The Weirdest Lay Attempt Ever [June 5th Field Report]

Comfort, Comfort, Comfort…or lack thereof

In Pickup/Seduction, there’s a critical phase dubbed “Comfort/Rapport”.

It’s a juncture within the interaction where the seductionist seek to gain “Comfort” in making the girl comfortable by connecting with her via “Rapport/Comfort” building.

The more time you spend with a woman: the greater the chance of making her comfortable with you and around you.

However, there’s a catch 22 in that making the girl too comfortable with you (in a non-sexual way), she will have deemed you as just a shoulder to lean on and likely to friendzone you.

Hence, you always want to err on the side of less comfort by not connecting with her too strongly.

Anyway, so yesterday evening [Thursday] while taking care of some business, I came across a nice piece of ass so I picked her up via my usual Same-Night Lay [SNL] method of getting laid quick.

Fast forward a ton, I got her to my apartment around 8:30 PM but she was super nervous and sitting at the edge of the bed…as expected.

Tidbit: always ensure that the only seating available is on the bed. So make sure to pile boxes and shit on the sofas and chairs so she has no choice but to sit on the bed. 😈

After some minutes, she became super comfortable as she showed me some funny videos which she’d downloaded to her Android phone.

At 1 point, she said to me that I was lying too close to her.

I viewed that as some kinda test of sorts so I busted on her for wanting me to slide over. After a while, I did move over a bit. I just didn’t want her to think that I was going to move on her request, so that’s why it’s good to wait few seconds so that it looks as though you moved on your own volition and not because she said so.

All the while, I was lying down while she sat at the edge of the bed so I said to her:

“Why don’t you get a bit comfortable and stop being so tense. It’s not like I’m gonna try to fuck you”.

Girl: “Lol I am comfortable”.

Then she scoots up further on the bed to lie down a bit.

After about an hour and a half of constant objections towards my attempts at getting intimate with her, I lost interest in the bang altogether and froze her out.

In pickup jargon, that means to ignore her. So I rolled over with my back turned to her which prodded her to engage me:

Girl: “What’s the matter”?

Me: “Nothing”

I was totally not trying to sit up all night with this chick looking through photos and watching some stupid-ass videos.

If she isn’t DTF: I have no interest.

Worst of all; she smokes cigarettes!

I can’t fucking stand women who smoke! 😦

After a while, she said she had to get going because her friend might get worried [she’s staying with a friend].


She left about 10:30 (from being in my place since 8:30) and I dozed off immediately after.

At 12 AM sharp, I was awakened by my iPhone. 3 whatsapp messages had come in from the girl [actual screenshot snippet below]:

“Wake up”!


“Why you taking so long to respond”?

I was so not interested in what she had to say…but I replied anyway.

“I’m not sleep. Just listening some music”.

Girl: “Ok well…can I come back over”?

At this point, I’m like “WTF”- while doing back flips at another shop at banging this sexy girl.

Me: “Whatever! If you wanna come by again it’s up to you”.

Girl: “What’s the attitude for”?

Me: “Just a bit tired and sleepy”

Girl: “Well are you gonna leave the door open for me since you might fall asleep”?

Me: “I guess”

I kept the door locked however as I really didn’t believe she would come back over…a chick whom I’d just met that same night.

I dozed off and was awakened by a rattling of the doorknob and light knocks on the window of the studio apartment.

It was about 1 AM, I let her in, went back to lie down as if she wasn’t there.

She kicked off her shoes and grabbed the other side of the bed:

Girl: “Let’s watch some videos”.

Me: “What!? It’s after 1 and I’m sleepy”.

Girl: “Whateva Kenny”!

We stood up and watched some videos on Youtube for a bit. She seemed mighty comfortable in my bed.

I said to her:

“Why are you all the way over there in the corner”?

Girl: “Because it’s comfortable here”

Me: “Well you can dress over”

She didn’t scoot over closer to me so I moved closer to her instead.

Girl: “Why are you so close”?

I ignored her with my back turned towards her.

I asked her if she was cold since it was pretty breezy that night. She said “no”.

Me: “Well I’m cold as hell”. Come cuddle me from behind”.

Girl: “Nooooooooooo”

Me: “So not fun”

After a while, I put my hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.

Oh ok!

I chilled back to try again as expected.

Every attempt to establish touch was denied: whether it be touching her knees, elbows, shoulders, hair, back, and other such non-sexual regions of the bod.

In my head I’m saying, “You came back here for this shit!? Why didn’t you just stay home!? You took a cab all the way here…for what”?

I dozed off, woke up, she was out cold so I tried to get her attention by coughing loudly.

She turned and then I threw my arm around her shoulder as if unconscious- but she rejected that move also by shrugging away my arm.

Holy shit!

This chic can’t be serious!?

In my apartment? My bed!?

Then I immediately afterwards flashed back to an old post of mines: “2 hidden reasons why she didn’t give it up”.

Either she’s on her menstrual, or hasn’t shaven her pussy in a while.

Third possible reason of rejecting intimacy could simple come down to she not wanting to fuck me.

Plain and simple.

However, my hunched told me that she was either on her period or was unkempt downstairs.

Just to bring something else to your attention: the average girl doesn’t wake up, go about her usual business and expect to be taken home by a random stranger…to fuck!

That just doesn’t register on her daily program.

Therefore, often times when I pick up girls for possible One-Night Stand sex, they are usually shell shocked that such a unpredictable thing could’ve happened…going home with a complete stranger within 30 minutes of meeting.

Hardly any guy is out there looking to take girls home the same night, so the reality of this, usually catches women completely off guard.

Ok, so this begs the question though: Why the fuck would you come back over to my place to sleep in my bed if you didn’t expect intimacy!?

Of course the underlying reason for this is simple:

Women are irrational thinkers

Why girls don’t follow logic

Hence, even if a girl doesn’t want to fuck, she will often times make gestures and moves which indicate otherwise.

Anyway, I was faced with 2 choices:

1.) Either kick her out

2.) Let her sleep

As much of an asshole I can be, I called it a night and allowed her to stay untouched.

Perhaps I’ll get the lay over the weekend. ❓

Also, I don’t feel that it came down to a lack of comfort in this case although lack of comfort is usually the culprit for this sorta situation.

I woke up at 6 AM to meet her sitting up in bed on her phone and staring at the rose mural on the wall so I took a few shots just for the fuck of it.

5 thoughts on “The Weirdest Lay Attempt Ever [June 5th Field Report]

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  1. I’ve had something similar happen to me, but to this day I call it rape.

    There was this girl I have been introduced to by mutual friends. She wasn’t hot or anything, just a regular white girl with no special assets (not a great ass or tits). Has a kid.

    Anyway, she calls me up out of the blue one day to eat some ice cream. I was hungover as fuck so I decided to join her, because some company couldn’t hurt. I wasn’t trying to fuck her or anything, just a regular “eat ice cream and banter” kind of thing.

    She spoke for 2-4 hours straight without me even getting between her, shit like “everybody likes to fuck me” and “people tell others they fucked me while I’ve never seen them” and all that type of “popular girl” bullshit.

    I decided to go back to my appartment, she asked me if she could stay for a while and then leave, I’m like “ok”.

    Back home, I started to really dislike her company but didn’t want to kick her out brutally, so I started doing nasty shit like pulling out a gram of coke and crushing it, smoking my bong and drinking wine out of the bottle wihout offering anything. She stayed there and said “act like you’re at home”.

    After some time I told her lets look for a last bus, she starts kissing me and riding my leg. The moment I start going after her she backs off and goes “we’re just friends, right ?” and ignores me completely. I tried pursuading but to no avail. She kept doing that for 1 hour straight, riding my leg and biting my neck until I tried to do the same back… then she jumps off and sells me some LJBF bullshit.

    Again, I’m not interested in her and am not trying to fuck her, but if she jumps me, I’m gonna fuck her. We were lying on the ground and sitting on a chair while she constantly push/pulls… I’m getting freaked out and all “wtf”, because, WTF ?!

    I finally decide to go back to bed, the bitch FOLLOWS ME and kept grinding me and pulling away when I initiated for like 2 hours. Finally, she put my dick in her at 3 or 4 am (I met her at 6pm) and started calling me by my last name “FUCK ME, “. I’m drugged up, fucking weirded out and hoping I go limp…

    Worst fucking ice cream date ever.


    1. Lol you got rape bro. But your story ended good in that you got the lay. I didn’t even get the fucking lay lol. But funny story though with pulling out some coke and doing it right in front of her. I would figure that would send her running for the hills but she stayed.


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