have…and their lifestyle.
Once you’re upfront with a chick from the get-go, chances are, if she likes you anyway, she will accept your frame/position and go along with whatever it is you’ve laid out.
Therefore, lying, as the stereotypical player does, is totally uncalled for and it is an amateurish style of game when you weigh the 2 sorts of players: the PUA and the everyday player.
I leave you with a video from my friend, and fellow pick-up coach, Justin Wayne, also out of NYC.
He touched on the very same thing as to how and why he was able to get away with dating numerous women at the same time.