How To Deal With Being Stood Up
Fresh off the heels of my latest-posted video which dealt with being stood up, the fashion in which I was able to turn around that set, led me to this novel realization:
(Exaggeratingly) Pouncing on yourself and the girl who stood you up, is a much better way to turn around a flaky set than it is to be all cool, calm and collected about being stood up and flaked.
Now, this concept totally runs contrary to what the pick-up community has long taught, that it’s best to play it cool as ice and be non-reactive whenever stood up.
That approach doesn’t work that effectively…hardly ever!
I’ve tried it hundreds of times- literally- over the last 7 years (to no avail) to know that it isn’t viable nor does it work in turning around sets by having the girl finally accept the date and to meet up without flaking again.
It is largely due to this reason of not being able to convert flakes into meet-ups through classic method [playing it cool], why as of the end of 2013, I’d totally done away with getting girls’ phone numbers to elect to going straight for the (instant)date where I won’t have to worry about being stood up and flaked on.
Playing it cool whenever a girl stands you up, is sorta like sub-communicating to the girl the following message:
“I’m fine! I’m cool! You stood me up but I’m ok! It was nothing! My time was wasted but I’m still cool. Nothing needs to change. You don’t need to improve. You don’t need to be taught a lesson”!
Do you see the subtle difference in why playing it cool actually backfires in sending the wrong message, that you don’t mine being flaked and have your time wasted?
You will more so inadvertently send such a message than the 1 you intend, which is to communicate to the girl that despite being stood up, you’re not gonna cry about it but you can always reschedule.
More times than not; the girl will NOT look at the bright side towards a guy she’d stood up who doesn’t make her pay in any way for it.
Lots of guys who study Pickup, are too hung up on the idea of being the Alpha-Male to the maximum, without realizing that there come times when you will have to show the chick some glimpses of vulnerabilities and chinks in your armament.
You should NOT aim to appear manly all the way through as if you’re some inhumane android that isn’t in touch with the emotions of human beings.
This is why I wrote an extensive article some months ago which shocked the pick-up world, where I advocated that “Desperation Game” is actually a great form of game to play [however in person only].
Desperation is often seen as weak and a trait of the Beta-Male.
However, when trying to seduce a new girl, for instance, at a bar, there comes a point within the interaction that the girl will need to see some strategic weaknesses and flaws in your game, which will serve to humanize you instead of appearing as though you’re some complete being who doesn’t have an ounce of flaw in the world.
This is a real turnoff whenever trying to connect with a girl on a deeper level in order to sleep with her (appearance of perfection).
The girl MUST see that you’re a fellow human who actually has fucking feelings!
Too many guys who read pick-up material, take the concept of the Alpha-Male and run with it to the bank, without using social intelligence to know when and where they should up the Alpha and subdue the Alpha!
Likewise with being stood up on dates and flaked on by a girl.
Trying to remain “Alpha” is actually a HUGE mistake, and I’d already explained the reason for this above!
Whenever a girl stands you up, you want to do the complete opposite of “Alpha” and go Beta/Omega (so-called weak) instead.
However, this should be done strategically and not from a place of being genuine!
You want to cry about being stood up; however, not in genuine fashion!
You want the girl to know that you’re fucking pissed that she’d stood you up!
So much so [pissed] that you’re on the verge of jumping off of the Golden Gate Bridge! 😯
This however, should be done (said or written) in such a way that conveys a bit of humor, playfulness and borderline seriousness.
This concept/method is TOTALLY unheard of in the seduction community.
Shit- in fact- prior to last week, I never heard any of the gurus nor mere coaches, advocate this approach to be taken…until I stumbled upon RSD Jeffy Allen’s video where he was stood up.
Jeffy is the 1st to preach this method of going Beta when stood up and flaked.
I was skeptical of the method until I actually tried it last week and it turned around the entire set after a girl had stood me up at a pizzaria!
It worked so effectively, that the girl skipped the entire “date” rescheduling altogether and flat-out told me through text to “come over”…meaning to her house! 😯
Talk about a magic-fucking pill!
That’s as close as you’ll get!
The hidden beauty in the routine and the logical aspects, are that if you put someone on the spot, there’s a better chance that he or she will conform and play fair the next time around as opposed to consciously and purposely dicking around.
This can be said for every facet of life where one has to deal with others: be it co-workers, employee-to-boss, business dealings, favors, etc.
If you bullshit someone and that someone virtually let’s you off the hook by trying to appear unaffected, there’s a greater chance that you’ll bullshit him again.
On the other hand, if you bullshit someone and that someone puts you on the spot about it, corners you, expresses their disapproval (albeit jokingly), you are more likely to actively try to fulfill your end of the bargain as to avoid another awkward situation with that person.
Putting a girl on the spot for standing you up, has the same effect.
Hence, bear those pointers in mind next time you’re dealing with a post-flake situation.
Being stood up and flaked is inevitable as the sunrise tomorrow!
It’s actually the fucking rule and not the exception…especially when your game consists of heavy reliance on collecting phone numbers.
Eight in ten phone numbers (sometimes 9 in 10) will either result in 1 of the following: flakes, being stood up or a dead end (girl loses interest, etc).
You’ll be spending much more of your dating time trying to troubleshoot flakes than trying to figure out which restaurant is best to take your hot date.
Therefore, it’ll be prudent to get this shit in order right now!
If a girl stands you up or flakes on you, you don’t fucking take it lying down by trying to act all James Bond Alpha cool!
Instead, you dive off the fucking deep end by flooding the girl with a bunch of (fabricated) emotional texts of how much you are heartbroken and wanna kill yourself [you do this the following day by the way, and not the same night as you were stood up]! 😦
You berate the girl also!
Call her a heartless bitch for ripping out your fragile heart so coldly!
Pour your emotions out at her like a burst fire-hydrant in the middle of a New York City park!
Bombard her with Love, Hate, Cussing, Vulgarity, Hurt and so forth!
However, remember to pepper in some smiley faces and emoticons in order to lighten up the mood a bit and convey to the girl that you aren’t really going bat-shit crazy and suicidal over being stood up.
Hence, you want your post-flake texts or phone calls to be a combination of pain, anger, love, hate, humor and funny.
Playing it cool by virtually ignoring the fact that she stood you up, will only sub-communicate to her that you don’t mine being jerked around.
Thus, while you’re tying to remain Alpha and preserve a tough exterior, you’re only managing to dig yourself a deeper ditch.
This antiquated methodology of handling flakes is very INEFFECTIVE!
Just yesterday, had a girl stood me up, this would’ve been my reaction (as advised by pickup):
“Hey Gina, I don’t really know what happened last night but I end up getting so hammered that I forgot we were even to meet up. It’s cool though. I figured something came up why you couldn’t show. No big deal”.
Then I would totally change topics and pretend as though she hadn’t stood me up last night.
In retrospect, the girl was probably saying to herself, “Damn- I dodge a bullet! Won’t have to explain to this chumps why I stood him up”!
Then she would flake again for the simple fact that she didn’t have to face any heat for her prior actions.
This is why I advocate cussing girls out whenever they are in violation of certain principles which should go without saying.
Being too hands off and adverse to getting dirty with women, is actually a grave mistake lots of men in pickup make (also men in general).
Simply for the fact that there exists a great score of women who love to push the buttons of men whom they know are too passive to give them a kick in the ass.
Younger girls for that matter, being more drama driven, are liable to provoke tamed men who are ultra-complacent, just for a fight.
Not giving them that fight or fix of drama/tension, will turn them off…which means she will hit the NEXT button on your ass!!!
Hence, if a girl had done something to wrong you; as the man, you need to punish her!
Not solely by being passive and ignoring the infraction (which isn’t punishment at all), but by giving her a piece of your mind…then you (strategically) ignore her with some freeze-out tactics.
This may not be the best reaction in every single case. But it is more effective to gain respect and put a woman in check than it is to allow her to continue to violate the principles and your manhood.
With that, if you hadn’t yet seen my latest video where I’d turned around a recent situation where I was stood up, you can view it below!