Don’t Make Sex A Big Deal Or You’ll Scare Her Off: Fuck-Buddy Post-Sex Management 101


We men have a tendency to get carried away by pussy.

I am no more immune to the power of pussy than the next man.

I too have to keep myself in check when it comes to fuck-buddies, booty-calls and friends with benefits type of dealings.

Just as treatment for any psychological malady; firstly recognizing to yourself that you have a problem, is the 1st step towards handing that shit.

Now, I’m not exactly talking about pussy addiction here.

That’s for another post.

What I’m speaking about here is the excitement and high we men get after conquering a girl’s vagina.

This is less so the case with men who are used to getting laid.

For the Average Joe Blow however, who isn’t as fortunate to visit poon-town as often, whenever he lucks up and gets to sleep with a real woman for a change- this rare occasion- 9 in 10 times, will cajole him into the pedestalization of vagina (putting it on a pedestal).

With this, he gets carried away, over exuberant and besides himself.

On the surface- this psychological occurrence doesn’t seem that egregious.

On a sub-superficial level however, getting carried away over women and pussy, will lead to a situation where the guy actually inadvertently chases the girl away after managing to have sex with her.

Hence, post-sex management skill is crucial here!

It basically boils down to managing expectations and yourself.

The “kid in the candy store” effect is what I’m actually angling at.

Most men experience this giddy sensation after realizing that some chick had actually allowed them to penetrate her vagina without having to barter it with money.

Thus, we easily lose our composure and succumb to the power of pussy and the promise of more pussy in the near future if a fuck-buddy relationship happens to materialize.

It’s for this reason why men are in the habit of wanting to “lock her down” after managing to sleep with her for the 1st time.

In Pickup, it often happens where a newbie student hits the field for the first few times, manages to have sex with a girl, then lose control of himself afterwards.

Rather he continues to play the field with other women in order to garner further experience and grow in that department, he instead allows himself to be sucked into “Pussy Power”- and before you know it- this girl becomes his girlfriend in no time and he subsequently drops out of Pickup altogether.

This is 1 of the greatest dilemmas which plagues newbies in the game.

He learns about pickup or takes a bootcamp in January.

By March, he plays the game and finally manages to meet a stunner off of cold approach and bangs her.

By March’s end, with only 3 month and change in the game; he drops out of pickup in order to pursue a relationship with this new girl whom he knows nothing about.

The root cause and propellant here, are mismanagement of expectations and the guy’s inability to manage himself since he has minimal experience with women and sex.

Lacking this experience, he begins to further dig a ditch for himself by making a big deal out of sex with this (new) girl.

He then gets dumped by the time May comes around and the decline continues as he’s left to wallow in the pit of misogynous depression.

It is very difficult to control oneself after coming from a state of scarcity to gracing the halls of abundance for the 1st time in one’s life.

Nevertheless, self-control is critical and must be observed in order to avoid chasing girls away whom you’d slept with.

Even years deep into my pickup career, I was still making the crucial mistake of getting too excited too fast after sex. So much so to the point that I was chasing away 9 in 10 girls whom I’d managed to full close.

I just couldn’t understand why this was happening to me!!! 😯

I would sleep with a girl twice, then she would cut me off eventually without explanation.

Was the sex that fucking bad!?

I asked myself.

Little did I know; it wasn’t the sex, but my poor post-sex management skills and inability to contain myself and to remain “Alpha” after tapping into a particular girl once or twice.

In effect, I was chasing girls away, not due to my poor-sexual abilities, but mismanagement of myself and expectations.

To illustrate a point:

After having sex with a girl for the 1st time (or perhaps 2nd), later on that day or night for instance, Do NOT send her text messages about how good the sex was!

Do NOT worship the pussy nor the sexual encounter in any way, shape or form!

Do NOT cuddle with her in bed afterwards while saying stuff like:

“This was the best sex ever”!

“Your pussy’s so tight I almost came in a heartbeat”!

Just as importantly, Do NOT contact her virtually begging to hook up a following time!!!

This is very unattractive and sends women running for the hills!

You have to be as nonchalant and James Bond cool as possible after having sex with a girl!

The moment you allow yourself to get carried away by any 1 vagina, will be the end of your little-fornication session with this particular girl.

As a guy, and since we operate on a logical and rational plane (unlike women), it makes all the sense in the world to cherish a special moment of copulation that we shared with another human being by expressing to her (verbally) that we appreciate her and the moment.

This is highly rational and should be acceptable!

In the real world however, where women process things and information through their irrational processors, a guy expressing his gratitude over a special moment (i.e. sex), will actually be perceived as a sign of weakness in the man opposed to gratitude…which is actually what the guy’s aiming to communicate (gratitude).

Therefore, women see things and process things differently than men do…TOTALLY different!

Saying to a girl: “I like having sex with you”, has the likelihood to be perceived by the girl, that you’re actually saying that she’s a slut. When in all reality, you truly enjoyed having sex with her, and felt compelled to communicate this out of principle.

Just as crazy…or important, saying to a girl whom you’d had sex with, “I really like you a lot and want to see how far this can go”, has the real potential to be processed by the girl’s irrational mind to mean that you’re desperate, lonely and are rushing things…which might be true in most cases.

This is why after managing to sleep with a girl, it’s best to control your shit as much as possibly!

As a man, do NOT view things from a man’s rational point of view whenever dealing with the opposite sex.

Bear in mind that the woman’s brain will almost always seek to render your positive statements in the negative or to the contrary.

Hence, your kind words are likely to be misinterpreted by her mental processor.

This is why I caution you to refrain from complimenting a hot girl on her hotness and outer beauty.

Your words of fondness will likely be misconstrued as weakness, Beta, sucking-up and a turnoff.

After sex, or when dealing with a fuck-buddy type of situation, Aim to keep your cool and composure: psychologically and physiologically.

You want to sub-communicate through your words and actions that sex is NOT a fucking big deal for you!

It’s just another day at the office!

If you’re an AFC [average guy] reading this right now, I can imagine how far your jaw has dropped from the revelation that sex shouldn’t be a big deal and you are much better off communicating a vibe of aloofness and nonchalance about further sexual encounters with the girl.

Realistically speaking, sex should cause a spike of excitement and joy within you!

This does, and will occur!

Your job is just to manage it, keep it in check [yourself and your excitement] and to avoid talking about hooking up with her again…unless she brings it up.

When trying to hook up another time with a girl whom you’d already shagged, the worst way to go about it is to try to sell the idea to her through talk of sex.

You’re re-selling something that she’s already bought from you…which is ass-backwards in theory.

This will only make her feel somewhat slutty and as though her only worth is to be fucked into absentia.

A booty-call should be set up with coolness, ease and self-control by NOT talking about sex at all, rather something totally unrelated.

Instead of saying to her:

“Come over and let’s fuck”!

It’d be wise to instead say:

“Come over and let’s watch a movie”!

Instinctively, the girl knows what the fuck you mean by “watch a movie”!

She isn’t that stupid!

She knows it’s about hooking up!

By saying that to her (“come over and watch a movie”), it sub-communicates few things:

   * You’re NOT desperate

   * You’re confident about hooking up

   * You have social intelligence

   * You understand women

   * You have abundance and are used to being in the company of other women

Those bullet points are the mindset in which you want to communicate.

Not because you’d fucked the girl means you’re allowed free reign to do and say whatever you like.

Getting a girl, or getting to sleep with a girl, isn’t the real problem in the grand scheme of things.

It’s getting her to stick around for at least few weeks.

That is the true challenge and usually where most stumble and fumble the ball.

The other day while interacting with a former fuck-buddy, I found myself almost wanting to tell her how much I enjoyed her pussy and that we should start hooking up again based on that premise.

Wisely though, I was forced to restrain my fingers from typing those words and sending off that text message.

From my experience, and I don’t need anyone to confirm or deny this, doing so would have chased the girl away 9 in 10 times. And re-hooking up will have become next to impossible with the girl whom I send that text to.

Instead, I played it cool, kept my lust in check, downplayed sex with her as if it wasn’t even a forethought, and we eventually hooked up again.

If you want a girl to stick around for any time, learn to downplay sex and hooking up.

If you want to chase her away; allow your lust to get the best of you by communicating how thirsty you are.

10 thoughts on “Don’t Make Sex A Big Deal Or You’ll Scare Her Off: Fuck-Buddy Post-Sex Management 101

Add yours

  1. Hhaaaa whooooa dude good thing i didnt’t do those beta moves.

    I’m glad I read this shit NOW though.

    I got laid recently and the chic said it was good and shit etc. She was epecting me not to text her back and stuff.

    And when I did it was like 2 words of an inside ‘joke’. But over the following days, I never did the dumb shit THANK god.

    Even after she flaked for a day2, although i WANTED to show how pissed i was. I absorbed the lesson, and later after a dew texts SHE was like ‘so when am I going to see you?’.

    Set a meetup. But, I’m glad I took notes here though for post sex convo and framing subsequent meetups.

    Good stuff Kenny

    Like

  2. So true bruh! Unbeknownst to me back then a chick I smashed that I worked with I played it cool like you said, and she would come to me and literally say “anytime you want this, you can have it !” And even then I would have to hold myself back from going at it too much to not wear out the novelty for her

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think this is probably the best article on the web about this. I just hooked up with this girl that I had seen around campus for a few years. I had always wanted to talk to her but she always had a bf.
    Anyways miraculously now I’m in the position where she wants to be hookup buddies. And I apparently always did a lot of beta shit in the past… so wanted to do this one right and keep her around. In short I was going to text her in the morning how great it was and about being happy about it. Won’t do that.
    Wish i read it earlier though for the first half. After it I was giving her body a lot of praise. damnit.
    Going to tone it all down.
    I think there’s one thing missing from your article and that would be next day text.
    I think its necessary for a girl to at least get some kind of message.
    As much as we can power play women, they are definitely seeking attention and if you don’t give it to them then they will get it elsewhere.
    Cheers
    -eric

    Like

    1. Hey Eric, I’m glad you liked the article. But I sure wished you’d read it earlier too just to avoid the mistakes you made. So definitely tone it down as you said. Next day text is okay but not necessary. It all depends on the content. Make it unrelated to the sex. A next-day text shouldn’t be filled with praises of how good her body feels

      Like

  4. Hey K

    I have been thinking about this for a while ( i have had a lot of mixed results after sex over the past year and am trying to figure).

    My most recent 3 lays i have messaged the girl the next day with a tease of some sort and then 3-4 days after the lay again to make plans – all of them went south.
    (1 of those i can discount to being really drunk and giving bad sex)

    The most recent was a girl i have known for a while and hadn’t seen in years ( i moved to her area recently), we met and hit off immediately and had a wild night.
    I got the excuse that she is really busy for the following week.

    I wandering others thoughts on just not texting a thing after sex whatsoever ? (this will be my next approach)

    Like

    1. Hey MrC, glad you commented. I want to caution you that you shouldn’t read too deeply into this (your situations). You clearly pointed out what those reasons could be with 2 of those girls. My hunch tells me that you’re right about why they went South (although they’re salvageable).

      From now on though, I would like you to go to plan C as you eluded to: no contact after sex…until after a week! That’s the way I do it! And even if I do contact her the next day, it’s totally unrelated to the hookup, and my vibe would’ve been chilled enough to not give off any pedestaling vibe.

      So…don’t kill yourself in trying to figure out what went wrong here. You already gave good reason.

      Like

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