Now, this may not be sound advice for every guy, but I find that it works for myself.
In my immediate town, I’m well known as an infamous-womanizing prick.
I’ve earned the reputation, the name, title and the whole shebang.
I wear that shit like a jacket nowadays when otherwise, I would’ve cowered from the label.
Whenever Kenny rolls down the bloc, girls either know that they are a prospective-pickup subject and either run for the hills, or stay and fight…which entails great conversation and the possibility of being taken somewhere for an even greater time culminating in mind-blowing sex.
There’s no pretending to be a saint on my part because my reputation says differently throughout my town.
I was reminded of this today during an exchange while buying a snack from a vending lady on the roadside before heading to work.
While grabbing the coffee, another patron, a girl whom I know, had an on-the-fly chat with me about men who buy stuff for women then take them back after a falling out.
The vending-lady out of jest says to me, “You should pay for this young lady’s stuff”.
Essentially trying to tool me out for an extra sale…a sale which she was getting anyway since the girl was buying something for herself.
The girl then says to the vending-lady, “You don’t know him. He doesn’t buy for women and he believes in taking things back”.
At this point, most guys will try to save themselves and their reputation by playing the nice-guy shit and doing the gentleman gesture by paying for her stuff and professing to be upright.
Fine…if that makes you happy!
Me however, I played the negative shit up a notch, so I said to both of them: “I’m a rebel from birth and a bad ass too. Check my reputation”!
The vending-lady, not knowing me nor anything about me, had to nod in astonishment at how much I owed my shit in the face of social pressure and social norms.
If you carry a negative reputation; own the shit!
Girls call you cheap; own it!
They call you a pervert; own the shit too!
Worst possible thing to do is to try to conform, deny and back-peddle on your reputation and what women seem to perceive you as.
I can tell you, it’s no fun going around pretending and trying to salvage and clean up your reputation after it has been muddied.
Once it’s done; accept it as ruined and live with it by owning it and living in the means of it.
You’re not running for political office where a squeaky-clean reputation is a prerequisite.
Trying to convince women that you’re actually a nice guy, will not freaking change their perception of you after the fact.
Trying to convince women that you’re not cheap by buying out the bar, won’t change a thing neither!
Instead, you own it and double the fuck down verbally and through action!
Don’t fight a battle trying to clean up a bad rep least you drive yourself nuts.
There’s no greater liberating feeling than when the demons are out the closet and you don’t have to run and hide from yourself/rep anymore.
Hence, you’ll never ever catch me trying to play the stereotypical nice-guy role (’cause I’m not), especially in order to be liked and accepted by women.
My reputation among women whom I know (such as the ones in my town), has already been tainted and cemented into their mind: “Kenny is a jerk, a pick-up artist, badboy, asshole, cheapskate, womanizer, player, jerk, perv, jerk again”, etc. 😉
The fact that I own it, is what makes me so attractive and irresistible to those women in particular…albeit my reputation is such.
I see guys tryna buy out bars all the time. And when I psycho-analyze the dynamics and sub-texts of the situation, the reason for this [buying out the bar attempt] is almost always the same:
Those guys are trying to redeem and save a good name with women, by trying to avoid a bad name, hence they cower to the social pressure and buy the girl and all of her friends drinks, in order to not be labeled and stigmatized as a cheap-skating low-life.
Furthermore on a tangent, this sorta “trying to save rep” mentality, is typically why men and women alike, run to the church [for a stint nevertheless].
Most women in the church [ones under the age of 50] are current to reformed whores.
They only end up there due to some personal or public scandal which might have gotten out:
“Casey got caught and fired for sucking her boss’ dick while on the job”!
“Time to seek refuge in the church and hopefully gain a new name for myself”.
This is also indicative of why most of them will back-slide shortly afterwards.
Moreover, the naturally excepted tendency of someone in disrepute, is to live the opposite lifestyle of what they’re in hot water for.
Girl gets publicly shamed and accused of being a slut?
She runs to the church for public redemption.
Guy gets outed as pervy or lame; he runs to the church in order to clean up his reputation…or at least, undergoes some life-altering change for the worst.
Kenny gets labeled pervy for staring at girls’ asses while they walk by: he owns that shit full throttle, verbally and non-verbally!
I love asses!
Nothing to be ashamed of in that!
I see guys all the time, whenever put on the spot by girls about checking out women, they [the guys] almost always try to put themselves on the gentleman’s list by agreeing with the woman’s position that checking out asses is pervy, degrading and bad, bad, bad!
There’s even a girl who comes by my job site to conduct business, who calls me Mr. Perv. 😈
Because whenever she stops by, I’m always trying to make out with her or get all up on her ass in some way or another.
Hence, she calls me Mr. Perv [albeit she likes me a lot though].
Do I run and hide or try to convince her that I’m really a decent-good guy who doesn’t want to get in her skinny jeans.
Heck fucking no!
I double down on her perception of me by calling her Mrs. Perv, and we role play that shit (essentially re-framing the negative to a positive)!
The moment you run from bad labeling or bad press: you’re done for good!
You might as well pack your bags and relocate to another town, city, state or country!
Troubleshooting bad press by trying to show how much you are to the contrary, will only crucify you more with women and in the dating scene.
Girl calls you creepy; own it!
Don’t embark on a journey in trying to prove to her that you’re not creepy!
Recently, I posted something to Facebook like, “I’m a tit man”.
A female friend from my town who I share mutual friends with, commented, “You’re such a perv. Don’t you have anything better you could post”?
She didn’t say this with humor neither. She was dead serious and thought that I was pervy for posting that.
Did I disown it?
Did I try to convince her that I wasn’t a perv?
Did I apologize in any way?
No, No and No!
I owed it with a reply in humor by saying something along the lines of, “Yes I am a perv. Just make sure my beers are cold”.
She’s a bartender in my town which was why I said that.
I totally re-framed her negative statement by 1stly owning it, and secondly negging her in the process.
Ok, so hopefully you get the point in why you should own shit, double down and not try to iron out yourself to be some sorta personified-angelic being.
Also, if you already have a negative reputation, for instance, as a womanizer or asshole with women, etc. bear in mind that trying to change this to a positive, won’t help!
Once your rep is fucked with women, you either own it or go home for good.
Guys who try to portray this righteous and upright shit with women [white-knights], are always the ones you discover on the 5 o’clock news with their wrist slit, unable to cope with this cold world where women pass up on them for guys whom are deemed bad, pervs, asshole, jerks, etc.
Not giving a shit in the sense of owning your shit, is sexy and attractive!