Ah- those were the days man.
Reflecting on the years when merely contemplating to get a girl’s phone number was a gut-wrenching task that required a contingency plan, a week’s worth of preparation, a witty-number close routine and encouragement from the bros on PUA forums.
Fast forward many years- getting hot girls’ phone # is as easy as channel surfing is to a couch-potato- no big fucking deal whatsoever!
In all reality though, securing the phone # is never the big deal.
It’s getting the girl on the phone and to actually commit to meeting up, is the challenging part.
Just as getting a girl back to your place isn’t that great of a deal [easy for me to say- I guess].
It’s getting her panties off which requires the most effort, tact, planning and skill.
Firstly, I want to say that a phone number means Jack Shit to a woman.
Yet, it means a big deal.
Confused as yet?
This’ just 1 of those many contradictions you’ll typically encounter whenever probing into the female psyche and pathology.
On 1 hand: a girl will willingly couch up her phone # to a homeless guy if he only asks [it couldn’t get any simpler].
On the other hand, depended on which side of the bed she woke from; she will lie and fabricate the most elaborate stories as to why she can’t give out her phone number…or why she doesn’t have a phone currently.
How do you discern which girl you’re actually dealing with?
I’ll tackle this in a subsequent post since it’s deserving of an exclusive article to really break it down.
For now though, let’s get into phone numbers and Facebook contact exchange and which is the most feasible…and why.
Should you go for her phone # or Facebook info (her name) in order to friend-request her?
I call this “gauging the hot-meter”, where you have to gauge how warm and receptive the vibe is, to discern which route to take to establish communication.
This is 1 exception where you shouldn’t really shoot high then work your way down the ladder.
What I mean is, if you were to at the end of a conversation, try to get the girl’s phone number [aiming high] and she puts up real resistance or simply says, “I can’t give it to you”.
To then work your way down the proverbial ladder by opting for her Facebook instead, it would’ve DLV’d you.
In other words, you would’ve appeared to be too desperate and over eager to get her information.
Even if she does give you her Facebook details after refusing to give you her phone number, the chances of actually getting to chat with her online (Facebook) would’ve been slim as tinfoil as she would’ve already relegated you to the “desperate” basket.
On the bright side, if she does agree to give her Facebook, you can always go for her phone number instead:
“Hey, I wanna add you on Facebook and when I get the time, I’ll shoot you a message and we can grab a juice some time. Matter of fact- screw Facebook- gimme your phone number instead…since girls don’t reply to their Facebook messages”.
Hence, you can aim low [Facebook], and if she accepts, you can then go high [phone #].
However, you cannot do the opposite by going for her phone # and if she refuses, you get her Facebook instead [sure you can do it but you’ll look too desperate].
She will give it to you most likely [her Facebook]. But she won’t engage you at all…or just to be cordial and friendly while brushing you off in the same token.
Ok, so the hidden beauty in going for her Facebook, in my opinion and from experience, is that it’s so impersonal [Facebook], that she almost cannot refuse the proposal.
I’ve never had a girl refuse to add me on Facebook or refuse to give me her Facebook info in order to add her up.
The underlying reason as to why girls will cough up their Facebook so readily, is simply because of the impersonal nature of it all.
This in and of itself is a HUGE fucking contradiction!
A girl’s Facebook is the doorway to her personal life.
It’s like getting a free pass into her disheveled bedroom which she hadn’t cleaned in months.
Therefore, and in essence, Facebook is an ULTRA-personal domain [LOGICALLY]…but it isn’t treated as such by women.
It’s treated as an impersonal entity since after all- Facebook is a public site.
It’s for this reason why she’ll be way more receptive to giving you her Facebook name, since after all- it’s public information which can be accessed by anyone…unless the account is hidden.
When it comes to her phone number, you’re talking about another level here where privacy rules.
Her telephone number is NOT public information, therefore she should guard it with some level of foresight.
I said “SHOULD”! ;(
Not to bombard you with the obvious, but a phone number operates very differently than a Facebook communique.
You can blow up her Facebook inbox to infinity; she is still at liberty to simply ignore your messages while allowing them to pile up to the sky.
Hence, there is less risk in giving you her Facebook if it turns out that you’re a 1st-rate stalker and a lunatic.
She can block you, report you account, etc, etc, etc.
Now, with her phone number; shit isn’t that easy to troubleshoot.
Giving her phone number to the wrong dude, could realistically result in she having to change her phone number entirely…which means her previous contacts won’t be able to reach her at the usual number.
That is a huge risk to take just for 1 guy whom she doesn’t know!
She cannot simply ignore her phone calls as she ignores her Facebook messages.
If it turns out that the guy whom she’d given her # to, is a needy-stalkerish troll, you’re talking about phone calls at 4 AM, her phone being blown up while she’s in a meeting, sleepless nights and so forth.
She cannot simply block you from calling her phone.
Even if she does block incoming calls from your phone number, you can always call her from another SIM, LAN line or borrow someone else’s mobile.
With that being said, coupled with the realities on the ground, a girl will naturally be more reluctant to cough up her digits as the risks would’ve been greater for her.
It’s for this reason why it is a much safer route to get her Facebook instead- at first- then eventually get her phone number (through Facebook) as you would’ve chit-chatted at some point.
Her Facebook isn’t an end but a mean to an end.
You’re merely getting her Facebook in order to get her phone number after communicating to her (through Facebook) that you’re someone whom she can entrust with her personal-contact info, i.e. phone number.
The girl just wants to see that you aren’t some loony-toon character who’s gonna ring her phone 20 times a day or send her dozens of cheesy messages about how much you like her.
This is where good text-game comes in…which you can learn here:
Once again guys: if you aren’t sure that the girl whom you’re chatting up in person will give you her phone number, opt for her Facebook details instead.
From there, you create a good impression through Facebook chat, then you get her phone number once she realizes that you are safe, cool, fun, funny and non-needy.
There’s no chance in hell that she will refuse to give you her phone # once you’re able to have a semi-decent chat over Facebook.
Only how this will fail, is if you screw up the 1st. impression through social media text game.
To backtrack a bit- by all means- go for her phone number if you sense that the vibe is ON, warm or hot!
If it’s cold; then go for the Facebook!
The worst mistake I see guys make constantly, is to go for the girl’s phone # at the absolute wrong time!
I mean, this infraction occurs so often that it’s still cringe-worthy just to watch it go down.
The worst possible moment to try to get a girl’s phone number is when the vibe is lukewarm, cold or frigid!
Ironically, this is the moment when most guys go for it as they sense that the girl is slipping away and it’s either now or never!!!
When dealing with a lukewarm or cold situation, you either go for her Facebook or try to heat the vibe up where the girl will have become more open to giving her number.
This is where the art of charm and persuasion comes in.
The ability to turn a cold situation hot.
You then opt to go for her number if and when the vibe/girl becomes warm, hot or flaming hot!
For those who are a bit slower to catching on: by “hot”, I am NOT referring to the girl’s sexual temperature.
I’m talking about good conversation.
Always go for the phone number on a high note in conversation opposed to a low note when things are stalling and the vibe gets cold(er) and boring.
Don’t wait until you run out of things to say and the situation gets awkward to then say, “By the way…can I get your number”?
Also, it makes no sense to go for the Facebook if the girl is totally into you and is displaying massive signs of interest in you.
In a nutshell: if you aren’t getting great responses from the girl- go for the Facebook close.
If you are getting great responses via good conversation; go for the phone number.
To add an extra caveat here: if the girl is giving great responses and the vibe is warm to hot- don’t even go the phone number (as yet), but an instant-date.