The Truth About Being Desperate With Women

“There’s 1 thing all great seducers have in common”.

A recent post of mines sparked an interesting dialogue over Twitter between fellow PUA blogger El Nino and others.

The underlying question was: Desperation or Persistence?

“If I persist, would the girl see it as desperate and needy”?

A very common question guys ask, whether they be practitioners of Pickup or just your ordinary bloke stumbling along.

On the subject, I’ll copy-paste some commented excerpts of mines from the said article which sparked this discussion.

Kenny’s Comments:

…and not being physical enough or as you should be is another problem most of us face.

I have a theory and that is to persist until the girl either gives in or gets vexed and leave.

Passion is super attractive to women!

The desire to want to fuck the hell out of her without having control of yourself is sexy and women sense this. But most men will see this as desperate. But we aren’t trying to seduce men. Women see shit differently. Women see a bit of neediness while persisting as an IOI and a plus. That’s the point I was making and you see that now. A girl just wants to know that you are willing to push and push and back her into a corner. She wants to know that you’re serious about her and not just collecting #’s to brag.

The more you pursue her in the ways I explained, the more attractive she’ll see it.

Also, if you watch the video with the thick girl @ the store, my badboy vibe and subtle aggression did not turn her off but it attracted her more to the point that she’d opened me at the end by asking about what I eat for breakfast.

That was her way of re-initiating the talk for me to possibly pursue her. A lot of guys will see that video as me being needy, chasing, desperate and a fucking pest. But with 60% of women, you will have to run this sorta game to flip the attraction switch and attract her.

Also Nino, I used to notice a lot that women will lose interest in me and I never knew why. When I did my homework, I found that I wasn’t showing her that I really wanted her. I was being too distant, too safe and too hands off. I wasn’t chasing until they give in.

Most women see chasing as sexy, attractive, adorable and a sign of your interest.

Just that you don’t want to chase over the phone. That is the main difference and problem with most of us; we chase women over the phone and text, but in person, we don’t chase when in fact, we should chase in person and not chase over text.

The real reason women get turned off whenever a guy chases over text or phone call or the internet, is because he cannot realistically get intimate with her over the phone. So the girl feels as though she’s wasting time. But in person and face to face, you should chase and appear a bit needy and do things that would seem a bit desperate.

Remember; men will see this as desperate. But women will see it as “he really likes me”.

I want to briefly touch on the sexes and why and how we differ.

Most men (foolish as we are) are under the impression that humans in general, despite the sexes, all think alike.

Women think just like men and men think like women [this’ what most men hold as factual].

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

The reality is: men and women are polar opposites on every subject ranging from child-rearing, sex, diet to just about every fucking thing under the sun!

Prime example, a female cousin of mines had recently posted a news article to her Facebook, of a female teacher who was arrested yet received a slap on the wrist for giving a male student of hers a lap-dance.

Women were appalled by this as was the case with 98% of the females who had commented on my cousin’s FB post!

How about the males who commented (including myself)?

“It was just an innocent lap-dance”.

“Where was this teacher when I was in school”.

“Ladies, ladies, ladies, the teacher should be punished but definitely not jailed or fired”.

There you have it; a social and ethical matter yet all the male commenters took the polar-opposite position to the women (and vice versa). Clear real-world example of where and how the sexes differ on things.

The crazy thing though: women also generally hold the opinion that we all think alike or at least should think alike. So both sexes are fucked…but more so men since we develop later, mature later and always seek to conform to the woman’s point of view [in the western world that is].

Ok, let’s have a little fun here as we plunge into the psyche of both sexes.

How The Sexes See Things:

*Girl makes out with a random guy at the nightclub whom she doesn’t know?

Male: “She’s a slut. She’s nasty. A dirty-little whore. An easy bitch”.

Female: “Things happen”.

*Girl fucks 20 guys?

Male: “She’s a whore! Slut! Un-dateable! Kill that bitch”!

Female: “Why the double standard”?

*Guy calls girl 3 times a day?

Male: “I really like her. This shows my interest. It means I love her”.

Female: “WTF! He’s annoying! Stalker! Stop calling already”!

*Guy fails to try to kiss the girl whom he’s chatting up (or his date)?

Male: “This is showing respect. I respect women. I’ll get points for not being desperate”.

Female: “He’s a fucking pussy! Kiss me already dammit! I so want to leave right now! He’s a turnoff”!

*Guy actually tries to kiss his date…on the first date?

Male: “He’s rushing. Why rush? Desperate! Not a gentleman! Sleazy douche”!

Female: “He actually likes me! Wow- he has balls! Brave guy! A go-getter. Sexual. Confident”!

Now, there are exceptions to the rule on both sides however sparing.

As for the female’s reactions and how she sees things, you guys also should realize that what a woman says out of her mouth, is often times opposite to what she would actually do and what she actually responds to.

I want you to read that again before proceeding!

What this means is that the average Jane, if asked, would almost always take the least sexual position on the subject of dating and sex [this is because society demonizes her unlike men]. So generally, she will NEVER (publicly) agree with a position which makes her seem slutty and sexual.

Hence, if you ask a girl : “Have you ever fucked on the 1st. date”?

Ninety five percent of the time; you will get a resounding “NO”!!! Even if she’s had more One-Night Stands than a Hunts Point hooker!

Therefore, what a girl says out of her mouth pertaining to men, dating and sex, she often contradicts on a personal level.

She isn’t doing this because of an insatiable need to lie.

She has to appear non-slutty in order to not be judged by society: men and even women alike.

Therefore, if you approach a girl and say to her, “I wanna kiss you”. Of course she would (pretend to) freak out and respond in the negative because after all- only cheap whores would kiss men who aren’t their boyfriends. โ“

However, if you simply (try to) kiss her without seeking her approval or permission, you’ll be astonished to find that she won’t take (genuine) offense to it [the attempt or the actual kiss].

Nevertheless, she will still put up token objections and pretend to be against it. But on the core (presuming she likes your vibe), her heart would be fluttering at such a bold and spontaneous move.

As to the topic of Desperation and Persistence and how women see it, bear in mind what I’d shared with you as to how the sexes differ on varying issues: we don’t see things alike.

What most men see as desperate, women often times find as charming, adorable and a sign of genuine interest in her on the guy’s part.

Therefore, if you’re looking at dating through the lens of a male; then you’re fucked!

As a heterosexual man, are you looking to appeal to other men?

Are you looking to pick up men?

Fuck No!

Then quit worrying about what other men think!

You’re not reading this article and learning about women in order to pick up men!

If a guy perceives your actions as desperate, don’t automatically assume that women will see them (and you) as desperate too!

It’s almost always not the case!

You can appear desperate all you want in person, but just not when not in person.

This goes back to the comment I made on the original article about guys playing this all wrong when not in person with the girl.

The type of shit you can get away with when face to face with a girl, you will never get away with over the phone, text nor through the internet.

I used to make the mistake very often of where my text messages would come off with a slight strain of desperation (overly persistent) and I will lose the girl right afterwards [without knowing where I’d gone wrong]!

Most men current make this same mistake. They persist and persist impersonally [via phone or text] but when in person with the girl; they decelerate and turn wuss all of a sudden.

When in person with a girl, that is your opportune moment to flirt with danger (proverbially), neediness, desperation and over persistence.

That is when you should chase!

However, if you chase a girl over Facebook or text (being over-persistent), she will almost always get turned off and simply not respond to your text messages…and eventually ignore you to death until you get the message that she doesn’t want to be bothered. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

In essence, she feels as though you’re wasting her precious time by pursuing her out of sight, where there isn’t a chance of intimacy between you and her…unless your cock could materialize through cyberspace into her bedroom [good luck with that 1].

Hence, you never want to chase women over text, whatsapp, phone calls or internet chat.

Leave the fucking chasing for when in person where the girl can actually sense your presence and feel your sexual desire permeating through the air and into her olfactory sense on downwards to her sexual organ!

Read this article from my good friend, Steve Jabba, a prominent PUA coach out of London: “Sexual Energy”.

Basically, when in person with a girl, it’s highly possible that she can feel your sexual energy, she can feel your desire, your genuine interest, your liking for her, etc, etc.

This is communicated through a concoction of persistence, slight neediness and a dash of desperation.

This cannot be achieved over the telephone!

Bear in mind the following-rhetorical question whenever thoughts arise of not wanting to look desperate: whom are you trying to pick up; men or women? Because sure: men will think that you’re desperate. But the hidden beauty is: women won’t! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚

Women generally cannot differentiate between desperate behavior and signs of attraction and liking.

Hence, a battered woman doesn’t see battery as a desperate act of jealousy and rage on the man’s part, but that the guy loves her so much as to why he beats her.

As twisted as it sounds, it’s actually the mindset. So women generally cannot tell the difference between love, hate and other such strong emotional responses on an intrinsic level.

Also: action speaks louder than words.

Cliche: but oh so true when dealing with women.

This is mainly why chasing girls over text or the telephone will always backfire: there’s no action there besides words.

You can’t demonstrate your love to a girl through text or words. You can only do so through actions.

Action speaks louder than words…again!!!

Whether your in-person “actions” come off as desperate or suave: that should be the least of your concerns.

The problem with playing things safe and being (too) aloof in order to not appear desperate, is that women will often perceive your hands-off blase vibe to mean: “He’s not into me”.

Women don’t take your reservation to mean that you’re playing things safe, cool and being respectable. Women take it to mean that you’re afraid, socially inept and gay.

If you’re gonna be cool and suave, then you must have the know-how to project strong-sexual chemistry through Sexual Eye Contact…but that is advanced stuff for another article.

Be as it may, you don’t want the girl genuinely believing that you’re not interested (by being too reserved and “respectable”), or else she’ll simply move along until she comes across someone who’s willing to let it all hang out…which entails acts of quasi desperation (however orchestrated).

Realistically, I Kenny, am NEVER EVER TRULY desperate to get laid!

I get laid too much to be genuinely desperate to reach a place where I’ve been more times than the busiest gynecologist!

Hence, my acts of (slight) desperation are simply just that: an act!

I’m genuinely an ultra non-persistent guy who prefers to hide off into the most obscure corners of the nightclub and hope that hot women will hop on my dick without me having to do or say anything.

At heart, that is what I prefer to do. Being that I wisely know that such non-proactive behavior will yield absolutely NOTHING, I’m forced into action to becoming a persistent pest when need be. However- it’s just an act on my part.

Digressing… ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyways, so you don’t want to be that guy at the bar strangling his mixed drink, puffing a cigarette, trying to preserve value by trying to look smoother than James Bond.

You can put on this impression as long as you’re not trying to get laid or pick up a girl in the venue.

If it’s just a boy’s night out- then fine- play the cool-cat role!

However, once you get to talking to a girl who possibly likes you, that James Bond cool shit should be thrown out the window.

You have to communicate to the girl that you’ll be willing to fuck her right here right now if given the right set of circumstances.

This sounds mighty desperate, but remember: a woman won’t see it as desperation, needy or thirsty for sex.

She’ll merely excuse it as just your way of communicating that you like her and are genuinely into her.

This hearkens back to the very first book of seduction I ever read many years ago: The Art Of Seduction by Robert Greene.

There’s a passage on the Ardent Rake (Lord Byron the poet) and how he would seduce women to bed through giving off the vibe that he was so uncontrollably desperate for the girl, that he cannot help himself, and his Intense Desire for her, might actually be a condition which he should seek medical attention for.

He wouldn’t say this outright. But his actions [“Intense Desire] would insinuate and sub-communicate it.

Check out these excerpts from an independent source as a memoir in reference to Lord Byron of the 1800’s:

“Romantic poet Lord Byron was an electrifying presence. Nineteenth-century Britain was consumed with โ€œByron-maniaโ€ and ladies fainted when he entered a room [remind you, he was an ugly man]”.

“He had an intense love of women”.

“Aware of womenโ€™s wish to be furiously desired, he came on strong…”

“He lavished women with attention…Most of all, he was a perpetual suitor and perpetually interesting, a virtuoso who mastered the most difficult feat: fade-proof passion”.

Women want to feel as though you’re almost crazy about them [in person only]!

I keep stressing “in person” because if you attempt this [intense desire] over the phone or text; she’ll run for the fucking hills faster than you can blink!!!

As Lord Byron, the Ardent Rake poet would seduce his subject, she would almost feel as though she’s the first woman he’d ever set eyes upon in his entire life.

Now, this isn’t saying you should only focus on 1 woman as in a bar setting.

The standard-seduction concepts of social proof and pre-selection should still be observed, which means you can and should still chat up other women in the bar just to give her the fear of losing your attention and to make her chase you also. So you don’t have to exclusively and only talk to her. Just that whenever you are interacting (face to face), communicate to her through non-verbal cues [your vibe, attitude and physicality] that for as long as it lasts: life revolves around her ONLY.

That is how you tell a girl that you like her without actually saying it [remember: action speaks louder].

Where the average-desperate guy goes wrong and fails, is that he doesn’t have a game plan.

He knows how to generate a desperate energy (which is a good thing), but without a cause.

He manages to hook the girl and gets her to like him, but he doesn’t know how to transition and extract the girl towards sex.

He makes it to the virtual-finish line but stumbles before crossing.

By the way, he makes it further than most men do (a lot further). But he just doesn’t know what to do once he’s near the finish line.

Hence, that’s why your average-desperate guy fails to get laid (whenever he does fail): NOT because he’s coming across as desperate [according to his fellow man]!!!

Ironically, the problem why lots of men in Pickup fail to get laid on a fairly regular basis, is because the average PUA-practitioner is completely adverse to the idea of being desperately persistent or desperate at all.

So, what the average PUA lacks, the Average-Desperate Guy has in abundance [desperate energy and intense desire for women]. And what the Average-Desperate Guy lacks and needs, the PUA has a lot of [tactical and logistical know-how].

Hence, your Average-Desperate Joe needs tactical knowledge while the average PUA needs vigor, tenacity and passion for women.

For the record: Pickup instructors aren’t to be blamed for this dilemma. It’s just that most men who gravitate to Pickup in the first place [myself included], happen to be non-proactive guys to begin with. So it’s pretty difficult for us coaches to crack a passion-less guy out of his shell by convincing him that he should be hands-on, intense, sexual, aggressive, proactive and persistent.

Now if the Pick-Up Artist (PUA) and the Average-Desperate Guy merge their strong qualities; it’d be a deadly-fucking combination. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰

This is where Kenny comes in, and that is exactly the purpose of this drawn-out article, to open the eyes of the average guy to what he lacks: a bit of desperate and needy energy…which as I stated before: women see as attractive and passionate.

Lemme tell you about the word Passion and how it relates to getting lots of women into bed.

Passion: “strong and barely controllable emotions”.

That is the most common definition of the word Passion.

Passion is seen by women as very sexy and a huge turn-on [ironically while for us men; a passionate woman in often times a huge turn-off].

This isn’t only Passion in dating and sex but Passion in general.

When you’re Passionate about something, you virtually lose control in that thing in which you’re passionate about [as the basic definition of the word defines].

When you’re Passionate about women or a particular girl, that Passion will transfer onto the girl and spike the attraction super high, thus sending her emotions into an intense tailspin like never before.

Just as persistence with women, being passionate in pursuit of a woman, is often times mistaken for desperation by other men observing from the outside.

Once again: fuck what other men think! You’re in this to get with women!

The Action Steps:

Ok, putting this all together in a neat little package: you should tailor your approach and game towards a specific woman, with an admixture of desperation, neediness, passion, persistence and intensity.

You should incorporate those 5 qualities into your game arsenal whenever interacting with a girl whom you’d like to sleep with!

A part of desperation-game is being physical and touchy or at least attempting to get physical with the girl.

Hence if you check out my videos and those of other PUA’s, it’s almost imperative that we touch and get physical somehow from the get-go…especially if and when trying to sleep with the girl.

I’m always reminded of this hidden-cam video of RSD Julien, the PUA-seduction instructor from Switzerland.

Being physical and touching will come off as desperate to other men. But to women, as the unspoken theme of this article hammers home: they won’t see touching and attempted kisses as desperation nor offensive. They’ll perceive it as self-assured, charming, dominant, romantic, sexy and having passion for women, i.e. her.

This is where lots of men fumble the hot potato or fail to act thus losing the girl.

They fail to be aggressive in the least out of fear of losing the girl and the misconception that being aggressive and intense will turn the girl off.

This couldn’t be any further from the truth!

Lemme share a little tidbit with you [another news-flash moment]:

If a girl stops talking to you on the premise that you were being too aggressive, intense or desperate, then she wasn’t going to fuck with you anyway- even if you were cool as a cucumber!

Therefore, pursuing a woman with intense vigor and passion will NEVER turn her off nor cause her to not want to talk to you or genuinely reject you.

On the contrary, lacking passion for her as I’d touched on earlier, will definitely turn her off and cause her to not want to talk to you…because you’re just another lackluster, passion-less, a-sexual chump who’s wasting her time playing armchair quarterback!

Now that’s a wake-up call!

RSD Julien calls this Shooting passion into her heart. it’s the same concept I’m currently revealing to you guys here.

You want to create the impression that you’re so passionate about that girl [remember Lord Byron’s intensity], that you’re losing control of yourself and sanity in the process [the true meaning of the word “passion”].

On a further note, women will almost always excuse naughty, rude, aggressive and bold behavior as long as you can communicate to her (through vibe and action) that you’re unable to control yourself and that you’re a slave to your passion (women/her).

Such vibe is seen as intensely adorable and attractive to women!

Classic example of this [women excusing rude and bold behavior] is a recent video I’d posted where I stopped an East Indian girl who was riding a bike, literally blocked her path, then I placed my hand on the handlebar so she doesn’t move.

You can only create this intense vibe (which will attract her) only if you come off somewhat desperate, needy, aggressive and persistent.

You have to show the girl that you fucking want her and mean it [at some point during the interaction]!

You have to communicate to her [through your energy] that you’re willing to rip her clothes off- right here right now- and ravage her fucking body like a wild beast in heat!

You communicate this through your eyes [passion is mainly seen through the eyes of a passionate person], the way you look at her, how you watch her (while in and out of conversation), the way in which you look at her lips with sexual desire and sexual intent in your eyes!

You have to look at her as though she’s a meal and you’re a starving vagrant who hasn’t seen food in weeks!!!

Undress her with your eyes!

Sounds desperate and intense! But this’ the vibe you want to create simply because it works!

Have you ever seen (sexual) chemistry or “connection” in the air between 2 individuals of the opposite sex in conversation?

Well this is what I’m talking about [chemistry].

In a short hidden-cam video from last year, I demonstrated this on a Latina girl (19 year old) while visiting a friend at his workplace. Note how she blushes repeatedly as she felt the intensity of my sexual energy and mere presence as I was being aggressive, dominant, physical, touchy and sexual…with a bit of desperate and needy vibe. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Now, if you’re naturally able to create this vibe; then you’re golden!

However guys like myself, I was always way too reserved and polite, pussified, introverted, “respectable”, hands-off and didn’t want to offend women in the slightest way (so I thought). So communicating to women [through the body and eyes] that I was sex-crazed about them, was never an option for me before I got into Pickup/Seduction.

Another thing, there are men who naturally project this intense vibe unto women instinctively. It’s the only way they know. I honestly wish I was naturally one of those guy. Nevertheless, my game mimics that to perfection. So if you’re second-guessing your ability to communicate sexual energy with your body unto women; it can be learned just as I’d learned it years ago!

To give you an illustrated idea of how this works, I will recount a snippet of a field-report from years ago where I’d picked up and taken home the hottest girl in the club. You can read the full post here: How to really pick up the hottest girl in the club.

I went to the club, spotted a girl dancing, aggressive and desperate guys were hounding her but as I mentioned earlier, the average desperate guy doesn’t have a plan, hence why he fails to get the girl.

I wasn’t being desperate nor aggressive…yet! So I ran the usual-pickup script, got the girl attracted to me but then I ratcheted up the fucking heat like a furnace with my sexual passion!

We made out in the club [no big deal now but a big deal back then], I dragged her to a secluded area, finger-banged her; desperate and horny as a tied dog [as they’d say in the Caribbean]!

She seen the “intense desire” for sex in my eyes!

Sex was written all over my face and she got the impression that I would fuck her right here right now only if all these nosy passerby weren’t standing and watching in amazement as a hot girl was getting her breasts cupped and sucked in an alley outside of a nightclub…a well-lit alley at that!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

The average desperate guy fails prior to this juncture because he doesn’t have a plan/exist strategy towards sex.

I had an exist-strategy (thanks to Seduction tactics) and I executed it and took the girl back to my downtown hotel (a plush hotel BTW).

This doesn’t only happen from the nightclubs where guys will often brush this off as: “Oh Kenny hits on drunk girls that’s why he’s able to take them home”!

You can run desperation/passion game any fucking where: grocery store, school, classroom, church, streets, restaurant, mall, work, etc.

You might want to re-watch a recent video I’d posted where I picked up a British chick who was here on business. Although I didn’t need to ramp up the intense passion at the beginning (though I persisted). However, after taking her to where I wanted us to go, the sexually intense game was on…which led to… ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰

More Action Steps:

Ok, to get you prepped and started, I want you to Walk up to a random stranger tomorrow and say to her (with fucking conviction):

“I love you! This must be what love at first sight feels like”!

Her default reaction will almost always be [98% of the time]:

* A laugh

* “Huh”?

* “Are you serious” [with a quizzical look]?

She’ll be puzzled yet intrigued as she gauges to see whether you’re kidding or what!

Just go do it guys!

Try it out!

If you’ve never done something needy or desperate in relation to women before: try it the hell out!

Walk up to a random girl and say:

“Hey, can I be honest with you? I seen you just now and I couldn’t help but to imagine us making passionate love on a beach in the Caribbean somewhere! Do you always make stranger-men feel this way”?

I guarantee you that the girl won’t run for the hills, she won’t slap you, she won’t call the authorities and she won’t be offended [especially if you keep a congruent frame].

I do shit like this regularly (daily), and the response I get 100% of the time is a positive 1.

Even when and if the girl reacts negatively, it’s always a front/token/fake objection.

In my most recent video, I illustrated this desperation game with the chubby-young mom at the store. Within 45 seconds of talking to her; I held and kissed her on the cheek, which as expected, elicited token resistance (she pretended to be shocked), nevertheless it made her 10 times more attracted to me.

Such a bold move says, “I want you so bad; I cannot even help myself”!

This is seen by women as super attractive and addicting; not desperate, not sleazy, not needy, not crazy, not cheesy [wow- that actually rhymes].

Haters (other men) will definitely berate you and call you names for such actions: desperate, crazy, needy, jerk, asshole, douche, etc. So be prepared ’cause you’ll be creating lots of enemies in other men.

Alright, in closing, I will touch a bit on the female psyche when it comes to interest and liking.

A girl merely wants to sense and feel that you genuinely like her before she allows herself to submit to you sexually.

She will not submit to you if there’s doubt about you wanting to sleep with her.

She must know that you want to sleep with her before she actually sleeps with you. She doesn’t want to make a fool of herself by submitting and giving into a guy to then have the guy not man up to the task and essentially waste her precious time.

This is why talking to women over the phone or text almost always leads to nowhere-land. The girl gets the impression that you aren’t serious about her or you wouldn’t be wasting time over the phone (as counter-intuitive as that sounds).

This is why you must do hand to hand combat i.e. get her in person.

You cannot convince or communicate through text message to a stranger, that you want to fuck her unless she’d already made her mind up that she wants to fuck you. This however is very rare. Hence, you have to convince her of your sexual desire face to face.

Sure she may find your sexual texts to be charming and she might even participate most times. But will sexting get her to say: “Hey Kenny, come over and fuck me now”?

Of course not! So everything boils down to what you do while face to face with the girl.

You want to show playful aggression (light or strong) and that you’re willing to take chances and risks whether verbally or physically.

Remember: you can always apologize for being too aggressive, too bold and too sexual as I’d demonstrated in a recent video below.

Therefore, you never want to fear going over board.

What you should worry about is whether you’re being too passive and reserved.

Have no fear whatsoever of being slapped, maced, kicked in the nuts or beaten down by an angry mob of girls.

This isn’t the fucking movies!

Women are actually and subconsciously afraid of offending some guy who can possibly turn out to be a deranged serial-killer who hacks women to pieces for rejecting him. So thinking of genuine repercussions should be the least of your worries.

Now, this all begs the following question:

“Kenny, are there women who will get genuinely offended and turned off by this sorta approach of desperate and intense vibe”?

The simple answer is yes!

However, from my vast experience over the year of meeting and interacting with 1,000’s of women, including real-world knowledge of female-behavioral psychology, I can strongly say that 90% of women will react positively to such an approach as I’ve outlined throughout this article.

Pay no mind to the girl who says [and there are lots of them]: “Oh that would never work on me! I don’t fall for those tricks”!

The truth is: humans operate like pack animals within “group think”. In other words, originality and uniqueness are just bullshit myths. Therefore, most of us [of the same sex] think, act and react alike between 90-95% of the time irrespective of the issue at hand.

It’s almost predictable [human behavior]!

Hence, whenever I attempt to make out with”Girl A”, then later on approach “Girl B” and attempt to make out with her also, there’s a 90-95% likelihood that both girls will have reacted similarly to my kiss attempt:


Hence, all women are the same on an intrinsic level. Due to the psychological principle of “Group Think”, you can almost always [95% of the time] predict a person’s behaviors and reactions solely based on the way his or her peers react to a given situation.

Therefore, be comforted in knowing that only 1 in 10 girls will have genuinely rejected you for running this sort of game. So there’s no logical reason in not pursuing the girl with reckless and desperate abandonment, vigor and passion out of this world [in person].

Also, what a woman truly considers a “Desperate” guy, is one who chases her over the phone or through text messages by blowing up her Facebook inbox begging her for a date. That guy, is whom women consider “Desperate”. Not the guy who chases her face to face.

Lastly, the problem with playing things safe and being (too) aloof in order to not appear desperate, is that women will often perceive your hands-off blase attitude to mean: “He’s not into me”.

Women don’t take your reservation to mean that you’re being a gentleman out of respect and patience. Women take it to mean that you’re afraid, socially inept and probably gay.

And the reality is, the girls whom you do lose, have lost and will have lost in the future, will be due to the fact that you aren’t proactive and persistent and you refused to chase (in person) with some desperation. Rarely will you ever lose a girl for being too aggressive and desperate (desperate from a male’s standpoint). But every girl who didn’t sleep with you, I can guarantee that she’d lost interest because you didn’t pursue her with fire in your belly. You were too patient and reserved.

Every time you hesitate to persist with a bit of desperate energy, and you fail to get physical with a girl, let the following quote replay in your head like a broken record: “If I don’t get physical, she’ll think I’m gay”.

46 thoughts on “The Truth About Being Desperate With Women

Add yours

  1. Great article Kenny. I shared this on google + and sent a link to my brother who trying to get his skills up in pickup


    1. Hey EL, thanks for sharing.

      As for the classroom, it isn’t really about where that you should focus on. Focus more on the vibe irregardless of where you are or the subject. Remember that is more of your energy and vibe and eye contact that what you say out your mouth.


    1. Alright, you’re in class with a girl, I’m assuming you know her already and probably talk. Simply talking won’t get you anywhere. So work on your vibe and sexual energy through eye contact. Look at her during class. Gain eye contact. Flirt with the eyes and undress her, etc. Do that for starters.


  2. I have another ? But about the club. I’m not the club trype but I checked out your video the repost with you in the bar. What I want to know is if I am @ the bar and I spot a girl who like me, then what is the steps based on the advice here? I’m going to the bar tomorrow so that’s why I want to get this understodd fast


    1. Don’t wait around until you sense that a girl who likes you. Look for the girl whom you like then get to work! It’s your job to make the girl like you. In other words; you attract the girl at the bar and not wait until you find a girl who likes you. So simply run regular game but turn the heat up with the passion!


  3. If I remember correctly this sort of stuff falls into the class of selective vulnerability where the guy should or has to present the chick with something that makes him look vulnerable. This concept is taught in pickup all over


    1. Oh definitely Rob that is what it is “Selective Vulnerabilities”. Thanks for raising that point. I may have to edit the post to include it. But a powerful concept no doubt bro.


  4. Socialkenny why is your take so radical than others in the genre? The only other pickup writers I know who writes like you are Derek Rake with his deadly seduction method and probably 1 other. But when I think of guys like Krauser from England and even the day game crew with guys like tom torrero, I dont get this type of radicalism. And when I say that I mean it in a positive way. I think most pua bloggers and teachers water down the message to appeal to mainstream readers but that is misleading. Just like how most game bloggers will focus on phone numbers and # closing the HBs. That isn’t fucking pickingm . Pardon the language but that is not pickup. So a lot of coaches to me water down the message to appeal to ordinary readers who will not take action if you hold a gun to the head. What say you?


    1. I agree totally with everything you said and I constantly write about this and how guys keep appealing to mainstream but not realizing that the average guy will never listen to what they need to do…but a selected few. Guys like Krauser I don’t have anymore issues with apart from what I wrote a while back. But I blame this whole thing on the Alpha mentality. Guys spend so much fucking time trying to look Alpha, that they forget to transition to vulnerabilities in order to humanize themselves.

      As for Derek Rake; I love his stuff as you’d imagine. ๐Ÿ™‚


  5. There’s so much knowledge in this post. I don’t even know where to begin. I think this will be the last article I’ll ever read on Pick-up, its an epic of a piece. I love you man (no homo!)


  6. I think I asked this question before (kinda off topic). But after you lay a woman a couple of times or so, do you have to still keep on getting her out of her rational mind or is it just the first time you lay her?????


    1. No you don’t. Everything is applicable before the lay. After the lay, it’s back to business as usual. But just that you shouldn’t become so caught up that you start to chase too hard to the point of One-itis.


    1. Could be. Might not be. It could be a case where she really had to run or got distracted. Even if you go text her again, it’s all about your frame and the way you go about it. You can either come off as stalkerish or non-committed to the texts you send


  7. Hey Kenny,
    what you talking about in this article is hard for a lot of men.What you basicly saying is talking to a hot girl while keep having a hard one and your sexual desires alive.I think a lot of men just wanna undress the girl immediatly then.Wich can lead to sexual assault ofcourse.I think a lot of men hide their sexual desire because once that sexual desire is active they wanna have sex within 1 minute or less lol.And if the girl objects or tell him she is not intrested.That sexual desire vanish.No comfort,no qualifacation.But you already wanna get sexual or invite her to your appartment.Its a no go ofcourse.You have to talk at least 10 minutes or longer before she will accept your invites.And while talking to the girl 10 to 30 minutes you have to keep your sexual desires alive,you have to keep having a hard one.Wich requires patience.Patience and persistence must be cousins lol.Cause once my sexual lust/desire is active.I feel like maybe flirting for 2 minutes and then i just wanna kiss her/flip her titties out.I dont have the patience talking for like 10 minutes or longer.I having trouble to keep my sexual interest alive.I bet men got like light switch button that goes on or off and women got like a volume button that you need to raise up lil by lil.Gues hookers/prostitutes gonna be my only way out.

    Greetz Fernando.


    1. Good point Fernando. I never looked at it that way so you opened my eye to a new perspective which is that most guys are so sexually excited that if they were to show their desire, they would want to rip the girl’s clothes off right away. And essentially you’re in this boat as far as what I gather


      1. Kinda.When i lust for a girl.Personaly i just wanna get it on right away.But then realizing..I have to create rapport/comfort.Plus dealing with objections,resistence,social pressure(you know when she says no but in a unconvincing way,playing hard-to-get etc.)and there is where i fail.Its like the more i get to know her.The more she feels like becoming a friend.I gues im only focusing on comfort then.Wich kills the sexual tension.Lovesystem has a article about it.


  8. Its like you can understand game.But what it literaly is about.Is deliver game.For example you study to become a lawyer.You only get 8 and 9’s for your exam.But when you in the courtroom.There were you really have to shine and prove you got skills/talent.You feel me ?So lets stop being lazy and get in the field guys.You think a lawyer gonna be the shit in his first few cases?Hell no.But after a few cases i bet he get stronger/smarter and more tactical.

    Peace out.


  9. Dude, you’re on of the first PUA’s that actually makes sense to me… I’ve just decided to check out how things have progressed since the last time I heard about PUA stuff it had become a bit of a circus. Canned lines and scripts everywhere, unrealistic claims by the gurus, you name it. I ran the other direction as fast as i could.

    I’ve always been on the same train of thought – in fact, I wrote about it on my site here:

    … the article about breaking out of friendzone outlines almost exactly the method that you recommend. Being persistent and breaking down her walls… of course, the step before that is developing real value and seeing yourself as “worthy”, having indifference to whether you can win her over or not, and not being phased by women. Now that I’ve done this a few times, it has been true in every situation I’ve gotten into with women I’m interested in.

    Cheers Kenny!

    – PheroJoe


  10. A perfect example of desperate game watch the movie A Thin Line Between Love & Hate starting Martin Lawrence & Lynn Whitfield.Darnell played by Martin pursues Brandi played by Lynn.Brandi is seeing if Darnell really wants her & gives him shit tests example Brandi called security on him & Darnell stilled pursued her & eventually got her.By the way I’m watching it now on BET network.


    1. Hey Anthony, thanks for that comment bro. I remember that movie but haven’t seen it in ages. It’s perfect example of desperate game (in person) and its effectiveness. Depended on the time frame, I might tune into BET to see if I can catch it.


  11. Another example of desperate game watch the movie Stomp the Yard.DJ played by Columbus Short pursues April played by Meagan Good & Grant played by Darrin Henson,DJ pursues April even though April has a boyfriend Grant he doesn’t care about that,even though April had a lil interest in DJ she wasn’t interested in him 70% & up just yet I mean she smiled alot when she kept comin in contact with DJ & when April mentioned she’s a tutor DJ did his detective game to see what subject April tutored so he can get even closer to her so they can go eat etc.& from that point on April started catchin feelins for DJ even mo & eventually April dumped Grant for DJ.Just another great example of desperate game.


  12. & Two more movie examples of desperate game in person watch the movie Mo Money starin Damon Wayans,Marlon Wayans,Stacey Dash.Jonathan Steward played by Damon pursues Amber played by Stacey Dash chases after her to her job & he sees posted open positions at her job and fills out an application while at her place of employment & Jonathan does get the job & he pursues her even more than Amber tells Jonathan she has a boyfriend & Jonathan tells her cool well let him be the best man Amber says I don’t think so & Jonathan says that’s temporary with her boyfriend & says to Amber I got plans for you and me & Jonathan still pursue Amber until he got her which he did get her with his persistence desperate game.& another movie The Wedding Crashers starin Owen Wilson,Vince Vaughn.John Ryan played by Owen pursues Claire Cleary even though she has a boyfriend John didn’t know at first Claire had a boyfriend until Claire introduces John to Zack,Zack is Claire boyfriend,John pursued her with desperate game anyway even after meetin the boyfriend Zack,John pursed Claire still anyway gettin a chance to get closer to Claire every time he got a chance when Zack the boyfriend wasn’t around Claire & Claire falls for John because of those alone times Claire got with John,example John & Claire sittin on the stairs talkin,John on sail boat with Claire Family even though they were towards the back of the sailboat away from the family just them two talkin boyfriend Zack not on the boat,than again a scene with just them two bicyclin BAM alone again no Zack around & the beach scene BAM once more just them two alone,but yeah John got Claire at the end of the movie because of his persistent desperate game.


    1. Thanks for mentioning those movies as examples Anthony. I watched both of them but never really linked them into the concept of desperation game in person. But so true now that I reflect


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