My 2012 Pledge & Manifesto


If this ugly world of ours doesn’t blow, or life as we know it isn’t drastically altered to where we’ll be dwelling in a fucking post-WWII-type sphere, this will be my pledge for 2012 on into 2013[fingers crossed].

*I pledge to become a better boyfriend to my on & off MILF GF [although she does shit to intentionally drive me off the cliff…but she’s a woman, so it’s understandable].

*I will do my DAMN best to refrain from flirting with every chick in the club. Also to put an end to my sleazy-bar tactics: like smacking girls on their asses just because I know they secretly love an audacious bastard like I am [sure beats the hell out of Joe Blow approaching her talking about the weather or which school she attended] SMH!

*And I pledge from the deepest depths of my dirty heart, that if another half- inebriated/drunk hot chic throws herself all over me like a Jersey Shore slopapatamous [thanks for that one Sitch], I will activate every once of my moral fiber to not take her home and bang her like a caveman with no regards for her sanity at the moment.

*As much as it pains me to say: I know I’ve been extra critical of grossly over-weight females, giving them all sorts of degrading titles like Fat, Big, Chubby, BBW’s…I need to realize that a 300lb. girl was perhaps born that way, opposed to eating herself into obesity and an early grave [although I honestly know that’s bullshit]. But I promise to lighten up on the fat-girl jihad.

*I pledge that I will NOT become a hypocrite, like the former-Republican House-Speaker, Newt Gingrich: banging women on the side while castigating Bill Clinton for doing the same thing.

*Last but damn-sure not least: If my GF does dump me for being a slacker, jerkoff and a bar-hopping prick, I promise to not take vengeance by doing something real flubbed up and immoral [to some]- like sleeping with 1 of her hotter friends [not that I have].

All in all: I’m just tryna strive to be a better man in 2012. Push comes to shove- I may go out with a f-ing bang if the Mayan’s artifacts prove to be factual. If that be the case: this manifesto will be tossed out the window [fingers crossed].

15 thoughts on “My 2012 Pledge & Manifesto

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  1. SMDH @ 300lb women! Some people do have types of disorders or is plus size for other reasons than eating but let’s face it! In this society most of us are eating unhealthy, fast food driven and lazy as hell. I’m not directing this to people who are over weight but all people in general. I come from a plus size family and they were born to be plus size so I know it doesn’t all come from eating…so yeah Kenny take it easy…besides it’s not nice!
    **sits back for a response** LOL


    1. Well when I said that about being born big:I was just playing devil’s advocate.I have no spathy for women who are far over weight.You can’t be born over weight.just a classic excuse.This is what happen:the parents,who themselves are probably over-weight,instead if feeding their chubby toddler the proper way,they out or ignorance feed the toddle too much.And that cycle continues into pre-teen,teenage years,etc.So no one was born to be fat except in rare rare cases of some growth disorder or something.Coping out for fat ppl need to stop in the western world(America).Not that you were defending obesity lol.


  2. What is wrong with you? Pardon me, I know I just met you via the blog world but your so f***ing silly…lmao

    Finges crossed that the world will end…lmao.

    I love this list…and try not to be a jerk off to you on and off again GF…no use of changing your status to “its complicated”.




  3. Good luck with that…… all are good goals… but don’t give up the flirting! I used to get so jealous of my husband for being such a flirt… then I learned how to be one too… Never had more fun in my life, and my cleavage gets me great discounts at our local pawn shop, I kid you NOT! 🙂


    1. It’s impossible for me to give up flirting.That was just for laughter.Flirting is harmless.

      Lmao wow Blondie,I need to take you shopping with me to get some discounts via cleavage lol.You are so damn lucky!!


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