Mike The Situation (left), Pauly D (right): attitude vs looks.
The seduction community’s position on looks has always been “Looks don’t matter”!
I totally agree! And I’m 1 of the few remaining guys in the community who still advocates this to the FULLEST!
Lately however, seems like the community on a whole has been back peddling and doing 180 flips from it’s original position on looks to where gurus and dating coaches are now saying and insinuating that “Looks” is the biggest weapon in a guy’s arsenal.
With this article, I’m hoping to end it all right here right now, and to squash this newly perpetuated fallacy that good looks get guys laid [over style and attitude]!
You’re more likely to get laid from being in the right place, right time (as every guy has), than by being a super-hot guy.
Solely possessing good looks do not fucking matter!!!
They do not get you laid!!!
It matters as much as pickles on a cheese burger: which is pretty insignificant to the overall eatability of the burger.
From my consensus [I actually took a few], looks (facial-wise) only matter between 5-8 % in the grand scheme of the overall attraction and seduction process.
That is fucking dismal for all the hype and hoopla surrounding this issue over the decades.
Good looks (stunning facial features) is at the bottom of the totem pole when compared to qualities such as:
•Style
•Personality
•Attitude
•Humor
•Confidence
•Tonality
•Voice
•Conversation, etc.
Three years ago, I’d polled 60 female Facebook friends, presenting them the above-mentioned 9 qualities in a guy in which they’d choose the qualities that would possibly aid their decision in sleeping with a guy.
Having good looks (facially) ranked the least: 5%!
So a girl is less likely to sleep with you because you look like Denzel than if you had a bad boy attitude.
Take that pretty boys!
Confidence trumps good looks!
Balls trump good looks.
Attitude trumps good looks.
Know-how and savviness trump good looks.
Wits trump good looks.
Having an infectious sense of humor trumps having good looks.
Being good at conversing trumps good looks.
Every single above-mentioned quality in a guy beats the shit out of having good looks.
This has always been the position of the PUA community, so I really don’t understand how and why we are now perpetuating that good looks matter.
I’m a Jersey Shore fanatic, which is why I’d written about these dudes numerous times on the blog.
This time however, I’ll do a virtual case-study on 2 of the guys who featured in the reality show: Mike The Situation and Dj Pauly D.
Mike The Situation (left), Pauly D (right): attitude vs looks.
Those who aren’t familiar with the series, the guy on the left is Mike, Pauly on the right.
From an experiment I did some years ago via Facebook, my female friends unanimously voted Pauly D as the hotter guy in the looks department (face-wise).
Pauly is way hotter (according to women and societal standards of beauty), he has the straighter nose, better tan, women go crazy over his facial affectations.
Mike on the other hand [guy on the left] is more rugged-looking, the bigger nose, facial blemishes, looks older (although Pauly is surprisingly years older).
Women on a whole tend to find Mike ugly [as was the case from my Facebook census].
Not only my Female Facebook friends hold this opinion, chicks generally opine that Mike isn’t good-looking.
Fine!
Those who had followed the show know where I’m headed with this.
Ok, so Mike is ugly- Pauly’s hot!
Chicks have spoken!
Now, if I ask you the readers, assuming you’d never watched the show, which guy do you believe got laid more, you would unanimously say Pauly D- guy on the right who’s generally perceived as hotter and has better looks.
Mike The Situation (left), Pauly D (right): attitude vs looks.
However, what if I were to tell you that Mike, the ugly guy [according to general consensus] was pulling way more ass than the cuter guy was!!
Would you believe me?
Of course not! But it’s true!
The Popeye look-alike got laid more!
In fact, of all the male roomates [4 of them], who all had better looks than Mike by the way, Mike still got laid more than the other 4…who were hotter (facially).
The guy who just doesn’t get it, who is still hung up on the looks thing is probably saying “Fuck No! Guy on the right had to have been smashing more vagina than the other guy”!
When you’re able to step out of the matrix and really get to know how attraction and women work; only then you’d come to believe that a socially perceived ugly guy could get laid more than the perceived handsome guy.
You have to understand that women process “Looks” differently than we retarded men do.
For us men; face is a HUGE deal!
For women; attitude is the biggest deal.
What separated Mike from Pauly (apart from the looks) was attitude.
When out, Pauly was too reserved and waited for the action to come to him.
If the action doesn’t come (which it didn’t): he goes home alone.
Mike on the other hand was ULTRA pro-active!
He sought out the action i.e. hot girls without apologies!
He had an aggressive, cocky, bad boy, IDGAF attitude which most women cannot resist, although they’d say that Mike was a douchy asshole!
Mike, [the ugly guy] was actually picking up 2-3 girls and introducing them to Pauly. So he had gotten Pauly laid on numerous occasions throughout the seasons.
Pauly, the hotter guy, was eating Mike’s crumbs.
This also dispels the myth that a hot guy can just lay back and wait for women to approach him and fall at his feet in submission.
Bullshit!
If you’re under the illusion that because you have Brad Pitt looks it means you can just be non-proactive at the bar and hot women will just throw themselves at you: you’re fucking nuts!
The Sitch [Mike] was fearless in his approach to picking up girls at the club and back to his pad!
Although he didn’t have good looks on his side, he did have the more important things though:
Balls
Confidence
Swagger
Fearlessness
Cockiness
Congruence
Forwardness
Badass attitude
Alpha-male traits
These qualities mean something to women.
Being that aggressive badass in the nightclub scene will get you laid a ton: even if you’re butt-ugly.
Guys who’ve been struggling throughout their lives with LSE issues [Low-Self Esteem] stemming from their looks, and have been called ugly and unattractive by women and men alike, look yourself in the mirror and affirm:
Looks do NOT fucking matter!
Make that your mantra and war-cry from henceforth!
If Mike The Situation could pull hot ass constantly [because of his attitude]: then you can!
Make no more excuses to blame “ugly and looks” as reasons to suck with women.
You have an irregularly long or big nose; so fucking what!
Doesn’t matter!
Your hairline receding and you’re going bald; so what!
Suffering from sever acne outbreaks on your face; so what!
Big-lipped, thin-lipped, huge-eyed, chubby-faced, scar-faced, flat-faced, pizza-face, yellow teeth…don’t fucking matter!
Your attitude, style (dressing), swagger, and vibe will override those facial imperfections.
Attending school, I was always teased and made fun of by classmates, being called flat nose, cone-face, banana-face you name it.
It made me very self-conscious growing up.
When I’d discovered the pickup community years ago (by chance), my life totally changed after learning that looks don’t fucking matter!
I can still get laid despite having what society considers to be physical imperfections.
I’d transformed myself from an introverted, self-conscious chode to a social-fucking Rockstar with enough confidence to stretch around the globe 10 times and some!!!
Once you begin to realize that having a perfectly-shaped face doesn’t mean shit without having Game and confidence to back it up, you’ll begin to grasp why dudes like Mike The Situation, in spite of his peculiar nose, can still take hot girls home!
Having Game and learning the seduction skills which I teach, will get you way further than the pretty-boy who believes that his cute face will get him far.
Remember, take a look at yourself in the mirror and say:
“Looks do not fucking matter! My attitude does”!
Meditate on it!
Sleep on it!
Shit while reciting it!
Record it on a voice-recorder or cellphone and replay it a thousand times if you have to.
Please do not let anyone convince you and fool you into thinking that you have to change your facial appearance in order to get laid!
That’s like putting icing on shit [to use PUA coach Josh Pellicer's analogy].
Icing is decorative and tasty, but to put it on shit will still not make shit eatable.
So altering your facial features (surgery, etc.) will still not miraculously make you good with women if your inner game (confidence and self-esteem) is crappy and suspect.
It’s about attitude (bad boy and aggressive) and style over socially perceived good looks.
Related article:
Why ugly men are so confident with hot women by Socialkenny PUA
I’ll leave you with these photos of Mike The Situation, a Natural Alpha Player, doing his thing over the years on the Jersey Shore reality series.
Watch, look and learn how swagger, dominance, style, asshole game and a bad-boy persona gets girls.
Now have a Rockstar weekend!
Check out the PUA acronym and term page to familiarize yourself with the lingo used on this website
Those guys definitely have game, but the MTV cameras and fame do most of the heavy lifting for them.
Sure it’s a DHV, but I counteract that point by saying that these guys were getting laid even from the first season and second when they were totally unknown, so cameras weren’t the reason they got laid.
I was basically comparing the 2 guys, so even if cameras or the fact they’re known was the main key to getting girls, it still answers my question which was that the perceived ugly reality TV celeb got laid more.
So whether you’re known or not, you still need to have skills and be proactive with women.
When you watch the early episodes, those women they were getting with were not attractive at all. A bunch of 5′s and 6′s. Vinny was the biggest simp in the world. He didn’t really get anything in the beginning.
Yea so I notice as I reflect to the older episodes. But you must agree though that attitude and style is a bigger card to play that just relying on facial looks and a ripped body.
Of course. You can’t avoid the game!
Imho look does matter, like everything else in seduction. If you do not have something going for yourself you will have to compensate for it.
Give the good looking guy confidence of not so looking guy and see who pulls more.
Yes presented with option, girl will go with more confident than better looking but shy guy, yet give her confident/good looking and confident/not so good looking, and see what she choces.
What I mean was, looks are over hyped and too much emphasis put on it.
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Looks can give you a leg up in certain situations, but they don’t do the work for you as a guy, like they do if you are a girl. Gotta up your game!
@Keanu- Thanks for chiming in with a good point bro.
Lots of men are under the illusion that with having good looks, they can just be lazy and not even approach girls and chicks would just open them all night, and that is just not the case. You have to still actively open and have skills as you say.
Being good looking without knowing how to have a conversation won’t take you far. Or being good looking but not knowing how to handle logistics of a lay won’t pay off neither.
Kenny U missing the point these guys R famous like shit bruh
@Malik fame has nothing to do with it.
What Kenny P is trying to say he is comparing those 2 guys and which pulls more. Even if you want to put it on fame, then who of the 2 famous guy was pulling more hbs on the show? Mike Sorrentino was.
Sharpie said it all on this topic. Fame is irrelevant to this aspect. And remember, in season 1 and 2, these guys were still unknown.
Great post, I suspect the drive towards physical perfection in manosphere blogs, has something to do with money, or rather, it will have something to do with it.
I never thought about it from that angle. But you raised a good issue as far as perfection in the Manosphere goes. But it would be nice if you can clarify what you meant by “money” in that context.
The angle will be to improve their appearance: gym memberships, clothing/fashion, and dare I say cosmetics as well ? They’ll say that outward appearance will have an effect on inner confidence … first covertly with lots of game platitudes, and then overtly because of some “alpha-system”.
All in all, the lemmings will try to get ripped in their designer apparel, hiding the tears in their eyes (because of the waxing and nose-hair plucking) coz that’s not alpha … heh.
Lol I agree with everything you just said. And this is why I’ve had issues with many Manosphere guys over the past year. You can be claiming to be Alpha and then you’re altering your appearances under false guises.
This line of thinking has already been sold, and bought, by women. Can’t believe THEY are going in that same direction!
This Post is right on the money! Wow! Attitude vs Looks. The eternal fight.
To the guys saying that these two guys are famous and are dismissing Kennys argument they are forgetting that they are famous thanks to the program, so their fame it’s comparable and therefore irrelevant to say that is the reason one seduces more chicks than the other. In the jet-set world, even here in my country, you see guys that are über famous (and rich also) who get involved with disgusting chicks while others in the same level are with models.
Don’t forget that The Situation “wrote” a book about picking up girls. Very good post.
My fellow PUA from Colombia, what’s up bro’? Haven’t heard from you in ages!
Great point! That was exactly my argument which you just clarified better than I could’ve. Both of the guys may be recognized now and have some fame, but compare the 2 famous guys, the 1 who was said to be ugly was pulling more.
So fame doesn’t matter in this case.
Oh yea I forgot the name of the book.
Back when the show first started, I wrote a post on the pickup artist forum asking if Situation was a PUA because of his style. And it’s so ironic he wrote a book on picking up chicas.
He knows his stuff, and he knows that looks cannot compare to attitude and style.
“Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore” it’s his book seems very funny. Don’t judge a book by its cover they say.
You say: Don’t judge a player by it’s looks. A very “groundbreaking” argumen because of the direction of the manosphere and it’s placement of importance more and more on looks, style and fitness.
This isn’t a pacific topic and there’s lots of room for debate about what makes a man fuck lots of girls (can be Logistics, which The Situation is an expert at by ‘dodging grenades’)
Also, why dont you write about teamwork in Jersey Shore? Lots of Mike’s bangs were the resullts of playing the game along Pauly and Vinny (whom they say its a great teamplayer who was often cockbloked by Mike) You’re the JS expert.
Oh definitely 1 shouldn’t just a book by its cover!
Logistics key also. Funny thing you said that because I’d written a post a while ago saying that bad logistics is your worst enemy in-field.
As for winging basically, I did kind of hit on that, that the guys were pulling 2 sets and stuff to take home.
I’ll blog about that soon. I actually have a post in draft about this. Basically social circle lays too.
Stay tuned!
Good points all. I call this attitude winning!
@Djheynow- Thanks for stopping by. From your link, I realize that you do NLP or am I wrong?
BTW, just subscribed to your NLP course.
Such great points. I hate when the hot looking guy approaches and opens his mouth and no confidence or attitude comes out. Immediately he is on the not getting it list. You have to have the other qualities to make me want to give it to you. Cause if you speak and their is no connection I am instantly turned off.
Lol that was 1 thing I was hinting at which is what you just said. A guy might be super hot, but he can’t carry a convo, doesn’t have anything going for him but looks, shallow on the inside. Good to hear a girl chime in and actually confirm that just because a guy is good looking doesn’t mean he has a free pass to the sex-ville.
It always makes me laugh whenever guys argue that looks are so powerful, and just as important if not more important than your game. And they get so passionate and emotional about it too! I really don’t know what they’re smoking.
They just don’t understand how the female sexual response works, so they have to assume that women operate exactly like men: physical looks are everything. You would think this shit would be common sense by now.
@Introverted Playboy- Solid points! Men are so much based on the visual, we presume that chicks are the some. And that’s why lots of guys are under impression that they can just recline at the bar and women will just beg to chat with them because of their looks.
IDK what they’re something neither IP lol! Style and attitude (game) is a better card to play than good looks. You and I know that.
Insights are on point ip. I read your stuff often as I do kenny’s but I just don’t comment as I rarely ever comment here.
Like your points. Highlights how men can think backwards sometimes.
Hey Kenny, you’re going to like this. I don’t know if you’ve heard of “Keys to the VIP”, but it was an awesome and hilarious Canadian show that was like a PUA contest. In this episode, two guys with equal looks (they keep saying the younger guy is “good looking” but I think they’re both equal) compete, and the one guy blows the other out of the water in terms of results with the girls:
Of course bro! I’ve written about Keys like 3 times already on the blog. That’s my shit!
A lot of ppl say that it was hilarious. Sure Peachez is funny but I don’t see it as a comedy eventhough it’s listed as comedy.
But it’s my shit though! I’m not sure if I seen the vid you posted. Will check it out!
y’all quit pretended. Of course looks matter (face, height, physique). And if you don’t have looks, then you either get rich or famous to compensate. Charisma, or ‘Game’, is really the last thing I’d be worried about.
Like the above commenter said, the Jersey Shore guys were pulling low quality during season 1, when they were unknown. Now they’ve got the advantage of status working for them, not to mention they’re all ripped.
@Brandon- Lol dude, if I were a fat guy with Game, I believe that I’d pull more ass than if I were Brad Pitt with no Game. I’d rather have Game than good looks in the world of dating.
I can’t count how many times guys drop the ball from not having game and sense of logistics, whether those guys were good looking or not.
Logistics, attitude (Alpha) and game are the greatest assets to getting laid. Looks at least to me, further down the chain. According to the girls I’d polled, it is too. Not that we should take womens’ words, but I believe they’re telling the truth here.
I agree that the girls from season 1 weren’t drop-dead gorgeous, but had the guys went for those girls, I can imagine the results would be the same.
I’m not counting the ripped part because when they guys are clothed, it’s not that easy to see they’re ripped.
Brandon, check out the video I just posted above. Two guys, both pretty good looking, getting VERY different results with the girls. If game was so insignificant, we would not see those results. In fact, the guy who is more successful is actually shorter than the other guy.
Not sure if I even seen this clip. Is Cajun in it?
No, this isn’t the episode with Cajun (although that one’s pretty good too). These are just two random dudes.
Lmao, he says looks don’t matter but yet posts pictures of a Jersey Shore Guido guy with good looks and whose only motto in life is GTL. GYM, TAN, LAUNDRY. OKAY Kenny, good example bro.
I had a feeling this was Enthalpy. I’d already explained in the post what I meant.
Squattincassanova above
I thought your Jersey Shore example was appropriate! Mike is fugly and pulls the most. Even if they weren’t pulling 8′s in the beginning, it wasn’t due to his looks, it was due to part of his game (his personality and background isn’t for everyone, especially if you have more going on for yourself as a woman, as in looks or education or status).
I saw Mike on this dating show “The Choice” and all the girls ignored the other male contestants, actually attractive and talented celebrities, to flirt and choose Mike! Unbelievable!
Girls mainly focus on their feelings and the experiences they have with you. If they are feeling good and special, they will feel attracted! Of course if you have a pretty face and approach a girl, her ego will automatically make her feel special but if he can’t back it up with conversation or game, then she will lose that attraction.
All guys need to worry about when it comes to looks is having good hygiene and having their own sense of style. Could be any style, doesn’t have to be GQ or Rockstar style!
Well exactly that was my point. Mike is fugly (according to women) but pulls the most out of the bunch.
And great point also Bossy, the quality of the girls they pulled didn’t speak to the looks issue.
Wow! That’s crazy when you brought up the dating show situation but I can see how it went down like that.
Attitude over looks!
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