Reader E-Mail: “I’m Tired Of Being A Boring-Fucking Loser”

Questions from Seun:

“Hey I’m seun anyway I’ve been reading your blog and I was looking for some advice. Anyway I’m a college freshman who’s never really had much of a social life. Never had many friends never dated or had sex with any girls I’ve up to this point lived a very boring life anyway going to college I expected things to get better and while I have a few friends that I talk to I still don’t go to parties and I still struggle to talk to girls. I plan on joining a frat in the spring to socialize more but I’m really scared that the entire process will go horribly wrong. I want to go to parties before that but I’ve never been invited by so called friends who go out every weekend and have lied to me about were they’ve been going the few times that I’ve asked to go with them. I’m tired of being a loser I want to party I want to have fun I want to meet and sleep with hot girls but I don’t know how I would go about changing my image. I don’t care what it takes I’m just tired of being a loser who spends every weekend playing video games…”.

Thanks for the e-mail Seun.

I’d already replied to Seun personally, but I’m also posting it on the blog so as to reach as many guys as possible who may be facing the same issues.

My reply to Seun:

“These are some things you can do or will have to do eventually to change that image.

1. Since your friends don’t want you going out with them; then go out solo. Go out alone! Friends will actually hamper your progress anyway.

2. Dress better (if that’s a prob with you right now). Give some edge to yourself by adopting a sort of bad boy look.

J-Dog, Master PUA coach with a bad boy, Alpha look

J-Dog, Master PUA coach with a bad boy, Alpha look.

Those 2 things you can change instantly.

You cannot be scared to go out alone”.

Seun’s dilemma is nothing strange.

In fact, it’s typical for most men to struggle with having a social life and having a sex life and women from which to chose. So seun and guys like him shouldn’t feel as though they’re in the minority and happened to have been dealt the shitty end of the stick.

I’d been there!

Back in high school in The Bronx, I was totally an anti-social pussy.

Only had 1 friend; and he was also anti-social and introverted.

I used to envy the jocks and the guys on the high-school varsity teams who had all the girls flocking around them.

This 1 girl named Lawanda, I had a major crush on her during my 4 years of high school. She never knew, nor would she had cared since I was so socially suppressed.

I was so awkward and shy during school, that I never laid a girl from high school during my entire 4 years at Morris High.

Fast forward many years later, thanks to the pick-up community, I’m now the most social guy in the room.

I’m now the guy with the most balls, most confidence, most cockiness in any venue. The guy who gets more pussy than a tampon.

Some encouraging words to Seun (the e-mailer who inspired this article): it can and will get better just as it did for me.

It will seem awkward and pointless at first (learning social dynamics), you will get rejected way more than ever (seems counter-intuitive).

But you will see the light where everything starts to open like a matrix, and you’ll be able to attract more ass than you know what to do with it.

Few tips for starters (for guys like Seun who struggles with having a social life and are seeking change):

#1.) If your sense of style is boring, lame and out-dated, you will need to get current and start to slowly peacock (as we say in pickup).

Peacocking PUA's: Matador, Mystery & J-Dog

Peacocking PUA’s: Matador, Mystery & J-Dog

Peacocking is a PUA concept where the guy would dress edgier and put some coolness and originality to his style.

•I peacock by wearing multi-colored shoe laces in the sneakers. Random girls are always commenting on my shoes since they look so original and attractive [as we’d say: chick crack].

•You can also peacock by wearing cool shades, shirts with printed statements on them like, “I’m taken”, or “I love sex”.

“I love fucking”

•Have a lame hairstyle? Get a new one!

•Have no piercings in your ears? Get some!

•No tattoos? Stop being a pussy and get 1 or 2!

•Give yourself some bad boy edge!

Overall, get your style and sense of fashion in order as the first step towards a lifestyle changing.

It’d be difficult for people to wanna associate with a guy who has no style and dresses poorly.

#2.) If you’re coming into a new social group, new friends, joining a college fraternity, etc; be social!

•Don’t come off as a lame or try hard. Just strike a good balance between being reserved and chatty.

•Over time, you’ll be comfortable enough to act a fool and be seen as 1 of the Alpha’s among the pack.

•However, you have to open your mouth and not be seen as the quietest, most boring guy among the bunch.

#3.) Get off the couch, put down the XBox and go meet people at random!

•You can’t shut yourself off from the real world and expect to be a social guy (if you weren’t already).

•Meeting girls on the internet should be your last resort, while actually meeting people at work, while commuting should be the first.

#4.) Enroll in a fitness gym or start working out at home.

•The guy that I’m currently envisioning who has the peacock thing going on with the spiked hair and fitness is Ryan Matsuflex from the VH1 reality show Tool Academy.

Not saying you have to get buffed. But get toned in the arms, shoulders and abdominals.

Ryan Matsuflex

Ryan Matsuflex

Now, am I saying that a guy should change his image in order to appeal to chics?


There seem to be a prevailing argument in the romcom-dating world that a guy shouldn’t alter or change his image in order to appeal to women. And that it’s wrong for a guy to change his personality and style to make it in dating.

This is utter nonsense!

A guy should alter his persona, personality, style, fashion, self, speech, etc. in order to make himself more attractive and fun to be around.

I’m not saying you should build an artificial persona and come off as fake.

Rather to become comfortable with the new you, and the added features.

However, if you’re looking like this guy below; there’s absolutely zero fucking chance that you’ll be getting steady action.

Changing your image/avatar is the first line of offense in attracting girls (since it’s the first thing people see; your outward appearance).

This isn’t being something you’re not. It’s getting up to speed with the times.

To add some edge to your style, check out my boy Tanner over at: Masculine Style.

Also, check out Vince Lin aka Alpha Wolf over at Seducing with style.

Or go to the post: Vote your favorite PUA coach 2012

Check out the PUA acronym and term page to familiarize yourself with the lingo used on this website

24 thoughts on “Reader E-Mail: “I’m Tired Of Being A Boring-Fucking Loser”

Add yours

    1. Didn’t say tatts gets you laid. Don’t be silly Jinx. What they do do, they give the guy a badboy rebel type of edge which is sexy to women. Not that all chics dig tattoos, but most hot women do.


  1. Kenny what do you think about peacocking with designs in your hair? Is that even considered peacocking by the way?

    And I mean like with lines in your hair and stuff. If you ever watch jersey shore on tv, in the earlier seasons, mike situation used to have lines and certain designs in his hair. What do you think.



    1. @Jinx- No doubt that can be considered peacocking.

      Jersey Shore has always been my shit ever since it came out.

      I’m an advocate of designs in the hair with lines and images and stuff. Just as a mohawk and stuff. Those styles are my thing. And I get massive amounts of attention from HB’s.

      Go for it Jinx!


      1. I usually sport a nice cut with a design or 2 whenever the weather is conducive enough. Would be nice if you do up an article of haircuts for attraction material. Think about it.


  2. Hey socialkenny pua, I got a question or 2 bruh if you don’t mine. It pertains to college game.

    1 Can a guy get laid in college if he doesn’t have a lot of friends?


    2 Can a guy like me still get a lot of play even if I’m not muscular in college?

    Thanks in advanced


    1. 1. Of course! However, having friends or a social group in college is a plus in the fact that you will be able to fuck girls in the name of social-circle game. So it’s a plus to have buddies.

      2. Sure! I’m not buff! I’m athletic built but not muscular. I’m a slim guy. Buff guys don’t get laid. As the PUA guru Paul Janka once said, the guys who get laid are skinny guys and not buff ones. So don’t despair.


      1. Thanks a hellovalot man!

        Now I know I may have to befriend a few guys on 2 and at least be ingratiated in to a social clique on campus since it my freshman year.


        1. You don’t have to. Just that if you’re looking to get laid from social-circle game or from girls who associate with a social circle of guys, then you may want to get into a group and befriend guys.


        2. Yea man. Just like Kenny P said, you don’t need to go that route of clicking up with guys on campus. You can go solo and make it as it should be in game. Having wingmen and social circle to game from is nice, but not requirement.

          And you can check kenny’s latest video if you chose to go the online route


          1. Ok japan pua. But as socialkenny was saying, meeting girls online shouldn’t be the first option and not when meeting girls at college neither.


  3. Ha ha! Love the shoelaces. You posted about them before.
    That’s good advice. That kid needs to get his confidence up and get out there!
    It’s funny that you talk about changing your persona and image to be more attractive. Women do that all the time! (I know how you hate when people say men and women do similar things! :- )


    1. Well you’re right women do it all the time. And men don’t usually since they’re told that altering their appearances will make them fake. But women do it all the time every week basically. If she doesn’t do something to her style, she becomes bland over time.

      Yea I did post about multi-colored laces before and how much I get attention from young girls whenever I walk into a store or something.

      Hopefully Seun gets his confidence and style up for real and he’s not just passively reading and not applying.
      Sent from my BlackBerry® device


  4. Hey Kenny,

    Good stuff.

    Your point about getting off the couch and actually going to meet people can’t be said enough.

    There are so many guys right now who could be having so much more success with women if they would just make an effort to meet them.

    Get up, get out and start saying hi to people. It’s amazing what happens when you go out and engage the world.



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