I put together a video with some infield clips from last week at the bar, on the subject of wingmen, and why you should go out alone to avoid becoming ‘wing’-dependent.
I put together a video with some infield clips from last week at the bar, on the subject of wingmen, and why you should go out alone to avoid becoming ‘wing’-dependent.
Tuesday night while grabbing a snack at a pizza joint, I spotted a 3 set – a mixed set- 2 woman and 1 man, sitting and standing at a table while waiting for their orders.
The younger looking and more attractive of the 2 women, I singled her out for the approach.
I can either approach the 3 set and game them that way, or look for a breakaway and then approach my target while she’s somewhat away from her group.
That is just what I did.
As if by a stroke of luck: the girl stepped aside to make a phone call.
At that exact moment, I was at the other side of the pizza joint [about 30 yards away], observing and sizing up the situation.
Ok, though I, including the pickup community on a whole, preach that you should approach immediately without allowing any time to elapse, there are times when you should use the 3 minute rule [instead of the 3 second rule] before approaching the girl, particularly in venues and restaurants.
The thing is, in pickup, when we say “approach the girl immediately”, though not specified, it is meant particularly for street-game situations or fleeting moments such as a girl who is to board a bus or train and so forth.
In such a case [a fleeting moment], it is wise to abide by the 3-second rule and approach the girl then and there!
However, in a food joint or anywhere where the girl is expected to be somewhat a stationary target, if the logistics aren’t immediately favorable, you can scope out the dynamics for a better chance.
For instance, when I walked into the pizza joint, I spotted the 3 set right away.
They were all locked into a deep conversation.
For me to just approach the set, would’ve stalled its momentum and required a lot more effort to single out the girl in order to pick her up.
Hence, I waited a few minutes and the girl happened to distance herself from the 2 persons she was with in order to use her phone [a stroke of luck], then I approached her instantly as the moment presented itself.
As if a man on a mission who knows what he wants in life, I strolled across the pizzeria to make my approach with all eyes in the place squarely on me.
Quick note: lots of guys starting out in pickup, have major-anxiety issues when it comes to approaching and chatting up girls in front of strangers.
They fear rejection, especially under the watching eyes and listening ears of others around.
With this being the case, most guys elect to not approach the girl altogether.
As for myself, since this isn’t an issue for me anymore [social anxiety] and I simply don’t give a rat’s ass who sees me fail or succeed, I approached the girl while she talked away on her smartphone…about 100 eyes squarely on me at that moment.
Two things about making such approaches:
1.) Other men who see you approach women, will either hate you for it and wish for you to fail.
2.) Or they will admire you for having the balls to make such a move which they themselves cannot.
Therefore, whenever I approach a random girl, if I do give a shit about what other men will think [which I don’t], I focus on the positive [men admiring my style], which gives me greater encouragement to proceed.
Thus, that is a secret tip and mindset hack of mines as to how to gain courage when approaching strangers around other people.
Don’t think that other men are hating and watching to see you fail in order to have a great laugh.
Re-frame the situation in your mind, that other men are observing you in adoration and rooting for you to win!
Anyways, so I approached the girl in the pizza joint while she talked aside from her group.
This is the type of situation where I love to use the “awkward” factor to my advantage.
Case in point: I stood right next to the girl as if I was actively trying to listen in on her conversation.
I cocked my head over towards her (exaggeratingly) with a curious yet humorous expression on my face.
What else would a girl do but smile at my playfully awkward gesture?
She laughed and smiled.
Apparently, since I was able to overhear the conversation, she was speaking to her dad on the phone:
Girl: “I ate 2 giant lobsters today. My stomach is still full but I feel a little nauseous”.
As she blabbed on, I made this gesture:
She smiled and chuckled again.
Girl: “Ok dad, I’ll call you back tomorrow when we’re leaving”.
She hung up.
Me: “You know what. That is really rude! But only because it was your father on the other end why I’m letting you off the hook…this time”. :)
We both laughed away.
Recognizing it was pure humor, she apologized for having me wait.
Though I rarely ever do this [absolutely never], I extended my hand to her in order to shake.
Me: “I’m Kenny”.
Reason I did the handshake was because she motioned for it even before I extended my hand. So I just went along with it.
After a vibrant and bubbly 10 minute chat, their orders of food-to-go had reached via the waiter chick, so I knew I had to act now in order to get the number to set something up.
As she got up from her stool, following the lead of the 2 persons who she was with [later found out they were her coworkers], I said to her:
“Hey, real quick! Gimme your #”!
She hurriedly read out her phone number to me as they left.
This was Tuesday night.
Came to find out that she works with an election-coordinator group which monitors elections across the Caribbean.
Tuesday was actually local elections here on island.
After securing her phone # at the pizza joint, being that she was to leave the following day [Wednesday] as she related to me during the pickup, I knew I had 1 night and 1 night only [that same night I picked her up] to get to sleep with her.
Therefore, I engaged her in Whatsapp conversation in order to set up a rendezvous for that same night.
I shot her some texts just before 7 PM.
[My texts in the white background and hers in blue]
The 1st thing I suggested was to meet up at her guest-house but she was shacked up with her coworkers.
I then threw Plan B out there which is to take a stroll to the jetty [screenshot above].
I totally didn’t expect her to want to meet up so late [12 AM].
That should’ve set off the flake alarms early, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Ok, so approaching 12 AM, I hit her up again on Whatsapp asking if she [and her coworkers] was at *******, where she was doing some last-second computation work in the aftermath of the local election.
The following screenshot said it all as far as the pending flake.
She said to me:
“I don’t feel good”.
Red fucking flag!
That is 1 of the most common flake lines you’ll ever encounter when trying to get laid:
“I don’t feel good”.
At that point, I already knew what was up, knew it was a flake so I decided to delete her phone number and kept it moving.
How ironic that I just met the girl after 6 PM Tuesday evening, then was forced to delete her that same night [after 12 AM] after she flaked out on our rendezvous [below screenshot].
I told her I was disappointed…which was true.
She sent a message saying she’s sorry about flaking out on me.
Yea, yea, yea – I’ve heard that before.
As for cutting your loses with grace: I’m a strong proponent of doing just that.
I come across so many girls and pick so many of them up, that I’ve built up an immunity to instances where I lose girls due to flaking and indecision.
You don’t want to give flakers [women] the impression that you’re hurt and destroyed over the fact that you were stood up.
The most I do whenever faced with a flake, or the girl says to me, “Sorry I can’t make it tonight”, is to express my disappointment by saying to the girl that I am disappointed about the turn of events and I wish we were able to meet up.
It’ll never hurt you to express disappointment in that way. However, you don’t want to throw a fit and reduce yourself to begging, crying or bribing.
Overall guys, the grand lesson I want you to take away is a crucial 1 for your inner game. And that is that you must expect flaking and that women will stand you up on dates.
Don’t take it personally or you’ll go fucking nuts and begin to despise women as wanton liars and tricksters!
All may seem well leading up to the date. But she can pull the plug on it at the last second just as what occurred with me with the chick I featured in this article.
Also, you’re never too good at game to not be flaked on.
No guy is un-flakable.
In fact, the better your game is, the more flakes you will have received…but that’s for another post.
Flaking for a girl is a psychological decision she comes to [sometimes on the fly].
It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you.
In fact, the fact that she likes you so strongly, will lead her to flake and back out of a date to which she had previously agreed.
This is why when it comes to meeting up with a new girl, you want it to appear as pressure-free as possible.
With this set, I made the mistake of applying too much psychological pressure (through text) instead of leaning more towards nonchalance about the entire meet-up.
The reason I pushed it so hard and fast was very justifiable: the girl and her team were leaving the island the next morning [Wednesday]…in less than 16 hours from the time I picked her up at the pizza joint.
Hence, I wasn’t afforded any time to lag, lapse, play it all cool and build attraction by not chasing somewhat. So it was a very delicate pickup with the best option being an instant pull to an instant date to instant sex. However, that idea was blunted because of her work affairs.
Catch you guys later!
Been a while since I knocked up a Night-Game field report for you guys.
The night kicked off at about 6:30 PM [Friday] as I left my apartment for the downtown area.
I was to meet up with this smoking hot 18 year old at the bar [pictured below with adjoined screenshot from Facebook messenger on Friday evening].
However, that plan fell through as I was more up for street game than to hang out with this chick.
After a while of combing the streets for some hot girls to pull, my stomach was on empty so I grabbed a pizza on the roadside.
Some hours later, I made it to the bar/nightclub and had a fucking blast.
I usually go out every weekend but I hadn’t really gone clubbing or bar hopping for the year.
So much happened that I can’t recount every detail as it went down…not that I was hammered by the way.
What really stuck out though was the bitchy fucking bartender who gave me attitude all night! :shock: :mad:
That bitch literally terrorized my entire night as if she had it out for me for some unknown reason.
When I ordered my 1st drink [Apple Martini], she yelled at me for leaning over the bar counter. :mad:
To add insult to injury: I had to chase her down for a fucking straw which she should’ve placed in my drink in the 1st place!
Bitchy Bartender: “You should speak up next time”!
She threw the straw down into my drink with the plastic half way hanging off the straw into my drink! :shock:
Generally, I wouldn’t hesitate to give a bartender a royal cussing [I’m notorious for cursing out bartenders], but I kept the peace while gritting my teeth in disbelief at this bitch’s audacity!
About 45 minutes later, I went back to the counter and ordered a beer.
She had me standing there while she served about 4 other patrons who got there after me to order their drinks.
At this point, my ears were fucking fuming!
Later down in the night/morning, after chatting up a few girls, I felt that I was in the mood for some makeouts, so I proceeded to the bar counter to buy a mint to freshen my breath from the alcohol.
Bitchy Bartender: “We don’t sell 1 mint. 3 for a dollar”.
Me: “But I don’t want 3 mints. I only want 1″.
I wasn’t being patronizing- honestly. I only wanted 1 mint. My pockets were already stuffed with gadgets and shit, so I really didn’t need anything extra to stuff.
She insisted on selling me 3 mints for $1 instead of the customary 25 cent per mint inside of this venue.
After some debate, she sold me the 1 mint I wanted.
A while later [perhaps after 4 AM], I asked her to refill my cup with ice [which is free by the way] but she refused.
My drink was fucking hot and this chick refused to throw a few ice cubes in my cup…free ice at that!?
I gave up and drank the lukewarm drink!
Overall, I had about 3 alcoholic drinks for the entire night [which is a lot for me] and capped the night/morning off with a plastic bottle of Coke.
Across the way from the bar, there’s a bench-like sitting area where lots of girls were congregating, so I found my way over there to hit on some girls.
I didn’t manage to take anyone home. But in spite of that, I got physical, flirty and sexual with various girls across from the bar.
By the time I left the bar, the sky was already brightening.
I hadn’t been out till sun up in years…perhaps 9 years!
In the Caribbean, most bars and nightclubs usually close at dawn if there are still patrons there.
Street game and night game ain’t easy but it’s fun.
When you dedicate yourself to pickup and going out, it actually requires vast amount of hours in the field.
I went out from 6 o’clock PM Friday night, on my feet virtually the entire time, and strolled in my apartment this morning [Saturday] at 5:30 AM.
If you aren’t doing it, then I suggest you get some real gam time under your belt and quit cheating yourself by only spending 2 hours in the field…especially on weekends.
I have an idea for a new-social experiment: Crotch Bulge!
Checked out a few of those videos on Youtube where women buldge watch guy’s crotch on the bus and trains. This really goes to show how women are huge perverts too…which I already knew.
Be as it may, I plan on going out tonight with something crammed down into my crotch area to give the impression of a super hung guy…just to see the reception I receive.
I will also try to record to catch girl’s gaze to see where they’re actually looking.
Very interesting experimentation.
Couple with the fact that my girlfriend tells me that she watches guy’s crotch area for a bulge, and it’s actually a very common thing like guys checking out random girl’s asses.
Keep you posted guys.
Remember: women are huge pervs. Some of you guys just can’t believe it.
In keeping with the theme of the previous post, I want to delve a bit deeper into ‘Perception and Reality’.
Now that you’re well aware that other men will hate the fact that you’re picking up women and they will try to derail your success, this short post will hopefully aid you in getting your mind in the right place with the realization that you make and shape your own reality.
Now, I can already hear guys going, “De-mystify this Kenny! What do you mean we shape our own reality? Give examples”!
Some of us may be familiar with the saying: “Our thoughts shape our reality”.
In other words: what you think about mostly, will materialize.
Whether this is true or not, it is best to err on the side of it being factual than to believe otherwise.
This piece of insight however rings true in pickup and is very crucial to one’s development in the field.
If you believe that rejection exists, and as a consequence, girls always reject you, then your perception [of rejection] will materialize!
That is the ultimate point at which I’m reaching.
If you’re walking around as a guy with the ideas in your head that you aren’t desired by women, then it becomes akin to a self-fulfilling prophecy on a personal level.
This is why I urge you to begin to think differently about dating and life itself.
You can’t keep going around falling victim to what other people think of you, say of you and what other people’s perception and reality of you are.
Your perception is the only 1 that counts!
I put together a video over the weekend [included some infield clips] on an interesting question and subject on which a lot of guys seek advice.
Is there a perfect-logistical time to go for it?
In theory- yes!
In actuality- no!
Your cue to approach the girl should be as you spot her.
Check out the video for some pertinent demonstrations.
As a guy who’s been in the trenches of pickup and seduction for many years bow, a rock solid inner game had to have been the catalyst to my perseverance.
If you wish to persist in this lifestyle journey: you also will have to learn to re-frame negative beliefs and negative feedbacks.
Most guys drop out of pickup because they weren’t resolute enough in the face of criticism and blow-back…which speaks to faulty inner game issues.
The kind of blow-backs you’re bound to face in game, are detractors who talk shit in hopes to deflate your inner confidence and derail your progress with women.
In the face of such criticism towards you taking up the journey in pickup, re-framing (negative) aspersions is a must.
The truth is: other men will deem what you do [pickup] as offensive, womanizing, desperation, harassment, you name them!
Bear in mind that my emphasis is placed on “Other Men”, as being the detractors, shit-talkers and casters of aspersions.
Women on the other hand, advocate pickup.
Women are the least of your concerns where it pertains to learning an art that will help you get better with women.
Since you’re in pickup to get better with women and not to meet men: why the fuck are you concerned with what other men think and say about you doing pickup!?
Listen, I’ve been called everything from a rapist, serial harasser to desperate.
Other men of course!
Your biggest hater and opposition in game will be your fellow man.
You have to be mentally strong enough in order to withstand such false labeling by the haters, or else you’ll crumble right back into your loser ways.
As someone who’s been in the game this long, whenever I get criticized by other men [always men who don’t get laid nevertheless], such labeling simply rolls off my shoulders like water.
I’m not affected by negativity.
I got into pickup to learn how to get laid and to teach you guys the same.
As long as women are on my side -which they are- I can care less which AFC Beta [men who don’t get laid] tries to talk shit by loosely casting around labels such as rapey and harassment.
The reality is: women want men to learn pickup…at least the hot girls do!
Women are dead tired of having to have to be accosted by men who have no clue as to what attraction is, how to generate it and how to get laid…which is what women also want.
The reason why girls come off as bitchy and standoffish whenever approached by men, isn’t because women are opposed to the idea of being approach. It is simply because of the approach in the 1st place [lame-ass cat-calling and so forth].
Hence, men tend to get the impression that women don’t want to be approached.
However, if they only change their approach, then the reception from women being approached, would’ve been different. But make no mistakes about it: women are up for being approached.
Men, at least the ones who will hate on you [who are many] and get into name calling, aren’t worth paying 1 grain of attention to.
You are in this to get laid and not to try to impress other men, neither to appeal to their sense of what is right or wrong.
At your stage, it will require solid inner game to plow through bullshit and criticism from other men. Just as it requires a solid inner core to withstand rejection from women.
As you gain experience and time in the field, you will have come to the realization that the guys who talk shit about you for trying to meet women, are only doing some out of their own vanity, insecurity and inferiority complex.
Imagine if you were a guy who couldn’t approach random hot women…which you were at 1 point?
What would be your impression of another guy who was able to step to those hotties, generate interest/attraction, get contact information and eventually hook up with scores of girls?
You’d probably feel somewhat envious and question yourself as to why you’re unable to do the same [meet lots of women].
Hence, whenever you encounter other men who talk shit about you doing pickup, always re-frame their negative attacks as signs of their jealousies, inner weaknesses and low-self esteem issues being projected onto you.
You are the man they wish they were!
I repeat: whenever other men try to shame you for being involved with pickup [and it’s always the guys who don’t get laid]: Always re-frame their negative point of views for what they really are- they wish they were you.
As the running title of this post goes: “You make your own reality”!
In other words, life melds to whatever it is you feel and perceive!