Guest post by Brenda Lyttle
“What to do When Your Partner Needs Space in the Relationship”:
“My girlfriend said she needs space”: Does this seem like a familiar statement? Of course, it is. You must have heard your friends complain about it or even read the same thing in many relationship magazines. Agony aunt columns are overflowing with such problems. A big deal is made out about giving space to your partner. Is it a serious issue? Is it serious enough to break your relationship? The answer is a mean yes.
There is a fine line between not caring and giving space to your partner. If you want your relationship to work, you have to work hard towards recognizing the finer points of this statement. The following things will help you a lot in understanding the importance of space in a relationship –
1. The Need For Space In A Relationship – You enjoy kissing but you can’t kiss forever, a kiss has to break sometime. The reason is that if your kiss continues forever, you would never be able to appreciate it. It would become something mundane and common. Space is that welcome break in a relationship that allows you and your partner to do whatever you want alone. It’s a little time you spend away from each other, even if for an hour.
The need for space is the need to experience things on your own. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t have time for yourself. It’s very healthy and even recommended. Thus, if you give each other some space to do your own things, your relationship would get stronger.
2. How To Give Space To Your Partner - You don’t know when you are overstepping your boundaries and crowding your partner. Space is necessary for a relationship but not everyone knows how to give it. It’s simple and complicated, depending on your level of sense and judgment. You have to be aware of your partner’s moods and nature.
Do they seem annoyed when you walk in while they are painting? Does your partner like cooking alone? Is there a particular time in the day when they retire to the garden to read the newspaper? These are the kind of questions you need to think about. Be a little supportive and try to sense when they need some alone time.
3. Balancing The Act - Different people have different definitions for love and relationships. Some people like to spend all their free time with their partner while others feel the need to spend some time alone to recharge their batteries. If you know your partner and love them, you must learn how to balance both your personalities and needs. You don’t have to withdraw emotionally and be aloof but you don’t have to spend every waking moment with them either.
You can’t be an expert as soon as you try these things. It takes a lot of experience and understanding to get it right. Be patient with each other and you will learn how to give space to your partner without risking your relationship.