Archive for February 1, 2012

Still fucking unemployed!!

Posted in Economics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2012 by kennyata joseph

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What does it take nowadays to land a fucking job: be it a shitty one or decent one at that?

Not even if I resorted to talking to Jose about a job on his tomato plantation would that seem to suffice.

I’m at the point where selling my body for some cash is looking pretty reasonable right now [not on any homo shit but to start banging undesirable obese-women]. Watching a few episodes of the Showtime Network’s Gigolo has me entertaining the idea.

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STATISTICS:

I haven’t been officially taking stats on my job search, but over the past year, I’ve applied for about 20 jobs [staggering I know] and landed NADA, ZERO, ZILCH, whatever the hell you wanna call it. I’m 0 for 20 in the jobs department. My sex life has more positive numbers [despite the friggin' flakes].

Among the places I applied to were 3-5 star hotel/resorts here on island. I never thought it would be so fucking difficult to get a bartending gig. Since when was bartending such a highly coveted and prized job that these MOFOS keep denying my applications!!?

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To add salt to the wound, the most recent hotel which rejected my resume for a bartender, I did some follow-up research and discovered that they’d hired a muthafucking 18-year old chic as the new bartender for the vacancy!! Fresh out of high school, no work experience, no experience in mixology, couldn’t tell the difference between an Apple Martini and a Sex on the Beach- yet she gets the fucking job!!!!?

Well I guess pussy/sex does sell!

These bastards down here in the Caribbean don’t hire potential employees based on work experience, certificates nor qualifications. As long as you have a vajayjay between the legs: those employers salivate at the possibility of easy sex or indirect bribery.

I wonder how my fellow pick-up artist Johnny MILF Quest has been doing in the UK (since we’re in the same fucked-up boat). Holla at me Milf Quest!

Seems like my next best option would be to go on the road and take a world tour like my man Turner been doing (Around the world in 80 jobs). Mexico is looking brighter as far as employment is concerned !!


To stay active and some what sane, my landlord owns a beach bar here on the island [The Pink Sand Beach Bar], so I’ve been pitching in at his joint as a bartender.

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*The upside and plus to that is that I get to game hot-ass tourists and further my credentials as a drink-mixologist.

*The downside is that I’m not fucking getting paid!

A year of unemployment, shitty-odd jobs and being tossed on the back-burner by backwards establishments and companies is a hard pill to swallow.

If most of my time wasn’t spend picking up women, I swear I would’ve gone AWOL and MIA.


Added Info:
Last week, I’d applied for a security job at the international airport (from an ad in the newspaper). So I’d basically be like those hated-TSA guys (in America) who harass travelers at the airports.

What better job than to be watching sexy-ass tourists everyday and get the opportunity to actually grope them legally in a pat down LMAO [just kidding feminists].

So- we’ll see how that goes down.

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I can be this lucky guy soon.

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