Having A Girlfriend Possibly Makes Your Game 100 Times Better And Get You Laid More!
If you’ve been following my blog from the inception, you will have fount this declaration to be down-right F*****g contradicting…but lemme explain!
Having a girlfriend carries a 2 prong effect running contrary to each other:
1.) Having a girlfriend kills your game and pick-up skills.
2.) Having a girlfriend makes your game 1,000 times better!
Wow! What a goddamn inherent contradiction if there ever was 1! 🙂
Now, why this is so is pretty simple as I’d written about in an article from 2011: Being in a relationship kills your pickup skills…
The reason why being in a relationship has the potential to kill your swag and pick-up skills is simply for the fact that most guys who go exclusive with 1 girl no longer flex their social muscles by gaming other girls, therefore their skills slack off and rust begins to set in.
Pretty simple to understand.
On the flip side, which is where the blatant contradiction pops up, being in a relationship while continuing to flex your social muscles, will have given you an edge in the game, including an aura of confidence and outcome independence that guys who are single just don’t possess.
New subscribers to this blog might not have known, but I am in a relationship and have been for the last 4 years [with 2 kids from said relationship].
“What! OMFG”! 😯
Therefore, I’ve experienced firsthand the differences in both paradigms in relation to dating and game.
My success in the dating field is largely due to the fact that I have a girlfriend.
My attitude and the vibe in which I give off whenever I communicate with women, are also largely due to the fact that I have a girlfriend.
I’ll break this down in detail shortly.
For now, I want to pinpoint 1 key component which will give a guy who’s in a relationship an advantage over the single guy, and that is:
Constant Experience With, And Constant Exposure To Women On An Intimate Level.
Being in a relationship, you will have had constant contact on every level with a female [your girlfriend], including exposure to their psyche, thought patterns, behavioral patterns, etc.
A guy who’s single and doesn’t have the liberty of regular exposure to women on a regular basis (intimate connection), is robbed of this advantage or experience.
Having experience in dealing with women on a super-personal level, will transcend, or at least provide the grounds for transcendence into dealings with women outside of the relationship or marriage.
The problem with a guy who has no or minimal exposure to peer-bonding (relationships), is that he doesn’t have that reference point in which to rely on when in interactions with women.
Minimal exposure to women on a core level [comfort and rapport], leaves the single guy in a sort of lull whenever the interaction with a chick makes transition through phases.
Being comfortable around girls is another enjoined handicap of the single guy [he’s less comfortable in the situation].
Once again, minimal exposure to women on a deeper level, robs the single guy of that James Bond comfort when need be, in which the guy who’s taken will have naturally possessed through exposure to women on a regular basis (his girlfriend or wife).
Am I saying that men who are taken are more confident than men who are single?
This goes without saying.
I call this “confidence through experience” which I’d written about recently: Sexual Confidence.
It’s quite elementary: the more exposure one has to a particular situation (i.e. a girl), the more he or she will have been comfortable, confident and competent in that situation unlike someone who’s never been exposed to it, or has only had limited exposure to that situation (i.e. a girl).
Therefore, the more you interact with women, and the more experience you accumulate through such interactions, the more confident you will have become in general while faced with women.
Pretty simple shit huh!?
The single guy having limited to sparing contact with women, will have had a more difficult time traversing the dating world as he doesn’t have sufficient and constant experience in male-female relations and dynamics… unless he’s a natural player.
This is largely why married men get laid often and are inherently found attractive by women.
If you aren’t in-the-know of the seduction concept dubbed “Pre-Selection, then I implore you to read this article afterwards: Why women fuck men who are taken while rejecting single men.
Men of such stature [taken and married] naturally possess the experience and exposure to the world of women which give them the upper hand in the field, whereas the guy who’s been single for years, doesn’t possess this, hence at a disadvantage in the dating market.
If you were to dissect and analyze a bar setting [which I’ve done many times], you’ll readily be able to spot the men who are single from the ones who are taken but out to mingle.
The single men in the bar appear more socially awkward (in conversation) and try too hard to please and impress the girl.
The men who are taken exude an aura of comfort in the interaction and are more relaxed as is the case due to constant exposure to the presence of a woman [their wives or girlfriends].
The single guy needs to get laid, a disposition which often times means coming from a place of desperation and neediness while communicating with women [coming off as needy will turn women off quicker than a limp dick].
The guy who’s in a relationship (or married), 90% of the time, isn’t coming from that “need to get laid now” mentality since in essence: he already has someone at home [a wife or GF]. Therefore, he isn’t likely to subconsciously display a desperation and needy vibe, but more chilled even if he was to be super aggressive [as I am], yet he isn’t aggressive in a desperate way.
Push comes to shove: the married guy, although itching to shove his cock into some new pussy, can simply go home to fuck his boring-ass wife albeit the sex will have been a buzz-kill [better than no pussy at all]. 😉
The single guy however, has zero fucking recourse: zero fucking option!
It’s either get laid now or another lonely night of wanking to porn.
Since women are super clairvoyant and socially perceptive, they can pick up on this vibe of desperation and lacking coming from the single guy with lightning speed!
On the bright side though: such predicament of desperation can motivate the single guy to persist to try to get laid…which may pan out good for him.
However most times, the single guy chooses the easy route by deciding not to persist while electing to have a date night with porn instead [men in general lack persistence with women].
The guy who has a girlfriend (or wife), rarely ever has to be subjected to the “get laid or jerk” dilemma [unless being punished by his woman with the withdrawal of sex].
Another advantage that the relationship-guy has at his disposal, is the knowledge and daily experience of what women respond to and what makes them tick.
He’s more likely to spot the gray areas, moments in which he should escalate or de-escalate, ability to spot whether the girl likes him or if she’s on the fences, etc.
Not to mention he’s more likely and apt than the single guy to spot nuances such as body-language cues and other SOI’s [Signs Of Interests] from women.
The single guy is less likely to spot these things…unless he’s had sufficient amounts of exposure to literature on the topic [via seduction and game blogs, books, magazines, newsletters, videos, etc].
The guy who’s taken has all the advantages with the exception of logistics of where to fuck the side-chick. Can’t really take the side-chick home if he’s shacked up with his significant other. 😉
Nevertheless, a motel, hostel, hotel or parked car alleviate this eventuality.
As for myself, I’ve been on both sides of the relationship paradigm: the good and the bad.
When I first got with my current GF [4 years ago], I was at the pinnacle of my game, sleeping with a new girl every 2 days via One-Night Stand pulls, but then I stopped actively sarging [looking to pick up girls], stopped going out as much, both of which led to the rust factor in my game at that point.
I was still in the game of Pickup, but mainly focused on theoretical aspects opposed to hitting the streets flexing my social muscles and executing seduction tactics to get laid.
The consequence of this was becoming rusty and losing the old mojo.
That is how a relationship can kill your skills with women.
Most men who get into relationships naturally quit going out, kick their boys to the curb and don’t socialize as much as before.
After realizing how much my social skills sucked since having a girlfriend, I dove right back into the field of Pickup full time, which led to creation of this blog in the first place as I was super motivated to impart what I’d learned.
Having regained my mojo, I became a savage in the field unlike my days of being single.
It was at that point the epiphany hit me: “It’s much easier to get laid while having a girlfriend than being single”!
The way in which I was able to connect with new women was on another level!
Countless hours [2 years worth] of steady interactions with my girlfriend had given me solid-exclusive insights into the minds of women which would’ve been next to impossible to tap into had I not have the relationship experience as a subconscious guide.
Hence the double-edge sword possibility of a relationship: having the potential to hurt your social skills or sharpen them [depended on varying factors].
However there is a great equalizer (to an extent): if you don’t have a girlfriend or someone whom you’re shagging on a regular basis- well act like you do!
If you’re a man who’s single: utilize the pre-selection frame in order to attract and sleep with more women.
Store the following piece of information deeply into your virtual-cranium matter: Women are NOT attracted to men who do not already have other women in their lives!
Guard that piece of information to death!
Therefore, if you are single and cannot get a girlfriend for some reason: then learn to fucking carry yourself as though you get so much pussy you have to swat women off like flies on shit!
This vibe will serve to attract more girls to you as though you were taken or married.
The underlying theme and psychology at play here is that no one wants something that others don’t want.
Pay keen attention to the following scenario:
if I were to present you 2 jewels: a red gem and a green gem.
Both gems are of equal value and look the same apart from their color. But for some reason, the red gem is deemed very precious, desired by most and is highly sought after.
The green gem, for some strange reason, isn’t considered to be that precious, isn’t that desired and most potential buyers seem to bypass it for the red gem.
Now, which gem would you want to buy [granted you had the cash in hand]? The red 1 which has lots of potential buyers after it, or the green gem which no one, or very few potential buyers would purchase?
You as the potential buyer, would perceive the red gem [the 1 which everyone wants to buy] to be more precious and valuable, simply because other buyers want to get their hands on it.
Are you following?
This is the essence of “Pre-Selection” theory in Game.
People want what others have.
People want what is perceived to have value, and they don’t want what others aren’t after (things of lesser perceived value).
How does this relate to women and dating?
Just as with the 2 gems of equal value but 1 wanted over the other: women (subconsciously) want the guy that other women have or other women want.
If you’re a single guy, 9 in 10 times, women will have tossed you into the undesirable bracket, or at least the “I’m not in any rush to get with him now” bracket.
You have no “scarcity” appeal to women, therefore you won’t be as desired or treasured.
If a popular item in store was about to sell out, you as a consumer would most likely buy it now before another customer does.
The guy who has a girlfriend is akin to the item in store which is about to be sold out [even though it has been sold out].
The girl will rather buy it now, knowing that its value is high due to the fact that it’s quantity is low.
This is essentially how marketers brainwash us into buying certain products.
The items which are on the shelves in abundance will have less value and the purchaser won’t feel an urgency to buy it now when he or she can always buy it later.
Having a girlfriend, you unknowingly present women with this ultimatum: “take me now or else I’ll be off the market for good and you won’t have another shot. Plus since I have a girlfriend, my stock value automatically increases so it’s best you buy me now”.
On the Contrary, being single, the girl will not be in any rush to fuck you or date you.
She can always string you along with the fore-knowledge that you aren’t that desired by other women.
Need further convincing of this [Pre-Selection]?
Let’s take Kim Kardashian, the wanton slut, as a virtual-case study.
How many guys would kill just to get a piece of that booty?
How many guys if given the realistic option to date her, would jump on the opportunity to exclusively lock Kim K down as their GF?
Most of us would!
Sure we all know she’s a slut- but she’s a highly-desired slut [pre-selected].
Money has nothing to do with it at all!
Now, given the chance to date a girl who’s hotter than Kim K, perhaps she’s a fellow reality TV celeb, but isn’t that desirable and sought after, isn’t a slut in the least: which of the 2 would you date?
Logically- you should want the girl who isn’t a slut yet just as pretty.
However, you will have attached more value to Kim K [the slut] for the simple fact that she’s more sought after and has more options in men to fuck.
Therefore, most of us men will chose to bang and date a slut like Kim K over a girl who doesn’t have such a negative portfolio of being a whore.
However, filled with pride, the average guy would most likely react to this by exclaiming: “I would never fuck that bitch let alone date her”!!! But given the chance: we’ll see a different tune being sung. 😉
Likewise with women: they’re biologically programmed and indirectly socially conditioned to want a man who’s fucking tons of other women or at least has 1 significant other…or at least present himself as having numerous girls in his life [he’s pre-selected].
Also, what most new guys in Pickup aren’t aware of, is that most gurus and PUA-dating coaches are in relationships: be they marriages, traditional LTR’s [Long-Term Relationships], MLTR’s [Multiple Long-Term Relationships] or open relationships [as in my case].
Allow me to name drop some prominent-PUA coaches who all have girlfriends or are used to being in relationships: AFC Adam Lyons [married], David Deangelo, Speer, RSD Owen [+ kids], Mystery, Matador, Savoy, Ryan Black of Sasha Daygame [U.K.]…and that’s just about 10% of them.
Contrary to popular belief: Guys who are good with women are rarely ever single.
Furthermore, being single is an indirect testimony to one’s lack of skills and deficiency in Game overall [sorry to break the news to you single fellaz].
The general rebuttal by most single men to such a hard truth is often: “Oh I’m single because I wanna be”.
To this, Kenny says “Bullshit”!
Your ass is single because you’re unable to connect with a girl in such a powerful way that she feels an intensely insane urgency to want to cling to you like a fucking life-vest in a plan about to crash land at sea. 😯
The great majority of single men [I’d say upwards of 90%] are single due to their inability to hook hot women and keep them hooked for extended periods of time.
They aren’t single by choice and that’s the official truth.
This’ the reason why I abhor so-called men’s movements on the internet such as the failed Manosphere: basically a bunch of single men crying about how much they hate women and feel as though they’ve been disenfranchised partly by Feminism, hence their staunch opposition to relationships and marriages [I’m anti marriage also, but for practical reasons].
It isn’t that they truly hate women and the idea of relationships and girlfriends. It’s simply because those Manosphere clowns CANNOT get girlfriends even if they had all the keys to the LTR doors.
Likewise with most of us men.
Being good with women, you will have fount yourself in and out of numerous relationships along your journey in the world of dating, pickup and game.
Sure you will have stints of single-dom, but it’s just a stint before you will have fount yourself in another relationship.
My parting advice to any guy who wants to take his game to a higher level and get laid way more: Get yourself a girlfriend!
You will have gathered some deeper insights into the way women work which will ultimately make getting laid much easier.
Don’t know how to get a girlfriend? Check out this video from Pickup-dating coach, Todd Valentine. He speaks about the “investment frame” and that once you get a girl to invest (as you do in her); she’ll go crazy over you, hence want to lock you down in a relationship.
To familiarize yourself with the seduction-community jargon, check out the acronym and term list: PUA acronym and term list.