She bought it, then regretted the purchase!
Buyer’s Remorse: To later regret a decision or action which was made. For example: you purchase an expensive vehicle with your savings, then later regret that decision since everyone is now shaming you about what a bad decision it was.
Buyer’s Remorse In Dating And Pickup
According to my buddy, Alpha Wolf, the author at PUA Lingo, Buyer’s Remorse happens as a result of the guy neglecting to firstly build comfort/rapport with the new girl.
I totally agree!
To simplify for you guys, take note of the following scenario:
I meet a girl,
We hit it off,
We talk over the phone for the 1st time,
During that conversation, we have phone sex.
This all happened before even making a connection/rapport/comfort.
Now, what does a girl do whenever she feels uncomfortable about a situation or someone?
She flees from it…or from that person!
This’ a classic occurrence as the result of Sexting, where Sexting almost always backfires on the guy who was sent the nude photos [that’s if he doesn’t get to seal the deal within a day or so].
Just as the case with phone sex, sex talk or sex with a girl with the exclusion of comfort/rapport: the girl begins to feel slutty and experiences an acute case of Buyer’s Remorse, and as a result- she cannot bear to face the guy again, hence she stops talking to him, stops texting, stops taking his phone calls, etc.
Personally, I am not exonerated from this mishap.
In the past, I had a habit of engaging in phone sex within 10 minutes of chatting to a new girl over the phone.
My ability to getting girls to open up sexually was uncanny…and fucking scary!
There was 1 common theme as a result though:
They would all stop talking to me by the next day! 😯
I had zero clue as to what I’d done wrong to chase these girls away.
“For crying out loud; we had phone sex in less than 24 hours of meeting! They must have liked me tremendously”…so I thought!
Truth was: they did like me very much!
I was just totally oblivious to the concept of Buyer’s Remorse and by extension, Cognitive Dissonance.
It pained me that I was having great results in getting phone numbers, but unable to convert them to sex because the girls refused to answer their phones whenever I tried to set something up.
Having a (new) girl send you nude pictures before building enough comfort with her, will result in Buyer’s Remorse as was the case with the girls with whom I had phone sex.
Don’t get me wrong: phone sex and sexting are GREAT [I still engage in both]!
However, there’s an art to it!
An art which replies heavily on 2 things:
I’ll dedicate an entire article to the art of it…so stay tuned for that!
Before I tackle solutions here [comfort building], I wanna talk about Buyer’s Remorse in relation to full-blown sex, since we’ve already touched on its siblings: Sexting and Phone Sex.
Buyer’s Remorse typically happens in the case of One-Night Stands where sex occurs before the girl is psychologically ready for it.
Ok, so you meet a girl at a nightclub.
You manage to take her home or fuck her in the lounge area or the restroom in the venue.
Most likely, she will have had a drink or 2 fueling her system.
Phone numbers get exchanged [terrible idea might I add].
The following day, the girl wakes up sober-minded and recounts while laying in bed, the events from the previous night of clubbing.
She now realizes (with a sober mind) that she’d fucked some random guy from the night club! 😯
Sure she enjoyed the moment in the moment!
However, it isn’t something she wants to have to dwell on or have to face again…unless in the moment.
Hence, she regrets the decision of banging a guy out the club.
She now feels all slutty about it and wishes to run for the hills in shame- praying that no one finds out about this.
As a result: she now has Buyer’s Remorse.
She regretted what she’d purchased the previous night: One-Night Stand Sex.
Now, here comes the guy- you- not knowing what Buyer’s Remorse with women looks like, so you decide to give her a call the subsequent day…oblivious to the girl having a case of Buyer’s Remorse.
Ring, ring, ring, ring…
Ring, ring, ring, ring…
Ring, ring, ring, ring…
Straight to voicemail.
You give it another shot later on that day: same result…which is no result as far as getting her on the phone.
Now, this usually occurs if the girl happens to recognize your name or phone number which she might have saved to her mobile phone book.
If she didn’t save the # with a contact name, hence doesn’t recognize who’s calling, she will likely answer the phone.
When she does recognize the voice on the other end: the guy who’d fucked her the previous night, she will freak out and find a way to end the conversation as quick as possible.
As the guy, you’re left to wonder, “WTF happened!? We shared such a beautiful moment last night”!!
Upon concluding this article, you will have realized that the culprit was Buyer’s Remorse.
Building Rapport And Comfort
Ok, so how do you avoid this happening after sex, after sexting or after phone sex?
Build more comfort before going there!
Comfort/Rapport simply entails the exchange of a deep connection.
This happens when the girl says something like, “I feel like we’ve known each other for ages…and we just met 10 minutes ago”!
Having a connection/rapport/comfort, elicits such statements from either party.
When you build a sufficient amount of connection with a girl, she begins to open up on a real level where she finds herself talking about her fears, insecurities, shortcomings and so forth.
Someone who feels like a complete stranger, will not just open up about those things unless she’s comfortable doing so.
Therefore, you want her to reach the point where she feels such a strong connection, that she doesn’t hold herself back from sharing details of the skeletons in her dirty closet.
This is what we call the “Comfort Phase” in the seduction world.
It is the (unspoken) phase of the interaction where you get to know more about the other person, hence the “Rapport Phase” as it is also called.
You need to have rapport (comfort) in order to get the girl comfortable with you.
However, you absolutely do NOT need to have rapport (comfort) in order that the girl sleeps with you.
Solely having attraction is enough to make the girl spread her legs or send some naked pictures of herself.
However, it is with the absence of Rapport/Comfort/Connection, that she shuts down due to Buyer’s Remorse after committing the lewd act.
Warning: Don’t go comfort crazy here!
Trying to make a girl comfortable by trying to build rapport or a connection, may also land you in the hideous friendzone. 😯
Too much connection is absolutely the reason why guys get thrown into the “Let’s Just Be Friend” basket.
Therefore, it’s a balancing act in the truest sense of the word.
Too much comfort-building may inadvertently communicate to the girl that you’re seeking to be her platonic friend.
On the contrary- not enough comfort-building- and she’s left to feel as though she doesn’t know you at all, which will make her super uncomfortable if she does become sexual in any way [be it through sex, sexting, phone sex or simply talking sex].
Now, as I stated earlier, a girl will definitely sleep with you without having an ounce of connection.
Just that she’ll regret it afterwards and begin to ignore you as much as humanly possible.
To combat this, you want to balance out rapport and romantic interest.
In other words, you don’t want to come off as though you’re making friends (Rapport)- when in reality- you want to fuck this girl!
Therefore, you must strike a balance in vibe between “I want to be your friend”, and “I want to fuck the shit out of you”.
Simultaneously work both angles!
This isn’t difficult neither.
Through text messaging, you must rely more on the “friends angle” since going too heavy on sex talk over the phone or text, may scare her off.
This’ why it’s very risky to get sexual with a girl over text.
Any little misinterpretation of a text coming from you, may scare her off. And there’s nothing you [the guy] can do to correct this.
In person however, you’re allowed to be more sexual than friendly, in the event that you do miss-calibrate and go overboard, she cannot just push a button and put you on ignore as she does when over the phone.
Once again guys, if you’ve experienced the anomalous situation where after getting sexual with a girl, she suddenly stops talking with you [and I know you have], the reason may very well be a lack of comfort-building vibe, a lack of rapport and a lack of a connection.
In order to avoid this from re-occurring with other women in the near future, you have to build more rapport, comfort and connection, while simultaneously being sexual or romantic, or else you run the risk of being friendzoned by neglecting to build a sexual vibe altogether.
For reference sake, there was a girl I seduced in the club back in 2009 [read: How I picked up the hottest girl in the club].
I took her back to my luxurious-hotel room without an ounce of rapport/comfort. Fucked her on a One-Night Stand pull, then went our separate ways that same morning.
We didn’t know each other but for 3 hours prior to shagging down!
The following day, as a courtesy call, I decided to call her up just to not make her feel as though I’d fucked her and forgotten about her [plus she was the 1st and only squirter I ever met to date, so I definitely wasn’t trying to forget about her as yet].
Her phone rang out!
I must have called her 20 times during the day included text messages…to no avail.
I swore she must have given me the wrong number by mistake, so I asked a friend of mines to phone her from his phone just to be certain that she wasn’t screening calls coming from my phone.
She answered immediately! 😯 😡
I was left to ponder, “What the fuck did I do!? Girls always complain about guys hitting and running. Here I am contacting this girl the day after, and she’s playing games”!?
In all reality, I was the cause of her Buyer’s Remorse.
She didn’t want to see me again, neither did she want to keep in touch whatsoever.
Had I built more of a connection before having sex, the outcome would’ve been different. But my focus was on quick sex. And from that angle; I did everything correctly and I did attain quick Same-Night Sex. But at the expense of Buyer’s Remorse.