“Your frame is everything”!
A common question I get asked by students of mines, and even followers of my blog and pick-up method:
“Kenny, what goes through your mind when you spot a girl you want to talk to”?
in other words:
“What are you thinking, and how do you work yourself up to it”?
The answer is: “Absolutely nothing goes through my head and I don’t need to work myself up to the task”.
Ok, well sure there are thoughts flying through my head whenever I spot a hot.
However, those aren’t thoughts of impediment. Instead, I say to myself:
“Damn she has some nice tits”!
Then I proceed to open and make something happen.
If I fail; I fail [no such thing as failure]!
If I get the girl; no big deal either way.
That is the frame you want to operate from.
I never talk myself out of stepping to a random girl.
If you’re new to this, having to work up a sweat and get all inside of your head with random thoughts, is a normal part of the process of meeting new people.
As I say to all of my pupils: “I don’t expect you to be invincible overnight! I don’t expect you to not be all nervous and anxious”!
Just as when I first started out in pickup, I used to shit bricks at the mere thought of having to approach a girl whom I didn’t know very well, let alone a total stranger. 😯
Every conceivable-negative thought and question was racing through my head at lightning speeds:
“What if she rejects me”?
“What if other people see her reject me”?
“What if that’s her boyfriend”?
“Am I looking my best”?
“She’s too hot for a guy like me”
“She probably dates guys who are somebody”
“Damn I’m nervous”!
By this time, the girl would’ve already been half away down the bloc while I beat myself up for allowing her to pass without saying a word. 😦
I expect you to go through this also.
Therefore, there’s no reason to feel like a grand failure who’d inherited some sort of curse above all other men.
As you advance though, everything becomes second nature and automated just as everything else in life.
Getting good with meeting women is an art.
Most of us are piss poor at it while few are naturally gifted…while an even smaller fraction had to learn it [such as myself].
All in all, having thoughts of doubts floating through your head as you spot a girl who gets you psychologically excited, is a natural inclination that you should try to subdue over time.
Why should you subdue this natural tendency to get excited at seeing the opposite sex?
Simply because your physiological and psychological excitement will cripple you in the process.
When it comes to meeting new girls, you cannot behave as though you’re a kid who’s been given a brand-new toy for Christmas.
You have to control your excitement or that excitement will control you…and scare women off.
Be as it may, to sum everything up, no I do not get nervous nor exited whenever I spot a hot tail that gets my adrenaline flowing.
Either of those polar-opposite emotions [nervousness and excitement] will cripple you when faced with a girl who’s a stranger.
When I approach a stranger, I have neutral emotions, though I may very well be sexual aroused by the girl.
It is the psychological fortitude to subdue, control and direct your emotions, that will separate yourself from the pack of overly desperate men who allow their emotional states to carry them away, hence turning women off upon the approach.
Now, the following declaration will strike you as contradictive- but I’ll explain with an analogy.
As a master seducer, as most advanced PUA’s are, we can afford to approach random women from any mental state that we please.
We can approach super excitedly, calmly, nervously, weirdly, sentimentally…whatever!
The perfect analogy for this is a master-professional boxer in contrast to the novice.
A master boxer in the ring, can afford to throw punches from any angles, drop his guards and not get hit, counter punches without flinching and so on.
An amateur boxer however, cannot really afford to freestyle, drop his guards carelessly and throw punches from any angle.
He will get countered to death and eventually stopped!
The master boxer can and will get away with doing the unorthodox and the ill-advised maneuvers.
Likewise in pickup/seduction and meeting new women: a master at the game can and will often get away with what may seem to be mistakes which he was advised to not commit in his earlier development.
Hence, you’re likely to come across pickup videos where the advanced guy is either super chilled and subdued or super excited, yet he doesn’t come off as a big turnoff.
A great example of this is the “Sexualized State”.
Guys like Steve Jabba teaches that you should approach women in a horny state, and project this sexualized vibe upon her.
As someone who isn’t adept in approaching women, doing so by projecting “horny” upon her, will come off as super creepy.
That is another so-called no-no that a master seducer can afford to get away with: approaching strangers by working himself up to a sexualized frenzy.
I guess what I’m saying here is that as you get better, you’ll get away with a lot more, and you’ll also be able to approach women without having to think, speculate, strategize or second-guess the approach.
You may not be at that point yet. But you will get there as long as you stick to it.
In the meantime, you can download a copy of my free e-book, which is a simple 7-step guide on how to become a social person [with women].