Still fucking unemployed!!

20120201-190204.jpg

What does it take nowadays to land a fucking job: be it a shitty one or decent one at that?

Not even if I resorted to talking to Jose about a job on his tomato plantation would that seem to suffice.

I’m at the point where selling my body for some cash is looking pretty reasonable right now [not on any homo shit but to start banging undesirable obese-women]. Watching a few episodes of the Showtime Network’s Gigolo has me entertaining the idea.

20120201-190632.jpg

STATISTICS:

I haven’t been officially taking stats on my job search, but over the past year, I’ve applied for about 20 jobs [staggering I know] and landed NADA, ZERO, ZILCH, whatever the hell you wanna call it. I’m 0 for 20 in the jobs department. My sex life has more positive numbers [despite the friggin' flakes].

Among the places I applied to were 3-5 star hotel/resorts here on island. I never thought it would be so fucking difficult to get a bartending gig. Since when was bartending such a highly coveted and prized job that these MOFOS keep denying my applications!!?

20120201-191800.jpg

To add salt to the wound, the most recent hotel which rejected my resume for a bartender, I did some follow-up research and discovered that they’d hired a muthafucking 18-year old chic as the new bartender for the vacancy!! Fresh out of high school, no work experience, no experience in mixology, couldn’t tell the difference between an Apple Martini and a Sex on the Beach- yet she gets the fucking job!!!!?

Well I guess pussy/sex does sell!

These bastards down here in the Caribbean don’t hire potential employees based on work experience, certificates nor qualifications. As long as you have a vajayjay between the legs: those employers salivate at the possibility of easy sex or indirect bribery.

I wonder how my fellow pick-up artist Johnny MILF Quest has been doing in the UK (since we’re in the same fucked-up boat). Holla at me Milf Quest!

Seems like my next best option would be to go on the road and take a world tour like my man Turner been doing (Around the world in 80 jobs). Mexico is looking brighter as far as employment is concerned !!


To stay active and some what sane, my landlord owns a beach bar here on the island [The Pink Sand Beach Bar], so I’ve been pitching in at his joint as a bartender.

20120201-183938.jpg

*The upside and plus to that is that I get to game hot-ass tourists and further my credentials as a drink-mixologist.

*The downside is that I’m not fucking getting paid!

A year of unemployment, shitty-odd jobs and being tossed on the back-burner by backwards establishments and companies is a hard pill to swallow.

If most of my time wasn’t spend picking up women, I swear I would’ve gone AWOL and MIA.


Added Info:
Last week, I’d applied for a security job at the international airport (from an ad in the newspaper). So I’d basically be like those hated-TSA guys (in America) who harass travelers at the airports.

What better job than to be watching sexy-ass tourists everyday and get the opportunity to actually grope them legally in a pat down LMAO [just kidding feminists].

So- we’ll see how that goes down.

20120202-044033.jpg
I can be this lucky guy soon.

28 Responses to “Still fucking unemployed!!”

  1. Damn I’m sorry to hear all this stuff… yah I worked in a bar years ago, I was a beer girl (that was so fun!) and of course they hired that 18 year old cuz she was hot. LOL :)

    Damn.. you know? There is an upside … is hte landlord giving you a break because yo’ure working there on the rent? :) ? That’d be kewl…

    Like

    • Lol y’all women really have it made lol.Tits and ass get you far.

      But yea,despite the “not working” thing,it’s a major plus that I get to work at my landlord’s joint as compensation for the lack of rent $ lol.That’s a good deal right there.So I’m able to retain my apartment instead of moving in with grandma LMAO.

      Like

  2. Just keep looking and applying and eventually you will land something. Also when you bring a resume try to mean manager face to face, don’t give it waitress because she is going to most likely throw it into garbage bean.

    Like

    • Lmao that makes a lot of sense BogsPUA.Other staff member and employees may feel that I’m a new guy looking to take over their job.So it makes sense that they would toss my resume in the dumpster.

      Like

      • Exactly if they already over staffed it means new person is less working hours for everyone.

        Another thing is that it is always better to give the resume to person who actually makes the hiring decision, because you can leave a personal impression on him.

        Like

  3. Wrong spelling in previous comment:
    *mean manager = meet manager

    Like

  4. I know here…they try saying “oh you over qualified” maybe that’s why they hired the 18 year old…hot ass no brains! LOL! j/k! Have you considered relocating to a better job market? I know that require money to relocate…but maybe some where that you have a family member that can help you out for a few months until you get a job.

    Like

    • Lol next time im gonna state,”no qualifications”.

      There’s better job market in the world today boo.Every country on Earth is on the brink of another global recession,so to relocate would be non-sensical.

      Selling sausage does sound good lol.Why should I keep giving it away for free when there are hot mamas out there who’d be willing to pay lol?

      Like

    • Lol next time im gonna state,”no qualifications”.

      There’s no such thing as better-job market in the world today boo.Every country on Earth is on the brink of another global recession,so to relocate would be non-sensical.

      Selling sausage does sound good lol.Why should I keep giving it away for free when there are hot mamas out there who’d be willing to pay lol?

      Like

  5. The other thing people seem to do here in the states…is go to school and rely on student loans and grants. Well…if none of the above works…Selling sausage might just have to do! LOL…j/k
    Hope you land something soon. I know that is frustrating as heck!

    Like

  6. I watch that damn show too! I like to make my husband mad and tell him I dig that guy with the tattoos…. Why don’t you drum up some backers and put together your own bar? You would certainly get hired if you were the boss!

    Like

    • Lol your husband must feel inadequate when you banter with him about the gigolo guys lol.That’s my show though.

      I’ve never been the entrepreneur-type.Never had the drive.Although this vast unemployed streak could be the elements telling me to start my own enterprise.

      Like

  7. offdadome Says:

    haha, actually told one of my guy friends to consider being a d*ck for hire, times are hard out here, you have to be creative!!!

    ****side note- hope you find something soon, even if it’s those gropers/airport security

    Like

  8. Good luck with the job search my dude.

    Like

  9. Where is the carribean are you? My dad has his own company and I would have no problem talking to him for you. kb903@hotmail.com. Send me a email.

    Like

  10. Um, I have a blogger I was following who was selling his self for money for real…but to men! I was amazed because I look for a woman to go there much quicker than a man…but anyways…like I said **with my hands on my hip** I hope you find something!

    Like

  11. You were saying you not doing “no homo” so I was just saying…I can’t believe others will. I know you won’t “MR PICKUP GUY” lol!! I think it’s very clear what you like! LMAO

    Like

  12. Chasing green is important, but your bartending gig sounds like it is getting paid in the ultimate way. Bartending can be a winner. In the words of Mr. West, “I dont know what’s better, getting laid or getting paid…I just know when I am getting one the others getting away” (except when bartending:))

    Thanks for the holler, keep up the writing. Interesting stuff.

    Like

  13. The unemployment statistics in the UK are the highest they’ve been in forever, it’s terrible to be honest. I’m off on maternity leave n i’d be stuck if my job wasn’t secured; the economy is just not a good one right now

    Like

  14. hehe sounds like you need to start selling your goods to the tourist girls from overseas. Just advertise yourself as having a 30 centimeter anaconda. But seriously, maybe you could make a little cash with your blog too.

    Like

    • @Jesse-Being a Gigolo should be an easy task for me since I’m used to a promiscuous lifestyle anyways.I could be like the tourists’ mandingo.

      Fortunately though,I’d landed a job over the past 2 months.I’m doing security @ the mall.Not in a million years I would imagine being a security guard.But it’s better than nothing in a down economy.Plus I get to sarge while working.

      Like

Comments are closed.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,020 other followers