Allow Her To Sit First

Not quite the post promoting chivalry but actually a strategic approach while hanging out with a girl or on a date.

This all came to me 2 nights ago while hanging out with a young chick whom I’d met recently.

Over the past 3 weeks, and this is largely why my postings have mostly been fragmented and quick-video posts, I’ve been mighty preoccupied with writing some e-books by day and hanging out with this 22 year old @ night.

These “hangouts” aren’t classified as “dates” for the simple fact that I don’t structure them as (traditional) dates but more like a meet-up and chill in a super-casual way.

I advise you guys also to begin to re-frame your dates as hangouts which helps to kill the inherent-awkward tension and jitters which accompany traditional dates.

Anyway, having been “hanging out” with this girl who’s 10 years my junior, I’m learning massive amounts of novel nuances, tricks, tactics, techniques and insights which prior to 3 weeks ago, I was totally oblivious to.

One such “move/tactic” which sprung up 2 nights ago had actually occurred to me by chance, or I should say through a mistake to be honest.

This was: Who should sit first?

Well from the chivalry crowd: “of course the girl should be seated first”!

However, this isn’t about chivalry but strategy.

While walking, we’d made it to a bus stop and I decided we should stop, sit and chat there for a bit…so we did.

It was at this point, I made a common mistake of sitting first.

Why was this a mistake?

If you (the guy) sit first, the girl will 70% of the time, sit at a distance if she can avoid sitting right next to you.

It actually makes sense from a comfort standpoint.

The girl will not want to crowd you, especially not knowing if you’d become uncomfortable by the closeness, therefore she’ll elect to sit at a socially comfortable distance which is usually anything further than 2 feet apart.

Hence when I sat “here”; she sat “there” instead of “here”…together.

Not because she didn’t enjoy the closeness but she merely wanted to not make me feel uncomfortable.

I then said to her: “Why are you sitting so far”!?

She replied with the flimsiest of excuses, so much so that I don’t even recall what she said!

From personal experience, for me to then get up and sit next to her would seem awkward so I had to remain seated on the bench at a distance [roughly 10 yards apart]. 😦

One simple mistake such as this can ruin parts of the date/hangout.

Now what I should’ve done was allow her to sit first then I sit right next to her afterwards.


In such a case, I would’ve been able to anticipated where she was to sit then I sit beside her.

Push comes to shove as I did with the same girl about a week ago, when I sat first, she attempted to sit afar so I grabbed her hand in a flash of a second and pulled her upon my lap to sit.

Very powerful play. But this can be avoided by simply allowing her to sit then you sit beside her.

It’s the simple pointers like these which can make the date flow better or bumpy (bumpy in a bad sense).

To familiarize yourself with the seduction-community jargon, check out the acronym and term list: PUA acronym and term list.

4 thoughts on “Allow Her To Sit First

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    1. That would’ve been ok I guess but what I usually find in my cases, when I say that, they hardly ever move closer. They make an excuse to stay afar. Then if I get closer, it sorta offset the vibe.


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