“It’s not about the move but the intent”!
A while back, I used to pounce upon myself whenever I wasn’t able to successfully kiss a girl without her pulling away or giving some sort of objection to the move.
Through observation over time as I’d gotten more advanced in the field, I come to the realization that- even if the move fails on the surface- the underlying frame will have been established, that you’re the type of guy who is willing to take chances, risks and be proactive.
That is all you should actually look to communicate when trying to pull off a move…whatever that move is.
I was exposed to this very realization the other night while chatting up an 18 year old on the roadside.
During our random conversation, I playfully negged her about something, then within 1 move, I tried to hug her as if to say that I was sorry for saying what I said.
As expected, she in turn rejected my attempted hug by playfully blocking my arm.
Years ago, I was inclined to seeing such rejection to my move as a bad thing.
I wanted the move to work so badly, that if it didn’t, I instantly felt as though the girl hated me, wasn’t attracted to me and that my opportunity slipped away within a twinkling of an eye.
This was in fact far from the truth.
There are times that you will indeed get the hug, kiss, hand-hold, etc. But a substantial amount of the time, you won’t be successful in your attempts…but you don’t have to be…and that is what I’m sharing with you guys here.
Personally, my KINO attempts [attempts to hug, hold hands and kiss the girl], are rejected and blocked perhaps 65% of the time [it may even exceed that on a bad week].
This should be expected!
I can already hear guys saying, “But that shouldn’t be! Master seducers shouldn’t get rejected”!
Contrary to popular belief, the better you become at this, the more objections you will have faced.
I’ve been learning this dichotomy, more so over the past 3 years, where my pick-up skills have become super advanced.
It was difficult for me to rationalize this.
“Why am I facing resistance as I get better? Am I actually getting better, or am i regressing without seeing it”?
However, the perfect analogy I draw when it comes to this anomaly, is the tame lion vs the wild lion.
A tame lion at the zoo [in this case- a Beta-Male], is likely to get petted and fed more than a wild lion on the prairie [in this case- an Alpha-Male].
The wild lion who was raised up in the jungle, is indeed more advanced, knowledgeable of the wild, adroit and adept in what it takes to survive in the wild.
The tame lion at the zoo, isn’t as adept to jungle living, since it was sheltered throughout its life with all the amenities of modernism.
The wild lion will undoubtedly face more resistance from humans and preys.
The tame lion, will face less resistance from humans and its preys.
However, the wild lion, being more advanced and adept at hunting and catching its prey, will undoubtedly catch more and eat more.
The tame zoo lion, being let loose in the jungle, will undoubtedly get more opportunities to catch and eat its prey [since he isn’t as rugged], but he will catch way less, and subsequently eat less.
In the male-female dynamics, a guy who approaches more girls, will get rejected more and face more objections and obstacles.
However, objections don’t mean failure at all. And in the same token, the one who gets rejected more will get laid more.
Therefore, if thinking about kissing the girl and you do make the attempt but was shut down: it doesn’t fucking spell game over!
What actually counts, is your attempt and willingness to actually attempt such a ballsy move.
Moreover, if you do get the kiss, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re any closer to getting the girl…or the poon.
Either way, it is your attempt that makes the girl flush and blush.
Making a ballsy gesture and move on a girl, will make her blush.
That is what you want to occur.
Since most guys are NOT ballsy and never take chances, that means there are tons of girls out there who don’t know what it feels like to have a man whom she’d just met, try something gutsy.
Hence, she will either be taken aback or frozen still…which are both good reactions as a result of your bold move.
Overall, what you’re aiming to communicate to the girl by attempting something romantic, sexual or bold, isn’t how suave you are, but that you’re the kind of guy who will go for it.
How successful or shitty you are whenever you do go for it: doesn’t fucking matter!
You gain grounds in the attempt/intent and not on the basis of whether you’d pulled off the move flawlessly or had bombed.
Therefore, I want you to bear that in mind the next time you’re chatting with a new girl whom you’re trying to bed.
Stop putting so much emphasis on success!
Stop draining yourself mentally by working yourself up to the idea and task of going for the kiss, going for the hug, going for the hand hold or anything else which is classified as KINO.
Many years ago in pickup, attempting a “Move” was the most nerve-wrecking aspect of trying to seduce a girl.
Little did we know back then, if we only took the emphasis off of trying to ‘Perfect’ the move, then going for it, would be easy-breezy as taking a piss.
Had someone advanced knew and told us that it wasn’t about perfection and success in the move, we students of the game would’ve excelled at lightning speed during those years.
I’m probably the first pick-up instructor from whom you’ve ever heard this revelation, that you shouldn’t focus on perfecting the move, but rather just to execute the move without a care in how it comes off.